SCENE 4 - 1:32 A.M. - THAT NIGHT (OR MORNING)
Everyone is asleep but Lenny. He's pacing back and forth, thinking.
Lenny: (in thoughts) "Well, she's right. I'll only live 3 floors up. And she is crazy about me. (scoffs) Can she help it?"
Audience laughs
"I think I was being a little over protective of myself.(stops pacing) I mean, just because I started dating Angie when we were friends, doesn't mean Laverne and I will hate eachother in the end too. I mean, why do I ask her out all the time then if I actually don't wanna go out with her? Hm. Good question. (long pause) Probably 'cause I knew she was gonna say no" Lenny sighs and heads toward the bedroom. He goes over to Laverne's bed, and sees she has a little rubber iguana in her hands. It looked EXACTLY like Jeffrey, but 1/15 the size.
Lenny: (in thoughts) "She wanted to sleep with something that reminds her of me."
Lenny leans over the bed, and gives Laverne a kiss, just like the one she gave him. Laverne wakes up, and slaps him. Lenny backs off, rubbing his face. Laverne starts to scream. Shirley wakes up, hears Laverne screaming, and starts screaming herself.
The sound of the screams goes through the vent, up to Carmine's apartment. He wakes up, hears the screams, gets dressed, and heads down to investigate.
Shirley: (still screaming) "What!?!?!"
Laverne pointed to Lenny. "He...he..heee...h-he"
Carmine rushes in, sees Lenny in the girls' bedroom, automatically links it to the screaming, and punches Lenny in the nose. (I had to make it exciting....I'M SORRY!)
Lenny puts a hand on his bloody nose... "Oooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!"
Laverne gets out of bed, and rushes to Lenny's side.
Laverne: "Whatcha do that for?!"
Lenny sits down, holding his bloody nose. Laverne kneels by him, trying to help.
Carmine: "You girls screamed...I thought he...ya know."
Shirley: (wide eyed) "Did he...try to Laverne?"
Laverne rips off her nightie sleeve and puts it on Lenny's nose.
Laverne: "No, he was in here, it was dark, I woke up and he was kissing me and I didn't know who he was. He scared me so bad!"
Lenny is "ow"ing.
Carmine: "Hey, I'm sorry Len. You can punch me in the nose tommorrow."
Lenny looks up..."Thanks"
The audience laughs.
Laverne goes to the bathroom and gets the first aid kit.
Carmine leaves. Squiggy, of course, slept through the whole thing.
Laverne comes back and Shirley is standing up.
Shirley: "Ya need any help?"
Laverne: "Naw, I got it. You go back to bed"
Shirley yawns, streches, and heads out of the room.
Shirley: "Well, I'm up, so I'm gonna ge get something to drink.
Laverne took off the nightie sleeve and threw it away, put some kind of gel stuff on his nose, and put a couple of bandaids on it.
Laverne: "I'm sorry for slapping ya. I didn't know who you were. It was my first reaction."
Lenny: "It's OK. I woulda done the same thing."
Laverne: "Whatcha do that for, anyway? I thought you didn't like me."
Lenny: "No, Laverne. I'll always like you. It's just that....remember Angie?"
Laverne: "Yeah"
Lenny: "Well, she only lived down the street, and when her father went away on a business trip, she had to come live with me and Squig. And we started getting into a relationship, and when her dad came back, she went home, we never payed much attention to eachother, we broke up, and we ended up hating eachother. I don't want that to happen between you and me, Laverne. 'Cause we've been friends forever."
Laverne: "Aw. Len, you and me will always be friends. No matter what.(pause) Even if we did brake up, we would only be mad at eachother for a little while. I can never stay mad at you. You're funny, cute, you care about other people, whenver I'm sad or down, and Shirley's never there to help, there you are. (pause)You're little weird, but all that, none the less."
Lenny: "So, do you want a relationship still?"
Laverne: "Yeah"
Laverne and Lenny kiss again.
Audience: "Whhhhoooooooooooooooooooo"
Shirley comes back in the room, sniffling.
Shirley: I wasn't listening. I... was... watching a soap opera on T.V. One of those soap operas that are on real late for people that are still up.
Laverne and Lenny go back to their kiss.
SCENE 5: NEXT DAY, PIZZA BOWL
Laverne and Lenny come in, holding hands. Squiggy and Shirley are at the usual table.
Squiggy: "Hey, Len! Hey Laverne! Wanna go bowling with me and Shirl?"
Laverne: "Sure"
They all head into the bowling alley. They come out some time later. Laverne is holding a score sheet. Here are the final scores:
Lenny: 182
Shirley: 121
Laverne: 186
Squiggy: 154
Lenny: "Ya barely beat me, cupcake"
Laverne: "I know. Oh! Here comes Pop. (Laverne drops Lenny's hand.) "He knows you're not Italian, and if he sees us together..."
Frank: "Hi muffin. Did ya go out with that Italian guy a week ago while I was in Chicago?"
Laverne: "Yeah I did. He was weird Pop. He kept asking me how much money you made"
Audience laughs
Frank: (wide eyed) "If anyone asks ya that, dump him."
Laverne: "I'll remember that Pop. Um, me and Shirl gotta go home. We hafta clean."
Frank: "Ok, bye."
Lenny, Laverne, Shirley, and Squiggy all leave the Pizza Bowl.
As soon as Laverne walks through the door, she drops her coat, and goes to plop on the couch. Shirley comes in after her, picks up her coat, and puts it in the closet. Lenny comes in and plops next to Laverne. Squiggy comes in.
Squiggy: "Hey! I saw a new movie poster by the theater, Anyone wanna go?"
Laverne and Lenny shake their heads.
Shirley: "I'll go, but no funny stuff, or I'LL brake YOUR nose."
Squiggy: "Fair"
Audience laughs and applauds as Squiggy an Shirley leave.
Laverne and Lenny, almost automatically, kiss. After they're done bein' all mushy they watch T.V. for awhile. Lenny is sitting up, and Laverne is lying down with her head in his lap.
The picture fades on this last scene, and the end theme song starts to play.