Shirley and Squiggy come in from the movie and see them sleeping.

Shirley: "Shh. Squiggy. Look. Isn't that cute?!"

Squiggy: (unenthuisiastic) "Yeah, cute. I'm going ta bed"

Shirley: "Yeah. I think I will too. (Yawn) G'night, Squig."

Squiggy: "Yeah. Hey, can I have a blanket?"

Shirley: "Yeah, hold on a sec."

Shirley goes to the closet and gets a blanket and pillow. Squiggy gives Shirley a peck on the cheek. Shirley looks suprised.

Shirley: "What was that for?"

Squiggy: (embarrassed) "For bein' so nice. I mean, did you hear how mean Mrs. Babish was?"

Shirley: "You're welcome, Squig. Yeah, I did. That wasn't very nice. (Shirley gives him a real kiss) Ya know? I always thought you were a creep, but you're not that bad. 'Night"

Shirley walks into the bedroom and turns off the light.

Squiggy curls up on the floor.

SCENE 6: ABOUT 5:00 A.M.

Laverne wakes up with a jump. She had a dream she was falling off of something. She tried to see her watch, but couldn't so she got up and turned on a light and squinted at it. Once she saw what time it was, she turned off the light and sat down back on the couch. She looks at Lenny, who is snoring slightly.

Laverne: "Len?"

All she gets in reply is a loud snore. Laverne realizes the reason she's up is she doesn't feel good. Her stomach hurts, she has a headache, and she's tired, but she can't get to sleep. She is suffering so much, she leans against Lenny and starts to cry.

Lenny wakes up and doen't know what's going on.

Lenny: "Laverne? Whassa matter?"

Laverne: (tearfully) "I don't feel good"

Lenny: "Awwwwwww...What hurts?"

Laverne: "Everything"

Audience laughs

Lenny: "I mean specifically"

Laverne: "my head, my stomach, and I'm tired."

Lenny gets up, gets a Tylenol and a sleeping pill.

Lenny: "Here, If you're not asleep in an hour, I'll give ya another one."

Laverne: "Len, I don't want you to stay up for me. Go back to bed"

Lenny: "Nope, I love you, and I'm gonna take care of you."

Laverne swallows the pills, and within 5 minutes, she is asleep. Lenny turns on the T.V. and sits down, and within 5 minutes, he is asleep also.

When Lenny wakes up at 10:00, Laverne is up and crying.

Shirley is up, but she's in the kitchen, making breakfast.

Lenny: "Shirl! Why are you just letting sit and cry like this?"

Shirley: "No matter how hard I try, she won't stop. She says she hurts so bad"

Lenny turns to Laverne "You think ya need to go to the hospital?"

Laverne shakes her head "no"

Lenny turns to Shirley.

Lenny: "Ya give her anythin'?"

Shirley: "No, I didn't think of it."

Lenny sighs and goes to get some pills. He comes back with the sleeping pill and the Tyenol just like before. He gives them to Laverne and she gulps them down along with the whole glass of water. Laverne falls asleep almost right away.

Lenny: "Aw. Ain't she cute?"

Shirley: "Yeah. Hey maybe we better get outta here so she can sleep. Wanna go to that movie? I wouldn't mind seeing it again"

Lenny: "Sure"

Lenny and Shirley grab their coats and head out the door.

Laverne wakes up just as Shirley shuts the door. She looks around, puzzled. She shrugs and figures no one's in the apartment. All of a sudden Squiggy bursts through the door, back from cleaning thh Pizza Bowl.

Squiggy: "Hey, Laverne! I made $4 cleaning!"

Laverne kind of grunts at him, not really caring.

Squiggy: "And ya know what? I just saw Shirley and Lenny walkin' down the street!"

Laverne: "So?"

Squiggy: "They were holding hands!"

Laverne jumps up. "What?!?!" She's got Carmine! Lenny's mine!"

Laverne runs into the bedroom, gets dressed in about 2 minutes flat, and runs past Squiggy and out the door. Squiggy falls down.

"Ow!" As long as he's sitting, he counts his money again.

SCENE 7: OUTSIDE

Laverne has been running around for 20 minutes, trying to find them. She sits down in front of the theater. All of a sudden she hears Shirley's laugh. She looks over to the left and sees the sleeve of Lenny's jacket. She can't see him, just his sleeve. She figures he is leaning on the wall. She gets up and goes over to investigate. She leans against the wall to listen to what they are saying.

Lenny's voice: "Ya know, Shirl, you're fun to be with."

Shirley's voice: (laughs) "I know"

Audience laughs

Shirley: "You too."

Lenny starts to say something else, then it's quiet. Laverne figures there is something wrong with this silence, so she peeks around the corner to look.

Laverne almost screams at what she sees. Lenny and Shirley are kissing!!!!!

Laverne: (yells) "OH MY GOD!!!"

Lenny and Shirley jump and look at Laverne, who has her face in her hands.

Laverne: (softly) "No, no, no, no, no."

Lenny: "Laver..."

Laverne looks up, her hand flies up and smacks Lenny in the face before he can finish "Save it!! I mean really, Len! I wanted a relationship, you didnt, we FINALLY got together...and the NEXT DAY I catch you kissing my ex-best friend!!"

She starts running down Knapp street towards home.

Shirley runs after her, grabs her arm, and stops her. "Laverne..."

Laverne: "Shut up Shirley! Don't bother coming home, either of you! I'm locking the big, fat lock tonight!"

Shirley: "Laverne, I don't have a key for that one! How do I get in?"

Laverne: (calmly) "Oh, gee. That's tough. I dunno....(yells) WHY DON'T YOU SLEEP IN THE GUTTER?!?!?! THAT'S WHERE YOU BELONG!" Laverne runs away crying.

Lenny comes up behind Shirley.

Lenny: "Yikes."

Shirey turns to Lenny and starts to cry herself. She leans on Lenny and Lenny tries to comfort her.

SCENE 8: Night in the girls' apartment.

Lenny and Shirley are squatted down, knocking on the window.

Laverne is sitting on the couch, reading, and has the record player turned all the way up so she can't hear them.

Laverne: "Shut up!!! I'm goin' ta bed, and if you knock on that window one more time, I'm gonna come out there personally and give ya a telegram from Mr. Fist!"

She gets up, turns off the record player and the lamp and heads towards the bedroom.

Lenny: "Nooooooo...please Laverne?!?! Let us in!"

Laverne: "Give me one good reason"

Shirley: "'Cause it's about 25 degrees out here and we're freezing."

Laverne: "That's a lousy reason!"

Lenny: "Laverne, can ya cummere a minute?"

Laverne: (suspiciously) "Why?"

Lenny: "Just cummere"

Laverne walks over to the window. Lenny gives her his famous puppy-dog face. Laverne's look softens a little.

Laverne: "Lenny, don't do that. You know no one can resist it."

Lenny does it anyway. Laverne opens the windows.

Laverne: "Len? Can ya answer one question?"

Lenny stops the puppy-dog face thing.

Lenny: "What?"

Laverne: "Did she kiss you or did you kiss her?"

Lenny: "She kissed me."

Laverne: "Well, why didn't ya say so? I'll let ya in! Go to the door!"

Lenny jumps up and we see his feet run towards the door, Shirley too. Laverne goes and opens the door, and her and Lenny, almost automatically, kiss. Laverne sees Shirley starting to come in so she lets Lenny go and slams the door in her face.

Shirley: "Hey!"

Laverne: "You think YOU'RE coming in after what you did to me?" Laverne locks both locks.

Shirley sits down and starts to cry from outside the door.

Laverne hears this and yells "Shut up!"

Shirley: "Laverne, please. If you forget about this and forgive me I'll never TOUCH him again!"

Laverne looks wide eyed. "Really"

Shirley: "Yes"

Laverne opens the door. Shirley gets up, runs in and hugs Laverne.

Shirley: "I'm so sorry."

Laverne, Shirley, and Lenny start to talk and Squiggy bursts through the door.

We hear a faint "Hell-O!" as the picture fades and the end theme song starts to play.

Writen by: Lavenny
Lavenny@aol.com

NO PART OF THIS FANFIC MAY BE USED WITHOUT PERMISSION BY WRITER.