{This is a two-part short story, but I'm working on a long FanFic like my other one, "Amber & Marie". The new FamFic is debuting September 8th.}
Characters:
Leonard "Lenny" Kosnowski
Andrew "Squiggy" Squigmon
Laverne DeFazio
Shirley Feeney
Carmine "The Big Ragoo" Ragusa
Frank DeFazio
Edna Babish
SCENE 1
Outside of the apartment, there is a light shining in the girls' window.
Shirley: (sounds like she doen't like the question she asking...which she don't) "Come on Laverne! Don't you see a point in my reason for all of this fuss?"
Laverne: (dully) "No."
Audience laughs
Closing in on the apartment and we see the girls standing in front of the couch talking. Laverne is wearing her black slacks and her lavender sweater with the "L". Shirley is wearing her black button-up dress.
Shirley: "Why not?"
Laverne: (walking to the kitchen) I don't want to go out with Hicky Hector Kestembaum, he's...he's...i can't say it..hey...(pause)...wait a minute...why do YOU want to go out with him? (gasps) (low voice)You don't like him do you?"
Audience laughs
Shirley: (Taken by suprise) "No! Just think of it this way, if we go out with him once, he'll leave us alone! I mean...he HAD a point before"
Laverne:(pouring Pepsi into the milk and spilling half of it... Shirley shakes her head and goes to get something to wipe up the mess) "Just think of it, you BEGGING me to go out with the guy that steals loose M&M's from the supermarket and hides them in his socks! Now, if he was some kinda nice, sweet, funny, cute guy like..."
LENNY AND SQUIGGY ENTER
Squiggy: "Hello!"
Audience laughs and applauds
Lenny: "FIRE!!!! IN OUR APARTMENT!!!! HELP!!!!
Shirley stops wiping the counter, looks at Laverne, looks at the boys the runs to the phone Laverne, Lenny, and Squiggy all rush out of the apartment and head upstairs.
An hour or two later the fire is out but the only things that are left are: Lenny's Lone Wolf jacket, 3 of Lenny's shirts, 2 pairs of his pants, Jeffery, Squiggy's moth collection, his clarinet, 3 pairs of his pants, and 1 shirt, all need to be washed or cleaned.
Lenny is near tears and Squiggy is shaking his head in disbelief.
Lenny wipes his nose, after that we see that Lenny has a look of deep thought on his face. He turns to Carmine, who is talking to Shirley. Lenny taps Carmine on the shoulder and Carmine turns around.
Carmine: "Yeah, Len?"
Lenny: "Carmine, we have no place to stay...can we stay with you?"
Carmine: "Gee, I wish you could guys but I'm really crowded. I gots Terri Butafucco living with me 'cause her place is bein' bug-bombed."
Audience laughs
Lenny turns around to Frank "How 'bout you?"
Frank looks like he struggling for a good reason for a "no". Squiggy goes over to Lenny
Squiggy: "No, he yells too much."
Frank: (yells) What? Me? Yell? I never yell!!!"
Edna: "You can't stay with me boys, so don't ask."
Lenny & Squiggy: "Why?"
Edna: "'cause the thought of it makes me sick"
Audience laughs
Squiggy: "Oh.."
Laverne whispers something to Shirley and Shirley mouths "no" and shakes her head. Laverne does it anyway.
Laverne: "You can stay with us."
Lenny and Squiggy look at the girls in disbelief.
Squiggy: "Really?!"
Laverne looks at Shirley. Shirley gives in and nods.
Laverne: "yeah"
Lenny and Squiggy kiss Laverne and Shirley and rush out.
Laverne looks dreamily after them.
Audience does it's usual "Whoooo" and applauds.
SCENE TWO: LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY'S APARTMENT - 2:00 A.M.
Lenny and Squiggy are in the living room, sleeping. Lenny is on the couch and Squiggy is curled up in a ball sucking his thumb...on the floor.
All of a sudden we hear Lenny yawn and see him stand up. He scratches his leg and heads to the kitchen. Then we look to the right and see Laverne come outta the bedroom too. She jumps when she sees Lenny at the fridge.
She is gonna scold him for scaring her, but her expression softens.
Laverne: (in her thoughts) "Lenny is actually kinda cute. How'd I miss that? He's crazy about me too. I just never gave him a chance because of that creep"
Laverne looks at Squiggy, who is now snoring and mumbing, and makes a face.
"Lookit that! He even pours the milk into the glass when it 2:00! He DOES have manners! Well, whaddya know? Ya know, the next time Lenny asks you out, SAY YES YOU IDIOT!"
Audience laughs.
"I'm gonna give Lenny a little suprise...he he he he"
Laverne tiptoes up behind Lenny, who is digging in the cupboards, looking for Bosco. Laverne taps him on the shoulder. Lenny jumps a little, then turns around.
No sooner does he stop turning, Laverne gives Lenny a big kiss that seemed like it would never end.
Audience "whoooooo-ooos"
Lenny: "What was that for?"
Laverne looks like she has another one of her "impure" thoughts.
Laverne: "'cause"
Lenny looks puzzled, Laverne kisses him again, this time Lenny is prepared and pushed her away. She looks hurt and confused.
Lenny: "Listen, Laverne, this can't happen..I mean you kissin' me and all, it might get serious. After we get our apartment redone, we'll never pay attention to eachother anymore, then we'll hate eachother.
Laverne: "What?! You'll only live 3 floors up!"
Laverne kisses him again.
Audience "whoooooooooooooos"
Lenny pushes her away.
Lenny: "So? Laverne, don't. I don't want this to happen."
Laverne thinks over what Lenny said and why.
Laverne: "But I do. I know this is so sudden, but I do, Len. I really like you. I might LOVE you in fact."
Lenny: "It doesn't matter. If you want a relationship and I don't....it just won't work. Now stop kissing me, I don't want you to do that no more."
Squiggy stirs and mumbles "Mommy, lookit the moth!"
Lenny looks at him for a minute, then looks up to see Laverne is in the kitchen, mixing milk'n'Pepsi. She finishes and walks past him.
Laverne: "Fine, MISTER Kosnowski. I'll just go my loser way and wander back into the bedroom. Or won't that work out either?"
Lenny: "I didn't say you were a loser"
Laverne: (almost crying) "You might as well! It would've hurt less!"
Lenny looks after her, then plops back down on the couch.
Audience: "Awwwwwwwww"
SCENE THREE - MORNING
Everyone is awake, except Laverne. Shirley ties a bib around Squiggy's neck and plops his oatmeal on the table. Squiggy doesn't bother with his spoon and stuffs his hands right in.
The audience laughs.
Lenny is sitting at the table, gnawing on a piece of toast, thinking.
Shirley is bustling about the kitchen, making her and Lenny's blueberry pancakes.
Shirley: "Ya want a lot of blueberries?"
Lenny: "Yeah"
Shirley: "Oh! I don't have any eggs for the stupid batter. I'll be right back I'm gonna go get some"
Shirley puts on her coat, and goes to the door.
Shirley: "When Laverne wakes up, tell her where I went and I'll be back soon to fix her some eggs after I make the pancakes"
Lenny: "Yeah"
Shirley leaves and Laverne walks outta the bedroom. She goes over to the kitchen, opens the fridge and gets out the milk.
Laverne: "Hey, Squiggy... where's Shirley?"
Lenny: "She went to the store for eggs"
Laverne ignores him.
Laverne: "Squiggy, please? Do you know?"
Squiggy is still busy making a mess, he looks up at Laverne with oatmeal all over his face, even in his hair. "I dunno. Ask Len"
Laverne obviously doesn't like that suggestion so she goes into the bedroom to get dressed and ready for the day. Lenny sighs and puts his chin in his hands, waiting for Shirley.