Well, when we last left off Laverne was... well, actually she wasn't doing anything, and that was the problem. Since I know how anxious you are to read the script I'll get to it :-)

Lenny(calls out into the hall): Doctor!!!

(**NOTE**: I think most of you will like this next part unless you have a real twisted mind)

(Doctor enters)

Doc: Hello, I'm Doctor Meeney.

::audience gasps::

Doc: Doctor Steven Meeney, that is. I have a brother who used to be doctor, Walter, but he had a nervous breakdown. He had a dream that he married a girl named Shirley, and he actually believed it! How nutty is that? He's still in Hospitals though, mental ones. Boy what a weirdo! Ya know...

::audience sighs in relief and laughs at stupid Walter. Yes! He never married Shirley after all. This makes my day, I made it up, I know, oh well!::

Lenny: Do you mind Doctor? We have a crisis here!

Doc: What seems to be the trouble?

Lenny: You figure it out you're the doctor!!!

Doc: Calm down, sir, now let me just have a looksy... (Lenny groans. This guy is treating it as if it's a flu bug!!!) Oh my gosh! We need to rush this girl into surgery right away! Her heart stopped!

Lenny: At her age?

Doc: Your heart can stop as long as you've got a heart!

Lenny: So she's got one, huh?

::everyone rolls eyes::

Doc: We've got to get her heart started again pronto!

(There is the rush of things like on any show where a fast surgery is done {ie: ER}. Once again everyone is on pins and needles in the waiting room.)

Fonzie: This is enough to make a guy nutso! Even someone as cool as myself.

Richie: I know. I wish we knew who was driving that car... Boy would I give them a piece of my mind!

Ralph: It's probably better we don't know, Fonzie would kill them, and you'd be yelling "bucko" so loud the people on the next island could hear it. Speaking of hearing I...

Richie: Pardon us if we aren't amused, Ralph, I mean, do you know what is happening here? Carmine is in Shirley's room waiting to find out the results about her, mom is crying, dad is wearing a hole in the floor, Lenny whimpers everytime he sees an "L" on a sign, and Squiggy stopped making those stupid sounds hours ago!

Ralph: Sorry, Rich, jokes are how I deal with stuff. I still remember the first thing Laverne said to me. "Staring? How'd you like your eyes closed for good, heh?". Sure, not exactly complimentary, but still...

Richie, Ralph, and Fonzie keep talking to pass the time, everyone else is sitting in silence ('cept Howard, he's pacing).

Meanwhile...

Carmine had just gone out into the waiting room and everyone told him what was going on. He's just returned to Shirley's room.

Carmine: Shirl?

Shirley(weakly): How's Vernie?

Carmine: Not too good, Shirl.

Shirley(sits up with a start and winces): How bad is "not too good"?

Carmine: Well, she had a... well... her heart stopped. She's in surgery now.

Shirley: Oh Carmine, it's all my fault, it's my fault for pressuring her to go to Hawaii in the first place...

Carmine: It's not your fault Shirl. I mean, that's just fate, ya know? The nurse said that someone suffering a trauma like that could experience that in rare cases.

Shirley: Will she...

Carmine: Not if they have anything to say about it.

Shirley: I don't know what I'd do without her...

(If this was a real episode there would be a series of clips to a Beatles song, so just hum "Yesterday" and picture a few of these scenes)

Laverne and Shirley are singing the Abba dabba song on roller skates, Laverne pouring a glass of milk and Pepsi and spilling it on Shirley, Laverne and Shirley both standing in front of a bunch of bass in their slips, singing "Da do run run" as the Rosebuds, Laverne clinging to the pole outside Fabian's room, Shirley by her side, All the DeFazio' etc. climbing the greased pole in the festival, everyone dressed as Alice in Wonderland characters while Shirley is having her appendix out, Laverne breaking the skeleton when they go to nightschool, and finally L&S making "The pact"

An hour later everyone is gathered in Shirley's room...

Doctor Steven Meeney comes out.

Doc: Well everyone, I just wanted to tell you all at once-