A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Amateur Hour

Written by: Scott McClenny

Scene:The girls' apartment,Milwaukee.Laverne is on her knees,blowing into the vacuum cleaner.

Shirley.Come on Laverne,we need to get the downbeat a bit faster if we're gonna win the contest!

Laverne.I"m gettin' dizzy Shirl',why can't you play the vacuum cleaner?

Shirley.We went through that already!

Laverne.AAAAAHHHHHH!(makes face).

The door opens and in walks Rhonda dressed as an 1890s songbird.

Rhonda.Hi-dee-oh,Rhonda here!

The girls look at each other confused.

Laverne.This is the fourth season,you ain't s'pposed to be around until we move in the sixth season.

Rhonda.But Lenny told me about the Amateur Talent Contest,I wanted to play Saint Saens 'Carnival Of Animals' on my trumpet.

Shirley.That's nice,why dontcha save it for season seven? (escorts her to the door)

Laverne.But Shirl' you ain't here for season seven!

Shirley.Back to that downbeat Laverne.

Just as they begin again the door opens again and in walks Chrissy still in her nightgown followed by Jack and Janet.

Shirley.I beg your pardon,but aren't you on the wrong show?

Jack & Janet.SSSSSHHT!

Laverne(whispers).What's going on?

Jack.Chrissy's sleep walking again.

Janet.We've followed her all the way from Santa Monica.

Shirley.Well that explains why she's so hungry,look!

Laverne.My Scooter Pie!

The girls help Jack and Janet escort Chrissy still munching on the Scooter Pie out the door.

Laverne.I wonder what else is gonna happen next?

Shirley.Never mind that,let's get back to rehearshal.

Laverne.Shirl' you sure you ain't part Prussian?

To be cont'd?

To Part 2

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