"You sure you’re okay to drive, Len?" Carmine asked.
"Yeah, sure, fine," said Lenny, shifting uncomfortably in his car seat. "Why, you volunteering?"
A fleeting smile crossed Carmine’s face. "That probably wouldn’t work so well now, would it?"
Lenny looked over at the curly-haired man sitting beside him. Carmine was fidgeting, drumming his fingers on the car door. His gaze was utterly blank. "Still nothin’?" Len asked.
"Just some flashes of light. But, no, mostly nothing."
"Well, we’re almost at the hospital," Lenny said. "I’m sure someone there will be able to figure out what’s wrong."
"Yeah. Sure," Carmine said. He didn’t sound convinced.
"Carmine?"
"Yeah, Len?"
"Don’t you think you should have told Shirley where you were goin’? I mean, I’m sure she would’ve taken you…not that I mind or nothing."
Carmine sighed. "I just want to find out what’s going on first, Lenny. That way, when I tell her, I can hopefully say it’s all taken care of."
Lenny nodded, pulling into the parking lot. Then he said, "You really goin’ to tell her?"
"Sure. Sure I will. I mean, I might not have a choice here, Len. I think she’ll notice if I’m…if I can’t see," said Carmine.
"You haven’t told her so far," Lenny reminded him.
Carmine turned toward him, but his eyes remained unfocused. "What are you implying, Len?"
"Nothing, nothing. Except maybe that I’m guessing this has been comin’ on for awhile, but you kept it to yourself. I’d a thought you’d learned your lesson from what went on between Laverne and me."
Lenny parked the car, got out gingerly, then walked around to help Carmine out. He wished he hadn’t left his cane back at the apartment. He put Carmine’s hand on his arm and led the young man into the hospital.
"I know what you’re saying, Len," Carmine finally responded. "It’s just that…I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. At first, I thought it was just some aftereffects from the fall. The doctor warned me that there’d be headaches and blurred vision on and off for awhile."
"It’s been kind of a long while now, hasn’t it?"
"Yeah, okay, I guess so. But I never had everything just…go…like this before. It was always just a quick flash or blurring, then it cleared up."
"Did you even tell the doctor what was happening?" asked Lenny. He led Carmine over to a waiting area, then dropped into a seat beside him with a grunt.
Carmine tugged at a stray curl. "Not really."
"As in no?" asked Lenny.
"Right. As in no." Carmine was quiet for a moment. "I had enough with doctors and hospitals, Len. Enough for a lifetime. I just wanted it to be done with, you know?"
Lenny nodded, then remembered that Carmine couldn’t see him. "I know. Believe me, I know."
"Mr. Ragusa?" said a nurse, walking over to them. She was pushing a wheelchair.
Carmine raised his head, turning toward the direction of her voice. "Right here," he said.
"Come with me, please," she said. "The doctor will see you now."
"Yay," he replied.
The nurse helped him into the wheelchair. Lenny watched. Carmine looks so miserable, he thought. "Hey, you want me to come in there with you?"
"No, no thanks, Len. I’ll see you in a few minutes," Carmine said. He paused, then said, "At least, I hope I will."
Lenny chuckled.
"Len? One more thing," said Carmine, as the nurse began to push him away.
"What is it?"
"Please don’t call Shirley," Carmine said.
"Carmine…"
"Please! Not yet. Not until I know…something. Okay?"
Lenny sighed. "Right, Carmine. No problemo."
About a half an hour later, Lenny was squirming in his seat as though it were on fire. He wished he could pace, but that just made everything ache more. Maybe I should’ve hung on to one or two of those painkillers, he thought. He picked up the magazine he’d been trying to read, but found himself reading the same line over and over again. Finally, he tossed it down and slowly rose to his feet to stare out the window.
"Hey, Len," said a voice from behind.
Lenny turned around. Carmine was standing behind him. Looking straight at him.
"Say, you can see me, can’t you?" said Lenny, relieved. "Wow, that doctor’s good!"
Carmine smiled at him. He looked relieved, as well. "Yeah, well, don’t give him too much credit. I was just lying there while they did the CAT scan and, bam! Everything came back into focus again."
"Just like that?"
"Yeah. Pretty strange, huh?" Carmine walked over to the window, looking out at the world as though he’d never seen it before. He tapped the glass absently.
"Now what? You just go home?"
Carmine shrugged. "I guess so. They’re supposed to call me with the results in a day or two. In the meantime, I’m not supposed to drive or operate heavy machinery." He laughed a little. "There goes my plan to become a forklift driver."
Lenny looked at him, confused. "I thought you were gonna do that physical therapy thing?"
"A joke, Len," said Carmine. "Just a joke."
"Oh."
They headed out to the parking lot, got back into Lenny’s car, and headed home.
"So," said Lenny. "Do they have any idea what the problem is yet?"
Carmine shook his head. "Nope. I mean, they said something about possible swelling or other…damage." He stared out the window.
Lenny said nothing. That sounds bad, he thought.
As they pulled into their apartment complex, Carmine suddenly said, "What if I’m dying?"
"What? Don’t say that!" scolded Lenny.
Carmine shrugged. "What if I am, though? What would I tell Shirley? She’s so gung ho about this wedding…"
"Carmine, I think if you were…what you just said…she would care a little more about that than about the wedding."
Carmine nodded. "Oh, I know. It’s just…Len, I don’t know what to do now. Do I tell her I changed my mind or something, before she gets hurt? I mean, I can’t let her get her hopes up if it isn’t gonna happen for us anymore."
Lenny parked, then shifted carefully in his seat to face Carmine. "Are you insane? If Shirl’s hopes were any higher right now, she’d be floatin’ over the building there!"
"Good point. But how can I lead her on? I have to tell her something. Don’t I?"
"Yes, you do. Tell her the truth. Remember the truth, Carmine? That thing you were yellin’ at me about just the other day?"
"Yeah, Len. I remember. You’re right." He sighed, heavily. "I just don’t want to hurt her, is all. And this might hurt. A lot."
"Carmine, first of all, a little screwed-up vision doesn’t mean you’re dying. I mean, look at you! I’ve seen you go at it at the gym. A dyin’ guy doesn’t have that kind of energy." At least I don’t think he does, Lenny added to himself. He shook his head, trying to chase away his negative thoughts.
"I do feel fine," admitted Carmine. "Except for my eyesight. I haven’t even had a bad headache in almost two months now."
"So, there you go. I think Shirl has you watchin’ too many soap operas, Carmine." Lenny got out of the car. Carmine followed him.
As they walked into the building, Carmine said, "Okay, so what do I say to her?"
"You’re askin’ me? I can hardly talk for myself, Carmine."
"Oh, you don’t give yourself enough credit, Len," said Carmine. "You’ve got a lot more goin’ on upstairs than you think."
Lenny was touched. He’d always respected Carmine, and hearing that the guy thought that he was worth something made Lenny almost believe it, too. "Well, thanks, Carmine. Okay, let’s see. Maybe you should just tell her that your eyes have been bothering you and you went to the doctor, and now you’re waiting to find out what’s wrong."
"That’s it?" asked Carmine.
"Sure. Why say anything else? I mean, you’re the one comin’ up with the bleak outcome. Why scare her if there’s no reason?"
Carmine nodded. "I guess you’re right. I just don’t want to saddle Shirl with a husband who isn’t gonna stick around."
"So what? You’re gonna break her heart now, and find out in a few days that there was no reason for it? You do that, and I will believe you got brain damage."
Carmine laughed. "Yeah, you know? You’re right, Len. I think I’ve been hangin’ around the girls too long. They always seem to make things a lot more complicated that they have to be. I’ll just be straight with Shirley and let the chips fall where they may."
They reached Laverne and Shirley’s apartment. Carmine turned and gave Len a gentle punch in the shoulder. "Thanks, Lenny. For the lift and…for everything." Then he knocked his knock on the door.
"Think nothing of it," said Lenny, turning and facing the stairs up. He paused. There were so darn many of them. "Maybe I’ll hang out outside a little bit. It’s a nice day."
When the phone rang, Shirley nearly jumped out of her skin.
"Calm down, Angel Face," said Carmine. "I’ll get it."
They were sitting in his apartment. It had been three days since Carmine’s visit to the hospital and they were still waiting for his test results. Carmine walked over to the phone, then stopped and stared at it.
"Carmine? Carmine, are you having another episode?" Shirley asked, concerned. She hurried over to his side.
He smiled at her, nervously. "No, Shirl," he said. "I’m just…I’m not sure if I want to hear this."
She took his hand. "We’ll hear it together," she told him softly.
Carmine nodded, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and picked up the receiver.
Shirley stood, listening, her hand never loosening its grip on his. After a minute or two of ‘yessing’ and ‘I seeing’ on Carmine’s part, he hung up.
"Was that?"
"Yeah, it was the doctor’s." He took a deep breath and smiled at her. "I’m fine," he said.
She looked at him, afraid to believe what she was hearing. "You are?"
"Yes. I’m fine." He shook his head. "I can’t believe it either. There’s no swelling, no bruising, no nothing. I’m perfectly healthy."
"Carmine, that’s wonderful!" Shirley hugged him tightly.
He didn’t say anything.
"It is wonderful, isn’t it?" she asked, pushing him back a little and looking up at him. "I mean, you are telling me the truth…"
"Oh, yeah, Shirl. Absolutely." He leaned in and gave her a reassuring kiss. "I wouldn’t lie about something like that."
"Then what?"
"Exactly." Carmine walked around and flopped back onto the couch. "What is it? I mean, a guy doesn’t just go blind every so often for no reason."
Shirley shrugged, taking a seat beside him. "Well, I don’t know, Carmine. Did the doctor suggest anything?"
He looked away for a moment. "Yeah, but it…it’s ridiculous."
"What? What’s ridiculous?"
Carmine turned back to her, drumming his fingers on the arm of the sofa. "He thought it might be, you know, all in my head."
"Carmine, I thought they just settled that."
"No. No, I don’t mean, something damaged in my head. I mean," and he tapped his forehead for emphasis. "In my head. As in I’m nuts or something."
Shirley cocked her head to one side. "What?"
With a sigh, Carmine said, "The doctor thought that maybe it was stress or something. Except that’s stupid."
"Well, why is that stupid, Carmine? I mean, you have been under a lot of stress lately, what with school and work and the wedding." Shirley bowed her head. "I guess I haven’t helped, either, what with the endless planning and all."
"Aw, Angel Face, you’ve been great!" he told her, putting an arm around her shoulders. "You don’t give me stress. This is all just silly, anyway. I’ve always had a lot goin’ on in my life, you know that. Why would it suddenly make me go blind now?"Carmine shook his head. "The only one crazy here is the doctor."
"Are you sure? I mean, not about being nuts, I know you aren’t. I mean, are you sure that the doctor’s wrong?"
"He’s gotta be, Shirl," Carmine assured her, glancing at his watch. "I’m going to the gym now. I’m late."
"Okay, sweetie," she said, giving him a farewell hug. "See you later?"
"Count on it!" he said, whisking out the door.
She stared at the door for a while after he left. Then she plopped back down on the sofa, folded her hands, and sat there for a long time.
"So, you’re gonna live. Ouch! Congratulations, " managed Lenny between bench presses.
"Yeah. Go figure," said Carmine, standing behind to spot him.
"You. Should. Be. Happier. About. It."
"I am, Len. Only…"
"What?"
"Only, the other stuff the doctor said. I know he’s wrong, but it’s still bugging me that he said it."
"Car. Mine. Can. We. Stop. Now?" gasped Lenny. He wanted to talk, but didn’t have enough air for weight lifting and conversation.
"Huh? Oh, sure. Take ten, Len."
Lenny sat up, carefully. He reached for a towel to mop the perspiration off his face. "You know, Carmine, there may be a little somethin’ to what the doctor told you."
"So you think I’m a lunatic?" asked Carmine.
"No, I don’t think you’re a lunatic." Lenny shook his arms, trying to stretch his aching muscles. "It’s just that my father had a problem, you know, after he came back from the war."
"Really? I hardly remember your dad, Len. What sort of problem?"
"Yeah, well, you know how my mom left us and all? She didn’t just do that for the heck of it." Lenny looked at the floor. He didn’t like thinking about these things.
"I’m sure she didn’t Len. What, did your dad hit her or something?" asked Carmine.
"No! No, it wasn’t nothin’ like that. He just had trouble…I don’t know, talkin’ to us. Keepin’ a job. Just dealing with everyday life." Lenny shrugged. "It had somethin’ to do with what he went through in the war, but he never talked about it to no one."
"So? I mean, that’s a shame and all, Len, but what does it have to do with me?"
"Well, you didn’t have any problem with your eyes before the earthquake, did you?"
"No," said Carmine slowly. "Then again, I never fell twenty-odd feet onto my head before, either."
"Yeah, true. But the doctor said everything’s okay up there, physically, right?" said Lenny, tapping Carmine on the side of the head.
Carmine slapped his hand away. "Right."
"So, maybe its just the whole, you know, almost dyin’ and being buried alive that’s the problem."
"Maybe being buried alive with you," said Carmine, jokingly. He turned thoughtful. "I don’t know, Len. I think about that day a lot, whether I want to or not, but it isn’t like I think about it and…bam…I stop seeing."
"Well, what else is there?" asked Lenny.
"Beats me." Carmine walked to the front of the bench and offered Lenny a hand up. "Your ten minutes are up. Time for sit ups."
"Oh, please, may I?" said Lenny, sarcastically. He went to grasp Carmine’s arm, but found his hand was shaking. Both men paused and looked at it.
"How’s it going, Len?" asked Carmine.
Lenny shrugged. "Some days are a little tough," he admitted. "I didn’t realize how used to those pills I was. But I haven’t gotten anymore. Honest Injun."
"I believe you."
Lenny stood up slowly and followed Carmine around the gym equipment. "Anyway, Laverne’s been doin’ a good job at distracting me."
"I’ll be she has, Len."
Lenny laughed. "Yeah, that too. But, I mean with wedding plans. Shirl’s got her on this whole kick about red roses versus pink roses and…"
He broke off as Carmine walked straight into a punching bag.
"Ow!" said Carmine, backing away, his hand over his nose.
"You okay?" asked Len.
Carmine nodded, his eyes watering. "Yeah, I think so. Who put that there?"
"Um, it’s always been there, Carmine," said Lenny.
"Oh."
"You didn’t see it just then, did you?"
Carmine felt his nose again. Seemingly reassured that it was where it belonged, he replied, "No. It kind of faded out there for a second." He glared at the punching bag, then gave it a sock with his right hand. "It’s back now."
"Carmine?"
"Yeah, Len?"
"Maybe the doctor isn’t so wrong about the stress problem. Maybe he was just wrong about the source."
Carmine didn’t answer him for a moment. He rested a hand against the punching bag, tappng his fingertips on it.
"You think?" Carmine said, after a few moments of drumming.
"I think," said Lenny.
"Maybe I should do somethin’ about it then."
"Maybe."
Carmine closed his eyes. "I hate shrinks. I don’t believe in ‘em."
"Do you want to marry Shirley?" asked Lenny, quietly.
Carmine opened his eyes and met Lenny’s gaze. "Of course I do. You know I do."
"Well, then."
Carmine looked up at the ceiling of the gym. "Fine," he said. Then he looked back at Lenny. "Fine. Okay. I’ll go see a shrink. It’s a waste of time and money that I don’t have, but…fine."
"Carmine?" said Lenny, digging into the pocket of his sweatpants.
"Yeah?"
"Use mine," he said, handing the young man a card.
Carmine looked at it. Then he looked at Lenny. This is so embarrassing, Lenny thought. "I told you, some days are a little tough."
Carmine nodded. "Okay, Len. Thanks."
"Laverne, I have the answer," said Shirley. Then, "Whoops! Sorry, I’ll come back later."
Lenny and Laverne raised their heads, pulling slightly apart. "No, Shirl, that’s okay," said Laverne.
"Yeah," agreed Lenny. "We was just…um…just…um…"
"You know," said Laverne, blushing.
"Yes. I know," said Shirley. She cautiously entered her apartment. "You can lock this door, you know."
"If you would remember your keys, I would," said Laverne. She made room for Shirley on the sofa. "What do you have the answer to?"
"What? Oh, that. I can tell you later," said Shirley.
"It’s okay. Whatever it is, you can say it in front of Len. We don’t have any secrets from each other." Laverne looked back at him, lovingly.
Lenny looked at her, mesmerized by her big, beautiful eyes. I can’t believe she’s here with me, he said to himself for about the hundredth time that day, alone. It still didn’t seem possible, even with her warm, soft body next to his.
Shirley looked at them with a little smile, then said, "Okay, then. I think I’ve found a way to get rid of all that stress Carmine has."
"What’s that, Shirley?" asked Lenny.
She held up a box of wedding invitations. "These!" she exclaimed.
Lenny looked at the box, then at her. "I don’t think so," he said, finally.
"No, you don’t understand," said Shirley. She dug out one of the invitations. "You see this? This is for his parents."
Lenny looked at it. He looked at Laverne, who shrugged. "I still don’t get it," he said.
"Me, neither," said Laverne.
Shirley sighed. "I think that Carmine’s worried that his parents won’t come. You know, they’ve been estranged for a long time now. I tracked them down and it looks like they are still living in that same rowhouse in Milwaukee where he grew up. I’m going to send their invitation early, with an early RSVP, so that he’ll know they are coming!"
Laverne shook her head. "I don’t see how that’s going to help, Shirl."
"Don’t you understand? Once he knows that his folks do care, and that they’ll be here for him, he’ll feel better about the whole wedding thing. He’ll be able to look forward to it without, you know, going blind every so often."
Lenny was still puzzled. "How do you know they’ll come, Shirl?" he asked. "I mean, I kind of remember Carmine’s old man. He wasn’t exactly the outgoing sort."
"Yeah," said Laverne. "There was a reason my Pop had Carmine over for dinner every weekend when we were in high school. I don’t think he and his dad liked each other too much."
"What are you saying, Laverne? Of course Carmine’s father likes him! He’s his only son. How do you not like your own son? Besides, that was all a long time ago. Maybe if Carmine made his peace with his folks, he’d feel better about getting married and having kids of his own."
"Still," said Laverne, carefully. "How do you know the Ragusas will show? We’re a long way from Milwaukee.
"Ah, good point, Vernie," said Shirley. "I’ve got it all planned. I’ve been saving money in my wedding account for years…I mean, for a while now, and I’m going to use some of it to fly them out here. So it won’t cost them a thing. A free trip to California, to see their only son get married to the woman of his dreams? How could they say no?"
Lenny and Laverne looked at each other, again. "I guess," said Lenny.
Shirley was already on her feet, licking the envelope. "I’ll be at the mailbox. You’ll see, this will make it all better!" With that, she disappeared out the door.
"You think she’s right?" asked Laverne, leaning her head against Lenny’s chest.
He stroked her hair. "I don’t know. What do you think?"
"I don’t know. I guess it can’t hurt anything."
"No. No, probably not."
"I mean, it is his parents. How many parents does a person have?"
"Not enough," said Lenny, thoughtfully. Then, he said, "You know what I mean."
"Yeah, I do. I mean, I’d give anything if Mamma could see us tie the knot," said Laverne.
"Me, too. My mamma, I mean." Lenny couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a big mistake about to happen. He stood up, gingerly.
"Where are you going?" asked Laverne, sounding disappointed.
Lenny smiled at her, reaching down to caress her face. "Not far," he said. "I’ve got to talk to your Pop for a little while. Do you know where he is?"
"At home, I guess. Since he got all that insurance money for Cowboy Bill’s, he’s just been staying around the house, working in the garden."
"Sounds nice," said Len. "I’ll see you later?"
She smiled up at him. "You bet your sweet patootie you will."
Lenny walked up to Mr. DeFazio’s door and gave it a hard rap. Edna answered.
"Why, Leonard. How nice to see you." She almost sounded like she meant it.
"Hi, Mrs. Bab…I mean, Mrs. DeFazio. Gosh, you think I’d be used to that by now." Lenny peered through the doorway behind her. "Is Mr. DeFazio in?"
"He’s out back, weeding around the tomatoes. You can go through the gate."
"Thanks." Lenny turned away and walked around to the back of the house. He was using his cane today. It stuck in the mud, leaving a trail of little holes in the ground behind him.
"Watch where you’re steppin’!" yelled a gruff voice as he entered.
"Sorry," said Lenny, carefully walking around a row of flowers.
"Oh, Lenny, it’s you. Come on over," said Frank, lowering his voice. Ever since the earthquake, his demeanor toward Lenny had changed. Lenny couldn’t decide if he was more comfortable with Mr. DeFazio-who-called-him-an-idiot-all-the-time, or Mr. DeFazio-who-felt-guilty-that-he-got-hurt-rescuing-him.
"I don’t wanna get in your way if you’re busy," said Lenny. "But I need a couple minutes of your time to talk."
"So talk," said Frank, brushing the dirt off his gardening gloves. "What do you need?"
"It’s not about me, Mr. DeFazio. It’s about Carmine."
"Carmine? What about him?"
"Well, you know how we all pretty much grew up together and went to school together, and stuff. I mean, your daughter and me and Shirl and Squig…we’ve known each other a long time now."
"Yes, right, right," said Frank.
"Yeah, but we don’t necessarily know that much about each other’s families. I mean, we knew them, like when we went over to play at each other’s houses, but we didn’t really know know them."
"You’re losing me, Len," said Frank.
Lenny sighed. He wasn’t sure where he was going with this himself. "What I mean is, Carmine and I knew each other all the way through high school, but we weren’t exactly what you’d call buddies. Mostly, he’d ignore me, or laugh when someone else beat me up for my milk money. But now, we’re kinda friends, especially since…you know."
"Yeah, I know, Lenny. So you want to help your friend with something. What is it?"
"The only thing I know about Carmine’s parents is what he’s told me, which isn’t much. I know his mom had some…problems…and he didn’t get along with his dad. I know he left home right after high school ended and he never went back. What I don’t know is…why?"
Frank stood up. He folded his hands together in front of him, and stared at them as though looking into something very far away. "So why do you want to know this now?"
"Because Shirley’s trying to do something to help Carmine and I’m afraid just the opposites gonna happen," Lenny said. "I’m kind of hoping you’ll tell me that I’m being a nervous Nellie for no reason."
"What’s Shirley doing?"
"Well, I guess she already did it. She sent an invite to the wedding to Carmine’s parents."
"Oh, is that all?" asked Frank, with a short laugh. "No problem, don’t worry about it."
"Really?" said Lenny, relieved.
"Yeah, no problem. They’ll never come."
Lenny looked at him. "Huh?"
"They’ll never come. So don’t worry about it. Here, have some tomatoes." Frank gestured to the half-filled bucket at his feet.
"No…I mean, yeah, thanks, maybe later. What do you mean, they’ll never come. Isn’t Carmine their only kid?"
"Yeah, thank God. The only thing those two ever did right," said Frank.
"So how is it good that they won’t go to their own, only kid’s wedding?"
"Because," said Frank. "Carmine won’t have to see them again. Ever. And that’s no loss, believe me."
Lenny shook his head, slowly. "You’re losing me, Mr. DeFazio. I just don’t see how knowing your parents don’t care enough about you to come to your wedding will be good for Carmine."
Frank sighed, heavily. "It’s nothin’ that will come as a surprise to the boy. Even if they showed up, by some miracle, it would just ruin his day. Especially that father of his." Frank spit on the ground. "A bigger bastard I never met."
"Really?"
"Really, son," said Frank. "Tony Ragusa was a real piece of work. I knew him, way back when we worked in the factory together. Treated his boy like dirt, and his wife worse than that."
"I can’t hardly believe this," said Lenny. "Carmine’s such a nice guy."
"Yeah, well, he takes after his mother. At least, the way Marie used to be, before…" Frank stopped himself.
Lenny nodded. "I know, Mr. DeFazio. Carmine told me and Squig a little about it."
"That’s a surprise," said Frank. "I didn’t think he’d mention that to anyone, except maybe Shirley."
Maybe everyone but Shirley, thought Lenny. Everyone but the one person who needed to know. "I gotta go, Mr. DeFazio. Thanks, though, for your time…and the tomatoes. I’ll pick ‘em up when Laverne and I come over for dinner tomorrow."
"Sure, sure, they’ll be here," said Frank, waving to him as he left.
Lenny walked back to his car, trying to stop his hands from shaking. The pain was shooting down his legs again. He sank into the front seat of his car, waiting for it all to pass so he could drive home. "I’ve got to warn Carmine about what Shirley did," he decided. "It’s for his…their…own good."
"Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me," said Carmine. He held his head in his hands, then banged it on the table.
"Careful," said Lenny.
"Believe me, this doesn’t hurt half as much as seeing my folks again would. She didn’t…aw, she did, didn’t she? And she sent them money to come, too? Awwwww!" Carmine buried his face in his arms.
At least he stopped trying to break the table with his head, thought Lenny. "I figured I needed to warn you, just in case they showed," said Lenny.
Carmine sat back in his chair with a sigh. "They won’t. I mean, they probably won’t. Why would they? I should have told Shirley right out not to invite them. I never suspected that she would go to this much effort to get them to come! Why, Len? Why would she do this?"
"Because she thought she was helping you, Carmine! She figured that you were worried they wouldn’t come, and that’s why you were, you know, having all that trouble with your eyes. You should have told her that the problem was you were afraid they would come."
Carmine stared at the remains of his lunch, then pushed it away. He missed, and nearly pushed Lenny’s sandwich onto his lap.
"Whoa, watch it there," warned Lenny, grabbing the plate.
"Oh, sorry, Len. Didn’t…didn’t see it." Carmine closed his eyes, tightly. "Dammit, not again," he muttered.
"Carmine, it’s okay," said Lenny. "You said yourself they won’t come."
"Yeah, but that was before she sent them money. A free trip to California? My old man wouldn’t pass that up. He’s never been anywhere but his own, cement square of a backyard." Carmine’s eyes were blank, but his statement was a mixture of sorrow and, maybe, just a little fear.
"Boy, you really don’t like your old man, do you Carmine?" Lenny whispered.
"No. I really don’t, Len." Carmine didn’t look up.
"What about your mom, though? Wouldn’t it be nice to see her again?" Lenny couldn’t imagine someone not wanting to see their mom. He’d give anything to see his again. Even Squiggy, who’s mother mostly shoved him in a closet when he misbehaved, seemed to miss his mom.
Carmine swallowed. "Maybe, Len. I don’t know. She really wasn’t my mother when I left." He looked up at Lenny. "When I was a little kid, Len, I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the whole world," he said, softly. "She was small and a little round, with the kindest brown eyes and all these long, dark curls. She used to tug on them when she was worried about something. I remember…she did a lot of tugging. She used to spend all day, making pasta from scratch, taking in neighbors’ sewing. She was a really good seamstress, did I ever tell you that?"
"No. You never really mentioned her much," said Lenny.
Carmine continued as if he hadn’t heard him. "And her voice. What a beautiful singing voice she had. She really could have done something with that. But it was the sewing that brought in a little extra change. Enough to help keep food in the house.
"My father…my father would come home at night after stopping at the bar with the guys. He hated working in the factory. Absolutely hated it. He said he had to stop at the bar every night just to stomach the fact they he’d have to go back to that factory the next day." Carmine paused, shaking his head slowly at the memory.
"Go on," said Lenny, gently.
Carmine shrugged. "What is there to say, Len? He came home and he yelled at my mother to get dinner on the table. He yelled at her because the house wasn’t clean enough. He yelled at her because I did something wrong. It never stopped. And when he wasn’t yelling, he was…"
"He was?"
Carmine shook his head, sharply. "He was a son of a bitch, that’s what he was, Len. He wrecked my poor mother. He did her so much damage that the doctor gave her some pills to help out. Some to give her more energy, so she could keep up with the house and the sewing and taking care of me. Some to relieve the pain after Dad…had a bad night. After awhile, she had a regular pharmacy in her room. Over time, she just stopped caring."
"About what?"
"About everything. About me. About anything that wasn’t in a little plastic bottle." Carmine banged his hand down on the table. "I thought I was done with it, Len! And now…"
Lenny hesitated. "I wish I knew what to say, here, Carmine. I mean, I never saw any of this. At school, you were…well, you always acted like everything was fine. You hung out with the jocks, got along well with most everybody, didn’t do too bad in class…"
"I had to, Len," said Carmine. "I had to do it all right. ‘Cause whatever I did wrong my father took out on my mom. I had to do just what he said, the way he said, or he made her suffer for it.
Carmine laughed, but there was no humor in his voice. "You shoulda heard him when I told him I liked to dance. He almost put me through a wall. ‘No boy of mine is gonna be a sissy,’ he told me. So I took up boxing. But I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. If I wanted to do what I loved, what I was really good at, I’d have to do what my mom couldn’t. And that was get up and leave. Get as far away from Tony Ragusa as possible, and never go back."
"Yeah, but, you were still in the same town," Lenny reminded him.
Carmine nodded. "Well, I got as far as twenty-five dollars in my pocket could take me. He didn’t try to contact me after I left the house and I stayed away from him…it was good enough."
"So, what are you going to do now, Carmine?" asked Lenny.
Carmine tugged at his hair. "I don’t know. I just don’t know." He looked back at Lenny. "Are you sure that Shirley sent out that invitation already?"
"I think so," said Lenny.
"But you aren’t certain."
"I’m pretty sure…"
"Well, maybe there’s still a chance." Carmine stood up so fast he nearly knocked his chair over. "I’ve got to get over there." He started to run toward the door, but slammed into the wall of the restaurant instead.
Lenny sighed, got to his feet slowly, and walked over to Carmine. The young man was sitting on the floor, a stunned look on his face. "Need a ride?" he offered, reaching down to help Carmine to his feet.
"Yeah, that’d be nice, Len," said Carmine, his hand pressed against his forehead. "Thanks."
"Think nothin’ of it," said Lenny.
When they arrive at Laverne and Shirley’s apartment, Carmine all but kicked the door in. "Shirley? Shirley are you there? Open up!"
Laverne pulled open the door. "Geeze, Carmine, lighten up on the door!" she said. "What’d it ever do to you?"
"Where’s Shirley?" asked Carmine, frantically.
"Laverne, did Shirley send out that invite to Carmine’s parents yet?" Lenny asked.
"Wellll," said Laverne. "Not exactly."
Carmine heaved a sigh. "Oh, thank God," he said.
"After you left, Len, she decided to do something else," said Laverne, looking at Carmine curiously.
"What’d she do?" asked Lenny, putting his arms around his girl.
"She decided to hand deliver it."
Carmine leaned back against the apartment door. Hard. "What did you say?" he breathed.
"She…Carmine, are you okay?"
"Laverne," said Lenny, a gentle urgency in his voice. "Where is Shirley?"
"At the airport, by now," said Laverne. "She decided to max out her credit card and hop a plane to Milwaukee. She’s going to your parents’ house, Carmine, to deliver their invitation in person." Laverne watched as a stricken look crossed Carmine’s face. "Surprise?" she said, uncertainly.
Carmine banged the back of his head against the door. "Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no," he repeated over and over.
Lenny quickly walked over and slipped a hand between Carmine’s head and the door. "Stop that," he said, "You’re gonna addle yourself!"
Carmine slumped down in front of the door. He stared at a spot on the rug, shaking his head slowly from side to side. "What am I gonna do, Len?" he finally said. "This is a disaster. I can’t let Shirley meet my father. I kept her from meeting him back in high school for a reason, and now…" He buried his face in his hands.
Laverne looked down at the distraught man. She took Lenny’s hand and pulled him over to her side. "Does he need a straitjacket?" she asked, only half-kidding.
"No," said Lenny. "Maybe a stiff belt of whisky, though." Lenny thought for a moment, then said, "How long ago did Shirley leave for the airport?"
Laverne glanced at her watch. "Oh, Len, it must be at least an hour now."
"Aaaaarrrgggh," said Carmine from the floor.
"Yeah, but with traffic…we might still be able to catch up," Lenny said. He reached down, grabbing Carmine by the arm, and tugged. A stab of pain almost convinced him to stop that, but he gritted his teeth against it. "Come on, Carmine. Get up!"
"Why, Len?" Carmine muttered. "What’s the point? Shirley’s off to hang out with mom and dad. What a happy meeting that’ll be."
"Cut it out and stand up! We might still be able to stop her!"
Carmine looked up at him. "Really? You think?"
"I think, unless you want to spend the rest of your life quivering on the floor. Now, come on!"
Carmine sprang to his feet, nearly bowling Lenny over. "You’re right, Len!" he said. "We might still be able to keep this from happening. Let’s go!" He started to charge toward the doorway, but Lenny reached out and grabbed the back of his jacket.
"What is it? I thought we were in a hurry?" asked Carmine, looking back at him.
Lenny pointed to the doorframe Carmine was just about to barrel into.
"Oh. Thanks, Len."
"Yeah, maybe we should try walkin’ until your vision is all cleared up," said Lenny, turning Carmine by the shoulders and giving him a little push through the open door.
"Good idea."
Lenny looked back at Laverne. She shook her head. "I’m completely lost here, Len," she said. "What the heck is going on?"
"I’ll tell you later, Vernie," he said, giving her a kiss. She felt so good in his arms, he didn’t want to let her go. But he did. "Tell your Pop I’m sorry I missed dinner. I’ll call you tonight!"
"From where?" asked Laverne, as he hurried through the door after Carmine.
"Milwaukee!" he called back.