(© OldTimeFan, 3/12/2002. Category: Drama. This is a follow-up story to The Big One, told in three parts. In this, Part I, we see how our friends are faring after their ordeal. Some appear to be doing better than others. I hope you all enjoy it and look forward to your feedback on the Boards)

"Pink roses or red?"

"Excuse me?"

"For the chapel. Should we have pink roses or red?" asked Shirley. "Or maybe both. No, it should be one color, Elegant Bride says to pick one color and stick with it. Now, the bridesmaids’ gowns are going to be pink, so I thought the pink roses might be nice, but then again, their bouquets will be pink, so is that just too much pink, or…"

"Shirley," laughed Carmine, putting his head in his hands. "Can you take it down just a notch?"

She sighed, thumping the bridal magazine on her lap. "Carmine, we only have 257 more days to plan this wedding. That’s going to go by like this," and she illustrated her point with a loud fingersnap. "There is a lot of planning that goes into a wedding, and I want our perfect day to be perfect. And for it to be perfect, we need perfect flowers. And the color of those perfect flowers should be….?"

He looked back at her in mock fear. "I…I…guess they should be…pink?"

"Yes! No. Well, maybe. But red is the official color of love, and the contrast would be so pretty." She sighed, hopping off the couch and pacing like a caged lion.

Carmine watched her. God, she was beautiful, he thought. But way too wrapped up in this wedding thing. As far as he was concerned, all they had to do was go to the local church, say the vows, have a party with a few friends, then get to the consummating. Go figure that first there were gowns, and seating arrangements, and flowers, and endless, endless planning.

"We could elope, you know," he offered.

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew he had screwed up.

"What did you say?" she hissed.

"Nothing. I said nothing. Not me, nope." He pressed his hand over his mouth for emphasis, looking up at her with wide, innocent eyes.

"Do you know what Laverne would do to us if we just up and ran off to Vegas? Not to mention my parents. Or yours."

Carmine looked at the floor.

"What?" asked Shirley.

"Nothing."

"Come on, what is it? What are you thinking."

"Well, Shirl…it’s just that, you know, considering our family histories, it isn’t real likely that our parents will show. Maybe your mom, yeah," he added quickly. "But do you even know where your dad is right now?"

Damn, I shouldn’t have said that, he thought, seeing the statement that came over Shirley’s face. Maybe I should just shut up already.

"I can find my daddy," said Shirley. "I’m sure Mikey knows where he is, and even if he doesn’t, well, I’ll just put out some personal ads in a bunch of papers that I’m getting married. He’s bound to see one of those.

Carmine sighed. "And what about my parents? I haven’t seen them since I left home, and that’s what, almost fifteen years ago now? I’m sure my father couldn’t care less and mom…well, she cares about what he tells her to care about."

"So, what are you saying here, Carmine? That you don’t want a wedding?" Shirley’s lower lip began to tremble.

"No, no, no! That isn’t what I’m saying at all!" He stood up and put his arms around her. "Angel Face, I want to marry you. I’m not trying to get out of anything here. I just want you to take it easy, that’s all. This should be something we look forward to, not something that makes you pace all night." He stopped, hoping he had made it better.

He had. "Oh, Carmine, you’re right. I just get so wrapped up in things." Shirley hugged him. "I just don’t want any missed little detail to mess it all up, you know?"

He smiled down at her. "I know, Angel Face. I know. Look, I gotta go out for a little while. Why don’t you call Laverne and have her come over to help you pick out those flowers? I promise to love whatever you choose."

"Alright, sweetie," she agreed. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, just down to the gym. I promised Len, you know."

"Are you sure he’s he ready for that?"

"Oh, yeah, I think so. It took a long time for that break to heal and he had to stay in bed for most of it. He’s gonna need some building up."

"Well, that’s nice of you to help him. I know Laverne is looking forward to taking him dancing." Shirley flopped back down on the couch with her magazine. "I’ll see you for dinner, right?"

"Of course," he said.

He went to the door, then paused a moment, staring at it with a strange look on his face. He closed his eyes for a moment, tightly, then opened them again and gave his head a brisk shake. Carmine glanced back at Shirley. She was already wrapped up in her magazine. Relieved she hadn’t noticed anything, he headed out the door.

"Carmine?"

"Oh, hey, Len," Carmine said. His face was flushed and perspiring. He stepped away from the punching bag he’d been working. "You ready?"

"Yeah, sure." Lenny looked around the gym uncomfortably. "So, what are you gonna do to me, exactly?"

Carmine laughed. "Nothin’, Len. It’s what you’re gonna do to you. We’ve gotta get you into shape, so you can dump that thing." He pointed to the cane Lenny was leaning on. "I’m just going to suggest ways to do it."

"Okaaaaay," said Len, not too certain about the whole thing.

"First we’ve got to work on your range of motion," said Carmine, leading Lenny over to some floor mats.

"My what again?"

"Your…never mind. Can you touch your toes?"

Lenny leaned forward slightly from the waist. He grimaced and stood back up. "That’s as far as I go," he said.

Carmine sighed. "This might take awhile. Maybe we should start with something easy…a little stretching. Your muscles are probably pretty tight after all that time in bed."

"Hey, Laverne and I do more than just…"

"Not what I mean, not what I mean!" said Carmine, waving his hands. "I mean, you know, after Cowboy Bill’s and all."

The two men looked at the floor in silence for a moment. It was still hard to talk about that day, especially with each other.

"Yeah, well, it’s not so bad. It hardly hurts anymore. And when it does, I’ve got these." Lenny held up a bottle of prescription pills that had been tucked in his jacket pocket.

"What are those?"

"Painkillers. Really, really good painkillers" said Len. He opened the bottle and popped one into his mouth.

"Ugh, how do you do that without water?" asked Carmine.

"I’m used to it," said Len, with a gulp. "Okay, now I’m ready. Do your worst, Carmine!"

"Do you prefer the one with the ballroom skirt, or the tube style?" Shirley asked Laverne, pointing.

They were standing in front of the wedding gown department of Bardwell’s department store.

"I can’t believe you made me come here on our day off, Shirl," grumbled Laverne.

"Oh, Vernie, this isn’t work. Besides, how many times before have we come over here to look at dresses during our coffee breaks?"

"None."

"That’s not true. Why, I was here at least once a…oh, never mind."

"Shirley, I know you’re excited," said Laverne. "Okay, okay, I’ll bite. I like…that one." She pointed to a frilly white dress to their left.

"Laverne, I want to look like a bride, not a lemon meringue pie."

"Okay, how about…that one?" Laverne gestured to a sparkly number to their right.

"Too trampy," said Shirley.

"That one?"

"It will make me look fat."

"That one?"

"Ugh, cheap!"

"Alright, that one, then."

"Fat again."

"Shirl!" cried Laverne, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "Just…pick whatever you want, okay?"

Shirley looked at her, hurt. "What’s wrong, Laverne? I thought you’d have fun helping me pick out a dress. Maybe even get a couple of ideas yourself…"

Laverne sighed. "I’m sorry, Shirl. I’m just a little distracted, is all."

"What is it, Vernie?" asked Shirley. "You know you can tell me anything."

Laverne shrugged. "It’s just…I’m a little worried about Len."

"Lenny? Why? I thought you guys were going great guns? Did he try something…"

"No, no, nothing like that. Nothing I didn’t want," Laverne said. "I think he’s still hurting, Shirl. It’s been almost four months. And…you know, maybe I shouldn’t be saying this to anyone."

"I’m not anyone. I’m your bestest friend in the whole world. Come on, Vernie."

"He’s been acting strangely," Laverne blurted out. "Strange even for him."

"Like what?"

"Like I get the feeling that he’s keeping something from me. Like he zones out when I’m talking to him sometimes, then loses his temper when I ask about it. He’s lost interest in going out, and his favorite t.v. shows…" Laverne bit her lip. "He isn’t even hanging out with Squig much anymore."

"You say that as if it were a bad thing," said Shirley.

"Normally, it wouldn’t be, no, but with everything else…" Laverne shook her head. "Maybe I pushed him too fast. Maybe he wasn’t ready for anything this serious."

Shirley looked at her. "So, it’s already serious, is it?"

Laverne shrugged. "I thought so. It was for me. Now? Now I’m not so sure." Laverne reached out to her friend. "What should I do, Shirl? How can I fix it if I don’t know what’s broken?"

Shirley took Laverne’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Maybe Lenny isn’t ready to talk to you," she said. "But he’s going to be spending a lot of time with someone else that he may feel more comfortable opening up to."

"Who?" asked Laverne.

"Carmine," said Shirley. "I’ll talk to him about it at dinner tonight. Maybe Carmine can find out what’s going on for you."

"Oh, Shirl, that would be great!" said Laverne, looking relieved. "Yeah, maybe it’s a guy thing. You sure Carmine wouldn’t mind?"

"Of course not," Shirley reassured her. "He understands how important it is for a couple to share everything. He’ll be happy to help you two, especially considering what Lenny did for him that terrible day. Okay?"

Laverne nodded. "Thanks, Shirl. Now, let’s find you a dress!"

"Owww! Why are you doing this to me?" groaned Lenny from the floor.

"Come on, five more. You can do it!"

Lenny pulled himself into sitting position, then flopped back on the mat.

"You call that a sit up?" Carmine goaded him. "My grandmother could do better than that and she’s been dead for twenty years!"

Lenny struggled up one more time, then fell back and threw his arms out to his sides. "That’s it, Carmine. I’m done."

"Len…"

"Done!" Lenny snapped. "As in over done! As in, I’ve had it!"

"Okay, okay, calm down," said Carmine. He stood over Lenny, shaking his head. "I know this is tough, Len, but the stronger your abs are, the less strain you’ll be putting on your pelvis." He reached down, grasped Lenny by the forearm, then tugged him to his feet.

Lenny stood, panting. "This is only the fourth week we’ve gotten together here, and I already hate you, Carmine," he said, without malice.

Carmine laughed. "Then I must be doing something right. Come on, I’ll buy you a water."

"How’s about a beer instead?"

Carmine poked Lenny in the side. "I think you’ve got enough beers in there, pal."

"Since when did you turn into my mother?" grumbled Lenny.

They went over to sit at the juice bar in the corner. Carmine grabbed a large bottle of water and two glasses and brought them over to the table. Lenny watched as he stopped, looked at the table blankly for a moment, then blinked two or three times at it. "You okay there, Carmine?" he asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure, Len. Right as rain." Carmine smiled at him and sat down. "How’ve you been?"

"You know…the same."

Carmine nodded. "And how’s things with Laverne?"

Lenny smiled. "Aww, she’s great, Carmine. She’s more than great. She’s the best thing what ever happened to me."

"That’s nice to hear."

They sat quietly.

"How’s the wedding plans?" Lenny asked finally.

"Fine. You know Shirley. She’s a whirlwind of wedding activity."

"It’s funny, you know. With our girlfriends being best friends. I guess that’s sort of gonna make us best friends-in-law," said Lenny. He opened his pill bottle and took one with a gulp of water.

"Yeah," said Carmine, watching him. "Something like that. Say, Len, how long you gonna have to take those?"

Lenny shrugged. "Until the pain goes away, I guess."

"Oh."

"I guess you got lucky, huh," said Lenny.

"Lucky? How do you mean?"

"Well, you know. Considering how badly you were hurt back then, and look at you now! You’re your old self again."

Carmine looked down at the table. "Yeah, lucky me," he said. Looking back again, he couldn’t help but notice how sad Lenny looked. There were lines on the blond man’s face that Carmine hadn’t seen there before. His blue eyes had a glassiness about them. "Len, you can tell me I’m way out of line here, and I’ll back off, but, ummm…nah, never mind."

"No, it’s okay Carmine. What is it?"

"Well, I don’t want to imply anything," said Carmine, slowly. "But, you’ve taken at least, what, three pills here so far? Isn’t that kind of a lot?"

"I’ve got kind of a lot of pain, Carmine," said Lenny.

"You know, if I’m pushing you too hard, just say so. We can lay off…"

"No! No, I don’t want to lay off. I’ve got to get back on my feet and back where I was before all this happened. Laverne, you know, she deserves a guy that can take her places. Go dancin’ with her. Stuff like that."

"Yeah, okay, that’s a great attitude, but not if you’re hurting yourself."

"Carmine, it doesn’t matter!" said Lenny, a bit louder than he had intended. "If I’m in bed, it hurts. If I’m watching t.v., it hurts. If I try to do anything I used to just do, it hurts. So what difference does it make? At least this way, I’m doing something to fix it while it hurts!"

Carmine was silent. Then he said, "I’m sorry. I really didn’t know how bad it was for you."

Lenny closed his eyes for a moment, getting his emotions under control. "I’m sorry, too, Carmine. I don’t mean to take it out on you. You’ve done nothin’ but try and help me. Which, by the way, is more than my so-called best friend has done for me lately."

"Yeah, well…I owe you. A lot." Carmine shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I love Shirley, Len. And I wouldn’t have a future with her if you hadn’t…if you didn’t…well, if you weren’t down there with me that day." He shook his head. "You were a real friend in need, Len. I just want you to know that I appreciate it."

Lenny squirmed a little. "Geeze, Carmine, you don’t have to get all mushy on me," he said.

"Yeah, I hate it, too," Carmine admitted. "But there it is. I know I’ve thanked you before, but as my old man used to say, ‘talk is cheap, boy.’ So I’d like to show you my appreciation."

"Well, you kinda have been, Carmine. I mean, you’ve been meetin’ me here for two days a week, every week, for a month now. I know that you don’t have a lot of free time, what with all those jobs you do…what do you have, three of them?"

"Well, sort of. I dropped the telegram thing…the tips stank. And when Cowboy Bill’s went up, so did that job. But, I’ve been teaching at a local dance studio. And…" he hesitated.

"Yeah?"

"Well, I haven’t told anyone but Shirley this yet, but I’ve been going to school part-time," Carmine confided.

"No kidding? Doing what?"

"It’s a new thing, called physical therapy. It involves helping people with injuries get back on their feet, using special exercises."

"Oh, so I’m just a guinea pig for you, is that it?" asked Lenny.

"Sort of." Carmine laughed. "Anyway, I like it and it’ll pay enough so that when I’ve got my certificate, I can support my…my…"

"I think the word your searching for there is ‘wife,’ Carmine."

Carmine pretended to shiver. "I’ll just never get used to sayin’ that. My wife. Shirley. Shirley-my-wife. Oh, boy."

"I’d like to get used to sayin’ it," said Lenny suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, not the Shirley part."

Carmine stared at him. "Isn’t this a little quick?"

Len shrugged. "Why wait? I love Laverne, she loves me. That’s why I’ve gotta get rid of this thing," he gestured angrily at his cane, "And get myself back in working order as fast as I can. And if it means I’ve gotta take a hundred of these a day, then so be it!" Lenny shook his bottle of pills, before sticking them back in his pocket.

"Those aren’t gonna get you on your feet any faster," cautioned Carmine. "They’re just going to cover up whatever is really going on."

"That works for me," said Len, pushing his chair back. He rose slowly to his feet, taking his cane. "I’ll see you next week, Carmine," he said, and limped away before Carmine could say anything else.

Carmine watched him go. "It never works for anyone, Len," he said, quietly.

"So?" said Shirley, passing a roll to Carmine.

"So what?" he asked, accepting it.

"So, how did it go with Lenny today?"

"Shirl, I’m really not comfortable tellin’ you everything Len says to me," said Carmine. "At first, it didn’t matter…"

"Yes, well, that’s because he didn’t tell you anything useful," said Shirley.

"Right, but now it’s making me feel bad. Like I’m betraying him. Look," said Carmine. "If Laverne wants to know what’s up with Len, she should ask Len."

"I told you this weeks ago, Carmine," said Shirley. "She’s tried. He either pretends everything is okay or gets mad and leaves the room. Vernie just wants to help him, but he won’t let her."

Carmine buttered his roll. Over and over again. "I’m sorry, but I think what Lenny says to me should stay between him and me."

"Even if it means he loses Laverne?"

Carmine stopped buttering. "What are you sayin’, Shirl?" he asked.

"I’m saying that a girl can only take being pushed away so many times before she…goes," said Shirley.

"Is Laverne going to leave Len? She can’t do that, Shirl. It would tear his heart out."

"You think?"

"I know! The guy is crazy about her, Angel Face! Everything he’s been doing, all the work he’s been putting in to get better, it’s all been for her." He stood up and began pacing around the kitchen table. "Geeze, Shirl, the guy’s thinking about marrying her."

"He’s what?" came a voice from the apartment foyer.

Carmine and Shirley froze. Shirley leaned over and looked into the living room. "Vernie," she said. "You’re back awfully early." Shirley glared back at Carmine . "Look, Carmine, Laverne is back. Funny you didn’t see. Her. Standing. Right. Out. There!"

Carmine closed his eyes and swore to himself. He waved at Laverne, weakly. "Hi, Laverne. How’s things?" Oh, I am so lame, he thought.

"Did you just say what I think you just said?" Laverne demanded, marching into the kitchen.

"And just what do you think I…"

"Lenny wanted to marry me? Carmine, did you just say that Lenny wanted to marry me?" Laverne grabbed him by the collar.

Carmine glanced over at Shirley, a look of desperation on his face. Shirley gave him a ‘you’re on your own’ wave of her hand. "Thanks a lot," he said to her, sarcastically.

"Carmine…" said Laverne, her voice more than a little threatening.

Carmine hung his head, guiltily. "He may have mentioned something about it."

"Oh, my God." Laverne dropped Carmine’s lapels and sat down abruptly in his abandoned kitchen chair.

"Wait, Laverne, you can’t tell him I said anything!" Carmine begged. "He would kill me if he knew I’d let that slip, and he’d be right to do it. Just…you know…just act surprised and all."

Laverne was staring at the center of the table. She started to cry.

"Awww, man!" said Carmine, slapping himself in the forehead. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" he scolded himself.

Shirley shot him a, "Now you’ve done it." To Laverne, she said, "Aww, Vernie, I know it’s sudden, but think about how happy you’ll be. Maybe we can even do a double wedding!"

"No, Shirl, you don’t understand," said Laverne, between sobs. "I broke up with him."

"What?" Carmine and Shirley both exclaimed.

Laverne nodded, grabbing a wad of napkins and wiping her eyes. "We got into this huge fight. I told him that if he couldn’t tell me everything, that meant he didn’t trust me. And if he didn’t trust me, he must not really love me…" her voice trailed off.

Shirley jumped up and wrapped her arms around her friend. "Carmine, maybe you’d better…"

"…yeah, maybe I’d better," he finished, heading toward the door. "Laverne, I’m…I’m really sorry," he said as left.

Once outside, Carmine leaned back against the closed door to the girls’ apartment. As badly as he felt for Laverne, he was more concerned about Lenny. "What are you going to do without her?" Carmine said to himself. "And what can I do to make this right?"

He thought for a minute, then nodded to himself and headed up the stairs. He hesitated, about to knock on Lenny’s door. Maybe he was overstepping here, Carmine thought. Maybe this was something more appropriate for a best friend to deal with. Carmine turned away and jogged down the stairs. On the way down, he missed the second to the last step and had to grab the railing to keep from falling. "Damn!" he muttered. With a furtive glance to make sure no one had seen him, Carmine headed off into the night.

He tracked down Squiggy at the third bar he tried. "There you are," said Carmine, coming up behind Squiggy’s barstool.

Squiggy gave the seat a spin, until he was facing Carmine. "Oh, it’s you," he said, and spun himself back around.

"Yeah, it’s great to see you, too," said Carmine. He spun Squiggy’s seat again, so that they were facing one another. "I gotta talk to you, Squig."

"Yeah, well, that makes one of us," said Squiggy. He spun away again.

Carmine sighed and gave the seat a brisk spin, sending Squiggy in circles, twice.

"Hey! Ya want me to toss my cookies or somethin’?" yelled Squiggy. He braced himself against the bar and sat swaying.

Carmine took the seat next to him, turned Squiggy’s seat so that they were looking at each other, and held it firmly. "I don’t have time for this, Squiggy," he warned.

Squiggy sat still, folding his arms. "Nobody’s got time for nobody these days, Carmine," said Squiggy. "Fine, what can I do you for?

"It’s Lenny."

At the sound of Lenny’s name, Squiggy snorted and picked up his beer mug. "What about him?"

Carmine was confused. "Are you guys having some sort of a fight?" he asked.

"No, no fight Carmine. There’s nothin’ goin’ on between Leonard Kosnovski and me." Squiggy took a large swig of beer.

"Good, because I need your help. Actually, he needs your help. He and Laverne just broke up."

"No kiddin’," said Squiggy, with disinterest. "How sad for them."

Carmine tried to control his temper. "Yes, it is sad, Squiggy," he said through gritted teeth. "It’s very sad. And as their friends, we need to help them."

"Maybe you do, Carmine. You’re his best friend now, ain’t ya?"

Carmine sat back on his stool. "What?"

"Yeah, you’re Lenny’s pal. If Lenny needs a shoulder to cry on, that’s your headache, not mine." Squiggy banged down his beer mug and glared at Carmine.

Carmine blinked at him. "What?" was all he could say again.

"Lenny don’t have time for me no more, Carmine. Oh, sure, we’re still roomies, but I may as well be a lamp or a sofa for all he notices me. We don’t hang out no more, or say two words to each other no more, and do you know why?" Squiggy leaned closer to Carmine, who drew back from his beer-soaked breath.

"Wh…phew! Why, Squig?" he asked.

"Because if he’s not hangin’ out with you, he’s with his lady love, Laverne! Or he’s lyin’ around in his room not wantin’ to be bothered. ‘Cause that’s all I am to him now…a bother." Squiggy downed the rest of his beer in one gulp, banging the mug down once more. "It’s just like bein’ a kid again," he said. "All those nice memories of hangin’ out with my dad. ‘Cept I don’t got none, because I was a bother to him, too!"

Carmine was stunned. "Squiggy, where is this all coming from? I’m not Len’s best friend and we’re not hanging out anywhere. I mean, I’m helping him out at the gym a couple days…"

"The gym," Squiggy scoffed. "Like Lenny would ever be caught dead in a gym."

"Yeah, he would, Squig," said Carmine. "What do you think he’s been doing for the past month?"

"Hangin’ out with you, drinking and havin’ a good ol’ time without me," said Squiggy.

Carmine shook his head. "Oh, brother. He didn’t tell you, did he?"

"I told ya, he don’t tell me nothin’ no more."

"Fine. I’ll tell you. I may as well, since I haven’t been doing a great job of keepin’ my mouth shut tonight. Squiggy, Lenny and I have been working together at the gym. I’m trying to help him get over his injuries from the quake, so he doesn’t need that cane anymore and so he doesn’t hurt all the time anymore. We haven’t been out at parties or anything like it. I’m not his new best friend. I’m just a friend. He already has a best friend, Squig."

"Oh, and who’s that guy?" asked Squiggy, his voice rising again.

"You are, you nitwit," said Carmine.

"Oh." Squiggy squinted at Carmine. "You tellin’ me the truth?"

"Yes, Squig, I am. I got no reason to lie."

Squiggy stared at him some more, then sat back on his stool and shrugged. "Yeah, well, okay. That don’t change the fact that he don’t like me no more."

Carmine shook his head. "Squiggy, we really don’t have time for you to feel sorry for yourself here!" he said, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. "Lenny is in real trouble here and he needs someone he can talk to."

Squiggy looked back at him. "What do you mean, trouble? You said he and Laverne broke up. That ain’t trouble, that’s just a girl-guy thing."

"There’s more, Squig."

Should I be doing this? Carmine asked himself. He looked at Squiggy. I’m trusting this guy to help somebody who really needs it. But, who was he to decide who should be Lenny’s best friend? Lenny had obviously decided that a long time ago.

"Squiggy," Carmine continued. "I think Lenny may have a problem. With his painkillers, I mean." He took a deep breath. "Look, I don’t know for sure, but he’s taking a lot of them. And I think they’re changing him."

"Changin’ him how?" asked Squiggy.

"Well, like how he hasn’t been hanging out with you, for one thing. Like how he’s been acting with Laverne. He loves her, Squig, you know he does."

"Yeah, I’ve known a lot longer than you, Carmine. A whole lot longer."

"Right, so you know what I mean. But lately, he’s just been pushing her away and tonight, well, he succeeded. But he didn’t mean to. I know he didn’t."

"How do you know?"

"I just…do," said Carmine. "Trust me on this. I don’t think it’s Len that’s the problem. I think it’s Len with a whole lot of drugs in him. I think he’s using them like he uses that cane, only they aren’t helping him anymore. They’re wrecking his life."

Squiggy tapped the side of his mug, absorbing what Carmine had just said. "How do you know, Carmine?" he asked quietly.

"Because I’ve, well, I’ve seen it before, Squig." Oh, I really shouldn’t be saying this, not to this guy, thought Carmine, but the words just kept on coming. "My mother used to take a lot of pills, Squiggy. She said they made her life feel better. Except they didn’t, not for long. The life…the life stayed pretty bad, Squig. All they did was keep her from leaving him…it." Carmine swallowed, hard. "They changed her. They made her someone I didn’t even know. By the time I left…well, let’s just say she would have missed them a lot more than she missed me."

Squiggy cleared his throat and shifted on his stool. "You never said anything about it, Carmine. I always wondered why you never went home after graduation."

"Yeah, well that was part of it." Carmine sighed. "That isn’t the point. This isn’t about me, it’s about Lenny. I’d really hate to see the guy flush his life down the toilet, especially now when it is finally getting good. But I don’t know how to stop him." Carmine paused, shrugging. "I couldn’t stop my own mother. What can I possibly do for Len?"

Squiggy wiped his mouth with his sleeve and hopped off his stool. He caught the edge of the bar with his hand, steadying himself on his feet. "You just did it, Carmine," Squiggy said, a note of determination in his voice.

"I did?"

"Yeah, you did." Squiggy headed toward the door. "Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it," he said as he headed off into the night.

Carmine watched him go. Then he slipped off his stool and walked right into the one Squiggy had just vacated. "Watch it, fella," said the bartender. "Maybe you’ve had enough."

"I didn’t have any," Carmine said, mostly to himself. He blinked a couple of times, until the room came back into focus. How long is it going to take for my vision to get back to normal? he wondered. Between the bouts of blurred vision and the occasional flashes of light for no reason, it was getting to be really aggravating.

"God, I hope I just did the right thing," he said to himself, as he headed out of the bar. He looked up at the sky outside and said, "Please, just let me have done one thing right tonight!"

When Lenny stomped over to him in the gym the next day, Carmine braced himself.

"You aren’t going to hit me, are you?" he asked, looking up at the taller man. "’Cause I might let you if you want to, but I’d really prefer it if you didn’t."

Lenny glared at him. "I really should deck you, you know," he said.

"Yeah, I know." Carmine hung his head. "I’m so sorry. I just kept talking and everything that came out was the wrong thing. So much for repaying you for your help."

"Why’d you tell her, Carmine? I didn’t think I had to officially swear you to secrecy. I assumed you knew to keep it to yourself!"

Carmine nodded, sadly. "I didn’t know she was in the room, Len. I didn’t see her until it was too late."

"You were sayin’ it to someone, Carmine, or else Laverne wouldn’t have had anything to overhear!"

Carmine closed his eyes. "I said it to Shirl, Len." He peeked out of one eye, then looked up at Lenny apologetically. "It just slipped out, I swear!"

"And Squiggy? You go and sic Squiggy on me after how many weeks of him ignoring me?"

"He thought you didn’t want anything to do with him all this time," said Carmine. "I was just tryin’ to…"

"Then you tell him you think I’m some sort of burnout?" Lenny took another step toward Carmine.

Carmine took a deep breath, but stood his ground. "I didn’t say that, Len. I said I was worried. That one, I’m not so sorry about. "Cause I really do believe you need to cut it out with those pills."

"Yeah, well, maybe you’re right."

Carmine looked at him blankly. "Come again?" he finally said.

"I said, maybe you’re right." Lenny leaned against the wall, taking some of the pressure off his aching lower back.

"I am? I mean, yeah, of course I am. Len, I’m not tryin’ to say that you’re not really hurting," said Carmine, lowering his voice. "I know you are. I can see it. But I think those painkillers are causing you more pain than they’re killing."

"Well, Squiggy said somethin’ like that to me last night. ‘Cept it came out more like, ‘What are you doin’, Stupid!’"

Carmine chuckled. "That’s Squiggy. He’s a regular fountain of compassion."

"Well, he said some other stuff. Some of it even made sense." Lenny shrugged. "Look, Carmine, I really would have been happier if you had kept your mouth shut."

"Me, too," admitted Carmine.

"But, you also got my best friend and me talkin’ again and I guess I want to say thank you for that." Lenny held out his hand.

Carmine took it, shaking it with a smile. "My pleasure, Len. And if anything that Squiggy said made sense, so far as those pills are concerned, then it’s really my pleasure."

"I’ll show you," said Lenny. He reached into his jacket pocket and handed the vial of painkillers to Carmine. "Do whatever you want with those. I don’t need ‘em anymore."

"Just like that?" said Carmine, staring at the bottle in his hand. "You know, Len, it isn’t that easy."

Lenny shrugged. "Maybe it won’t be, tomorrow, but today it is."

Carmine kept looking at the bottle in his hand. It was blurry. But this time, it wasn’t his vision that was the problem.

"Carmine? What’s wrong?" asked Lenny.

"Oh, nothing, Len. It’s just…"

"What? You look so sad all of a sudden. I thought this’d make you happy."

"Oh, it does," Carmine quickly reassured him. He shoved the bottle into his sweatshirt pocket. "It really does. Only…"

"Only?"

"Only I never got the bottle out of my mother’s hand," Carmine said. "Maybe if I had stuck it out at home, I would have. I just assumed…now I can’t help but wonder."

Lenny looked at him, puzzled. "You never mentioned…"

"…no, I didn’t," Carmine interrupted him. He shook his head and looked back up at Lenny, forcing a smile. "Can’t change the past," he said, with a shrug. "But this is a good start for the future. Now, about Laverne…"

It was Lenny’s turn to look sad. "I think I blew it there, Carmine. She just kept askin’ me about stuff, pushin’ me for answers that I just didn’t want to give her. And now, she’s given up on me."

"No, Lenny, she hasn’t," Carmine tried to reassure him. "You just hurt her feelings. You made her think you didn’t trust her."

"I trust her plenty, Carmine," insisted Lenny. "I just didn’t want to heap all my problems on her."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, like if she knew how much I was really hurtin’ all the time, she’d feel like she had to baby me. She wouldn’t think of me as her man anymore. I’d just be a weakling she was saddled with. All I wanted to do was get back to normal as fast as I could, so’s we could be together like a regular couple, with me bein’ the strong one who takes care of her. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?"

Carmine shrugged. "I guess so. But, Len, you’re not in pain because your weak, buddy. Yeah, you can’t do quite everything you did before that fall, but that has nothing to do with how ‘manly’ you are. You got hurt, Len. It wasn’t your fault. Now your tryin’ to get better. That’s what makes you a man…you found the problem and your working to fix it. In the meantime, you don’t need to hide what’s really goin’ on from Laverne, or anyone else for that matter. You should be proud of yourself. Your friends would be." Carmine smiled at him. "I am."

"Really?"

"Yep. Really."

Lenny nodded. "Maybe you’re right, Carmine. But it’s still too late for me and Laverne. She still thinks I don’t love her enough."

"Len, you can fix that, too."

"How?"

"Show her you trust her. Tell her now what’s been going on with you. All of it. Tell her how much you love her and how hard you’re working to be everything she deserves. Most of all, admit that you’re in pain. Let her help you. Then, maybe, she’ll believe you and…" Carmine broke off. He reached out and grabbed Lenny’s forearm, shutting his eyes tightly for a moment.

"Carmine? What’s wrong?" asked Lenny, startled.

"N…nothing, Len." Carmine shook his head, staring intently at the zipper on Lenny’s jacket. "That’s better," he said to himself.

"What’s better?"

Carmine shook his head and stepped back from Lenny. "Oh, it’s nothing," he said. "Just a weird trick of the light. Forget about it. What was I saying? Oh, yeah, Laverne."

"I should talk to her, huh? Be straight with her."

"I think so. It’s worth a shot. Then maybe you can ask her that question you wanted to ask her."

"I thought you kinda took care of that for me already, Carmine," said Lenny, sarcastically.

Carmine shrugged. "She didn’t answer us yet, Len."

"No, I guess she didn’t." Lenny stood up a little straighter. "She didn’t say no, did she?"

"Nope. No no."

"So, maybe she might say yes?"

"No way to know until you ask her. And this time, I swear I’ll leave it up to you!" Carmine drew his finger over his chest in the sign of a cross.

"You better, or Golden Gloves champ or not, I’m gonna knock you on your keister!" warned Lenny, but with a smile.

"Deal. But for now, your mine," said Carmine, raising an eyebrow. "Drop and give me twenty!"

Shirley and Carmine were pacing in his apartment.

"Do you think they’re done over there yet?" asked Shirley, as she walked past Carmine.

"I don’t know," he replied, passing the other way.

"Why isn’t she here if they’re finished?" asked Shirley, passing Carmine on the other side.

"Maybe she doesn’t know you’re here," he said, walking by.

"Of course she knows I’m here. Where else would I be if I’m not there in our apartment with her?" said Shirley.

"Shirl," said Carmine, catching her as she passed him again. "We’re making a hole in the rug. And I can’t afford a new one right now."

"You’re right," she said, dropping onto his sofa. "I know! Let’s go downstairs and listen at the door!" She bounced back to her feet.

Carmine caught her around the waist, lifting her easily off her feet. "Whoa, right there! Lenny and Laverne need their privacy. Besides," he added, nuzzling her neck. "I can think of other ways to pass the time."

She chuckled softly, wrapping her arms around him. "Well, that might be more fun," she purred.

Just as their lips met, a loud knock on Carmine’s door interrupted them.

"Of course," Carmine sighed. He set Shirley down and went to open the door.

Laverne was standing behind it. There was a very neutral statement on her face.

Carmine’s heart sank. "Hey, Laverne," he said, cautiously, letting her in.

"Oh, Vernie! Is everything okay?" breathed Shirley, running up to her friend.

"Well…" she said, looking down at the floor.

"…if you call bein’ engaged okay!" said another voice from behind her. Lenny leaned in the door, a wide grin lighting up his face.

Laverne smiled broadly, holding up her left hand. A small, shiny diamond glistened on her ring finger.

Shirley screamed. Laverne screamed. They embraced and began jumping around in a circle.

"I guess that carpet’s just plain doomed," said Carmine. Turning back to Len, he grasped his hand and pumped it up and down. "Congratulations, buddy! You’re takin’ the plunge, huh?"

"Yeah, well, I know it seems kind of fast. Especially compared to you and Shirl’s million-year courtship. But it’s the right thing."

Carmine winked at him. "You don’t have to convince me."

The girls continued to shriek in the background. Shirley was holding Laverne’s hand, oo’ing and ahhh’ing.

"How’d you afford a ring on Disability, Len?" Carmine asked.

"It’s sort of an heirloom. One of the few things I got left from my mom." Lenny walked into the apartment. Carmine noticed that he didn’t have his cane with him.

"How are you doin’?" he asked. "I mean, the pain and…the other thing?"

"Oh, today’s not too bad," said Lenny. "Painwise I mean. And whenever I want a pill, I just drink a beer."

"Len…"

"Kidding, Carmine, I’m kidding. No, really, it may just be too soon, but I don’t miss the painkillers at all. Well, hardly at all."

"If it gets rough, you know, you can come to me," Carmine offered. "I don’t know exactly what I’d do to help, but…I don’t know, you can yell at me and smack me around until you feel better, I guess."

"Thanks…I’ll remember that," said Lenny.

"…now I understand," Laverne was saying to Shirley as the boys walked over. "He’s gonna let me help him and he promised no more secrets."

"That’s oh so very important, Laverne," said Shirley, nodding. "If you don’t share everything in a relationship, then you don’t really have a relationship. I’ve always thought that. Right, Carmine?"

"Huh?" he said. "Oh, yeah, sure, Angel Face." Carmine looked at the floor, then at the wall…everywhere her eyes weren’t.

"That’s right," she said. "Oh, Vernie, isn’t it perfect? Now we can be newlyweds together! I’ve got all these great magazines, you’ve just got to see…" Shirley led Laverne out the door without even a glance backward. Carmine and Lenny watched them go, then turned to each other and shrugged.

"Guess we’ll have to get used to that," said Lenny.

"What?"

"Our wives canoodling with each other and leavin’ us to our own devices." He dropped down onto Carmine’s sofa with a sigh.

"Our wives," Carmine repeated. He shook his head, slowly. "Our wives, Len. Oh, my God, what the hell are we doing?"

Lenny laughed. "The smartest thing we ever have, pal."

Carmine looked at the doorway to his apartment, still shaking his head in disbelief. Then the door blurred. He sat down abruptly next to Lenny, shutting his eyes tightly. He opened them again, blinked in the direction of the door, then closed them again. He did this four or five time while Lenny watched in confusion.

"Carmine? What are you doing?" he asked, a tinge of concern in his voice.

Carmine didn’t answer him. He raised a hand in front of his face, but seemed to stare right through it.

"Carmine?"

"Lenny," Carmine replied. His voice was shaking.

"Yeah? What’s wrong with you? First at the gym and now…"

"I can’t see, Len," Carmine said, quietly.

"What? What do you mean you…"

"I mean," Carmine said, waving his hand in front of his own eyes. "I can’t see."

"You can’t see what?" asked Lenny.

Carmine was silent for a moment. "Anything," he finally answered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I can’t see anything. At all."

--End Part I--

Part Two

Go Back to "The Big One"



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