Letters From The Heart
Part 5

By Missy and Old Time Fan

Fifth Part By: Old Time Fan


Here it was, the last week of her vacation, and all she wanted to do was read a letter. Sad. Really, really sad.

Laverne sucked on the tip of her pen, re-reading Lenny's letter for about the fifteenth time since its arrival. She was sitting in a tiny, quaint old teahouse on the outskirts of Pisa, her final stop on her whirlwind visit to Italy. As she waited for her tea to arrive, she laid out a sheet of writing paper, side-by-side with Lenny's letter. Laverne read Lenny's missive from the beginning, though she knew all the words by heart. She still stumbled over that one short little line of three plain little words that made her shake from head to toe. I love you, she thought. Lenny said I love you. Oh, God...now what?

She smiled absently at the handsome, young waiter who brought her a cup of tea. She failed to notice how his eyes scanned her with appreciation, or how he seemed to want to say something more to her. He may as well have been invisible, for all his tall, dark and handsomeness failed to draw her attention. As he sadly withdrew, Laverne took a deep breath and started to write.

Dear Lenny,

Wow. Boy, if you were trying to get my attention, you sure succeeded!

It's funny how you asked about me talking to my family about you, because I just did the other night. I kind of blurted it out to my Aunts Leona and Fiona. You know, the twins? Well, I guess I just needed to talk to somebody and it all came pouring out. They gave me some advice, and I think it's probably pretty good advice, since they're like eighty years old and have been married nine times between them. All those husbands, they must know something about relationships, right? Yeah, I thought so too. Anyway, more about that later. First, I should answer all your other stuff first.

Of course I remember that birthday party! And, hey, sorry about the punch incident. You just kind of took me off guard back then and I never did know my own strength. Forgive me, yet?

This whole thing about Shirley and Squiggy has me almost as wigged out as whatever the heck's happening between you and me. She let him touch her? For real? Because I find that really hard to wrap my brain around. The thing that worries me is, well, Shirl can be pretty tricky sometimes. I really hate to say this about my own best friend, but she might just be using Squig to get back at Carmine. Yeah, I know, you said she was making out with Squiggy at your place, where Carmine couldn't possibly catch them, BUT you also said that you did see them. I know this sounds awful, but that might have been what Shirl was counting on...that you'd see her and Squiggy and then run right to Carmine and tell him about it. Did she know you were going to be playing guitar with Carmine? Because that might have been all the info she needed to put her little plot in motion. Gosh, I sound terrible saying this, making Shirl sound like some sort of cold, calculating scorned woman. I could be completely wrong, too...except I know Shirley Feeney better than you, or Carmine, or anyone else. Is she capable of putting together such a plot, just to get back at Carmine and force him to dump his other girlfriend and come crawling back to her? Yep, you bet your bippy.

Oh, Lenny, you don't have to worry about us ever playing games like Shirley and Carmine. I hate games; they just lead to misery and I know you're way too honest and thoughtful to ever hurt me. I trust you, Lenny. I trust you completely. I know that you and I still have a lot of getting-to-know-you to do, but I hope that you'll soon feel like you're able to trust me just as much. As for the guys here in Italy? Yeah, some of them are pretty nice looking and friendly, for sure. They love girls from America over here. But you can relax, because none of them are competition for you. I'm not looking for an Adonis, Len. I'm looking for much, much more.

Okay, so here's the advice I got from my little old aunties, or at least what I think was advice...their English isn't so great. They said, "Laverne, when love is standing in front of you, don't show it your back." Which I think means that when you find the guy you love, don't go running off to foreign countries to avoid it. Except I did. And, I'm sorry.

Lenny, I've been a chicken, but I'm not gonna be anymore. I've been here a long time and I've figured out some stuff about us, and about me. I didn't really leave because we got physical so fast; it was because of how you made me feel inside. You started to convince me that I was beautiful, and smart, and brave, and all the other stuff you told me I was. That scared me to death, because I'm not that perfect, pretty girl you think I am and I was so afraid you'd realize it. So I ran, Len, I ran from you before you could see the truth. I didn't want you to start seeing the real me, the person I see when I look in the mirror every morning. Because that person is in no way, shape, or form perfect, and she certainly isn't good enough for you.

Hang on, before you start yelling and shaking your head, and telling me how wrong I am - I know! You're right, I know I'm too hard on myself. And I know that I was wrong to run and wrong to worry that you'd ever see the sad, sometimes mean, frequently foolish, often petty little girl that I see. I've realized that you CAN'T see her, because you love me and it is because you love me that I'm no longer that girl...so how could you possibly ever see her? You have remade me by loving me, so now I can see myself through your eyes. And the girl I see IS worthy of you and she IS capable of making you happy. She certainly wants the chance, if you'll let her.

I'm coming home soon. The next time we "speak," it will be in person. It's gonna be tougher to say these words rather than write them, so here it goes: I love you, Lenny. I love every, goofy inch of you, and I promise I'll never hurt you or betray you or play games with your head. I WILL live up to your image of me, because you make me want to be worthy of you. You are the kindest, gentlest, sweetest soul I've ever met and damn everyone else who doesn't see it! I want to be your girl.


So there it is, strings and all. I can't wait to see you, and at the same time, I'm terrified to look into your eyes again. I'm going to need your help, Len, to make me brave. I'm going to need your love.

You give me goosebumps,

Laverne


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