Part 5: Lenny's Lament

It took Lenny forever to find the phone book and look up a local hospital. He called and got transferred three times until he was connected to their ambulance service. All the while, he stared at his watch and imagined that every minute that ticked by was another minutes less that Carmine had to live.

How in the hell could this be happening? He ran out of the kitchen, past the confused cook and back out to the main restaurant. Laverne was right; Carmine was the picture of health. How could his heart just give out? It reminded him of how he felt when Dr. Quackenbush told him he was a goner. Just something that was happening, out of nowhere, no good reason or justification necessary.

He skidded to a halt behind the counter and watched as Laverne breathed into Carmine's mouth, then moved back to press her hands against his chest, counting out loud in a tearful voice. Carmine didn't look like he'd stirred since Lenny left the room. He just kept lying there, eyes closed, face white as a sheet. His heart sank as a realization struck him.

Maybe it's not random chance. Maybe you literally broke the guy's heart.

He shook his head, trying to shake the thought away, but it stuck. He hadn't bothered to find out if Carmine was really in love with Laverne when he dug in his heels and decided to stay between them. Laverne told him again and again that it wasn't a love thing, beyond friend-love, just mutual comfort and enjoyment. But maybe that was on her side only. Maybe Carmine had fallen hard for her and losing her had broken something inside him. After Shirley, it wasn't too far-fetched to believe he'd been pushed to the edge.

Geeze, what if I tipped him over? Lenny covered his mouth with his hand and bit his forefinger.

The guilt had been eating him alive over the past months. As happy as he was whenever he and Laverne were together, there was this thing between them, this Truth with a capital T that made it impossible to totally rejoice. Even when he proposed - oh, God, and that was right in front of poor Carmine!

He'd wanted to tell her he'd just found out it was a mistake first, that he was going to live. That had been the plan and then, well, it wouldn't be like he lied; just put off the Truth for a little bit. Vernie was good and in love with him, she'd be happy and still want to marry him, of that he was certain. But, somehow, once he had that ring burning in his pocket, he couldn't bring himself to jinx it in any way. He'd just dived right into the proposal, with the Truth kicking him in the nuts through the whole thing.

"Laverne, I called the ambulance and they're on the way. You know, they really outghta come up with some shortcut for callin' those things in emergencies, like a two or three digit code...anyway, how is he?"

Laverne looked up and, just for a moment, she glared at him like he'd somehow pissed her off. But it must have only been her worry, because her expression shifted into one of concern and fear. "Oh, Len, I don't know. He won't wake up and his heartbeat's getting weaker. I...I don't think he's gonna make it."

No. No way. This couldn't be happening. He came around the counter and raked his fingers through his hair. His hand trembled. "He's got to, Laverne."

She rocked back on her haunches and covered her face. "Oh, Len, this is awful. I love him!" She peered at him from between her fingers. "I mean, not the same way I love you, but he's been my friend forever. How many favors has he done for me, hell, for all of us over the years? How many times has he come through?"

"Lots." Lenny felt tears stinging his ducts. "He's done stuff for us I'm not even supposed to know about." Like given up his girl 'cause he thought I was the dying one. He felt genuinely sick inside.

"You're right," said Laverne, nodding. Tears spilled out of her eyes and his heart turned to goo. He hated to see her in such pain. "And now he's lyin' here helpless and I can't save him, Len. I tried, but...." She stroked Carmine's hair and kissed his cheek.

"Where is that stupid ambulance?" Lenny snapped his head around to stare at the door. "Maybe we should just carry him out to the car and drive him to the hospital ourselves."

"No!" Laverne threw out her hand in a stop-right-there motion. She got a strange look on her face. "Uh, I mean, it's probably not safe to move him in this condition."

"Yeah, you're right." Lenny covered his face and groaned, then pounded his forehead. Come on, Carmine, he urged, you're tougher than this. You're the Big Ragoo, for cryin' out loud! Don't give up now.

Laverne leaned closer to Carmine. She gasped and held her hand under his nose. Then she pressed her ear against his chest. "Oh. Oh, no!"

"What? What!" Lenny hurried over to her side, heart thudding so fast he thought it might give out, too.

She looked up at him, her face streaked with mascara and tears. "I think he stopped breathing. And - I can't feel his heartbeat no more."

Lenny staggered back until he hit a chair, then fell into it awkwardly. "No! Laverne, you gotta be wrong. He can't be...."

"I think he is." She began to cry harder. "He's gone, Len. Carmine's gone."

Time seemed to freeze around them. Lenny stared down at Carmine, who certainly was pale and still enough to be a corpse. He couldn't see his chest rising anymore and had to fight the urge to scream or throw up. All he could manage to say was, "Dear God."

Laverne burst into loud tears. She threw herself over Carmine's body. "Carmine, no! I'm so sorry. I can't believe you won't be around no more!"

"No more dum-de-de-dum-dum knock," murmured Lenny.

"No more Rags to Riches," sobbed Laverne.

A million moments flashed through Lenny's mind. He and Carmine may not have been best buds like him and Squiggy, but they'd spent some quality time over the years, knocking back beers, cheering the Packers, bowling. Just hanging out at the girls' apartment, here and back in Milwaukee. He'd alternately liked the guy, been jealous of him, wished to be more like him and, yeah, sometimes prayed he'd just go away. But not like this. Never like this.

"Oh, Len, it hurts so much." Laverne raised her face, weeping like an abandoned baby. "I can't believe this is happening. I'm gonna miss him so much. And how are we gonna tell everyone? His family, our friends. Shirley."

Shirley. Oh, crap. Lenny cradled his head in his hands, afraid it might explode. He was crying now, too, unable to stop himself. It hurt so much he had to let it out. "Shirl's poor little heart'll shatter into a million pieces. Oh, Laverne, this is all my fault!"

Laverne snuffled. "How d'you figure that?"

"I never thought this would happen. I figured Carmine'd just move on, like he always did, and we'd be together, finally, and it'd all just work out." A sob choked off the rest of his sentence.

Laverne sighed, an oddly angry sound. He peered at her around his hands and saw her take her coat off the back of her chair. She leaned over and kissed Carmine once more on the forehead, then carefully covered him from head to waist with her jacket. She huddled next to him, knees clasped to her chest and rocked, crying.

She really loved him, he thought, for once without any jealousy. He believed Laverne when she said it wasn't an in-love kind of thing. For a moment, he imagined it was him lying under that coat, the guy he was sure she was in-love love with. If she's this upset over Carmine, how much would she be shredded if I died?

He wondered if she thought of that herself, if she imagined that very thing from time to time when they were together, or when she was in bed at night. Did she picture what it'd be like to say goodbye for the last time? Did she imagine the funeral? The pain he saw lurking in her eyes whenever they were together, no matter how much other fun they were having. Was it the thought of it ending like this that put it there?

No, you selfish prick, he thought, you did. You and your lies. You let her dread this every damned day. You're letting her suffer with it right now, when she's already lost someone for real!

He had to stop it. He had to ease whatever pain he could, right exactly now.

Lenny stood up slowly and made his way to Laverne's side. Kneeling, he briefly laid his hand on the top of Carmine's head. "Goodbye, my friend," he said, softly. "I'm sorry I did you wrong. But I'm gonna do the right thing now, in your honor, and I hope you know it somehow. I hope it brings you peace."

Laverne blinked at him. "Why, whatever are you talkin' about, Len?"

Lenny wiped his tears and cleared his throat. He looked her straight in those amazing emerald eyes and said, "Laverne, there's something I've been waiting to tell you." He shook his head, angry at himself for trying, even now, to make himself sound better. "No, that's not it. There's something I've been keeping from you, on purpose, for the past month or so. It's big and it's so wrong. I get that now and I'm sorry. I won't blame you if you spit in my eye and never want to see me again, but I can't let you hurt one little bit more than you do now because of me. Not anymore."

Laverne took a ragged breath. Her tears had stopped and she stared at him with such hardness that he was taken aback. "Just say it already."

"Um, okay." Oh, this is going to be tough. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, unable to bear her steady gaze. "Laverne, I'm not dying. I thought I was, the dumbass doctor told me I was, but then he figured out he'd read the wrong chart or some stupid thing and I'm not. I'm not even sick. I'm fine."

"Well. Ain't that a shock."

Lenny opened his eyes. She didn't sound surprised at all.

Laverne was glaring at him with such intensity that he crawled back a couple paces. He opened his mouth to respond, but only an odd squeak came out.

"That's right," she said, nodding. "I know."

"Y...you do?" She just kept on glaring. "But how?"

"I'm a genius," she snapped. She wiped at the teary streaks on her face with the back of her hand and stood up. "Oh, wait, no I'm not. I'm a total sucker. An idiot. A fool."

"No, you're not any of those things!" Lenny scrambled to his feet. "Laverne, you're the most wonderful, beautiful, smartest...."

She slapped him. Hard. Wound up first, to make sure it hurt.

It did.

As he rubbed his stung cheek, she screamed, "How could you do this to me, you selfish, lying bastard! How could you make me love you, promise to make me your wife for as long as we had left together, and make me think I was gonna lose you any day now! Do you really hate me that much for not getting with you all these years?"

"No, no! That's...I don't hate you. I could never...I love you, Laverne." He clasped his hands against his chest. "With my whole heart, I love you so much. I didn't mean for it to go this long, to get so out of control, but we were doin' so good, Laverne, everything was so perfect, I...just didn't want to ruin it." Like this, he added in his head.

"You conned me, you son of a bitch." She laughed as fresh tears welled up in her eyes. She savagely rubbed them away, as if punishing her eyes for betraying her. "You got me good, Len. You wanted me? Well, you got me. You owned my heart. Well played, Kosnowski." She made with the Slow Clap of Sarcasm.

Lenny winced. "Laverne, please, you gotta understand. I really did think the end was near." She snorted. "I did! I can prove it. I'll give you Quackenbush's phone number...but no, you're right. I did find out awhile ago."

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you known. Exactly!" She hissed the last word.

He ran the math and mumbled, "Um, about five months now."

"Five," her voice caught in her throat. She clenched her fists and pressed them against her cheeks. "Five entire months of lying to my face every damned day. Even when you proposed - oh, my God." She turned away from him, quaking from head to toe.

He took a step toward her and nearly stepped on Carmine's hand. The reality of their present situation slammed into his gut and he said, "Laverne, this is all too much at once. We need to talk about it, for sure, but this really isn't the time. We gotta focus on Carmine and telling everyone." He glanced down at his watch. "Wow, the ambulance service in Los Angeles really stinks."

"It's just fine, actually. Unless someone calls to cancel."

Lenny looked up, startled, as Squiggy swaggered in from the entryway. He blinked. "Squig? How long you been standing there?"

"Longer than you think, Matchivelli."

"Machiavelli," Laverne muttered.

"Him, too." Squiggy strolled over, stopping near Carmine's feet. He looked down with an odd little grin on his face.

"Squig." How was he supposed to break this to the little guy? He was so sensitive underneath his steely exterior. "I got some terrible news."

"Carmine's dead," said Squiggy. "What a shame."

Lenny blinked at his cold response. "Well, yeah. I mean, I know you guys weren't super good friends or nothin', but show a little respect."

"Respect? Is that the word you just used?" Squiggy's voice went up an octave. "You dare speak to me about friendship and respect at a time like this?"

"Uh, well, yeah." No matter how many times Carmine shoved Squiggy into a locker or stole his lunch money back in high school, even he couldn't be this cavalier about the guy dropping dead before his thirtieth birthday.

"Hm, well, let's talk about best friends and respect, then, since you brought 'em up," said Squiggy. "Let's talk about a guy who let his best friend live in mortal fear of losing him for - what was it, five months, Laverne?"

She folded her arms under her breasts. "Yeah, Squig. You got that right."

Lenny felt a chill go down his spine. He heard. Oh, geeze. "Squig, you gotta let me explain."

"Oh, I heard your explanation. Very moving. I especially liked the part about how you was gonna maybe say somethin' to your betrothed here but not one damned word to the guy who always had your back! You two-faced, no good, lying piece of..."

"All right! I get it!" Lenny raised his hands to the heavens. "I am a liar! I suck! I'm the most evil thing that ever crawled out of a swamp!"

"Keep going," said Squiggy.

"But does that really matter right now?" He waved his hand at the body on the floor. "Carmine. Is. Dead! Really and truly, and it's awful! Meanwhile, the two of you are actin' like it's not the biggest thing going on in here!"

It hit him then, like an avalanche beating him into the ground. Like a real death is no big thing compared to my fib about dying.

A real death....

His hands dropped limply to his sides. Very slowly, he raised his eyes to meet Squiggy's, then Laverne's. They both looked back at him wearing the same expression a cat had once it devoured a particularly fat mouse.

"Son of a bitch." It was all he could say.

Carmine sat up and pulled Laverne's coat away from his face. He tilted his head back casually. "Did you enjoy that? Feel real good to watch an innocent girl's heart break over losing someone she loved?"

Lenny's throat constricted and his skin felt too tight across his face. In a voice he hardly recognized as his own, he said, "You're fine?"

"As fine as you," Carmine snarled.

"And all of this, the heart attack," he looked over at Laverne, "the desperate attempt at resuscitation, the tears. All for my benefit."

She sneered at him. "We got you almost as good as you got us for these past months of hell."

"Yeah. You sure did." He turned to Squiggy. "This your idea?"

"I am proud to say it was," said Squiggy, his eyes two little burning coals.

A part of him stayed sane enough to wonder how and when they'd found out. But most of him turned a corner in his mind he didn't realize was still there, sending him down a corridor that grew darker as he progressed.

Carmine hopped up and dusted himself off. He handed Laverne her coat. "Thanks for that. I was getting lightheaded holding my breath for so long."

"I figured it'd cover up the facts nicely," she said, her cold eyes still locked on Lenny. "Almost as good as my fiancé, this coat."

"I thought you died," said Lenny. His voice echoed in his ears, flat, almost casual. "I thought I watched one of my friends drop dead and it was my fault. I was so sad."

"Yeah? I'm touched," said Carmine. He patted a few stray curls back into place.

Lenny shook his head back and forth slowly. "Let's talk about you for a minute, there, Carmine. You went along with this 'cause...why, exactly? Righteous fury on behalf of your friend, Laverne?"

"Exactly." Carmine cracked his knuckles, the expression on his still-weirdly pale face smug. Lenny itched to wipe it right off, but kept his hands relaxed by his sides.

"Right. 'Cause I lied."

"Pretty much."

"And you'd never do that, now, would you." He nodded at Laverne. "Certainly you wouldn't, Laverne. Not about anything important."

Laverne's face remained beet-red. Her voice cracking, she said, "I told you about that."

"Yeah. Right from the start." He snapped his fingers. "Oh, wait. No you didn't. You waited almost...was it five months?"

"More like," she hesitated, "three or four."

"Oh. I see. Big difference there."

"What are you implying, Len?" Carmine stepped into Lenny's personal space and, even though he was the one looking up, somehow still managed to be intimidating.

Lenny was too crushed inside to care much, though. What else could be taken from him at this point? His best friend was glaring at him like he was a roach that should be crushed under his heel. Laverne would never marry him now, let alone spend another minute by his side, and she was his whole heart. Carmine beating him into dust would be a kindness.

He returned Carmine's glare. "Pal, I ain't implying, I'm stating. You and Laverne were carrying on a torrid affair behind everyone's back and you lied to my damned face about it, even after Laverne and I started dating full-time. In fact, if I hadn't overheard this brainiac yakkin' it up with Laverne outside this very establishment about one of your little trysts," he jerked a thumb at Squiggy, "I still wouldn't have found out until the woman I loved confessed it," he drew a breath and delivered his verbal blow, "right before she agreed to sleep with me for the first time."

Something changed in Carmine's expression then. Despite all his insistence that there was nothing but friendship with benefits between him and Laverne, he looked - stung. Wounded, even. Considering what the guy had just put him through, it gave Lenny a little rush to see his words hit home.

"Y-you slept with him." Slowly, Carmine sought Laverne's eyes for confirmation. She avoided him for a few moments, but then reluctantly met his stare and gave a little shrug. Carmine quickly turned away from her and gazed intently at the floor. "Oh. Well, yeah, of course. I mean, you were with him for months and you love him and were gonna marry...I should've assumed."

"Oh, Carmine," she said, quietly. Then she shoved Lenny, but without enough force to move him. "You ass. You know I didn't want to rub it in his face."

"That why you kept your fling with him quiet, too? Didn't want to rub it in anyone's face?"

She arched an eyebrow. "That's exactly it. We didn't want to hurt you, what with you dying and all."

"Hey, it's okay. Whatever you and Carmine had going was your own business. Don't matter now how long it went on, right? Tell me, did you even wait until Shirley left town?" He scoffed. "Don't matter, I guess, any more than it matters that you had one last go at it when you was already supposedly with me."

Laverne cast her eyes downward. "We hadn't made any promises about anything yet, Len. You know that. It's not like once I was with you I kept on going with Carmine."

"Says you." Okay, that was a low blow; he knew she'd been faithful. Probably.

"What does any of this have to do with anything else?" Squiggy demanded, glaring at each of them in frustration. "Laverne slept with Lenny, Laverne slept with Carmine, who cares? The point is that you lied to me!"

Lenny looked down at him. "You're right. I did. And you not only lied to me about Carmine and Laverne, you didn't keep your promise to keep my condition from them in the first place!" Squiggy mumbled something, but he ignored it. "Is it any wonder that I didn't trust you enough to tell you the truth? You'd probably have blabbed it right to Laverne."

"And so what if I did?" Squiggy retorted. "She had a right to know somethin' like that, for dog's sake!"

"It was my news to tell!" Lenny said. "Not yours, no one else's! Do you, any of you, have any idea what it was like for me, thinkin' I was gonna die some miserable, awful death? All alone, no one but Mr. Dependable here by my side, maybe, if he felt like it?"

The trio at least had the grace to look a little guilt-stricken. Their expressions reminded him that he was no innocent in this, either, and he lowered his voice. "Look, I was scared. Then I was resigned. Then I changed my life for the better. Suddenly, I had dough to spend, 'cause I couldn't take it with me. I had the woman I've wanted for, like, ever and we fell in love. And then, blammo!"

He clapped his hands. "Outta nowhere, I find out it's all based on a stupid mix-up. Five minutes after that, I find out that my girlfriend and my best friend and my," he waved at Carmine, "whatever you are to me, all lied to me so that I could pity-date Laverne. Tell me, guys, how good would your decision-making be after all that, huh?"

Silence fell. The three of them exchanged uncertain looks. Finally, Laverne said, "It wasn't all about pity. Maybe at first, but," she glanced up at him, eyes glistening, "you know that's not what it's been about for a long time now."

And here he thought his heart couldn't break into any more pieces. He sniffled and said, "Maybe not. And you did finally tell me about you and Carmine without me bringin' it up. I swear, I would have told you about my miracle, too, Laverne. I just didn't know how. No time ever seemed right."

"How about before you promised to marry me, for better or worse, in sickness or in health?"

He gulped. "Yeah. That did seem right. But, I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"That you'd be off the hook then," he whispered. "So you'd say no and that'd be the end of us. Maybe you'd just go back to Carmine. But, I know you're a good Catholic girl, Vernie."

She shrugged and ducked her head. "That could be disputed." Squiggy snorted.

Lenny went on, "Good enough that once we made a commitment, you'd stay committed, no matter what I said."

Oh, my God. Hearing it out loud, so blunt and matter-of-fact? He was horrified by himself. What have I become?

"Wow," said Squiggy, echoing his thoughts. "That's cold. When'd you turn cold, Len?"

A heavy silence fell again. He couldn't bear to look at Laverne, or anyone else. Unable to bear it, he said, "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Selfish and mean and wrong, to all of you. I get that now."

Carmine inhaled deeply, let his breath out very slowly. "I guess we could've found a more mature way to confront you about it than this dog-and-pony show." He said it like the words were shards of glass in his mouth.

"We was just so mad at you," said Squiggy. He fidgeted. "You really got to me with this dyin' thing and then you didn't make it better when you could've."

"I know." Lenny went over and put his hands on Squiggy's shoulders. The little guy squirmed but stayed put. "I'm really sorry about that, Squig. You're my best friend and I didn't take your feelings into account, only my own. I stink on ice."

"Yeah you do." But Squiggy managed a little grin when he said it.

"We thought we were doing the right thing, not telling you about us," said Carmine. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Laverne and me, we felt awful for what you were going through and the only thing we could think to do was let you have your time with Laverne. You're right, it was a sympathy thing, but our intentions were good."

Lenny nodded. "I know that, Carmine. I really do. I was just so shocked and hurt to find out you were together, and I thought it meant that Vernie'd go right back to you as soon as she heard." He shifted his gaze to Laverne and smiled, despite his grief. "I didn't give you much credit, did I?"

"You sure didn't," she murmured.

"I just couldn't believe you'd ever really care about me."

"Love you," Laverne stated flatly. "I love you."

He took some heart in that she didn't use the past tense. "I just love you so much, so completely, that I panicked. And when I panic, I do dumb stuff. But that don't excuse it. I did you wrong, most of all, and I am so beyond sorry, there's no word I know that can express it. I'll never stop bein' sorry for hurting you." He took a deep breath and braced himself. "I can do this, though." He held out his hand.

"What's that for?" she asked, still sounding suspicious.

"For you to give me back the ring," he said. "I'm lettin' you out of your promise, 'cause it was made under false pretendses. I'm settin' you free, Laverne. You go back to your life and to your man," he nodded to Carmine, "the guy who didn't lie and hurt you. You have my blessing."

She stared at his hand, and let her eyes travel up his arm until she met his eyes. Then she drew closer - and kicked him in the shin.

"Um, ow." He hopped and rubbing his sore leg.
"You dumb nut," said Laverne. "You set me free? You give me your blessing? What are you, my father now? I decide who I'm gonna be with and I don't need your blessing or anyone else's! Carmine and I." She hesitated and looked over at Carmine.

He gave her a gentle smile and nodded. She returned her eyes to Lenny's. "We had what we had and it was good. But it wasn't forever. It was never supposed to be." She took another step toward him. He started to back up to avoid another blow, but this time she merely took his hands. "It's not what we have, Len."

He hardly dared to breathe, afraid to interrupt this moment in any way. "You mean...we could? Have forever?"

She smiled and his shattered heart reassembled itself like magic. "If you still want me. No expiration date this time."

"No lies," he swore, then added, "no doubts?"

She shook her head. "There's no one else. Not for me."

"God, but I love you, Laverne." Fresh tears trickled out of the corners of his eyes but he didn't care. He'd never been so happy, not even when he proposed and she accepted the first time, because this time, there was no guilt, no hidden Truth between them. Only love.

"I love you, too, Lenny." She wrapped her arms around his neck. He lowered his lips to hers and the rest of the world might as well have spun away into a black hole. All that mattered, all there was, were him and Laverne. It was perfect.

"Well. Isn't this just...something."

Laverne released him and spun around, even as Carmine nearly gave himself whiplash doing the same.

Squiggy said, "Hey, that sounds familiar," and swiveled as well. "Oh, hey, if it isn't Shirley Feeney-Meaney, bo-beany!" he said, cheerily, and waved.

"Oh. My God," said Carmine. He swayed and Lenny thought he might go down with a real heart attack this time.

"Shirl?" Laverne took a tentative step toward her old roommate and best friend. "Is that you?" She sounded cautiously thrilled.

"Yes. It's me." Shirley shot her a look so withering it was no wonder Laverne froze mid-step.

"Why didn't you tell anyone you were coming for a visit?" Laverne asked.
"Because it was supposed to be a nice surprise," she said, voice so cold it was a wonder icicles didn't shoot out of her mouth. "Guess the surprise was on me, huh."

"Wh...when did you get here, Angel...Shirl?" Carmine said.

"Just at the right time, as it turns out," she said, tossing her hair. "You never did answer Leonard's question."

Carmine blinked and shook his head. "Uh, what question?"

"Oh, dear Lord," murmured Laverne. She covered her face with her hands.

"The one about exactly when you started sleeping with my best friend?" Shirley clenched her little fists and shouted it at him, then jerked her head to face Laverne, who wouldn't look up. "I can't believe this! I just can't...!" She pivoted and ran out the door.

They stood, stunned, for several moment in her wake. Carmine slowly looked back over his shoulder at Lenny, eyes wide with shock. If he was pale before, he looked ghostly now. "Did you know? That she was coming here?"

Lenny took a deep breath. He had to own this. "Uh, well, she did kinda call and say, uh, somethin' about a visit." He flapped his hands. "She wasn't specific or nothin'."

"When did she call?" Laverne demanded. "And why didn't you say anything?"

"Because, I-felt guilty, about takin' you from Carmine. So when you was in the bathroom and the phone rang and it was Shirley, and she kinda probed me to find out what was up with Carmine, I told her he was free 'n' clear." He shrugged and addressed Carmine. "She said she was alone, too. Walter up and left her and she wanted to, you know, test the waters, see if you'd be up for seein' her. I said sure, figuring maybe you and her could pick up where you left off. Then we could all be, you know. Happy."

"He left her?" Carmine shook his head, like a man waking up from a nightmare. "Are you sure? But what about their baby?"

"Yeah, she had that, er, him. Apparently, that had somethin' to do with his leavin', but I didn't get any details. Carmine, I'm...."

Carmine ground his palms against his eyes and groaned loudly. Without another word, he ran out the door.

Laverne turned to look at him, her expression fierce. Lenny winced, arms dangling helplessly by his sides. "I was helping?" He offered an apologetic little shrug.

"Yeah. How's that workin' so far?" she snapped.

Squiggy clapped his hands in delight. "This is turning out better'n an episode of Peyton Place!"

"Maybe I can fix it," Lenny offered and started for the door, but Laverne intercepted him.

"No." She sighed and glanced back over her shoulder. "I got a feelin' that's something only the two of them can do. In the meantime." She swatted his behind. "You and I got wedding plans to finish. Although, I guess we don't exactly have to rush it no more."

He shook his head. "I guess not. Although, the sooner we're married the better, far as I'm concerned."

"Yeah, well, you owe me a best manship after all this, boyo," said Squiggy, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

"Deal," said Lenny. Squiggy's face lit up, which helped ease his lingering guilt.

I'm a lucky guy, Lenny thought. I got my girl, my friends' forgiveness and I get to live. There was nothing like looking the end of your days square in the face to give you a new lease on life. He'd misused the gift he'd been granted before, but never again. Somehow, he'd pay everyone back for the pain he'd so selfishly caused.

Hey, I got my happily ever after, he thought. Why shouldn't everyone?


--END--



To Part 4