Ordinary Things
Part 5
By Missy

SERIES: Ordinary Things

AUTHOR: Missy

EMAIL: lasfic@yahoo.com

PART: 5 of  8 (?)

RATING:  NC-17  (thematic material; Fmast)

PAIRING(s): L/L

DISTRIBUTION: To Myself so far; any other archives are welcome to ask, but disclaimers must be included, my email left intact. Send a URL, and provide full disclaimers as well as credit me fully. Please inform me if you are going to submit my work to any sort of search engine.  Please do not submit my work to a search engine that picks out random sets of words and uses them as key words, such as "Google"

 

Please contact me in order for this story to be placed on an archive, or if you want know of a friend who would enjoy my works, please email me their address and I will mail them the stories, expressly for the purpose of link trading. MiSTiers are welcomed! Please do inform me that you'd like to do the MiSTing, however, and send me a copy of the finished product. I'd also love to archive any MiSTings that are made of my work!

CATEGORY: Romance

FEEDBACK: PLEASE?!

SETTING IN TIMELINE: California - alternate for Mummy's Bride, and canon right up to Lenny's mock-proposal.

SPOILLER/SUMMARY: Laverne takes Lenny's final proposal far more seriously than he intended.  When Laverne's mock-wedding starts to take on way more meaning than she intended, Shirley begins to question the validity of her rushed nuptials to Doctor Walter Meaney.

NOTES: From something Kath told me about the proposal scene.

 

***

 

The sound of Shirley groaning brought Laverne to swift wakefulness from a deep sleep.  She stumbled out of bed and tapped on the bathroom door.  "Shirl?"  A heavy groan was her only answer.  "Should I call the d-Walter?"

 

Every word came out deliberately.  "No...this is normal..."

 

"I'm gonna go make some tea.  You want some crackers?"

 

Another moan.  Not quite sure what she could do for her friend, Laverne put on a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt, then headed downstairs to put a kettle on.

 

Waiting for water to boil had to be the most boring activity known to man.  She forced herself to ignore Shirley's groaning and poured a large bowl of Sugar Smackers, figuring that anything Shirley couldn't smell wouldn't hurt her.

 

As she sat down to a lonely breakfast, a teeny tiny part of Laverne was glad that it wasn't her up there, groaning over the toilet.  After taking an almost childish zeal in trying them out, lately she'd been lax in taking her pills since there wasn't a 'special guy' on the horizon.  Shirley's nightmarish morning sickness had encouraged Laverne right back on the responsibility wagon; she reached into the pocket of her robe, withdrew the plastic disc and took one with her morning tea.

 

By the time Laverne finished with her breakfast, Shirley staggered downstairs, tightly wrapped in her pink robe.  "Can I do anything?" Laverne fretted, helping her best friend to the couch and pulling a lap blanket over Shirley's prone form.

 

"No - this is just nature taking it's ugly course," Shirley grumbled, rubbing her eyes.  Laverne rushed into the kitchen and returned with a laundry-pan sized washtub, which they normally used to let their bathing suits drip-dry after a day on the beach.   Shirley rested it on the floor, in case of further gastric upset.  "Thank goodness it's Saturday - I can spend the day down here watching TV."

 

"Sounds like fun," Laverne grinned, vaulting into the side chair with a great amount of enthusiasm.  "First, we can watch Sky King, then Howdy Doody, then Double Indemnity's on the Afternoon Movie!"

 

"Barbara Stanwyke is so awful in that film," Shirley shuddered.

 

Laverne shrugged.  "Murders are supposed to be awful."

 

"True."  Shirley closed her eyes and - with the utmost carefulness - rolled onto her right side, facing the TV.  While Laverne eagerly watched Sky King, her best friend fell to sleep.

 

Laverne kept an eye on her drawn-looking best friend, but her worry over Shirley couldn't stop her childish enthusiasm for Saturday morning TV.  When Clarabelle Clown appeared on her set, someone began to knock on her door.  Laverne gingerly shut off the set and slipped over to answer it.

 

Though she was no mystic, Laverne could have predicted who was standing there.  "Lenny?" she wondered.

 

He stood on her doorstep in his best suit, bearing a handful of daisies and a wide grin.  "Hey, Vernie," he yelped, "you busy?"

 

She shoved him into the hallway and closed the door behind her.  "Shirley's sleeping, be quiet!"

 

"Oh," Lenny whispered, "sorry!  Can you come out today?"

 

Laverne bit down on her lower lip.  Shirley would probably sleep all afternoon - she didn't have a date lined up and being alone didn't sound like a worthwhile way to spend a nice afternoon.  "Where do you wanna go?"

 

"Well, we still got a million things to talk about when it comes to the wedding..."

 

Tension yanked her head up.  "We've talked about the cake, the flowers, the invitations, the guest list, the honeymoon, the favors, the dresses, the groomsmen and bridesmaids, the band, the reception site, the church, the minister, the limos, the pictures and the food.  What else do we gotta talk about?"

 

He thrust out his daisy-filled hand and said.  "About when we're gonna spend some time together alone."

 

"Lenny..." she eyed the daisies.  "Did you get these outta my window box?"

 

"Yeah - this was kinda spur-of-the-miniature."  She cautiously took the daisies, examining them for bugs while he stood back, wide-eyed.  "You wanna go to the park?  I'll bring my guitar - you can bring yours."

 

Laverne tilted her head and looked at him.  What sort of mind-trick was he trying to pull on her?  She resisted the temptation to lower the boom on their little game.  "I guess.  You wanna drive out to Griffith?  It's nicer than Columbus beach," Laverne pointed out. 

 

Lenny thought briefly.  "Okay.  Get your guitar and meet me at the truck.  We can busk for honeymoon mad money!"

 

"All right," Laverne said lightly.  She slipped inside, grabbed her guitar and purse, and locked the door behind her for Shirley's safety.

 

Laverne wondered what she was doing as she headed outside.  For someone who wasn't interested in what Lenny was offering she was spending a lot of time with him.  Not a new development in a relationship that had always involved a lot of hanging out.

 

She wasn't accepting marriage from him, she reminded herself for the millionth time in the past few days  - the wedding would never take place.  Lenny knew it, and she knew it, they were both just having too much fun teasing each other.  And she was having way too much fun being teased, Laverne admitted to herself silently.  Soon, she would let him down easy - but not too easy, she thought, remembering his jibes about her 'old maid' stateus. 

 

Her smile held an edge of determined viciousness when she saw him next.

 

***

 

Griffith Park was overcrowded with dancers, musicians and dope sellers, all "grooving" out in the summer heat.  Leftover beatniks melded with mod children who stared at plucked marigolds with the deep hope they might spout the wisdom of the universe.

 

Laverne loved this place, mostly because it was filled with wild noise and interesting people.  "Lookit that, lookit this!" she exclaimed as she dragged Lenny through clusters of gathered teenagers, all of whom waved at them happily.

 

Lenny, slightly shyer, shrunk back and offered them a wave or two.  There was another reason they couldn't be together, Laverne thought.  He was so meek, and she needed a bold man who wasn't afraid of taking what he wanted.  Maybe she'd read too many romance novels, she chastised herself, because not every man she dated fit that criteria.  He hung back as she parted the crowds and found them a bare spot on a grass-covered hill near a pecan tree.  They sat down opposite one another under the shade of the tree and settled their guitars in their laps.

 

Laverne watched Lenny tune his instrument, still unsure about how to do the same thing with hers.  Laverne fiddled with the knobs on the neck of it, causing the much dreaded TWANG of a guitar string shattering to puncture the air.

 

"You got a spare?" she asked him.

 

Lenny reached into the back pocket of his pants and withdrew a long silver strand and held it out to her.  Unthreading the broken string, she carefully replaced it.

 

"What do you know?" she asked, carefully strumming.  Her guitar made a cool, clear noise in the chatter-clouded air.

 

"I can fake almost anything," Lenny said, resting his thumb against the fretboard.  "Whattya know?"

 

"Some Beatles, some Stones, some Dylan, a little classical..."

 

"How about 'Like a Rolling Stone'?"

 

She nodded.  "Okay..."  that was one of the few songs she knew from memory - and as she made the first chord with her right hand, she realized Lenny knew that and had selected the song just because she knew it.

 

"One, two, three," he counted for her.  Eyes closed, Laverne joined him, her right hand moving automatically down the neck as her left strummed.  Lenny sang – Laverne’s ability to do two things at once had been robbed from her.

 

And it was like magic, playing with him.  Musically, they'd always fit well together, even though Lenny had more experience and a nicer singing voice than she did; she could sing low and slip around and beneath the hitch in his baritone, making the counterpoints of their voices mix well together.  When they hit the bridge, she looked toward him to see if she was doing as well as she believed; Lenny caught her eye with a big smile - and she grinned back without thinking.

 

As the song finished, she wondered why she couldn't find such perfect rhythm with anyone else.  They locked eyes, and he finished with one dramatic strum across the frets.

 

It was the applause that startled them out of their private world; a small gathering had watched them play and sing, and threw flowers at their feet in tribute.  Lenny smiled and bowed his head in response; Laverne remained absorbed in Lenny and barely waved to their enthusiasm.

 

"Do you know 'Scarborough Fair'?" Lenny asked.

 

"No," she admitted. 

 

"It's easy.  C D Db C D C D F."

 

"What?"

 

"Doncha know how to read music?" he gaped at her

 

Laverne drew herself up straight and true.  "I play by ear."

 

"Tin ear," he teased when she frowned.  "Yanno, we sound good together," he added, tuning his guitar a step lower. 

 

"Yeah," she admitted, surprised by the shyness tingling over her skin.

 

"That's good.  When we get married we can play together any time you want."

 

Instead of dignifying that with a response, she said, "C, D?"

 

"Yeah," he said roughly.  "C."

 

They spent most of the afternoon teaching each other songs; for every Beatles number he knew by heart there was a Kinks song he couldn't quite master the fingering for.  At around two she noticed her stomach was grumbling.

 

"Can you get us some hot dogs?" she asked, reaching into her purse.  "I got cash..."

 

"I got enough," Lenny said.  "Wanna soda?"

 

"Pepsi, please."

 

"Okay.  Watch Mister Chimey for me," he requested.

 

It took her a few moments to realize that 'Mister Chimey' was his guitar - and not his penis.  The childlike name he'd given the instrument brought Laverne back to reality, reminding her that another strike against Lenny was his immaturity, and that she wanted a to marry a grown-up.

 

Like her Pop.

 

She winced sourly.  No,  nothing like judgmental, pressuring, dour Frank.  Well, maybe kind like him - generous, protective - loving...

 

Like Lenny?

 

Laverne lay down in the grass and looked blindly at the cloud-frosted sky.  What was really so bad about Lenny, in the big scope of life?  Hygiene and morality issues aside, of course, she winced.  Why had she only contemplated marriage to him in her most desperate hours when she'd dated thieves and gang members?  Was she that fixated on finding a big, tough, strong hero who would take her away from the drudgery of Bardwells and make her a mommy?   Did she have a thing for authority figures?

 

Shirley, in one of her moments of pop psychological insight, had claimed to Laverne that she had the inverse of a Madonna/whore complex.  "You could call it a saint/bastard complex in your case," Shirleys said, blushing on using the latter word.  Was that true?  Did she paint every man she met as either a protecting hero or a pulse-increasing villain?

 

Lenny interrupted her thoughts with a round of hot dogs and soda.  "Thanks," she smiled, taking her food from his open palms and blushing when they made contact. 

 

If she had a saint/bastard complex, why did it feel good to touch him?

 

 

***

 

"You wanna go home?"

 

She wiped her ketchup-stained mouth with the back of her hand.  "It's only 5."

 

"That's close enough to sunset.  We can watch it go down together," he said.   She put the suggestion out of her mind for the next hour as they finished swapping repertoires.  After they'd finished the wisdom exchange, Lenny took the guitars back to the truck and returned to sit with her.

 

As he sat down, he grabbed her around the waist and pulling her close to him.  Her face collided with his shoulder and she endured the embrace; sweat had dampened his shirt, and she could feel the moisture through her thin plaid shirt.  His cologne assaulted her  nose, and his hands were greasy from the French fries they'd shared.

 

But she had to admit it felt nice to rest against his belly, to feel his heart beat against her shoulder blade and listen to his breath billow into her ear.

 

"I can't see the sunset," she pointed out, and gently Lenny turned her around.

 

The sky was golden-orange, with cotton-candy colored clouds, the sun blood colored as it descended.  It was startlingly beautiful.

 

Lenny remarked,  "you ever see a sun that big?"

 

"The sun's always big."

 

"I mean - it makes me feel real tiny next to it.  Yanno, like a ladybug.  Or a tapeworm."

 

"Eww."

 

"It's beautiful, and I'm glad I'm sharing it with someone pretty like you."

 

The romance in his voice made her feel horribly guilty, but their gazes met, and suddenly it felt right to incline her head as his descended.  

 

She leaned in toward him, his plump lips parting slightly as they touched.  Her tongue slipped into his mouth just as his cleared her teeth.  His hand ghosted over her jaw and through her hair to rest on the back of her neck.

 

Her body softened, moistened; her nipples erected.  She felt comfortable enough to lie in his arms for the rest of her life and aroused enough  to unzip and take him right there in front of the strangers walking the nearby bike path.  Kissing him was such a strangely natural act that it felt like the first step toward a bed and his body on hers...

 

They broke apart, lungs aching for air.  He looked down at her as if she were precious, delicate, and rare - as if letting go of her would be a big mistake.

 

"Wanna come up to my place?" Lenny asked, his voice deep with a new arousal.

 

She nodded.

 

***

 

The drive back to Laurel Vista seemed interminable, made worse by the usual Saturday evening flux of traffic tying to make it in to Hollywood.  Cars bleared by them, honking erratically and Lenny shouted rude, coarse things out the window in his frustration.  But they shared no words, too wrapped up in their private agonies, the pulsing of their private flesh and the promise of what might happen.

 

They found home and parked, and without another word walked up to Lenny's deserted apartment.

 

She stood on the cluttered living room floor while he nervously turned on the overhead lights and took off his jacket.  Laverne felt every muscle in her body tense as she waited for him to grab her - to throw her down on the bed and end the agonizing tension.  Instead, he pulled out a chair at his kitchen table and pulled out a pack of cards, then dealt her a hand.

 

"Gin," he said.

 

The tension in her body became agonized.  "WHAT?"

 

"Let's play cards."

 

"Why?"

 

He licked his lips nervously.  "I just wanna!"

 

She sat down  and took the hand he dealt.  "Why don't we make a little wager to make this more interesting?"

 

His eyebrow rose.  "Sounds dangerous."

 

She leaned over the table.  "Why don't we make a bet?"

 

"You mean like the time I had to eat a whole jar of hot peppers 'cause I bet on the Blue Jays when Squig picked the Dodgers?"

 

"Yeah, but a lot less painful," she said.  "Best two out of three."

 

"Okay - what's the wager?"

 

She thought for a moment, then leaped at the chance.  "If I win," she said, "we break off this engagement."

 

"Okay.  If I win," Lenny said, "we do it."

 

She almost choked on her own tongue. 

 

"Laverne?" he worried.  "I don't wanna make you do something you don't wanna do.  You can say no, and nothing'll change."

 

But she wanted something, her bouncing nerves demanded succor - a day filled with intimacy and shared interests had left her open to him in every way.  "Let's do this."

 

She played surprisingly well for a woman well-distracted by her own libido.  Then again, Lenny was a horrible bluffer and an even worse card player.  She beat him easily in the first hand, and the second.

 

It all came down to this.  She didn't want to make him feel bad, so she threw the hand.  That led to another - to another thrown hand, and an even break for Lenny.

 

She went into the sixth hand with confidence, never imagining that he had the wherewithal to beat her.  He asked her for sixes, she gave him one - she got an eight back from him.  She only needed a jack when he triumphantly put down his full house.

 

"Gin," he said.

 

Laverne stared at the cards laid out on the cheap folding table.  She looked up into his radiant face and back down at the cards, trying not to show how unnerved and pleased she was by this turn of events.

 

"So," he grinned, "you got a rubber?"

 

"I'm on the pill," she mumbled.  "Len?"

 

He leaned back in his chair, visibly hurt but relieved as well.  "Okay.  We can wait for the wedding night if you want."

 

She almost agreed, but there would be no wedding night with this man.  Maybe all they would have is one night of bliss before they broke apart their friendship, bitter because of the silliness of this game.  She made her choice by lurching across the table and kissed him - shutting their mouths, enrapturing them in the world they shared.

 

He pulled her forward, until she was lying belly-down on the table in the riff-raff of cards and other unidentifiable debris.  Her arms went around his neck, his hand went down her blouse.

 

Laverne's mind buzzed dizzily, but the reasoning, practical part of her acclaimed herself to what was about to happen.  So they would fuck, she decided.  She'd had casual sex before, without guilt or shame.  She could do the same with him - he'd get what he wanted, she'd get what she needed, it would be over - they would go back to being friends.

 

Then she would tell him the engagement was over.

 

Their bet provided her with a perfect excuse - he would be bad in bed, she would say they couldn't satisfy each other, they would break up, sadder but wiser.  The charade would be over and she could get back to her life as a swinging single in mod-ern California.

 

Her hand snuck under the table, patting the rising ridge in his pants.  "S'that a rocket in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

 

The front door flew open, abbreviated her question.  "Hello!" Squiggy yelled, dragging two suitcases.  He eyed the red-faced and panting couple as they pulled apart and Laverne clambered off the table.  "I told ya, Len - don't do bimbos on the table!  It leaves rings!"

 

Laverne's lips puckered in a display of nausea.  "I'm gettin out of here..."

 

"Laverne, don't go!  I got my tongue all limbered up!" Lenny yelled.

 

Squiggy stepped between the two of them, trapping Lenny in the apartment. "Waitaminute, I gotta show you my slides from Pewaukee!"

 

Laverne slammed the door as Lenny and Squiggy continued to argue, running back to her apartment and - for once - locking the door behind her.

 

She was alone - that would normally force her to worry about Shirley, but she'd taped a note to the lampshade.  Laverne: Morning sickness better, going out with Walter to see 'Gidget', be home by ten.  Love, Shirley.

 

It was only seven now - plenty of time to sulk.  Or, she thought, feeling the tension still lingering in her belly, something much more fun...

 

She stripped out of her clothing, tossing it all over the bedroom until she stood nude before her bed.  She sat down at the left side of it, opened her dresser drawer and dug beneath old copies of True Confession and wadded-up phone numbers to find her seven-inch vulcanized rubber pal, James Dean. 

 

James had been the third acquaintance Laverne had met in California, and his 'friendship' had outlasted Sonny's 'love' for her by months already.  People could complain about her about having too many boyfriends, but no one knew about James - well, except for Shirley.  THAT had been an interesting spring cleaning.  She slicked James up with Vaseline and plugged him in, remembering Shirley's cautioning words.  Don't use the high-speed too much, Laverne.  It'll make you go numb 'down there'.

 

Laverne smirked as she threw back the covers and squirmed between them.  James made her anything but numb 'down there' she thought, as she closed her eyes and immersed herself in her favorite fantasy, her left hand going to her breast and plucking the center of her right, gently.

 

The faceless man in her fantasy had her laid out on the beach, his muscular shoulders flexing as they French kissed.  His hand worked the zipper on her swimsuit down, revealing golden flesh to the rays of light painting their bodies.  His duty was to please her, so her spent minutes licking her nipples, blowing cool air and sucking on them until she began to writhe...

 

She was writhing now, too, both of her nipples puckered and tingling.  Her right hand drifted low and began to tease the rising flesh of her clit.

 

The man in her fantasy moved a little slower, kissing her thighs and all around her mons before placing his tongue in the ridge of her labia.  Slow little licks, up and down, before he found her clit and began to work it over with gentle suction and teasing tongue...

 

In real life, her fingers did all of the work - making her wet.  Making her throb.  She gabbed James from the nightstand and slid his slick length down her torso, over her clit, then deep into herself where her inner muscles flexed and released, flexed and released.   She didn't even need to turn James on, but she clicked him into first gear.  Flexing and releasing, she continued the fantasy.

 

Now the stranger was on her, in her, working his hips evenly and carefully.  Never was he too rough or too soft - never did he come too quickly and kick her out of his place unfulfilled.  He was the perfect man, existing only to protect her, to love her, to provide unlimited orgasms...

 

A real orgasm was building - she felt the familiar almost paralyzing tension begin on the soles of her feet, racing up the back of her legs.  She was moaning loudly, squeezing her own breasts, flexing in time with the vibrator.  She dialed James up to the medium setting.

 

She was ready to burst, her arms tangled about his neck.  She called out, incoherent, on the knife's edge of orgasm.  Just before she contracted around him, his face transformed from blurry to sharp-featured; his skin from tanned to pale, his musculature from a bodybuilder's to a working man's. 

 

His eyes to blue.

 

"LENNY," she called into the darkness, bending herself into shapes a contortionist might envy, the pleasure- wracking her so divine that she bit her palm to keep from screaming anything more revealing.  So quickly the pleasure-agony was over and she dropped back to the real world, weak-limbed, sated, sleepy.  She almost didn't have the energy to shut off the vibrator and unplug it.

 

Dizzily, she got up, cleansed it and hid it away again for further use, then tossed on a nightshirt and prepared for dreamless sleep, too exhausted to even question her Lenny fantasy.

 

But peace was interrupted by a knock at the door.

 

WHY did Shirley have to forget her keys at the worst possible time?!  Stumbling downstairs, Laverne didn't even bother to turn on a light.

 

 Silhouetted by the hall lights, he stood there, his eyes electric and filled with life.

 

It was as if she'd never come.  Her knees felt weak with anticipation - had he heard her moaning and coming, calling his name?   She watched Lenny silently, then changed course and grinned briefly before bringing her arm up and running her pussy juice-scented fingers along the outline of his lips. 

 

His tongue lashed out, sucking them into his mouth, drinking in her taste; his teeth scraped her and she withdrew them.

 

They were locked in an embrace, eye to eye, the kisses crushing and uncompromising.  Together they stumbled backward up the stairs.

 

The clatter of the door being swept aside was only dwarfed by her surprised cry as he took her into his arms and carried her two steps to her bed.

 

As he sunk down over her body and began to kiss her frantically, she realized they had both won everything they'd been gambling on.  

To Part 4
To Part 6