There Is No "I" In Private
Chapter Eleven
By Missy

SERIES: Goosebumps!
SUBSERIES: There is no "I" in Private
PART: eleven of twelve parts for this arc
Author: Missy
Email: lasfic@yahoo.com
RATING: PG-13 (For language, anatomical refferences)
PAIRING(s): L/L; S/C; S/R

DISTRIBUTION: To LW, Kai, and FG so far; any other archives are welcome to ask (Please Email Me), but disclaimers must be included, my email left intact. send a URL, and provide full disclaimers as well as credit me fully. Please inform me if you are going to submit my work to any sort of search engine. Please do not submit my work to a search engine that picks out random sets of words and uses them as key words, such as "Google"

Please contact me in order for this story to be placed on an archive, or if you want know of a friend who would enjoy my works, please email me their address and I will mail them the stories, expressly for the purpose of link trading. MiSTiers are welcomed! Please do inform me that you'd like to do the MiSTing, however, and send me a copy of the finished product. I'd also love to archive any MiSTings that are made of my work!

DISCLAIMER: Laverne and Shirley, of course, not my property and belongs to its creators.

CATEGORY: Epic Drama
CANNON/SPOILERS: Pre-Reunion Show Cannon; set five years after the series' conclusion.
FEEDBACK: PLEASE?!
SPOILLER/SUMMARY: Laverne and Lenny try to cope with life under the gaze of royal watchers, who begin to impede upon their honeymoon. Meanwhile, Shirley becomes desperate to safeguard her custody of Veenie, and Rhonda gets some long-awaited news.
NOTES: The first chapter in the eighth portion to this series. For previous chapters, see the Goosebumps! Section at LAS Fic or The Look.

Kath has written a lovely wedding night within the cannon for these two; see Impure Thoughts to read it!

And yes, I couldn't quite figure out how to spell the name of Lenny's sovereign mini-nation, so I improvise.

***

"Hello!! Do you know where the nearest American Con-su-what is? HEL-O!?" Squiggy slammed the phone down, glowering at the machine.

"Give up, Squig." Laverne frowned, buttoning her jacket. "I wish he'd left me a note; I don't know where I'm goin' I tried every place I could think of!"

"That's where yer goin'! I'm goin' to the American Con-su-whatever an' I'm gonna make sure that me an' Rhonda stay safe!"

"Squiggy, how can ya do this to Len?! He's yer best friend in the whole world!"

"I got more important things ta think about, La-Verne."

"What?"

"Rhonda's-expectin'."

Laverne's nose curled at the mental image of Squiggy's children, but she smiled at the little guy regardlessly. "Great news, Squig."

"I thought so. Anyway, you gotta come with us; Len made me swear a solemn oath over a bottle of Shotz that if somethin' was to happen to ya, I'd take ya home an' take care of ya." He leaned on her, leering deliberately. "So, how's about it?"

"I'd rather French kiss a worm, Squig!" She headed toward the hotel's exit.

"Yeah?! Well, I just happen ta know that worms don't have tongues!"

Squiggy stared at the empty room in disbelief. "Hel-lo? Rhonda? Shirley? Carmine?"

He wondered where they all could have disappeared. Then he remembered the call he'd gotten, the one he'd casually told them about. Something about a Ransom, a resistance fighter, and money. He hadn't thought to tell Laverne, because they had to be just little kids fooling around.

Fear gripped Squiggy's chest. Even his feeble brain could piece together such troubling clues. They were headed to the Royal Sanitarium in Krakow...where Lenny was being held captive!

***

Lenny stared at the glowing prod, tears forming in his eyes. The woman wielding it was hauntingly familiar. "Ma, how could ya do this to me?"

The woman and her accomplice said something to one another in Polish. Suddenly, they laughed uproariously.

"You still believe I am mother? I am top agent for Rebel Forces! We will topple government of Kulakowski; install communist dictator!"

"I won't let you!"

"You in no position to say no." She menaced, brandishing the prod.

Lenny glanced at the prod, then the eyes of the woman. "Good thing you ain't my mom." He said. "Otherwise, I'd feel real bad about doin'...THIS!"

His foot connected with the woman's chest, and the prod clattered across the floor. A swift punch silenced Lenny again.

"You in big time trouble now!" She sneered. Lenny stared into the woman's face, wondering why he had believed her to be his mother. No figure could be so heartless, so cold.

The door crashed open. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a familiar head of dark curls.

"Hey, Lensh! Wheresh the party!"

The stink of gin and the stagger of his best friend told Lenny every detail...even before he crashed onto the floor, shattering the bottle of gin he had once held in a very tight grip.


To Part 10

To Part 12