5 EXT: Laverne and Shirley in Cab.

The two girls are sitting in the back of the cab, neither of them are talking. Shirley is enjoying the drive from the airport to their hotel while Laverne grows anxious and bored.

LAVERNE

(Rocking back and forth)

C’mon, what’s takin’ so long?

SHIRLEY

(Taking pictures of a field of cows)

Oh will you look at those two, Laverne! I think they’re hugging!

LAVERNE

(Leans over to look out of Shirley’s window)

Uh Shirl, they’re not hugging.

SHIRLEY

Of course they are!

(Continuing to take pictures)

LAVERNE

(Grabs camera)

Stop it!

SHIRLEY

(Flashes Laverne a dirty look)

Hey, what did you do THAT for?!

LAVERNE

What did I do that for? What did I do THAT for? Shirl, they weren’t hugging! I know for a fact that when you get these developed and I tell you EXACTLY what they were doing, you’re not gonna want these pics no more!

SHIRLEY

Well if they weren’t hugging, what were…Oh.

6 EXT: The Hyatt Regency in Downtown Milwaukee, WI.

The cab driver pulls up in front of the hotel and opens the door for the girls.

LAVERNE

(Taking in a gasp)

Will you look at this, Shirl!

(Pulling at Shirley’s arm while she’s applying some lipstick)

SHIRLEY

Wait a second, wait a second!

(Applies the last of her lipstick and looks up at the hotel)

Oh wow, this is nothing like the hotels they used to have when we lived around here!

LAVERNE

You’re tellin’ me? I was livin’ here too ya know.

(Still looking up at the hotel in awe)

CAB DRIVER

Alright ladies, where do you want your luggage? Would you like me to get one of the Bellboys for you?

Both of the girls feel high class from the hotel they’re about to stay in for the High School reunion, they both start to follow the Cab driver in to the hotel with their luggage as he calls for a Bellboy.

Laverne and Shirley both begin to walk in to the swinging door at the same time, Shirley first, and once they begin to walk, they realize that they’re stuck.

SHIRLEY

Laverne, look what you did!

LAVERNE

What do ya mean?!

SHIRLEY

You walked in the same time as me! Couldn’t you have walked in to another part of the door?!

LAVERNE

Well sor-ry! I’m a little excited here if ya can’t tell by now.

SHIRLEY

Oh I KNOW you’re excited, Laverne. Everything excites you!

LAVERNE

OH I am not going to take that comment well, Shirl. You know well enough that not “everything” excites me.

SHIRLEY

(Trying to turn her head to look at Laverne)

Want to make a bet?

LAVERNE

(Tries to raise her hands)

Will you just move?

SHIRLEY

Gladly.

They both slowly move through the door and once they get out, Shirley falls in to the hotel with Laverne toppling on top of her.

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY

(Looking around the hotel)

Ooh.

Both girls continue to look around the inside of the hotel from the carpeting, when their Bellboy approaches.

BELLBOY

Uh, are you Ms. Feeney and DeFazio?

Laverne and Shirley both look at each other from their positions.

SHIRLEY

Laverne?

LAVERNE

Yeah?

SHIRLEY

Could you get off of me, please?

LAVERNE

(Realizes that she’s laying on top of Shirley)

Oh.

(Laughs)

Sorry, Shirl.

(Stands up and greets the Bellboy)

Yeah that’s us.

BELLBOY

Follow me.

(Turns around and shakes head)

The girls check in and then the Bellboy takes them to their room, the two girls are giddy and they smile at everyone that passes them by.

LAVERNE

(Smiling at a middle aged man, nicely dressed as if for a meeting)

Hello, I’m Laverne DeFazio.

(Bats eyelashes)

SHIRLEY

(Stops following the Bellboy once she sees who Laverne stopped to talk to, she greets the man as well)

And I’m Shirley Feeney.

(Does a little laugh)

MAN

(Looking around, wanting to go along with his duties)

Uh, hello. Is there something I could help you with?

LAVERNE

(Face lights up and smiles)

Well there is ONE thing.

(Starts to flirt)

SHIRLEY

(Grabs on to Laverne’s arm before she can touch the man)

Laverne.

Laverne turns to face Shirley and the man quietly runs around the other corner of the hallway.

LAVERNE

(Noticing that the man is no longer)

Hey!

(Turns to Shirley with her hands on her hips)

Will you look what you did now?! You scared him off!

SHIRLEY

Laverne, I know what you were about to tell that man what he could “help” you with so don’t even start!

LAVERNE

(Smiles dreamily)

Yeah but that doesn’t mean that you had to “stop” me.

SHIRLEY

Do you want to go to this High school reunion or the slammer?

(Cocks head)

LAVERNE

(Shifts eyes to the side)

Let me think… --

SHIRLEY

(Slaps Laverne on the arm)

Laverne!

LAVERNE

All right, all right.

The Bellboy has been standing at the end of the hall by their room; the girls finally realize that he’s been waiting for them the entire time they’ve been talking to the other man.

Laverne and Shirley quickly walk towards the end of the hall where the Bellboy opens their room and places their luggage at each end of the two separate beds.

BELLBOY

(Hands Shirley the keys)

If there’s anything else you girls need, just call the front desk.

SHIRLEY

Thank you.

(Smiles at the Bellboy as he leaves)

LAVERNE

(Looking out window)

Oh my goodness…Shirl, look at this! We have a view of the Marina.

SHIRLEY

(Walking towards Laverne and the window)

Ooh, we do! Well if this isn’t a high class hotel room, I don’t know what is.

LAVERNE

Oh I know, did you see that they have that service where they deliver food to your room?

(Walks over to telephone)

It should say it on here…

SHIRLEY

I believe you’re talking about room service.

LAVERNE

Yeah, that’s it! There’s a button you can push here on the phone to call it, I’m gonna get something; what about you?

SHIRLEY

Now Laverne, really…Do you know how much that is to pay for room service? I mean, look at this…

(Grabs a menu laying on the night stand)

A doughnut, now listen, a doughnut is…Five dollars.

LAVERNE

Five dollars?! Let me see that.

(Takes the menu from Shirley)

Well it’s Chocolate.

SHIRLEY

Laverne, you told me that you wanted to go on that diet right?

LAVERNE

(Nods)

Yes.

SHIRLEY

And you told me that you would listen to me, right?

LAVERNE

(Nods again)

Yes.

SHIRLEY

You’ve lost a good few pounds the last few weeks before this reunion and you want to stay the shape you are now, right?

LAVERNE

(Nods repeatedly)

Oh yes.

SHIRLEY

Then don’t buy the doughnut, you don’t need it – nor is it a decent price. I’m sure that the reunion will have plenty of that stuff there for cheap anyway.

LAVERNE

(Places menu back down on night stand)

Yeah you’re right, I do want to stay thin…

(Looks at the picture of the doughnut on the menu)

But it’s chocolate…

SHIRLEY

You are what you eat, did you know that Laverne?

LAVERNE

Are you calling me a doughnut?

SHIRLEY

Not technically, it’s just a saying.

LAVERNE

Well I don’t like that “saying.”

(Pouts)

SHIRLEY

Oh c’mon Laverne, you’re a grown woman now – you don’t need to pout like that because you can’t and shouldn’t get something.

LAVERNE

Uh huh, that’s what you said the one time that I wouldn’t let you keep Buttercup in our Milwaukee apartment? You jumped on the floor and had a fit like a three year old.

(Crosses arms)

SHIRLEY

Okay so I admit that I’ve…I’ve been stubborn in the past but not at this age.

LAVERNE

Where’s Boo-Boo kitty?

SHIRLEY

(Smiles)

Oh he’s…Wait a minute, I know where you’re going with that Laverne.

LAVERNE

Yeah, grown women shouldn’t be having tea parties still with their stuffed cats.

SHIRLEY

I will not listen to you, I haven’t had a tea party with Boo-Boo kitty since –

LAVERNE

This morning on the plane?

SHIRLEY

I did not.

LAVERNE

Then why did you take him out of your tote bag and start talking to him?

SHIRLEY

(Grabs her purse and takes out a Five dollar bill)

Fine, take it – it’s my treat!

LAVERNE

No, I don’t want it!

SHIRLEY

You just got done insulting me with Boo-Boo kitty, you know that you want it!

LAVERNE

 I don’t want your dang money, Shirl!

Shirley begins to place the money in Laverne’s hand and Laverne hits her hand back, it happens repeatedly till they hear a knock at the door.

To Part 1
To Part 4