1) You eat Scooter Pies... errr... Moon Pies.
2) You've had milk and Pepsi more than once, no matter how much it hurt your taste buds.
3) You've ever sewed an L on your clothes... even though your name doesn't start with an L.
4) Back in 1998, the AOL N@N Message Boards were your home.
5) You've had a LAS related screen name at some point. Actual examples include: LavernRock, LavernShrl, DeFazio76, and AngoraDebs, among other things.
6) You have seen your fair share of random guest appearances and horrible made-for-tv movies just to see a glimpse of your favorite cast member.
7) You for some reason know all the names of Penny Marshall's neices and nephews.
8) You refer to the episodes by their proper names, and have in-depth conversations about them with other fans.
9) You know that, at one point, a large percentage of LAS websites were made with Expage.
10) You love Michael McKean beyond all reason.
11) You secretly wish for your own hang out like The Pizza Bowl or Cowboy Bills.
12) You've ever searched for a copy of "The Black Scorpion"
13) Roxy LaTour is the first stripper to come to your mind.
14) You know what Laverne's allergic to, and what Lenny's afraid of.
15) You know the definition of "monophobia".
16) You've cried over several select episodes. ("Why Did The Fireman...?" and "A Visit To The Cemetary", anyone?)
17) You wonder why only Bobby Feeney appeared on the show when Shirley had three other brothers...
18) You really wish that the writers had gone into more detail about Laverne's mother, Josephine; or at least have delved deeper into the reason for her death.
19) Sonny's total disappearance almost baffles you.
20) You think Mrs. Babish.. er... DeFazio... should have had a proper send-off. An episode featuring a monkey and The Spinners, with Frank springing the details of her abandonment on Laverne does not qualify as such.
21) You know for a fact that there is no denying the on and off-screen chemistry between Penny Marshall and Michael McKean.
22) You realize that the last name of Lockwash was used way to often in the course of the show.
23) While you like Randy Carpenter much better, you wonder why Ted Nelson: Fireman wasn't used as Laverne's fire-fighting near-fiance in "Why Did The Fireman...?"
24) You know every episode that Penny Marshall's daughter - Tracy Reiner - appeared in, and feel extremely sorry for her because one of these was "Do The Carmine" - the "infamous" episode where Carmine becomes an over-night pop sensation... only to be kicked to the curb in the end. Bad wardrobe. Disturbing gyrations. Carmine figurines...
25) You know that in order to calm down Terry Buttafucco, you will need to keep a few cookies on hand.
26) You realize that LAS is perhaps the first show in which each character has a semi, if not completely, disfunctional family. Laverne's mother died when she was young and her father has an obsession with her marrying Italian men; Shirley's father was a moocher and an alcoholic, her mother insisted on being called Barb, her brother was also an alcoholic, and she seemed to have reason to believe that she was adopted; Lenny's mother ran out on the family on his fifth birthday and his father smelt of fish all the time; and Squiggy's father was an absolute lying mess and he had a foster mother.
27) You know that Lenny and Squiggy's bunk bed and the picture of the juggling clown in the girl's Milwaukee apartment comes from The Brady Bunch set.