These are top 10, 20 or 100 lists compiled by our authors, or timelines of fanfics archived here.

1. If it’s brown now, that means it used to be yellow. 
2. Wearing blue makes you look short. 
3. Kleenex and Phoenix DON’T rhyme. 
4. Ants CAN move rubber tree plants. 
5. If you’re going to be a picklehead, you might as well be the best damn picklehead in the state of Milwaukee! 
6. Never say bet-your-buns to a nun. 
7. Schlameal and Schlamazel. Milk and Pepsi. Laverne and Lenny. Some things were just meant to be together. 
8. If your hair is all grungy and full of goo, just shake and brush out, quicky poo! 
9. Some pills will make you perky… others will make you jerky. 
10. If it ever gets too hot, Pepsi-Cola hits the spot. 
11. Beware of bald men. 
12. Napkins ? Little Hats 
13. Watch out for men with briefcases. 
14. ...And men with pinky rings. 
15. It helps to know someone whose uncle owns a wax museum. 
16. Brushing your teeth once after every meal is poor oral hygiene. This will wear them right down to the nub. 
17. Scooter pies are life. 
18. The hand is the coolest. It snaps. It waves hello. It waves goodbye. It makes friends. It makes bunny rabbits. 
19. Never give a baby a stupid name like Euripides. 
20. “Kosnowski” means “Help, there’s a hog in my kitchen!” 
21. Never trust men who don’t eat meat. There’s something fishy about them. 
22. If your family leaves Poland in disgrace, they might as well return the same way. 
23. Love is blind. It is also deaf, dumb, and unable to smell. 
24. Buttering popcorn by hand, piece-by-piece, is the sexiest thing ever. 
25. People don’t like to be called fruit. 
26. Peaches + Corn + Beans = All you need to learn how to drive. 
27. Fudg-CICLE. 
28. There are only two cures for seasickness: making out and peanut butter. 
29. Always keep a fresh shirt on hand in the fridge. 
30. A radiobrush is THE only way to dance away your tooth decay. 
31. All’s fair if someone calls you a bimbo. 
32. ...Or drowns your fox. 
33. ** Do things your way, and you might just make all your dreams come true.**