One
Girls apt., morning. Shirley is ready for work standing at the door, Laverne is at the table eating her breakfast very slowly, Shirley is becoming impatient.

Shirley- Will you hurry up Laverne, we're gonna be late!

Laverne- Don't rush me, I'll get there!

Shirley- We're gonna miss the car pool! Hurry up Laverne!

Laverne-(smiling devilishly, Laverne goes back to her breakfast) So? We'll take the bus.

Shirley- (Making a disgusted face) Ewww! I hate taking the bus, everybody on there is dirty and sleazy!

(Lenny & Squiggy enter, tell me ya didn't see THAT coming)

Squiggy-"Hello!"

Lenny- (Stepping up to Shirley) Hey girls! We just thought we'd offer to drive ya to work, seein' as how your car pool's already left.

Shirley-(Looking scornfully at Laverne) See? Now look what you've done! They left.

Laverne- (standing up) No thanks, boys, We're gonna take the bus.

Shirley- (Becoming suspicious) Just why are you so eager to take the bus, h'mmm, Laverne?

Laverne- (Searching for a good answer) Well, see there's this really cute guy and....

Shirley- I'd rather drive with Lenny & Squiggy then watch you hike up your skirt and hang from a strap!

Squiggy- Great! (He takes Shirley by the hand and pulls her out the door)

Lenny- What about you Laverne?

Laverne- Well, Len, I can't, see I (she looks out the window just in time to see her bus go by) Awe! Now ya made me miss my bus, how am I gonna get to work now?

(Lenny takes her by the arm and drags her out the door)

Two
Shotz breakroom noon, later that day. Laverne, Shirley, Lenny, Squiggy, & Ash are eating lunch at the usual table. They are in their work clothes, Ash is wearing the same uniform as Lenny & Squiggy.

Ash- So, How are things on the line?

Shirley- Laverne fell asleep again.

Laverne- (annoyed) I told you to wake me up If I fell asleep!

Shirley- (giggling to herself) But you were sleeping like a little baby!

Laverne- At least you coulda woken me up before I almost got shipped to Kissimee!

Lenny- Bless you.

(The gang laughs)

Ash- What about you two? (She looks at Lenny & Squiggy) How's the old truck route?

Squiggy- Rotten! Our truck ain't runnin' right an' if we take it to old man Shotz, he's gonna take it outta our pay!

Lenny- Yeah, we can't afford to fix it, so we're drivin' around in a busted truck!

Ash- Bring it to me, I'll fix it.

(Lenny & Squiggy start laughing hysterically)

Squiggy- (Between laughs) Your a girl! What do you know about trucks!!

Ash- Probably a lot more then you do! I'm offerin' to fix your truck for free, here.

Squiggy- Thats a laugh and a half!

Ash- I don't see why, but if you wanna go tell Mr. Shotz when all ya need is a new left intake manifold, go ahead, but I guarantee any other mechanic's gonna over charge ya!

(Lenny & Squiggy stop laughing)

Lenny- How'd ya know that was the problem?

Ash- Because I'm obviously stupid.

Squiggy- All right, All right, you can look at it, but if anything else gets screwed up, its your fault!

(Ash, Lenny, & Squiggy exit)

Laverne- Those three are somethin' huh? Did you notice from the back, they all look the same?

Shirley- Just what we needed, another one of them runnin' around!

Laverne- Just put them put them outta your mind, Shirl. How's the party comin'?

Shirley- Its gonna be great! Who're you bringin'?

Laverne- You remember the guy from the bus?

Shirley- Don't tell me your bringin' some slimey guy you don't even know!

Laverne- (offended) He's not slimey! He happens to be an accountant.

Shirley- And he asked you out?

Laverne- Well, not yet, but he will!

Shirley- I hope so, for your sake. Otherwise you'll be moping around like the world was coming to an end!

(fade out)

Three
Pizza bowl, next evening. People are leaving, Laverne & Shirley are setting up

Laverne- Shirl, could ya hand me that rag, I spilled some beer on the table, here.

Shirley- (From the bowling alley) Laverne, I'm cleaning bowling balls with it!

(At this, Laverne starts to go get another rag, but rethinks. She bends down and sucks the beer up, then wipes off the spot on the table with her sleeve. The Pizza Bowl is now empty except for Laverne, Shirley, and Frank.)

Frank-(Stepping up behind Laverne) I'm going to get some more beer!

Laverne- Huh?

Frank- More beer! More beer! (mumbling in Italian/English) I always gotta get more beer, these people drink beer like fish drink water.....et cetera

(Frank exits. Lenny, Squiggy, & Ash enter)

Squiggy- "Hello!"

Frank (OS)- I'm locking the door!

Laverne- (Shouting) OK Pop!

Lenny- (He pulls down & sits on a chair that Laverne had just set up on the table) Hiya Laverne!

(Laverne rolls her eyes and stares at the ceiling, then back at Lenny)

Laverne- Hi Len.

Squiggy- We just came to say we was comin' early to your party.

Laverne- When?

Squiggy- Now.

Laverne- What about your dates?

Ash- The Begorri sisters and their brother Jake are comin' later.

(Laverne walks over to the counter and picks something up)

Laverne- Oh, gee, pop forgot his key (Laverne's face turns to a look of pure horror)

Squiggy- Whatsa matter?

Laverne- We're locked in.

Lenny- Yeah, your fa'der said he locked the door. We don't wanna leave now anyway.

Laverne- No you don't understand.....

(Shirley enters)

Shirley- What's going on?

Laverne- We're locked in, Pop forgot his keys!

Shirley- WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (She runs to Laverne) well, how do we get outta here?

Laverne- Edna has the only other key.

Shirley- But Mrs. Babbish is on vacation 'till tomorrow!!! (In a high pitched, squealing voice, )Oh, Laverne, what're we going to do, we gotta get outta here, I don't wanna be stuck here, we (She's interrupted by a slap from Laverne)

Laverne- (trying to think logically like in 'haunted house') Well, we won't die, we have Pizza....but....

Shirley- Where will we sleep?

(Laverne, Shirley, & Ash all look at Lenny & Squiggy who are smiling broadly)

(fade out)

Four
(fade in) Pizza bowl, Two hours later. Lenny, Ash, & Laverne are playing poker, Ash is dealing, she has most of the money. Shirley & Squiggy are in the alley, bowling

Ash- The name of the game is seven card stud, deuces wild, follow the queen. Len, bets to you.(Lenny bets a nickel)

Laverne- (anteing her nickel) How'd you learn so much about poker, huh?

Ash- I've been playing since I was four, so it's just practice, I guess. Moment of truth, Laverne, zilcho. Lenny, two pair, (she eyes Lenny closely and lays her cards on the table) Full house, pay up!

(The shot moves to the bowling alley, where we see Shirley arguing with Squiggy)

Shirley- It was not!

Squiggy- Was too!

Shirley- Was not!

Squiggy- was too!!!

Shirley- Squiggy, there is no way that you can get two strikes in one turn!

Squiggy- Oh! Who died and made you 'da rule book, huh?

(Shirley gets annoyed and walks out, leaving Squiggy to bowl against himself, which he does. Shirley walks into the restaurant part where the others are still playing cards.)

Shirley- (To Laverne) I swear, his IQ must be on the same level as toasters and hamburger buns!

(Ash giggles into her hand)

Shirley (Cont)- Did you call your father again?

Laverne- Yeah, he says he can't get us out until Edna gets back tomorrow.

Shirley- Ohhhh! I don't wanna spend the night here with Lenny & Squiggy! (She looks at Lenny, who obviously hasn't heard her.)

(Squiggy enters, running)

Squiggy- Ha! I won!

Shirley- Squiggy, you were playing against yourself.

Squiggy- So? I'm just the only one who can beat me. (He tries to make sense of what he just said)

Five
Pizza Bowl, late night (no smut!)

We see the gang sleeping, Laverne has made a bed out of chairs, Shirley is on the floor, leaning against the counter, Squiggy's feet are on her lap. Lenny is stretched out on top of the counter, and Ash is curled up on a table. Laverne moves and the chairs slide out from under her. To catch herself, she grabs the table that Ash is sleeping on, causing her to fall off. She lands on Squiggy, who kicks his feet. This prompts Shirley to give a frightful scream which startles Lenny and he falls off the counter. (Yeah, I know, wasn't that fun?)

Squiggy- Whats goin' on?

(The gang is trying to wake themselves up)

Shirley- (yawning) What time is it?

Ash- (looking at her watch) 3:30.

Squiggy- Well what're ya wakin' me up for?!? (Squiggy puts his feet back on the lap of a now awake Shirley who immediately shoves them off.)

Lenny- (Pulling himself up from behind the counter) Yeah, Laverne, why DID ya wake us up?

Laverne- I didn't mean too I...(interupted)

Ash- Well, I'm up now.

Shirley- Me too. (She looks at Squiggy who is fast asleep) I think he missed something.

(Lenny giggles)

Lenny- Well, look, now that we're all up an' everything, (He glances at Squiggy) What'd ya say we have a little fun (He smiles devilishly)

Laverne & Shirley- NO!!!!

Lenny- What about you? (He looks at Ash)

Ash- ....Len....I like you....(Lenny gets up and walks towards her)...but if you lay one finger on me, you won't have any fingers left, got it? (Lenny stops, clenches his fists, as though to hold onto his fingers, he walks back to the counter) {Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to write the line!?!}

Laverne- I like this girl!

Shirley- Lets just try to get some sleep, shall we?

(Squiggy moves, once again putting his feet on Shirley's lap, this time she makes no attempt to move them.)

Six
Pizza Bowl, morning

Ash is stretched across the table, her arms & legs hanging off. Lenny is on the counter, just as he fell asleep, Laverne is on the floor, chairs scattered everywhere. Shirley is on the floor, lying beside Squiggy, with her arm around him....

Shirley- Oh, yes! I do! I do! ( She Squeezes Squiggy closer) I do!!

(Squiggy wakes up, everybody else is still asleep. Of course, in the position he's in, how could he resist?

Squiggy- Me too! (He rolls over and kisses Shirley, they kiss for a long time before Shirley wakes up....)

Shirley- AAAAAHHHH!!!! EEEWWW!!! (She pushes Squiggy away. Her screams wake up the rest of the gang)

Lenny- Is it morning already?

Ash- (Yawning) Shirl, what's with the screaming? You tryin' to give me a heart attack?

(Shirley glares at Squiggy)

Squiggy- You were the one wit' your arm around me!!

Shirley- No, I wasn't... (Before she can finish her protest, the door bursts open and in run Frank & Edna)

Laverne-(Jumping up & hugging Frank) Pop!! Oh, am I glad to see you!

Shirley- We're free!!

Ash- (eyeing Lenny & giggling to herself) (Sarcastically) And you were just starting to look good to me, Len!

Lenny- Awe, nuts! (He runs out after her)

Seven
L&S's apt. the next day.

Laverne & Shirley are trying to re-plan there party.

Laverne- I still think we should invite Jim.

Shirley- But Jim is so weird!

(Lenny & Squiggy enter)

Squiggy- "Hello!"

Lenny- Hey, we was just wonderin' if you two girls wanna come back down to the Pizza Bowl with us.

Squiggy-Yeah, we stole the key from Mr. DeFazio. (He holds up a key)

Laverne- (Grabbing the key) I'll tell you what, Squig. If you go lock yourselves in the Pizza Bowl, we''ll be down in a few minutes.

(Lenny & Squiggy smile and run out)

Shirley- (Smiling at Laverne) Maybe we could hold the party somewhere else.

Laverne- I wonder if I could convince Pop not to open for a few weeks....!

(fade out)

End

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