By Squeaky

Laverne and Shirley sat watching a ball game.

"Laverne I want a dog!" cried Shirley just as the commercials were on.

Laverne ignored her friend and kept eating pop corn.

"Laverne, I said I want a dog. Don’t you have anything to say? No ‘Shirley are you insane?’ or ‘Shut up, I’m tryin’ to eat pop corn here’?

"I am not falling into your little game, Shirl. Everytime you want something you want me to to argue with you until I get real angry. I yell at you then you can start crying and I always give up just so you can shut up."

"So then just give up, let me bring a dog and we will save all the fighting for something else."

"Shirl, we can’t have a dog here"

"Come on, Laverne. It can be an itty bitty dog, one of those little ones with the big pointy ears."

" A Chihuahua?"

"Bless you. Anyway, what do you say? We can call it ‘Vernie’"

"Read my lips: Nooooo."

"Don’t be such a spoilsport!"

"What did you call me?" said Laverne rolling up her sleeves.

"Now, now, calm down. No need for us to get all black and blue over this."

"Shirl, you know Miss Babish doesn’t allow animals in the building."

"So? A dog can’t be that hard to hide…"

"Shirley, we can’t have a dog in here. They smell and they bark loud… there will be poop all over the place!"

"Hello!"

Lenny and Squiggy, unwelcome as always, entered the girls’ living room. Lenny carried a mysterious box. Both he and Squiggy were dirty with ashes and their hair was all a mess. They looked as if they had been struck by lightning.

The girls’ quickly approached them.

"Guys, what happened? You looked like someone barbecued you."

"Uh, nothing happened. Uh… this is the new look of the season," Said Squiggy.

"No, it ain’t Squig. The little doggie just---"

Shirley couldn’t help let out her joy and let out a cry of excitement. She quickly grabbed the box.

"Is this my dog? Oh, I can’t believe you guys finally did something right! It’s a Chihuahua right?"

"Uh… sorta…" began Squiggy. "At least it has pointy ears."

Shirley grunted in disappointment. "I really had my heart set on a Chihuahua, but since it fits inside this tiny box then I suppose it won’t be any trouble." Then she began rubbing her nose on the box and said in baby talk: "Don’t worry my little doggie, even if you are not a chihuahua, I choose you!…. to be my pet."

"Just don’t let it go near water. You can be shocked." Squiggy punched Lenny in the arm and motioned him to shut up.

"Shocked? I don’t think so. Dogs look weird when they are wet, but it’s nothing to get shocked by. I mean I have seen you to in bathing suits and I did okay."

"No I meant it. Just be careful. You two, Laverne," said Lenny. Laverne was too busy looking at Shirley as if her gaze could strangle her friend.

Lenny and Squiggy were gone.

"Shirley how could you buy a dog and not tell me!"

"Well I was talking to Carmine about it at the Pizza Bowl and Lenny and Squiggy overheard me. Then they said they had found the cutest little dog and taken it to their apartment. They said it was a Chihuahua… those liars. Anyway, Squiggy wanted to get rid of it so I just said I would pay them $5 for it. Five dollars isn’t that much for a dog Laverne…"

"I don’t care if you paid fifty cents for the thing. We ain’t having a dog in this apartment!"

"Pika…"

"What did you call me? You got a loose mouth today Shirl…"

"I didn’t say anything…"

"Pika… pi…"

"I think it’s coming from the box."

"Come on Laverne. Don’t be silly. Dogs can’t talk… You have to be hearing things." She begins to laugh."

Laverne grabbed on end of the box and wanted to snatch it away from Shirley. Shirley pulled back. They began yelling at each other and screaming. Whatever was inside it didn’t like it.

"PIIII….. KAAAA…..CHUUUUU!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly bolts of electricity came out of the box and electrocuted the girls. In a matter of seconds they look just like Lenny and Suiggy had five minutes earlier. Their hair was all puffed up and they coughed out smoke.

Before any of the girls could react or say anything, the box began to be opened and a little yellow creature leaped out of it. The girls screamed. Whatever it was seemed to be afraid of the girls just like the girls were afraid of it. It ran to the girls’ room.

"Shirley, you spent five dollars on that thing!"

"That is the weirdest looking puppy I have ever seen!"

"Don’t be stupid. That thing ain’t no dog! Where did Lenny and Suiggy find it? In a freak show???"

"Quiet Laverne you don’t want to upset it again."

"Upset it? I am going in there and kick it out of here. Look what it did to my ‘L’!" Indeed Laverne’s ‘L’ was just hanging from a thread. She ripped it off and put it in her pocket.

They could hear the little creature gnawing on something.

"It’s chewing something. Oh, I left my new sweater on my bed! Out of my way!"

Shirley started walking toward her room when she heard "Pika…". She screamed and hid behind Laverne.

"That was courageous, Shirl…." Said Laverne sarcastically.

"I don’t want that think to fry me again…" she whined.

"Pika…pi…" The yellow creature peeked out of the room and slowly walked toward them. Both girls were shaking.

"Sh-Shirl… it’s coming this way."

"OH! Kick it away! Kick it away!"

"I can’t move. I’m too scared."

The little creature looked at them trembling and whimpering and it started laughing.

"Would you look at that? It’s laughing at us! What I oughta…"

The creature reached for Laverne.

"Laverne look it wants you to carry it."

"I ain’t touchin’ it!"

"Don’t be such a baby. The only reason it attacked us it was because it was scared. Come here, you cute thing!"

The creature jumped on Shirley’s arms.

"Pika…"

"Oh, it doesn’t have a name tag anywhere. I’ll just call it… Vernie."

"You ain’t calling it that. Why don’t you call it ‘Willhemina’?"

"Laverne!"

"Besides, you don’t even know if it’s a girl."

"Laverne I looked at the tree, but I saw no apples…"

"We got a tree? Oh! I get it…"

"The poor little thing. It has got to be so hungry…"

"I wonder what it eats. Do you want fish sticks?"

"Pika!" cried the little creature filled with joy.

It seemed like Laverne and Shirley had begun a partnership with a cute little… thing. What chaos would this strange animal bring to their lives? Find out in part 2 of this weird crossover event!

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