(An Experiment In Which Jack Tripper Searches For Two New Room Mates)
by Scott McClenny
It was early in the morning and Jack was in the kitchen making breakfast when the doorbell rang.
"Can one of you girls get the door?" he shouted through the door.
"Ayeayeyayayeayehhhh!"Xena asnwered as she flung open the door.
"Well,hellooooo.."Larry began as Xena grabbed him by the collar and hustled him inside.
Throwing him on the couch she jabbed him in the neck.
"I just cut off the flow of blood to your head and you will be dead within five minutes unless you tell me what you want!"she said.
A hand roughly pushed her off.
"I keep telling you if we want to find out what people want we ought to ASSMILATE them into our Collective first.It is a far superior method to your way."Seven replied.
Alas by then poor Larry was dead.
And so we see that Seven and Xena are not too good at replacing Janet and Chrissy.
But perhaps Laverne and Shirley would do better?
It was early in the morning and Jack was in the kitchen making breakfast when the doorbell rang.
"Can one of you girls get it?"he shouted from the kitchen door.
"Ah,get it yourself!"Laverne yelled back from the bedroom.
"Just ignore her.She's been in a bad mood ever since she found out that
Elvis wore a girdle."Shirley replied going to the door herself.
Well helloooo.."Larry said.
"Hello and what do YOU want?"
"Who is it Shirl'?"Laverne asked.
"It's that guy from upstairs."
"The one that acts like Lenny and Squiggy on caffeine."
"That's the one."
"Tell 'im to get lost."
Shirley shut the door on Larry's foot.
Although Laverne and Shirley did do better it seems that they can't quite replace Janet and Chrissy so we will next audition Buffy and Anya.
It was early in the morning and Jack was making breakfast when the doorbell rang.
"Can one of you girls get it?"he shouted from the door.
A bit groggy from the previous night patrol still Buffy walked to the door.
"Well helloooo..."Larry said before he found himself being thrown to the floor and looking at the buisness end of a rather sharp stake.
"How many times do I have to warn you to leave us alone.You scum.You make Spike look like a saint in comparison.I had rather have my hair done by Drusilla then waste my time with you.In fact I don't even know WHY I'm talking to you now.
I think I go take a walk and see if I can find Harmony.I haven't tried to slay her in a longish while."
Buffy walked out the door,but before Larry had enough time to recover Anya came out of the bedroom and was looking at him.
"You know too bad I'm not a Vengeance Demon any more.I mean I could see myself turning you into a three head toad or a one eyed snake.
Or even better a Barry Manilow addict."she said and Larry ran out the door.
Well ok so Buffy and Anya didn't work either.And it does seem like only Janet and Chrissy are Jack's perfect room mates.
Will there be any more auditions to replace Janet and Chrissy and if so who or whom might they be?Well ya never know!
(An Experiment In Which Jack Tripper Searches For Two New Room Mates)
by Scott McClenny
It was early in the morning and Jack was in the kitchen making breakfast when the doorbell rang.
"Can one of you girls get the door?" he shouted through the door.
"Ayeayeyayayeayehhhh!"Xena asnwered as she flung open the door.
"Well,hellooooo.."Larry began as Xena grabbed him by the collar and hustled him inside.
Throwing him on the couch she jabbed him in the neck.
"I just cut off the flow of blood to your head and you will be dead within five minutes unless you tell me what you want!"she said.
A hand roughly pushed her off.
"I keep telling you if we want to find out what people want we ought to ASSMILATE them into our Collective first.It is a far superior method to your way."Seven replied.
Alas by then poor Larry was dead.
And so we see that Seven and Xena are not too good at replacing Janet and Chrissy.
But perhaps Laverne and Shirley would do better?
It was early in the morning and Jack was in the kitchen making breakfast when the doorbell rang.
"Can one of you girls get it?"he shouted from the kitchen door.
"Ah,get it yourself!"Laverne yelled back from the bedroom.
"Just ignore her.She's been in a bad mood ever since she found out that
Elvis wore a girdle."Shirley replied going to the door herself.
Well helloooo.."Larry said.
"Hello and what do YOU want?"
"Who is it Shirl'?"Laverne asked.
"It's that guy from upstairs."
"The one that acts like Lenny and Squiggy on caffeine."
"That's the one."
"Tell 'im to get lost."
Shirley shut the door on Larry's foot.
Although Laverne and Shirley did do better it seems that they can't quite replace Janet and Chrissy so we will next audition Buffy and Anya.
It was early in the morning and Jack was making breakfast when the doorbell rang.
"Can one of you girls get it?"he shouted from the door.
A bit groggy from the previous night patrol still Buffy walked to the door.
"Well helloooo..."Larry said before he found himself being thrown to the floor and looking at the buisness end of a rather sharp stake.
"How many times do I have to warn you to leave us alone.You scum.You make Spike look like a saint in comparison.I had rather have my hair done by Drusilla then waste my time with you.In fact I don't even know WHY I'm talking to you now.
I think I go take a walk and see if I can find Harmony.I haven't tried to slay her in a longish while."
Buffy walked out the door,but before Larry had enough time to recover Anya came out of the bedroom and was looking at him.
"You know too bad I'm not a Vengeance Demon any more.I mean I could see myself turning you into a three head toad or a one eyed snake.
Or even better a Barry Manilow addict."she said and Larry ran out the door.
Well ok so Buffy and Anya didn't work either.And it does seem like only Janet and Chrissy are Jack's perfect room mates.
Will there be any more auditions to replace Janet and Chrissy and if so who or whom might they be?Well ya never know!
THE END