Desertion
By Shotzette

Desertion
By Shotzette
shotzette@yahoo.com
Drama
PG
"Souvenirs" Universe

This is merely a work of fan-fiction, written for laughs instead of dollars. It is not intended to infringe on anyone's copyrights anywhere.




Rhonda Lee avoided eye contact with her new neighbor as she quickly stepped through her doorway. She ignored the pangs of guilt brought upon by her rudeness and forced herself to concentrate on organizing her recently purchased cosmetics. Why get attached, she argued with her conscience. Why bother to get involved with peoples lives when they just run out on you without a moment's notice?

How could that bunch from Milwaukee have turned so Hollywood on her?

One moment, she was sharing their interesting, albeit weird, moments, the next thing, she was all alone, putting away make up and avoiding Penny next door. Briefly Rhonda hoped that the plain girl didn't have any aspirations on being an actress, with her weak chin and thick ankles. Then again, she had entertained similar doubts when Laverne and Shirley had first moved in...

No. She wasn't about to go down that road again, to get attached and then get tossed aside like yesterday's news.

She had her so-called career to make her feel that bad about herself. Rhonda looked half-heartedly at the small boxes and bottles scattered across her vanity, each promising in its own way to make her younger, more beautiful, happier...

Well, none of the above seemed to be happening anytime in the near future. Rhonda looked into her mirror and sighed. Fluorescent lights were not her friends, she mused, as each darkening root, fine line, and blemish seemed to be enhanced under their brutal spotlight. She frowned at her reflection. When had her dark roots started to gray? Why hadn't she kept up with them? No wonder Russ Meyer was the only director in town who was calling her agent.

Once again, she cursed the Wisconsinites. She'd been to busy with their little soap opera of lives to worry about herself. Unpleasant as it was, she couldn't remember the last time she'd spent a Sunday afternoon in her bathroom brooding about her looks.

She'd been too busy having fun. Lots of fun. She'd never had friends before, especially women friends. Most women, in her experience, only knew how to be jealous of Rhonda. Shirley and Laverne hadn't liked her very much at first, but they genuinely warmed up to her, especially Laverne.

Rhonda frowned before she caught herself and gently massaged the line out of her forehead with her pinkie. She and Laverne had gotten a lot closer since Shirley had moved out. She had started to consider Laverne to be her closest friend.

Until Laverne had left in the dead of night with Lenny. For the one hundredth time, Rhonda wondered if Laverne had gotten some sort of head injury at the aerospace facility. Running off with Lenny Kosnowski to God knows where?

She shook her head again. Starting to care, have to stop that, she reminded herself. First Shirley, then Carmine, Laverne, Lenny... She groaned aloud. Even Squiggy didn't consider Rhonda goodbye-worthy.

At least Carmine had the decency to stay in touch. A flicker of a smile crossed Rhonda's face. She glanced at the clock. Three fifteen. Almost time for their weekly phone call. This time, it was Carmine's turn to call.

Rhonda didn't know how their strange relationship had grown, she just knew that she enjoyed her weekly conversation with Carmine more than she could have ever imagined. At first, it had just been mundane chatter. Could she forward his mail? Read aloud an ad from a copy of Variety that he could no longer afford? Slowly, over the long months since his departure, their conversations had become personal, and intellectually intimate. They talked about their careers, their dreams, their pasts. In a way, not having to see him-or watch him see her, made it easier to open up to him. Rhonda had surprised herself by telling Carmine things about herself that she'd never told anyone else. Conversely, after a few scant months of intense discussion, she guiltily thought she knew him better than Shirley ever had.

The ringing phone interrupted her train of thought. Rhonda grinned as she grabbed the receiver and allowed herself to flop gracelessly onto her bed. "Hello, handsome," she purred.

"Rhonda?"

Shirley Feeney Meaney's high pitched voice hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Shirley?"

"Yes, Rhonda, it's Shirley. How are you?"

"Fine," Rhonda lied, as she felt everything but. "This connection is wonderful. I can't believe that you are all the way over in England."

"Actually, I'm not." Shirley's voice quavered slighted. "I'm at Fort Bragg in North Carolina. Davy and I just flew out standby on Army transport. Rhonda, did Laverne forget to pay the phone bill? It's been disconnected."

"I guess you haven't heard. Laverne left, ran off with Lenny. A new girl is living in your old apartment now."

"She what? I-I mean, I knew she'd gone off with him, but I figured she would have come to her senses by now. I mean, really. Lenny?"

Rhonda sighed. "I know, I know. I don't understand it either."

"Has she called? Do you know where she is?"

Rhonda snorted. "No, Laverne hasn't bothered to pick up a phone and call me, but I should be used to that by now, shouldn't I?" Rhonda smiled coldly as the thick silence hung in the air. I'm not going to be the one to speak first, she thought vehemently. Let her hang there for a while.

"Laverne's father called me two weeks ago, and he was very worried about her. I just assumed that she and Lenny had taken a vacation, or a long weekend. I never for a moment thought..."

Once again, Rhonda refused to come to Shirley's rescue.

"She's really with him, isn't she? Laverne and Lenny are a couple? Do you have any idea where they are?"

Pity touched Rhonda's heart, and she replied, "The last time I spoke to Carmine, he said that they were heading to Lenny's sister's place in Nashville. Lenny wants to try to crack into the business from that angle." A smile crossed Rhonda's face. For once in his life, Lenny had made an intelligent career choice. He abandoned the big ocean of Hollywood for the much smaller, less image-conscious world of Nashville. The guy was brighter than he looked.

"You've spoken to Carmine? Oh." Once again, the uneasy silence hung between them. Shirley coughed, then asked, "Do you know where they're staying?"

"Yes. They're staying with Lenny's sister and some guy named Hector. Carmine said you all knew him back in Milwaukee. Hello?" Rhonda looked at the receiver in stunned silence before hanging up. She gently placed her pink princess phone on her bedspread and lied down next to it, as she waited for the call that meant more to her than she had realized.

FIN


To "Through The Looking Glass"
To "I Know You, Rider"










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