Dependence
By Shotzette

 

Dependence

By Shotzette

Rated PG-13

 

 

 

 

 

The afternoon sunlight left short shadows as it drifted in through the partially opened window and danced around the opaque shapes of the bedroom furniture.  To Carmine Ragusa, it didn’t matter at that moment that he was jobless, close to penniless, and would be looking at an eviction notice in the next week. He figured that he’d seen all that before.  But, he thought as he pulled the sleeping woman’s form closer to his own, he’d never felt so alive and free, yet safe, before.

 

As on cue, Rhonda’s eyes opened, and she grinned at him.  “Good morning.”

 

“Good afternoon,” he corrected her.  “It’s nearly one.”

 

Her dark eyes widened in alarm.  Rhonda  can’t believe you let her sleep so late,” she began as she leapt from the bed, her ample curves barely concealed by his tee shirt.  Frantically, she began to open the dresser’s drawers and dump the contents into her open suitcase on the floor.

 

Carmine smiled.  “You looked so beautiful, I didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

 

Rhonda turned towards him; as she dumped the underwear in her hands haphazardly back on to the bureau.  “Carmine, you knew that Rhonda wanted to catch the three o’clock Greyhound back to California.  Didn’t you hear anything Rhonda said last night?”

 

Carmine felt his blood run cold, his earlier euphoria departed like the fair-weather friend it was.  “Yeah,” he said, surprised by the thinness of his voice, “you said a lot of things.  But the part I remember is you telling me that you loved me.  I didn’t dream that, did I Rhonda?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Did you mean it?  Do you still mean it this morning?”

 

Rhonda nodded.  “That’s the problem.  Rhonda does.”

 

“Then,” he asked, gesturing angrily at the open suitcase, his voice rising, “why do you still want to go back to California?”

 

Rhonda sighed, closed her eyes as if garnering strength about her and replied, “Because it doesn’t change anything.”

 

“I don’t believe you!  How could you—after last night of all times—just tell a guy you love them and then walk?  Why Rhonda?”

 

“Rhonda’s career…”

 

“Okay, I ain’t rich and I ain’t connected like the guys you’re used to, but…”

 

Rhonda’s eyes narrowed and her lips tightened.  For a brief, and strangely frightening moment, Carmine thought she was going to slug him.

 

“How dare you?” Rhonda said, in an icy tone that did little to allay his fears.  “Rhonda knows that you are not in a position to help her career, Carmine.  You can’t even able to manage your own career right now.”

 

He blinked in surprise at the vehemence in her words.

 

“You left a steady, PAYING, job on Broadway and come back to Milwaukee to do what?  Play nursemaid to a sick friend?”

 

“There ain’t nothing wrong about being loyal to a friend, Rhonda.”

 

“Loyalty to your friends is one thing.  Hiding behind your friends is another.”

 

“I never hid from nobody!  You don’t understand, and you never liked Squiggy anyhow.”

 

“Rhonda doesn’t dislike Squiggy!”

 

That got his attention.  “So you like him?”

 

“Rhonda wouldn’t go that far,” the tall blond hedged.  “And anyhow, this isn’t about Squiggy.”

 

“Yes it is!”

 

“It started out about him, but that’s not what its about now.”

 

“You’re talking crazy, you know that?”

 

She shook her head. “No.  When was the last time you even saw Squiggy?”

 

“Tuesday!”

 

“It’s Friday, Carmine.  You’ve gone for two days without seeing the friend that you had to drop everything for to come baby-sit.”

 

“Excuse me, but he’s doing better!”

 

“Exactly!  Lenny and Laverne are here now, Shirley’s here and she’s living with him; Squiggy isn’t alone anymore.”

 

“He and Lenny ain’t exactly close again.”

 

“They will be, though.  Where will that leave you?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“What are you going to do, Carmine?  Rhonda knows that your savings is all but gone.  Why do you think Rhonda was so eager to stay with you, to share expenses!

 

His tone turned bitter.  “Yeah.  I guess it’s all about the cash with you.”

 

She had the good grace to look uncomfortable.  “That didn’t come out the way Rhonda meant it, and you know it.  Don’t you?”

 

Not trusting his voice, he merely nodded.

 

“What are you going to do here, Carmine?”

 

He squirmed.  “There’s a lot of stuff I can do.”

 

“What did you use to do for cash?”

 

Lucille Lockwash’s face flashed before his eyes, and his cheeks reddened.  “I-I used to own a dance studio franchise.  Marjorie Ward’s, ever hear of them?

 

She shook her head.

 

“Guess it’s a Midwest thing,” he mumbled.

 

“Do you want to do that again?”

 

Carmine cocked his head to one side in thought.   “I don’t know.  I couldn’t afford to buy into one right now.  I’d probably have to start giving lessons again,” he said as visions of plump, mambo-ing housewives and uncoordinated pre-teens overcame him for a moment.

 

“You look so thrilled at the possibility,” Rhonda replied sarcastically.

 

His glare was his only response.

 

“Carmine, Rhonda is going to be blunt with you.  Milwaukee is a dead end for you, and California wasn’t much better.”

 

“Please never volunteer at a suicide hotline Rhonda, promise me that?”

 

She pressed on, ignoring his snide remark.  “You were doing well in New York, living up to your potential for once in your life.”

 

New York wasn’t all that great,” he muttered.

 

“You didn’t like dancing on Broadway?”

 

“No,  I loved it!”

 

“Weren’t there a few agents checking out your performances?”

 

“Yeah, but no one was ready to sign me,” he countered.

 

She wasn’t swayed.  “Weren’t they thinking of making you an understudy for one of the leads?”

 

“A back up understudy…”  He always hated when his arguments with her lost their steam.

 

“It sounds like you were doing a lot better that teaching chubby eleven year olds to tap dance or delivering singing telegrams.  How many part time jobs did you have in New York?”

 

Carmine shrugged.  “Pizza delivery, y’know, for a little while.”

 

Rhonda cocked her head with her usual condescending air of superiority.  “You didn’t even have to wait tables for years like most entertainers.”

 

He grinned.  “That’s cause I never tried.  I’m a lousy waiter.  Ask Mr. DeFazio.  I used to bus tables for him at the Pizza Bowl and this one time…” Carmine’s voice faded as his face sobered.

 

“What?”

 

“I only told you the good things about New York, Rhonda.  I was miserable there most of the time.  No friends, no fun…” he broke off again.  “You have no idea how much I used to look forward to our Sunday phone calls.”

 

Almost instantly, her arms were around him.  “You weren’t the only one who looked forward to those calls, Carmine.  Always know that.”  She pulled back, tears beginning to form on the ends of her false eyelashes.

 

“I’m sorry, “ he said brokenly, as he pulled her toward him and held her close again.  “I guess you know better than anyone how rough it is to be alone.”

 

“I do,” she replied, in one of her rare moments of referring to herself in the first person.

 

“Then why don’t you understand why I don’t want to leave?”

 

“Because it doesn’t change the facts that you can’t have the future that you want in Milwaukee.”

 

“Rhonda, I was miserably lonely in New York.  I don’t ever want to be that way again.  I’m with you, I’m with my old friends again…”

 

“For how long?”

 

“What?”

 

“Carmine, people don’t stay in the same place forever.  Sure, everyone is here, now.  There are no guarantees that it’s going to stay that way forever.”

 

He turned away from her.

 

She walked around him, forcing him to look at her.  “Listen to me.  What if Shirley and Walter get back together and she follows him back to whatever little dirt-water town that he grew up in?  What if Lenny and Laverne decide to pick up and move again at the drop of a hat?  What if Sqiggy leaves with them?  People grow and change, Carmine.  They’ll always be your friends, but it doesn’t mean that they’ll always be your neighbors.”

 

“That wouldn’t happen.”

 

Rhonda rolled her eyes in exasperation.  “It has.  Everyone moved to California without you, didn’t they?”  Her expression softened, “God, I can’t imagine how rough that must have been for you…”

 

“I handled it,” he said harshly.  “I saved up some cash, sold the dance studio and hopped a bus as fast as I could.”

 

“Why?  If there’s so much opportunity for everyone in Milwaukee?”

 

“I had my reasons,” he mumbled.

 

Rhonda smiled, and in a voice that harbored no jealousy replied, “I know.  You moved out to be with Shirley…”

 

Carmine shook his head.  “Yes.  No.  Sort of…  Me and Shirley were always off and on…”

 

“Rhonda figured that much when she first met you.”

 

“I didn’t just move out here for Shirley.  I moved out here for Laverne, too…”

 

“Yes, you told Rhonda about that little indiscretion…”

 

“I moved out here for Lenny.  And, Squiggy too…”

 

“Rhonda’s not sure she likes where this is going…”

 

Eww!   No, not that.  Never that,” he restated for emphasis. “I just mean that it’s a hard way to find out you only really have six friends when they all leave at the same time.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I mean I knew other people, it wasn’t like I was a hermit, or anything.  But when it really comes down to it, none of those people cared about me, and I really didn’t care about them.” 

 

He looked down briefly at his hands before continuing.  “It wasn’t a real good two months before I went to California, let’s just leave it at that.”

 

Carmine felt her arms encircle him and he leaned back against her, marveling how at this particular moment in time, he didn’t care that he was only five foot three.  “I’m sorry,” she repeated.

 

“I know,” he sighed.  “You’re still going to leave, aren’t you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Carmine’s heart crashed.  “If I went back to California with you, would we be together?”  He held his breath, waiting for the answer to a question he should have asked another woman years ago.

 

Rhonda’d never ask you to do that, Carmine.  Rhonda knows more than anyone else how unhappy you were with your career in Burbank.”

 

He whirled in her arms, ready to ask why she’d been playing with him, making him go through all of this touchy-feely group therapy crap, when she continued, “Rhonda thinks we’d have a better chance if Rhonda moved with you to New York.”

 

He stared at her, dumbfounded.

 

“Rhonda would never ask you to give up your dreams, Carmine.  Rhonda knows, better than anyone, how much they mean to you.”

 

“But you’d give up yours?”

 

She shot him a withering glance.  “Hardly.  If Rhonda were willing to do that, she’d stay here in Milwaukee.  New York has a lot to offer Rhonda.  There’s theatre, commercials, talk shows, soap operas, night clubs…”

 

“Okay, I get the picture.”

 

“Do you?”  Her dark eyes peered at him intently, as if searching for proof of his sincerity.  “I love you, Carmine; but Rhonda knows herself well enough to know that she always has to have her career.  You need to understand that.”

 

“I get it.  Trust me, baby.  I get it.”  His arms snaked around her and pulled her close, his next words muffled in the flesh of her neck.  Their caresses turned more passionate and he began to press her back towards the rumpled bed, only to be interrupted by the sound of a door opening.

 

“Damn it, Joe!” Carmine growled through clenched teeth as he whirled around, “You said that I had until next Monday to get you the rent money, and it’s only Friday.”  Carmine’s jaw dropped when he saw the figures in his doorway.

 

“I guess I should have done the shave-and-a-haircut knock, shouldn’t I?” Shirley asked, her blue eyes wide in surprise.

 

“I dunno,” replied a smirking Laverne.  “It’s not like anyone’s ever barged into our living room before without knocking.  It’s sort of fun to be on this end of the door.” 

 

“Please,” said Rhonda through clenched teeth, “As if you two ever had anything this interesting to interrupt…”

 

“Uh,” Carmine stammered as he artfully placed a chair between his midsection and the interlopers, “What’s new, girls?”

 

“We just wanted to drop by and see how you two were doing,” Laverne replied, still wearing her “Cat That Ate The Canary” look.  “I guess you two are doing fine, aren’t you?”

 

“Peachy,” was Carmine’s terse reply.

 

Shirley came to the rescue.  “Actually, Laverne and I were thinking that we could all meet at the Pizza Bowl tonight for dinner.  You know, for old time’s sake.  Are you two interested?”

 

Carmine looked at the reclining blond.  “Can we stay?”

 

Rhonda grinned.  “We can always catch the Monday bus.  What’s a few more days between friends?”

 

FIN

 


FIN



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