The Imperfect Man, Part 7
By Missy


SERIES: The Imperfect Man
PART: 7 of 10
RATING: R (Some dark humor, cursing)
PAIRING(s): That's what I haven't decided yet (See notes)
DISTRIBUTION: To LW, Kai and FG (if the very act of reading this doesn't kill her) so far; any other archives are welcome to ask, but disclaimers must be included, my email left intact. send a URL, and provide full disclaimers as well as credit me fully. Please inform me if you are going to submit my work to any sort of search engine. Please do not submit my work to a search engine that picks out random sets of words and uses them as key words, such as "Google"
Please contact me in order for this story to be placed on an archive, or if you want know of a friend who would enjoy my works, please email me their address and I will mail them the stories, expressly for the purpose of link trading. MiSTiers are welcomed! Please do inform me that you'd like to do the MiSTing, however, and send me a copy of the finished product. I'd also love to archive any MiSTings that are made of my work!
CATEGORY: Dark Humor
PAIRING: Lenny/Laverne/Carmine triangle (There! I settled on one all by myself!; this blank will be filled after this chapter is read)
FEEDBACK: PLEASE?!
SETTING IN TIMELINE: California years, post "The Mummy's Bride".
SPOILLER/SUMMARY: When Laverne is given the impression that she's one week away from being killed, she makes one last, desperate search for love (And yes, this is a black comedy)

NOTES: this is a short but action-packed connecting chapter :)

****

"Shirl?!" Carmine's voice turned unnaturally high-pitched as he banged on the door. The sound of Lawrence Welk filled the air, "You damned bi-" the door flew open, and Shirley peered through.

"Are you alone?"

They all nodded, "Come in. Quickly."

They entered Shirley's spotless white living room, and she began to swiftly explain things. "It's all over the news; two crazy suicidal maniacs escaping a California asylum. I know you guys aren't THAT insane." She turned on her heel, looking back and forth between them, "Who's going to tell me what's going on?"

Laverne sighed, "A fortune teller told me I was gonna die, so I tried to kill myself."

"I was a vagrant!" Lenny said proudly.

"Vernie! Why didn't you call me?"

"Because nothing anyone does can change it? Don't you see? It's impossible to fight fate!"

"It's also impossible to fight the law, and I'm afraid I can't keep guy guys here."

"Shirley, this is an emergency; please, I'm begging you, we need to stay!"

Shirley shook her head, "Walter's due back any minute...can't you understand what this would do to his reputation?"

Carmine tore out of the room, rushing out to the car, with Lenny at his heels. Shirley grabbed Laverne, and then began whispering fervently to her best friend. They hugged, teary-eyed, before she joined them.

"Our best hope is to head for Canada." Carmine said, revving the motor. "Check the glove compartment."

Three leather-bound, navy blue passports tumbled into Laverne's lap.

"I called in one last favor." Carmine said grimly. "This should take care of us for awhile."

Laverne hugged Carmine, as they tore down the highway, "We're gonna make it!" She enthused, as Lenny glowered in the backseat.

***

About an hour from the Canadian border, they pulled off into a rest area. Lenny pitched a tent out of some old blankets, and he and Laverne crawled beneath its comforting shelter.

Carmine squatted by the fire, staring blankly into the orange and red flames. He wasn't surprised to see Laverne reflecting through them.

"Hey."

"Stay away from me." He said suddenly, "I know there's something wrong with you."

"Carmine, that's crazy." She said.

"Then why didn't you ask me any questions? The Laverne I know don't trust easy."

She shrugged, "Like I told Shirl...." She strolled up to him, then casually wrapped an arm around his neck, "I'm gonna die either way." She crawled into his lap, "Might as well live it up, right?"

He shrugged as she pressed her candied lips to his mouth. Shirley was lost to him. What difference would it make, after all?





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