SERIES: Striking The Print
PART: one of four pieces
RATING: PG (For language; eventual NC-17)
DISTRIBUTION: To LW, Kai, and FG so far; any other archives are welcome to ask (Please Email Me), but disclaimers must be included, my email left intact. send a URL, and provide full disclaimers as well as credit me fully. Please inform me if you are going to submit my work to any sort of search engine. Please do not submit my work to a search engine that picks out random sets of words and uses them as key words, such as "Google"
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DISCLAIMER: Laverne and Shirley, of course, not my property and belongs to its creators.
CATEGORY: Romance, Smut
Prequel To: Rolling The Camera
CANNON/SPOILERS: Alt canon for everything after The Robbery
SPOILLER/SUMMARY: How Lenny and Laverne ended up in Hawaii
NOTES: For Kath.
“You’re really going to do it?”
Her roomate’s tentative voice made a sigh of disgust rise from Laverne. She spritzed herself with another dose of Tabu and reached for her L-emblazoned green blouse. “Yep.”
Shirley plucked loose hair from her brush and tossed it in the garbage basket before returning it to her dresser drawer. “I could still make up an excuse if you need one,” she offered. “Eleanor’s cat looked pretty sick last Saturday. Maybe she needs a couple of extra hands,” Shirley winked hard three times.
Laverne chuckled as she finished buttoning her shirt. “I really wanna go out tonight, Shirl.”
Shirley sat down neatly on her bed, taking Boo Boo Kitty into her lap. “After everything you went through with Jake, Lenny must seem a downright breeze.”
Laverne laughed again – Lenny was anything but a breeze, more like a tornado. “What made you agree to go out with him tonight?”
“It started last week,” Laverne said, “remember Thursday? When you were out with bronchitis?”
Shirley winced. “Five years without a sick day ruined…”
“Me and Len had lunch alone together,” Laverne continued, “he gave me his last Ho Ho and asked if I wanted to come to the Godzilla marathon tonight.”
“What a romantic gesture,” Shirley said, sarcasm and true wonder in her voice. The roommates shared a laugh. They both knew that, to Lenny, this was romance.
She finished screwing her earrings into place, then grabbed her purse from its place in the bottom drawer. “Don’t worry about me,” Laverne instructed. “We’re just gonna have a little fun together, as friends.”
“So this isn’t a date?” Shirley inquired.
Laverne shuffled her shoulders. “It’s kind of a half-date. Sort of…Don’t give me that look, Shirl!”
“I have every right to give you ‘this look’!” Shirley admonished. “Sometimes I don’t think you realize how deeply Lenny feels for you. You should leave him alone, unless he tries to make a pass at you – then you sock him in the jaw.”
Laverne stiffened. “Yeah? What about the way you treat Squiggy?”
Shirley pursed her lips. “There isn’t and has never been a ‘me and Squiggy’. I’ve consistently made it VERY clear that I’m not interested in him. But you and Leonard…” Guilt prickled Laverne’s insides. Her feelings for Lenny…or lack of them…had always worried her conscious. She tried to shove them aside, to avoid thinking about them – it made her life easier. Shirley took her silence the wrong way. “Don’t lead him on,” she added, with surprising force. “Another broken heart is the last thing either of you needs.”
Laverne was reminded, bitterly, of Norman and Jake. “I’m not gonna lead him on,” Laverne rolled her eyes. “We’re just yanno…spending some time together…” they were in the living room by the time she turned around with a point. “Like the time you and Squiggy went to the zoo together.”
Shirley’s eyes narrowed. “Never mention that to me again.”
Laverne tucked her blouse in. “Uh huh,” she smiled. She grabbed her jacket out of the closet. “You got your spare key?”
“Tucked it into my purse this morning. Are you going to be late?” Shirley worried.
“I should be back by midnight.” Laverne shrugged. “They’re only running three pictures. Where’re you and Carmine going?”
Shirley was donning her jacket for the short walk downtown. “The usual; Pizza Bowl, then a half-pie and two beers.”
“And then back here for a make-out session?” Laverne teased.
Shirley blushed. “Laverne…”
Laverne wiggled her brows and smirked. “What? You making out with Carmine means it’s just a regular Saturday night,” she pointed out playfully.
Shirley closed the closet door. “Don’t wait up for me,” Shirley instructed, opening the front door.
On the doorstep, to their mutual surprise, stood Lenny. His enormous blue eyes seemed all white and no iris. “Uh duh…” he babbled, looking past Shirley, boring holes through Laverne with his stare.
“Laverne!” Shirley chirped brightly. “Your date’s here!”
Laverne spared Shirley a glare as she exited the apartment, then turned to Lenny and smiled. “Hey Len.” He said nothing, wearing a frozen expression. “Do you wanna come in?” He shook his head, then thrust out his left hand – clutched between Lenny’s fingers stood a fistful of red and pink carnations. Her heart sped up – men never gave her flowers, much less her favorite kind. “They’re pretty. Those for me?” he nodded. “They’re nice – real fresh,” she smiled, taking them and getting a vase. “Lemme put them in water…” she got into the kitchen, found a vase, ran the taps, then placed the flowers upright inside of the short green vessel. “You didn’t have to go to the trouble.” He gestured blandly, his tongue thick and motionless. She grabbed her coat and put it on. “We gotta go – the movie’s supposed to start in ten minutes…” He nodded dumbly, smiling, helping her. Laverne turned back and tied her sash. “Don’t you got anything to say?”
Lenny’s first words of the night were blurted out suddenly. “You’re beautiful.”
He seemed more himself once they were lost in the dark recesses of the theatre. Lenny bought a big box of popcorn and an even bigger box of Goobers, which they shared between them, fingers brushing occasionally against each other.
Laverne studied his expression during the boring parts when Godzilla wasn’t mushing up Tokyo. Odd how she’d never noticed how blue his eyes were – or how open his expression was. In the near-light of the theatre Lenny almost looked…handsome. Not that he was aware of his looks, as he stared open-mouthed at the screen, his concentration only broken when their fingers accidentally grazed in the corn. When it happened again, his cheeks turned a light shade of pink.
What was she thinking of? Forcing herself to watch the movie and ignore the warm, gentle sensation of their fingers brushing around in the greasy bin, Laverne tried not to wonder why she was having so much fun with Lenny. He was LENNY, for heaven’s sake. Goofy, dopey, smarmy, silly Lenny, whom she’d known since kindergarten. Dumb Lenny, who remembered what kind of flowers and movies she liked. Weird Lenny, who remembered her birthday and how much cream she liked in her coffee when most of the men she dated couldn’t tell her what color her eyes were…
She blinked and squirmed, discomfited by the sudden intimacy. Their fingers brushed again in the bucket. It was too much, and her hissed discouragement came out in a yell. “STOP THAT!” jolted him back into his seat, and in the pained silence that followed Laverne realized suddenly that everyone was looking at her and sank down into her plush seat.
“What?” Lenny whispered, looking like a wounded fawn.
“Watch the movie,” she snapped – and kept her hand out of the popcorn ‘til the show was over.
Laverne felt a rush of horror as they drove up to Arnolds. She’d pictured them bumming some beer and a pizza off of her father. “Len,” she whispered, “I’m kinda short on cash..” she had been wiped out in the first place, thanks to it being her month for the rent – after paying for popcorn and a soda, she was now flat broke.
“S’Ok, Laverne – I got it,” Lenny said, gallantly rushing about to help her out of the truck, grab her coat and escort her inside – all at once. He tripped right over himself and landed face-first on the pristine white apron of Al.
Embarrassed, he pushed himself away from the restaurateur’s cosseting hands. “I’m okay,” Lenny insisted, trying to deepen his voice.
Al clucked his tongue. “Watch out for your feet – Ralph Malph has the same problem. Broke two plates over the last six months.”
“Hey, Al. Two burgers, a large fry to split and a couple of ice cream sodas,” Laverne ordered, Shepparding Lenny to the nearest booth and sitting down before anyone could see them.
“All right. Lenny, Lenny, Lenny,” he scolded. “My brother told me over Salisbury steaks last Saturday that you haven’t been to confession in five years.”
Lenny clenched his jaw, staring right through Laverne. “Tell him I’m gonna be coming this Sunday.”
Al shrugged. “I’ll be back with your orders in a minute.”
Once they were alone, Lenny smiled warmly – when he reached for her hand she didn’t pull away. “You having a good time?”
Laverne smiled. “Yeahh…” she admitted softly. He stroked her knuckled with his fingertips and she pulled free of his grip. She tried to capture his darting eyes but he refused to meet her gaze. “Why’re you so nervous?”
“I ain’t nervous,” Lenny said.
“You’re sweaty,” Laverne retorted.
“It’s hot in here,” Lenny replied.
He squirmed. “I really want you to have fun tonight. Really really.”
“I am, Len,” she said tenderly. “You’re a real sweet guy.”
He snorted. “Yeah, sweet. You always say that…”
“You are – you’re nice to everyone even though you…” she hesitated. “Ain’t got a lot going for you.”
“But I’m more than that, Laverne,” he said quietly. “I want tonight to be special…”
“It is, special – I’m having a nice time,” she insisted.
“No,” he jerked her wrist over the table. “I want it to be perfect…”
“Laverne…” he said throatily, “I really like you….”
Al arrived with their meals. “Here you go! Enjoy!”
They were halfway through before Laverne ventured again, “don’t try so hard, Len,” she said. “You’re doing okay.”
He looked up. “Yeah?”
“Uh huh,” she smiled. Niceness was a requirement at the moment – poor Lenny looked ready to have a nervous breakdown. After they finished and he paid the check, they drove toward home in his truck.
Laverne buried herself in her wandering thoughts. She had indeed had a fun time with Lenny – had felt the usual comfortable conviviality she always felt when they were together. He was fun; she liked him a lot.
Then why was she so disturbed by the way he touched her? When had it started feeling so good – so natural – to feel him caresses her fingers?
The truck swerved alarmingly to the left, and suddenly Lenny flung open his door and hopped to the pavement. Laverne hopped out, worrying that the legend about Al’s food had proven true and if she would need to drive them home. To her astonishment, Lenny wasn’t heaving on the curb – he was lying in a patch of grass and a mountain of red and gold leaves, squirming his arms and legs.
“What the heck are you doing?” she asked, hands on her hips.
“Makin’ leaf angels,” Lenny said, as if it were the most reasonable idea he’d ever had.
“Are you crazy?” she squawked, wincing – hating that she sounded like a prim Shirley.
Lenny stopped wiggling and looked up at her. He grabbed her, dragged her into the dirt and began kicking again.
Laverne stared up at the night sky, somewhere between laughter and incredulity. “LEN!”
He was laughing, his deep, strange laugh, and it so encouraged her that she joined in. Kicking, waving her arms, she finally jumped up, red-faced from the cold and her laughter – Lenny did the same, slipping an arm around her.
He laughed. “Yours looks like it has two heads!”
She had indeed been thrashing it in laughter. “That’s my halo,” she said. Lenny’s was strangely, perfectly made.
“You with a halo,” he snorted as they went back to the truck. “I think I seen everything.”
As they parked before their building, he said suddenly, “me and Squig do that all the time – whenever we see a big pile of leaves,” he said.
“What do you do when you see a pile of snow?” she smirked.
He blushed. “I can’t do that with you…” he got up, opened the door, helped her out, and escorted her to her place. “Can girls write their names, too?”
She winced, “no, Len.”
He shook his head. “That’s why it ain’t no fun to be a chick.”
She checked the door – still locked. “Yeah – well, I had fun.”
“So,” Lenny said. “I guess this is it…”
“Yep,” Laverne smiled.
“So, I guess I’ll…see you around,” Lenny said, tucking his hands at the small of his back, rocking on his heels.
“That’s right,” Laverne said.
“Night…” he said.
“Yep…” she put her keys in the lock.
“So long…” he said, not moving an inch.
“Hasa la vista…”
She looked back at him, standing there expectantly in his nicest suit and flatly-combed hair. He looked for all the world like a psychotic ventriloquist’s dummy, with that bizarre intensity of his – but he was Lenny. Poor, sweet-faced, kind-hearted Lenny.
Her arms shot out and wrapped around him, boosting her two necessary inches to his mouth.
The kiss was unlike any she’d given before – starting gentle, slowly becoming tender, gradually filling with passion. His tongue poked at her teeth before she parted them, shocking herself by sucking him into her mouth. His hand had roamed from her back across the side of her left breast before she pushed him away.
Lenny was red-faced and grinning, his eyes snapping bright blue as he stared at her. Laverne could barely figure out what she felt – warm, aroused, unbelievably confused….
Then she felt the bumps rising on her cheek, her arms, her belly….
Goosebumps. She felt her brain begin to pound as it raced to process what she felt.
Her speaking voice sounded like a cross between Tallulah Bankhead and a frog. “Night,” she managed, shoving the door open and tumbling backward into the apartment.
As she tripped her way to the shower, she heard Lenny moaning as he bit his palm.
TBCTo Part 2