Sinners Have Soul
By Missy

SERIES: Sinners Have Soul
PART: one of one
Author: Missy
PAIRING(s): See Kath's "Duality"(You'll See)

DISTRIBUTION: To LW, Kai, and FG so far; any other archives are welcome to ask (Please Email Me), but disclaimers must be included, my email left intact. send a URL, and provide full disclaimers as well as credit me fully. Please inform me if you are going to submit my work to any sort of search engine. Please do not submit my work to a search engine that picks out random sets of words and uses them as key words, such as "Google"

Please contact me in order for this story to be placed on an archive, or if you want know of a friend who would enjoy my works, please email me their address and I will mail them the stories, expressly for the purpose of link trading. MiSTiers are welcomed! Please do inform me that you'd like to do the MiSTing, however, and send me a copy of the finished product. I'd also love to archive any MiSTings that are made of my work!

DISCLAIMER: Laverne and Shirley, of course, not my property and belongs to its creators.

CANNON/SPOILERS: Milwaukee era
SPOILLER/SUMMARY: Shirley's actions lead Lenny to a face down his mortality.
NOTES: Sort of a response fic to Kath's "Duality"; She may not have heard it, but Shirley's words sounded an awful lot like a suicide note to me.

Quote lovingly ripped off from "The Color Purple." Lenny is the L&S-dom's Celie, after all....


Why couldn't I be the guy to find her?

No. Vernie did. She said she was face-down on her bed, and she didn't think anything was wrong.

Untill she pulled back the sheets.

She had cut two crosses in her wrists; big ones, like the ones at the church. She bled all over Boo Boo Kitty.

And I know if she were alive, she would hate that. Hate it. Because she loved being pretty and neat.

I knew it was her when they showed me what she wrote.

How much she hated herself.

How dirty I made her feel.

Vernie gave me her Rosary. Think that's going to make me feel better?

Sante Domni Christi. Amen

I thought she liked me. I really thought she liked me. You know, you don't do stuff like that to someone, unless someone likes you.

And I didn't tell no one.

She told everyone. She had to, before she left. God forbid I get the last word.

What did it feel like, Shirl? When you were cuttin' yourself up? Laverne said you had tears all over your face. It hurt did I hurt you?

You didn't even kill yourself for me. You killed yourself so you could leave, and no one else would know.

Didn't you know they'd read your diary?

I'm a horrible person. I know that now. I'm a horrible person who makes people do worse things. I left Laverne crying in the middle of the road.

She knows what I'm gonna do.

And I wonder: what's it gonna feel like, when I slam into this wall, huh? Is it gonna hurt? Or is it just the end?

I hope there's no heaven. 'Cause I just want it to be over and done.

I. Just. Wanna. Sleep.

I don't ever want to think about what I did with you, what I thought I gave to you...

And I'm gunnin' the motor, and I'm starin' at this wall, and you know...What's the truth, the real, real truth? You don't deserve my last breath. You don't deserve my soul. I'm givin' that to God. I'm givin' my heart to Laverne. She needs it. She's gonna be alone.

You left her.

You left us both.

Fuck you, I don't want to think of you. So I'm closin' my eyes, and I think of mamma, with her beautiful eyes and her beautiful hair, and how much she loved me...

See, Mamma? Sinners have soul, too!

...I swear.....God...

All I wanted was someone to love me....

The End

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