SERIES: The Rainbows of Her Reason

PART: 2 of ??

RATING: R (Adult thematic material, adult content)

PAIRING(s): L/L; S/C; S/R; F/E; S/W

DISTRIBUTION: To LW, Kai, Myself and FG so far; any other archives are welcome to ask, but disclaimers must be included, my email left intact. send a URL, and provide full disclaimers as well as credit me fully. Please inform me if you are going to submit my work to any sort of search engine.  Please do not submit my work to a search engine that picks out random sets of words and uses them as key words, such as "Google"

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CATEGORY: Romance/AU/Sci-Fi

FEEDBACK: PLEASE?!

SETTING IN TIMELINE: Post-Show, but Dark and AU.

SPOILLER/SUMMARY: Laverne is given a rare opportunity - to go back and re-imagine her life.  Is this new chance a blessing or a curse?

NOTES: This is occasionally wildly AU and may be dark at times.  I have, however, tried to keep everyone IC.  You have been warned!

And remember: Laverne's thoughts are in italics.

***

Laverne stared at Lenny, wide-eyed and unable to muster even a 'good morning.'  He watched her with wide, expectant eyes, visibly waiting for her to wish him a happy anniversary, too.

She found her voice abruptly.  "Happy anniversary," she whispered, her voice an unintended breath of seduction.  He chuckled happily, kissing the side of her neck.  She felt the flesh on the back of his neck turn to goosebumps. 

"Mmm...I love your sexy voice.  I ain't heard it since you had Allegra."

I named my kid Allegra?  "Yeah, I guess I've just been real tired."

He sighed, leaning back a little from her.  "I told ya I understand.  Squiggy says having babies takes a lot out of a woman."

Laverne scoffed.  "What does Squiggy know about women?"

"A whole lot!" Lenny said proudly.  "He was the one that told me women're made out of water, and that's why they cry so much."

Sounds like Squiggy.  "I don't think Squig's been near a woman in a long time."

Lenny frowned at her.  "Rhonda ain't a woman?"

Squiggy and Rhonda?!  But the last time I saw Rhonda, she was on a bus to Reno... "Oh, Rhonda.  I forgot all about Rhonda..."

The furrows on Lenny's brow deepened.  "Your voice sounds funny.  You ain't gettin' Kenny's cold, are ya?"  He kissed her forehead.

"No, I feel good." Better than good - I don't got a hangover for the first time in three years.

"In that case..." Lenny's tone became most sly as he squeezed Laverne, kissing the back of her neck again.  She felt herself stiffening in resistance.  How could she make love to Lenny when she didn't love him?

Why does he wanna do this with me when I'm big as a whale?

Thankfully, at least for the moment, she wouldn't have to deal with that question.  Their bedroom door creaked open, admitting two top-volume, full-speed children and one slightly slower and infinitely sulkier pre-teen.  The younger children pitched themselves onto their parent's bed, and the older stood at their bedside, visibly annoyed.  Lenny had managed to roll away from Laverne and was smiling brightly by the time the kids entered the room.

"Happy birthday, Mommy," the two younger children cried out, planting chocolate-scented kisses all over her face and then squirming out of her limp arms and crawling over their father.  Laverne watched the picture her family made - somehow belonging, somehow feeling as though she could never be a real part of this world. 

The youngest one - a blond girl of about five with wavy hair and bright green eyes, pressed a card into her hands.  "I made it in school," she said.  Laverne unfolded the yellow construction paper and saw a large red heart and a childish scrawl: Mommy, I Love You.

How can I love you, when I don't even know you?

"It's really pretty," Laverne managed to say, her throat thick.

"What do you say, Allegra?" Lenny asked the little blond girl.

"Thank you."

Laverne bit back her tears.  Mommy.  She had been called mommy.  The joy lasted until she saw the little boy wiping his nose on their quilt.

"Kenny!" Laverne shouted, causing the little boy with his bowl cut to jump.  She looked around her for a box of tissue, found one on her beside table, then plucked a white disposable Kleenex from its box.  She pressed it to the boy's nose.  "Blow," she ordered, and he did - when he finished and she tossed away the tissue with natural precision.  Woah.  Where did that come from?

"You wanna climb in too, Mary?"

The red-headed pre-teen scoffed at her father's request.  "Tuh.  Climbing into bed with your parents is, like, so Deliverance."

"You used to love to jump on the bed.  I still got a hernia from where you used to bounce on my tummy to wake me up," Lenny replied.

Mary rolled her eyes.  "Duh!  When I was eight!"

"Two years make that big of a difference?"

So Mary's gonna be ten.  We cut it kinda close there, Len.  "Don't fight.  It's my birthday."

"You heard your mom," Lenny said superiorly.

Mary snorted.  "Can I go to Marah's house now?"

"You know we're gonna...uh...Laverne, cover your ears."

Laverne obliged Lenny.  She couldn't quite make out what he was saying to their oldest daughter, but Mary was upset about it - she literally picked up her brother and sister, dragged them off the bed, and left the room. 

Lenny sighed, kissing Laverne's forehead.  Realizing that the fight was over, Laverne uncovered her ears.

"I'm sorry.  I was hoping Mary wouldn't wanna fight today."  He sighed, then pushed away the covers and slipped out of bed. 

"She's almost a teenager," Laverne said.  Don't you remember how much we fought with our folks, Len? "She wants to make her own choices."

"It's your birthday, though - I told her to be nice."  He pulled on his boxer shorts, and then pulled on a tee-shirt, both from discard piles on the floor.  Guess I'm still not that good of a housekeeper.  "Shower's all yours," he grinned.  "You deserve the hot water more than me."

"Don't you wanna brush your teeth?"

"Nah - I can do it after breakfast."  He grinned at her as she climbed gingerly out of bed and found a robe printed with red roses lying sprawled across the back of her chair.  "Hey," he said, as she tied the sash in a knot around her waist.  "Rain check for tonight?"

Not if I can figure my way out of this.  "Sure."

**

"What's all this?"

Laverne had dawdled in the shower, enjoying the luxury of a fresh bar of soap.  She hadn't been able to afford hot water in three months and had gotten quite used to cold showers.  She scrubbed her already-clean skin, brushed her no-longer-rotting teeth, and vainly brushed out her practical shag haircut until it shone in the artificial bathroom light.  She stared at her pregnant belly, feeling the strange fullness of life within herself but felt disassociated from it.  She could not recall giving birth to the three children who resembled her so - worse yet, she could not recall the conception of the child rolling within her. 

Automatically, she functioned, trying desperately not to think - thinking would send her on a quest for scotch to dull her fright - and dressed in maternity pants and a loose red top.  She snickered at her reflection, reminded of her ancient nightmare of old age and obesity. 

The cheery green-toned kitchen and the kitchen table filled with her favorite childhood breakfast were quite a jolt, compared to her usual, solitary breakfasts.  Not to mention the sparklingly clean and reasonably well-mannered children waiting by the table.  "Surprise!" the piped together, even Mary.

Lenny pulled out her chair and seated Laverne.  "Got your favorite - blueberry pancakes, bacon and sausage with juice."  Laverne stared at the meal set out before her.  Her silence set Lenny into motion.  "You got your morning sickness back?"

"No," she smiled at them.  "Thanks so much," she whispered.

"It ain't nothing," Lenny clapped his hands together.  "Come on, kids - we're goin' out!"

The whoops of delight and happy chatter increased as the kids filtered out through the living room.

"Wait - where're you going?" Laverne wondered.

"I'm takin' the kids out to breakfast, then to a movie.  Aww, don't lookit me like that -you're cooped up with 'em all week, you don't get no time alone with your friends."

"But-"

He gently kissed her lips.  "We'll be back by two.  DON'T TOUCH THE LAUNDRY.  RELAX, okay?" He pushed through the double doors and into the living room.  "Say goodbye to mom, kids."

Allegra and Kenny said "goodbye, Mommy” politely, but Mary could be heard complaining as the rest of the Kosnowskis left the house.

Laverne pushed her pancakes around on the plate, remembering the awfulness of Lenny's cooking.  The memories were almost enough to make her rationalize not eating the dish due to morning sickness, but the fluffiness and the golden brown scent wafting up from the short stack made her decide to take a little bite.  And it was truly good - warm, soft and creamy, bursting all over with sweet blueberries.  She wondered if Lenny had somehow improved his culinary skills, or if Mary had done the cooking.

But you're in a new world.  Maybe this Lenny's a good chef.

She wasn't sure quite the proper way to react to her new situation, and missed the security blanket of her alcohol, but knew that taking even the smallest drink would inhibit the baby within her body.  Laverne felt bewildered and isolated from the rest of the world, unable to know where she was going and what she was doing.

Make the most of it.  It's better than drinking yourself to death alone, isn't it?

She heard the kitchen door open and looked over her shoulder.  "D'you forget your keys?"

The person standing behind her was definitely not Lenny.  Standing there with a large box of chocolates and a bottle of Pepsi, she looked as beautiful, as petite, as gentle as she had the day she walked out the door with Doctor Walter Meeny.

Laverne didn't allow room for words.  They were meaningless as she got to her feet and waddled with dignity and speed to her best friend and embraced her as if she might disappear once again.

And a perplexed Shirley held onto her best friend, unable to explain away the tears on her face.