Long, Long Time
By Missy

RATING: PG
DISTRIBUTION: To Squeaky, LW, Kai and FG so far; any other archives are welcome to ask, but disclaimers must be included, my email left intact. send a URL, and provide full disclaimers as well as credit me fully. Please inform me if you are going to submit my work to any sort of search engine. Â Please do not submit my work to a search engine that picks out random sets of words and uses them as key words, such as "Google"
Please contact me in order for this story to be placed on an archive, or if you want know of a friend who would enjoy my works, please email me their adress and I will mail them the stories, expressly for the purpose of link trading. MiSTiers are welcomed! Please do inform me that you'd like to do the MiSTing, however, and send me a copy of the finished product. I'd also love to archive any MiSTings that are made of my work!
NOTES: 'shippers, bewarned; this one got me teary even as I was writing it. Major angst ahead!
CATEGORY: L&L (sort of), Drama, heavy angst.
SONG USED: Long, Long Time: Performed by Linda Rondstadt.
FEEDBACK: PLEASE?!
SPOILLER/SUMMARY: It's time for Lenny to finally move on with his life..

****

Underneath the bluish light of a street lamp, one blond head bowed in a rainstorm. His fingers moved over each strand of catgut, tautly strung over the body of a guitar, as though he might give it blessing.

Remembering how she'd reacted to his original material, he made sure to select a song that wasn't of his own creation. All of it, every note, his last gift to her.

His eyes were trained like a homing falcon on the half-moon of light high above him. Her bedroom window, staining his face to yellow.

He stepped into her light and sang,

Love will abide take things in stride
Sounds like good advice but there's no one at my side
And time washes clean love's wounds unseen
That's what someone told me
But i don't know what it means
'Cause i've done everything i know
To try and make you mine
And i think i'm gonna love you for a long, long time

(She'd never remember the little things that they had accomplished together; small events that meant everything to him. Being eight and hanging out at the candy store; sitting in front of their old building and singing together. Love had started for him then, and he didn't have the guile to turn it on and off, to charm her.

Puberty had only served to make things worse, for where once he was charmed, now was he smitten. Heart revving to life whenever they would talk, hang out. When she started to date, it wasn't with him.

Then came Anne Marie and Shirley, and he was suddenly barred out of her life, branded by his lust as a weird, disgusting boy. He and Hector and Squiggy hovered on the outskirts of their lives, pop-eyed, trying to see a hint of flesh. One spark to give him a lifetime of fantasies.

He'd never let her know how many women had been used in a vain attempt to replace her. )

Caught in my fears blinking back the tears
I can't say it hurt me when you never let me near
And i never drew one response from you
All the while you fell all over boys you never knew
'Cause i've done everything i know
To try and make you mine
And i think it's gonna hurt me for a long, long time

(Did she really believe that it was all an accident, their ending up in the same building together? Working for the same brewery? He had followed her across the county, leaving behind a promotion. But she didn't understand him, always brushing him off, kidding. So, along the line, he'd started to wise up.

He could never quite erase the feeling of her touch, the sensation of her kisses. They would haunt him to the grave.)

Wait for the day you'll go away
Knowin' that you warned me of the price i'd have to pay
And life's full of loss, who knows the cost
Livin' in the memory of a love that never was

(But he could not live this way anymore, torturing himself under the constant strain of embarrassing, scarring knowledge. She would never love him as desperately as he loved her. Awareness made him keener, made him realize that his body stood at the crossroads and his soul could not afford to look back.)

Cause i've done everything i know
To try and change your mind
And i think i'm gonna miss you for a long, long time

(In his pocket was a one-way plane ticket to New York, and Karen's phone number. He'd call Squiggy later, let him know what was going on. She wouldn't miss him until it was too late. Let her feel guilt then, when it was too late. Some bitter part of him smiled at that thought.)

'Cause i've done everything i know
To try and make you mine
And i think i'm gonna love you for a long, long time

His eyes turned back to that filmy light coming from her window. No sign of motion, that anyone upstairs had heard his heart being poured out on the muddy grass.

"Bye, Laverne," He said out loud.

Then he did the only thing he could have done. Turned and walked away from Laurel Vista, knowing that he'd never return.

Never seeing her unearthly light go out as he crossed the lawn.