I Never Promised You a Pepsi Tree, Part 13
By Missy

SERIES: I Never Promised You a Pepsi Tree
PART: thirteen, of an undetermined length
Author: Missy
Email: lasfic@yahoo.com
RATING: R, for heavy angst, language and dark themes
PAIRING(s): Richie/S/C; Fonzie/Lenny/Laverne; Pos. Carmine/Rosie Greenbaum

DISTRIBUTION: To LW, Kai, and FG so far; any other archives are welcome to ask (Please Email Me), but disclaimers must be included, my email left intact. send a URL, and provide full disclaimers as well as credit me fully. Please inform me if you are going to submit my work to any sort of search engine. Please do not submit my work to a search engine that picks out random sets of words and uses them as key words, such as "Google"

Please contact me in order for this story to be placed on an archive, or if you want know of a friend who would enjoy my works, please email me their address and I will mail them the stories, expressly for the purpose of link trading. MiSTiers are welcomed! Please do inform me that you'd like to do the MiSTing, however, and send me a copy of the finished product. I'd also love to archive any MiSTings that are made of my work!

DISCLAIMER: Laverne and Shirley, of course, not my property and belongs to its creators.

CATEGORY: Epic Drama
Crossover: HD/LS
CANNON/SPOILERS: Milwaukee; pre-California cannon; HD pre-Lorrie Beth
FEEDBACK: PLEASE?!
SPOILLER/SUMMARY: Disaster strikes when one of the girls comes up pregnant.
NOTES: One chapter left before this one's over...

****

The only person able to utter a sentence after such a revelation was the person least involved in the mess.

"Oh my; how could such a thing happen?" Marion Cunningham asked.

Shirley flushed. "Mrs. Cunningham, I couldn't possibly say in front of you-" Her eyes fell on Joanie. "Or your little one."

"Oh, nonsense, dear." She patted Joanie on the shoulder. "Joanie has to go to the lady's room, anyway."

"I do not!" Cried Joanie

"You do." Marion insisted. The meaning in Marion's voice told Joanie that she wasn't about to win.

"Why do they always kick me out when it gets good?" The girl grumbled, leaving the vestibule of the church. Marion, however, went with her.

Lenny, Laverne, Richie and Fonzie gathered around Shirley. An explanation was warranted, and Shirley, under the deepest pain of her life, delivered it.

"It was a regular night, and I thought it was a regular date. I'll never forget his name; Doug Samson. We went out for dinner and we danced. He was tall, and he had sandy hair. I thought-" He voice caught. "-I thought we were having a wonderful time. He said he would drive me home, and I accepted. How was I supposed to know he-" She broke down, crying against Richie's shoulder. "He said no one would believe me, if I told. That it was my fault. I found out later that he was married."

"I believe you, Shirl." Lenny said, in a small voice.

"You don't have to say anymore, Shirley." Urged Richie gently.

Fonzie glared. "I wanna hear why ya decided to dupe me."

"We didn't decide to...not at the beginning." Shirley took a deep breath. "I had to crawl my way back into the apartment. He tore something inside of me, and I couldn't stop bleeding...Lenny found me in the hallway."

Fonzie's eyes broke through Lenny like heated daggers.

"He carried me inside, and Laverne...she said the only doctor she knew was Rosie's husband. He...did pre-med. So Laverne walked through the snow with Lenny and they brought him back, and they left me alone with Ogden." She took a deep breath. "We made Ogden swear he wouldn't tell anyone, but he's become unhinged. Rosie knows, too. He gave me something, and it put me out. I found out later on, much later, that Laverne and Lenny..." She turned pink and swallowed. "That's not for me to say. When you and Laverne began dating, it...was possible that she was pregnant by you or Lenny."

Lenny's expression was inscrutable. Laverne squirmed beneath his gaze.

"Why did you screw him?" Fonzie snapped. Laverne blanched.

"I wanted...to know if all guys were like that." Laverne said quietly, and Lenny's palm caressed her shoulder.

Shirley stood on shaky legs. "You can do what you like. Even get married now. But I couldn't let the truth stay hidden. I couldn't let you get married thinking Laverne was having your baby. And if you want to be mad." She felt Richie's hand close upon her wrist. "Be mad at me. Laverne's my angel for keeping the secret safe for so long."

Fonzie snapped his fingers. "Wedding's off." He turned to Laverne. "Gimmie back the ring."

She rolled her eyes, dropping it back into his hand.

Richie and Shirley walked out into the rain, hand in hand. "Richie?" Shirley started tentatively. "You have to stay beside me. I've had enough of honor in the past few months to last me a lifetime."

Richie's smile was genial. "Shirley, I like you a lot. And if you're pregnant, it's not your fault." He coughed, dropping her hand. "If you need my help, you know where you can come."

Shirley nodded. "Thank you, Richie." She looked out into the rain. "It's a nice way to end things."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, protecting her from the downpour with his jacket. "It's more like a beginning."

Laverne walked at Lenny's side. "Glad ya didn't marry Fonzie?" He asked suddenly.

Despite herself, she nodded. "I don't love him, Len. When I was with him it felt wrong." Her fingers locked into hers. "I can tell ya what felt right, tho..."

He kissed her nose. "Don't say nothin' else. Or else I'll put somethin' else on that finger."

He was holding her close. "Vernie?"

"Mmm?"

"Don't go to California. Stay here with me. Please?"

And out in the rain they kissed, oblivious to the rest of the world.

***

Ten years later

"What do you say to Mister Carmine, kids?"

Three little girls with gingery blonde hair squirmed shyly. "Thank you, Mister Carmine." The chorused.

Laverne smiled, carefully climbing to her feet without tilting over, thanks to her pregnancy weight. She picked up the baby, Natashya in her arms. "Thanks, Carmine."

He jumped to his feet. "Hey, Carmine's Marjorie Ward caters to everyone's needs." He smiled, shaking Lenny's hand. "The wife'll cash you out."

Two steps from the aqua-walled "shoeroom", Rosie Ragusa sat behind a cash register. "Three pairs of taps? That'll be thirty-"

"Rose?" Carmine asked.

She groaned. "Ten dollars." As Lenny rolled the crisp ten across the desk, Laverne smirked at Rose. "Pizza Bowl doing well?"

"Very well." Laverne said. "Or may it's the money from Lenny's bein' the new dispatcher. Hmmm..." She knew what Rosie didn't; that her Pop was very close to buying Arnold's, as Arnold himself was about to leave town. If the deal went through, she would be a co-owner, and the restaurant would basically be her responsibility.

"Don't brag, Vernie."

"Why?" Laverne asked her husband.

He kissed her neck. "'Cause, it's a mortal sin."

She purred, ignoring the tiny thrumming of little feet on her shin.

"Gross!" came the cry beside them. This broke their kiss.

"Who wants ice cream?" She said, not breaking her gaze into Lenny's eyes.

"Mee!" Three voices chorused.

"Wanna come with us?" Laverne asked Carmine.

"Nah, we still got three hours left. Two sets of twins."

"Twins? Oh no, not the Donaldsons..." Rosie groaned.

"Yeah, why?"

"Cause they got ti-"

"We'll see you guys." Lenny said swiftly, leading the kids out of the shop to the sound of Carmine and Rosie's familiar but not very serious bickering.

They walked in their customary manner; three kids between them, dance shoes tied up in boxes held tightly to their sides. Having so many kids so close together prevented the kids chattered so excitedly that they couldn't get a word in edgewise until they got back to the Pizza Bowl. There Frank was so delighted to see them that a free frame of bowling and ice cream cones were offered in seconds. Alone, Lenny leaned against his wife.

"Back hurt?" She asked.

"Yeah."

She kneaded her fingers over a tense spot on the back of his neck. "Told ya not to slide into that base."

"We had one man down, Laverne. I had ta."

"Mmm," she hummed against his neck.

"Have ya heard from Shirley and Richie lately?"

Laverne's fingers froze upon Lenny's neck. It had been ten years since Shirley and Richie had married, just a day after Richie's college graduation. She had been round with child, and while the Cunninghams hadn't been pleased with Richie's sense of honor, they had all been delighted by Tony Cunningham's birth. Howard had always dreamed of his son becoming a partner in the hardware store; Richie instead had followed his fantasy to California, making himself a top reporter at the Los Angeles Times, and Shirley a mother five times over.

Laverne understood why her friend had moved across the country; in Milwaukee, she would always carry the stain of sin, at least in the priggish eyes of the neighbors. Even the discovery that it was Ogden who had destroyed Richie's car didn't lesson the quiet reproach that Shirley had endured as an expectant single mother. In California, she had a fresh, happy start.

But she barely heard from her best friend.

"She and Richie are expecting again."

Lenny looked over his shoulder at her. "I thought she was gonna stop at three kids."

She kissed the back of Lenny's neck again. "Shirl always wanted a big family."

"Yeah, but that means we're more careful than she is." He turned in the booth, deliberately glanced at Laverne's rounding belly.

She kissed his chin. "Well, she's Protestant."

"What does that-" He paused. "That's mean, Vernie."

"It's not a joke!"

He poked her. "Just fer that, we're goin' to the Fonzarelli Stunt Spectacular tomorrow."

She pouted. "Okay, even." Fonzie had moved on from Laverne in a big way, finally marrying Pinky Tuscadero in a big, splashy wedding months ago. They had adopted two children, one from one of Fonzie's ex-girlfriend, and he had generally reclaimed his old self. Laverne knew now how bad they would have been for one another; she and Fonzie seemed to bring the worst out in each other.

"Someday-" Lenny said, turning around in the booth. "I'm takin' you away from all this. We're gonna have a big house on the East Side, like the Cunninghams, and-"

She caressed his nose. "No. Everything's wonderful like this."

"Really?"

She kissed his chin. "And I wouldn't want it any other way."

They kissed then, never noticing the presence of a very familiar man exiting the men's room. He paused at the sight of them, unsure of what to do.

Then, with a bittersweet smile, he turned on his heel and returned to the table, dinner and his wife.


The End!

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