PART: 1 of 1

RATING: NC-17 (Explicit M/F sexual relations including  oral and manual sex; Adult Content)

PAIRING(s): L/L; S/C

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CATEGORY: Romance

FEEDBACK: PLEASE?!

SETTING IN TIMELINE: Fic deviates from canon just after "Separate Tables," in the middle of "Not Quite New York." 

SPOILLER/SUMMARY: "So do you wanna make a baby?" "...Now?"  "After you put down the penne pan." (Lavenny, pr0n)

***

I hope marinara doesn't stick to the ceiling, Laverne worried as she entered her festively-decorated but tiny apartment.  "Hey!"

Lenny spun around, his face, blue baseball shirt and her flower-decked apron dotted with blobs of tomato paste.  "Did you remember the cannolis?" he blurted.

She grinned and held out a small white box wrapped with twine.  "Got 'em on my way back from Green Bay."

Lenny's whole body slumped in relief.   "Okay - chicken parm and penne is out of the oven, bread's hot, salad's in the fridge, we got wine, we got soda..."

"Butter?"

He smacked his forehead.  "BUTTER!" he ran over to the refrigerator and pulled it out, placing it on their neatly-decorated kitchen table.  He really hadn't missed anything; their scuffed swap meet table had been covered with a pretty blue-and-white checked cloth, their not-quite matching mixed lot silverware had been brightly polished and set for five, the high chair they had borrowed from Mary Spirito had been cleaned and set between what should become Carmine and Shirley's places, and hot bread and butter awaited the eminent arrival of their friends.  "S'that okay?"

"Hold on!  I forgot something..."

He whined, "oh no, what'd I forget?  Did Jenny get allergic to cheese?  Does Chianti make Carmine's feet swell up?"

She walked into the kitchen, put down the cannolis, leaned in and pressed him against the refrigerator.  "Thanks for doing all of this," she said, and kissed a particularly sensitive point beneath his chin.

She was rewarded with gooseflesh.  "You had to work late."

Her fingers walked up his chest.  "You coulda gone to the track with Squig, but you stayed home and cooked.  It ain't every day all our friends fly into town."

"Squig already stopped by; he's bringing someone."

Her fingers involuntarily tightened on a tuft of chest hair escaping the collar of his shirt.  "Please tell me she ain't a stripper."

"Nahh," Lenny said.  "Squig told me she's does a mean fan dance if you give her a fiver...Ow!!  It don't count as stripping if you don't see boobs, Laverne!"

Laverne smirked and held up a tiny blond hair. "She better keep her top on while Shirl, Carmine and Jenny're here."

He smiled, and something inside of her spine seemed to relax and melt.  "You're really excited 'bout seeing her, aren't ya?"

She grinned.  "It ain't every day I get to see my goddaughter now that Carmine and Shirl're living in Chicago."  It had been over three years since Shirley and Carmine had packed up and moved to the "bigger" city in Illinois, where Carmine had a sizable role in the forming and continuation of the Chicago Reparatory Company.  It paid very well, to the point that Shirley and Carmine already had a little six-month old, Jenny. 

Playing with the soft folds of her husband's neck, Laverne mused to herself that Shotz' going automated had been a big boon for all of them.  If she and Shirley hadn't had their lives shaken up by the automation boom, Shirley wouldn't have followed Carmine to Chicago, and Laverne wouldn't have had to move in with Lenny and Squiggy to save expenses.

She grinned wickedly.  After a few months, she and Lenny had been sharing more than the rent.  No wonder Squig had run for his life to California after a couple of years of being between the two of them and walking in on way too many Friday night quickies than he wanted to witness.

"Aww, you're doing that smile - you know what that smile does to me..."

Laverne tried to wipe the look off of her face, but it didn't seem to successful.  Lenny lunged at her, and she dodged him.

"They're gonna be here too soon, Len!"

"Aww," he pouted like a child. 

"Later," she urged gently.  He took off and hung up her apron as she busied herself fluffing cushions.  The apartment had been vacuumed the night before so that Shirley wouldn't worry about her 'living in a pestheap'.  Because her Pop lived a few blocks away she made sure that the place was always presentable.  Lenny was pretty good about helping out with chores and making sure the utility money ended up where it needed to be.   It was a pretty good marriage, she thought to herself.

Laverne glanced furtively at her husband and realized there were a couple of lingering drawbacks to being Lenny's wife.  He had changed after work into an orange Hawaiian shirt and a fresh pair of jeans - miraculously none of which were spattered with tomato sauce, but none of which screamed 'young happily married man.'  She looked down at her jeans and plaid shirt and decided they would both have to stay the way they were.  Lack of fashion sense was one of the crosses they bore together, she grimaced and looked down at herself.

A 'shave and a haircut' knock sounded at the door, flinging Laverne onto her feet.  Lenny cut her off on her way to the door and she smacked face-first into the middle of his back as he opened it.

"Hey, it's the Ragoo Family!" Carmine yelled, his voice quickly no match for the excited shrieking of two best friends long denied physical contact.  Laverne wrapped her slightly-plump Shirley and the two girlfriends hopped up and down, shrieking until a loud thumping sounded at their feet.

"Sorry, Mister Antini!" Laverne and Lenny yelled down to their downstairs neighbor, automatically and simultaneously.  Laverne quickly turned back to admiring her best friend.

Shirley looked marvelous; the extra weight from her pregnancy added well to her birdish curves, her eyes glowed and her cheeks were beautifully pink, and she wore a green-and-pink flowered dress that accentuated her new figure marvelously and a new pea coat.  "You look great!" Laverne exclaimed.

Shirley smiled bashfully.  "I'm terribly chubby," she contradicted. 

"She keeps saying that," Carmine rolled his eyes.

Laverne shook her head.  "You're beautiful - being married agrees with you!"

"As it agrees with you!" Shirley retorted.  A soft cry from beside her diverted their attention - Carmine tried to pacify his daughter's protest with a bottle, but she pushed it away and reached out for her mother.

Carefully, Carmine transferred Jenny to Shirley - Laverne watched as Shirley tenderly soothed her daughter away from tears with a stroking hand.

"You see her," Shirley asked, in a squeaky, high-pitched voice, "that's your auntie Vernie!"  the brown-eyed girl peered out at Laverne from under a mop of very dark brown curls.  Shyly, Laverne smiled and waved back.  "Would you like to hold her?"

"I thought you was never gonna ask!"

Eagerly, Shirley handed her little girl to Laverne, and Laverne looked down into those dark brown eyes.  The woman and the woman-to-be eyed each other until Laverne felt a soft head snuggle comfortably against her breast.  In reaction she ran her hand gently over the girl's head, a comforting touch.  Jenny snuggled back, looking up with merry dark eyes - Carmine's eyes.

"Hey, kid - you got heavy since the last time I saw you," Laverne mumbled.

"Agrwhtys!" responded the girl, who held out a spit-covered pacifier to "share" with Laverne.

"She's pre-verbal," Shirley explained.

"Ferhaushgru!" said Jenny, reaching out for the gold crucifix hanging around Laverne's neck and sucking it into her mouth.  Laverne quickly dislodged it from the girl's hand and tucked it beneath the collar of her shirt.

"I hope that means 'let's eat,' cause I'm starving!" Carmine said happily.

"Yup, dinner's all set - we're still waiting for Squig, though," Lenny said, taking Shirley's coat and escorting them into the living room.  He dumped them on the sofa, then went to the kitchen table and pulled out a seat for Shirley.

"You've done such wonderful things with the apartment, Leonard."

"That's all Vernie and the Sears on Watervane Drive."

"Well, your mutual taste seems to have improved."

"Thanks, Shirl..."

"Woah, the Parmassian looks great!" Carmine said.

"Eh, all I did was follow Vernie's recipe cards.  You sure you wanna start now?  I got bread..."

"I'm sure Andrew won't mind if we start before him, right, Laverne?  Laverne?"

Laverne was bouncing Jenny on her hip, singing nonsense nursery rhymes to the girl as she squealed and threw back her head.  

"Laverne!" Shirley's voice finally cut through Laverne's singing.

"What?" Laverne wondered.

"Dinner's ready," Lenny said.  He had a curious, speculative look in his eyes.  Laverne met his stare, then they both looked away, blushing.

"Oh," she mumbled, handing the baby back to Carmine before sitting down.

***

Dinner passed uneventfully, with Lenny's surprising ability to cook things that didn't have attached heads winning him praise.  He and Laverne were in the process of collecting dishes and depositing them in the sink when a soft cry from Jenny spun Laverne around.

"Is she okay?  Is she hurt?"

"No, she's just hungry..." Shirley picked up her daughter and cradled her to her breast.  "I suppose she could get by with a nursing - we forgot her baby bag at home...Could I use  your bedroom?"

Laverne nodded.  "Yeah.  You want me to get you a cannoli?"

"Sure," Shirley retorted.  "Make sure it's not dripping with brandy, though.  You know what happens when two tipsy people collide!"

SLAM!  "Hello!" 

Lenny grinned and ran over to grab and hug Squiggy - his best friend neatly dodged his charge, and Lenny ended up grabbing a feather-speckled woman in a peacock-colored dress coming in behind him.

"Hey, get yer hands offa my date!" Squiggy cried out.  "You already got a broad of your own!"

Lenny winced back from the exotically-dressed woman.  "Sorry."

"Ladies and germs, this is Bubbles Sainte Claire, the most famous fan dancer in Lower Burbank."

"Any of you guys seen my balloon dance?" Bubbles asked.

Laverne's sharp eyes told Lenny he'd better not say anything.  Jenny's cry brought Shirley back to life. 

"It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Bubbles.  Excuse me."

"Whe're you going?" Squiggy asked.

"I have to feed my daughter."

Squiggy leered at her, earning him a clenched fist from Carmine.  Squiggy backed down and turned his attention to Lenny.  "You got any more grub, Len?  I'm starving."

"You're too late, meathead.  All we got left is canolis."

"Geez, d'you guys turn into little piggies since I moved out?" he eyed Laverne's midsection speculatively.  "You got something to tell me?"

Laverne put a protective hand over her belly.  "No, Squig," she said flatly.  Lenny picked up on the mild whist in her voice and raised his brow in surprise.

"Just wondering.  Guess Shirl ate it all - you seen her hips?"

"I HEARD THAT!" Shirley yelled from the bedroom.

"Have a canolli, Squig," Lenny requested.

Before Squiggy could protest, the sweet  found its place between his lips, and the room was plunged into a merciful quiet.  Laverne forced herself to converse with Bubbles, and Lenny turned to Carmine.

"So, Len," Carmine said, "how's married life treating you?"

"I like it."

"Just like?"

Lenny wiggled his brow.  "I like it a lot," he responded.

Carmine laughed.  "Yanno, I never thought you'd settle down."

"I could say the same about you, Carmine."

"It was about time I married Shirl," Carmine responded.  "When a girl gives up her life and apartment to follow you, marrying her's the right thing."

"Vernie wasn't too thrilled about that when it happened."

"Until she moved in with you."

"Yeah," Lenny said.  "I'm glad the girls started talking again.  I know it killed Laverne that they were fighting."

"Shirl too.  She talked about her all the time.  I knew they had to make up before the wedding, 'cause Shirl'd never forgive herself if Laverne wasn't there."

"Yeah - so, what's it like to be a dad?"

Carmine lit right up.  "She's a beautiful girl.  It's hard to explain - she's my daughter, I just love her."

"What about the diapers?"

"Every good thing's got drawbacks," Carmine snorted.  "You thinking about having a kid of your own?"

Lenny revealed nothing of his thoughts.  "Maybe."

"We've been wondering when you and Laverne're gonna have one, since she got a raise at Ford and you got one at Shotz."

"Can I tell you something, Carmine?"

"Sure."

"You can't tell Squig..."

"I won't."

Lenny made sure Squiggy was fully distracted by the interior of the refrigerator, then said, "I'm kinda scared."

"To have a kid?  Why?"

"On a count of me not having a mom," Lenny admitted.  "I mean, I had a dad, but my dad wasn't around too much.  I was always with a sitter.  All I remember about him was he smelled like fish and he really liked beer."

"My dad was always gone with the army," Carmine responded.  "But I don't think I'm doing too bad with Jenny.  You just love them, and spend time with them, and make sure they're safe.  You're a nice guy, Len - you might be good at it."

"Might."

"You'll never know unless you give it a chance."

Lenny tilted his head, thinking hard.  Everything in him wanted this - Carmine's nudging was only a little assist in the path he'd been following for months. 

Carmine reached into his back pocket.  "D'I ever show you these new pictures of Jenny?"

Even though he'd seen hundreds of shots of the girl, Lenny endured a parade of snaps, his mind far away and focused on the night to come...

***

"You got a beautiful family, Shirl," Laverne said, from her perch at the end of the bed.  Shirley had just gotten finished feeding her daughter and was entertaining her with a chorus of 'Itsy Bitsy Spider'.

"Thank you, Laverne," she sat back and watched as Jenny rolled over, giggling merrily.  "Jenny's a wonderful baby.  We have our bad days, but she's so easygoing like Carmine it's like I have a tiny bit of him around all day while he's gone."  She played with her daughter's toes absently.  "So..."

"So?"

"Are you and Lenny thinking of having a baby?"

Laverne bit her lower lip, chewed on it and then said, "How could you tell?"

"You melted like a sundae in August when I put Jenny in your arms."

"I dunno.  I've always wanted to have one - and I don't wanna have it with anyone but Lenny, but..."

"But?"

"I don't know how to be a mom.  I never had one."

"Laverne, having a mother - even an irritating one like mine - isn't a worthy preparation for being a mom.  I think it's different for everyone."

"But what if I mess my kid up?  What if I get mad and hit it?"

"You wouldn't abuse your child."

"I dunno."

"Do you love Lenny?  Can you afford to bring a child into the world?  And do you both want to have a baby?"

"Yes to the first two.  I don't know if Lenny does - but I want to."  She stroked Jenny's cheek. 

"You should talk about it," Shirley suggested.  "After you tell me where you got these lovely sheets..."

***

Laverne tamped down a thrill of alarm as Bubbles rose from the sofa to better show everyone just how tall Blaze Starr, the famous stripper, was.  They had been trading stories for hours, and Bubbles had finally come up with one that was age-appropriate enough for a general audience.  "...so then I tell Blaze Starr 'nobody messes with the Biggest D's in all of Culpepper County, Lady!'"

Shirley stood up abruptly, shifting Jenny in her arms.  "Well, that's quite a story, Bubbles, but I'm afraid Carmine and I have to be going..."

Carmine instantly stood and grabbed Shirley's and his coats from behind the sofa.  "Yeah, we gotta get up early - tomorrow we got a day trip to the San Diego Zoo..."

"Aww, I'm sorry you gotta go so soon," Laverne worried.

"I'll call you from the hotel - maybe we could meet for lunch after you get off?"

"I'd love to."

Laverne was already helping Shirley into her coat - she handed Lenny the baby and he held Jenny for a millisecond before transferring her to Carmine's arms.  Jenny's response was a soft cooing and a smile - an unknowable emotion flickered across Lenny's face.  Laverne smiled to herself - children, animals and old ladies loved Lenny, but this was the first time he seemed to notice that.

Shirley hugged Laverne quickly.  "Good luck," she murmured, grabbing her handbag and shepparding her family outside. 

Before Laverne could turn around, Lenny was already ushering Squiggy and Bubbles out.  "I'll see you tomorrow, Squig."

"But I got the new issue of Playboy and I wanted to - "

"Tomorrow, Squig.  Night!"  Squiggy was open-mouthed when Lenny shut the door on him and then locked he and Bubbled outside on the step.

Laverne smiled as Lenny turned around to face her.  His look was wholly serious, and it diverted her from the thankful, smart words she wanted to say.

"I'm gonna start the dishes," she said, turning and entering the kitchen. 

Lenny followed her automatically.  The room flooded with the smell of oranges and she washed and he dried, and they both lived within their minds instead of expressing what hung in the air between them.

The words came from her, out of nowhere.

"Do you wanna make a baby?"

He looked up in surprise.  Lenny had been scraping the sides of the chafing dish he'd used to bake the penne, and a few of the noodles had been adhered to the bottom of it.  He couldn't seem to judge the seriousness of her tone.  "When?"

"After you put down the penne dish."

He set it down and turned toward her.  "Vernie," he began.

"Len," she responded. 

"Where'd this come from?" he asked.

"I dunno - I've been thinking about it for a real long time.  I guess being with Jenny made me think a lot about what'd it be like with our own baby..."

"You too?" he asked, his face soft and with shining, tender eyes.  "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I'm....a little scared," she whispered.

"Me too," he whispered back.  "My dad didn't spend a lot of time with me..."

"I never had a mom..."

He took her hand under the brackish water in the sink; their fingers squirmed against each other, eelish.  "You were real good with Jenny.  You made her stop crying."

"When you sang her that lullaby, she went right to sleep.  It won't be that easy when we have a baby with us all the time..."

"I know...But I wanna do it.  I mean, we're okay people.  And we're kinda like a couple of big kids," Lenny snorted.  "I love you, Vernie.  I think we got all the things two people need to make a family.  What do you say?"   

Laverne did nothing for a long minute, then put down the penne dish. He wiped his wet hands on the thighs of his jeans before wrapping his hands across her waist and drawing her close.  Laverne could feel the heat of his chest through their shirts, the slim bones of his thighs as he pressed against her pubic bone.  Her body softened against his, her mouth opening for his kiss.  When it broke up, he smiled down at her.  "I say 'let's do it."

***

She half-expected to be carried to their bedroom, but instead they walked there, hands still slippery from the dishes.  Laverne laid herself across the soft sheets, and Lenny followed her down, pressing his clothed body against her from knee to forehead.

They kissed adoringly, with the experience of two old friends who knew each other down to the marrow of their bone.  She felt the familiar pressure of his cock against her hip as he shifted over her, unbuttoning her blouse and laughing as his fingers slipped off of their shiny surface.  When he had her blouse open he touched her - very lightly - with the tip of his middle finger, stroking the sweetheart curve of her small breasts and raising goosebumps everywhere on her body.

Laverne gasped softly, making the crucifix between her breasts bounce slightly at the sound.  She reached out and unbuttoned his shirt, dragging it down off his shoulders and baring his ivory skin.  Laverne reached up to kiss what she could, but Lenny untucked his tee-shirt from the hem of his jeans and yanked it off, putting his vulnerable body on display for her.

Lenny chuckled when she kissed the little patch of dark blond hair between his pectoral muscles, her hands rattling the fob on his belt in an attempt to undo it.  He went to the hemline of her navy pants and unsnapped the fly, teasing the apex of her mons slightly, making her lose her breath. 

They separated temporarily to get off their shoes and pants without killing each other.  Laverne listened to his boots hitting the floor and the muffled noise of cloth hitting the floor - her flats met his as her jeans and her blouse in a heap of tangled material.  When she reached for the clasp on her bra he met her there, shimmying it down, helping her out of it and her panties in quick succession. 

She got on her knees and pulled back the blankets, watching as he groped through the bedside table.  He found a rubber, ripped the foil packaging open and then checked to see which way it rolled out.  Placing it bedside, he said, "in case we change our minds."

"I ain't gonna change my mind.  What about you?"

"Just in case," he repeated.

They pulled back the sheets and squirmed between them, and when their bodies met his was as bare as hers.

Her hands found a prickly path down his naval while his mouth nibbled and licked at her goosebump-covered neck and shoulders.  His hands touched her in a series of massaging motions, rubbing the middle of her back just where it ached.  His mouth went over, butterfly caresses over both peaks making her tense and moan his name.

The back of her hand brushed his cock, making him jump backwards and gasp a little.  Her hand closed over him and he rolled her onto her back, raking his teeth over her right nipple and forcing a watery moan out of her lungs.   He rose between her palms, wet and willing, his hips bucking involuntarily against her touch.

"Lick me harder," she begged.  His tongue became a solid, evil thing, wagging against her and making her moan.  She squeezed him hard with her right hand.

"That's good," he said against the underside of her breast.  "That's so goood..."  His left hand went between her thighs and reacquainted himself with the groove and well of her body, which spread open for him freely.  She let go of his cock and fell back, moaning.

She had been wet for him from the first kiss, and when his soaked thumb rubbed her ready clit she thrashed and tried to get away from the pressure of his touch.  "Want me to stop?" he muttered.

"Nooo!"

He pushed two fingers into her, her body dripping freely for his advances.  Laverene's thighs fell so far apart that they ached; her hips bucked as his had done. 

"Do you want it now?" he asked.

She nodded her head silently.  He reached down and guided himself between the trembling lips, gasping softly at the contact.  The sensation of warm flesh brushing her versus latex made her gasp in return.  "Yes?" he asked.

She responded by arching her hips, allowing the tip of him to slip inside of her.

He did the rest, easing into her open softness, allowing her sheathe to cling to him., and Laverne involuntarily squeezed him when he was inside of her, telling him 'hello' without the words.

They were as pre-verbal as Jenny had been by now as he rocked his hips; she rose to meet him and squeezed his hips with her thighs whenever he withdrew.  They worked together harmoniously, out of years of experience and love, feeling the excitement build to what was soon an unbearable height.  The speed increased, making her toss her head and her nails dig into his flanks.

"Stay with me, stay in me," Laverne chanted, her eyes half-open jade slits.

Her words and the motion of her hips shoved him right over the edge - suddenly his thrusts were deep, firm and emphatic.  Then he moaned, freezing and trembling inside of her, his hands grasping her hips and impaling her with exquisite fury on his cock.  She stared at his tense features as he moaned and thrust a final time, then the warmth as he filled her with his cream.  She felt his belly shudder against hers, her thighs squeezing his hips as if trying to drain him of every ounce of his desire.   "Vernie," he mumbled, on a trembling note.  "La-Verne." 

His voice, the sensation of being filled this way for the first time, the scent of cannolis on his breath and the scent of his cologne on his skin, the sensation of his pubic bone jerking up and down against her clit, rubbing his hair against her exposed clit, made Laverne call out and her thighs quake violently as she finally came.  She called his name, then felt nothing but the pressure of him upon her as she drifted away to the darkness.  "Ahh...Lenny..."

Hours later, she felt his lips brush the underside of her breasts.  "Did we do it?" he asked.

She didn't open her eyes.  "Lenny!" it was very obvious that they'd done IT.

"Not that it!"  He fumbled for words.  "Yanno?"

"Do what?"

She felt the sharp bone of his chin press into her ribs.  "Are you pregnant?"

Laverne laughed helplessly.  "We won't know for a couple of months."

"Oh," he remarked, sounding disappointed.  "I love you anyway," he said simply, kissing her breast directly over her heart before lying his head against her ribs.

"I love you, Lenny," she responded, her eyes closing.  Maybe he was already asleep, but she closed her eyes and envisioned the end of summer, when she would know for sure whether or not it had worked and if Jenny would have a playmate the next time she saw Shirley.

She smiled before she fell asleep and prayed it would happen.