Shirley and Carmine Forever
By: MaryRichardsFan
Scene 1
Int. Airplane headed from England to Burbank, CA, 1971. Shirley Feeny sits in a seat lost in thought.
Shirley (Thinking): Ok, so my marriage to Walter didn't work. It's that I don't i love him, it's just that it happened so fast with him! I mean I was with Carmine for so long, and....(Sighs)Well none of that matters now. I think Katie [her and Walter's child] took the divorce very well for a child who is barely six years old. She knows that Mommy loves her and that I'll be back soon. I just feel like visiting Laverne for a while to figure a few things out. (Gets excited) Boy, I can't wait to see the look on her face when I walk into Cowboy Bill's tomorrow! She still thinks I'm living in London with Walter and Katie. I know she and I haven't kept in touch very well since Katie's birth. I just hope she isn't too upset with me still.
Scene 2
(Later that night, Shirley is walking along a street to her hotel when she passes a theatre where the Marquee reads: Opening Tonight: WEST SIDE STORY: starring CARMINE RAGUSA as TONY! Shirley does a double take)
Shirley:Oh my God! (Runs to ticket booth)What time is the first performance of West Side Story?
Ticket Booth Operator:In a half an hour.
Shirley:Are there any tickets left?
Ticket Booth Operator:As a matter of fact, we were sold out, but some guy just cancelled two tickets because his wife got sick. Front row seats.
Shirley:Front row seats?! Isn't that wonderful?
Ticket Booth Operator: Yeah, unless you're that guy's wife.
Shirley(Laughs):\i0 Can I have one of those tickets?
Ticket Booth Operator(Passes her ticket): That'll be $50.
Shirley(Takes out money from purse): Here you go. (Hands it to him)
Scene 3
(Later that night, Shirley arrives at the theatre. She has been to her hotel and barely had time to check in and drop her stuff off in her room. The curtain is about to rise as she gets to her seat. Shortly into the play, Carmine makes his first entrance. As he looks out into the crowd before his big number, he spots Shirley. Shirley knows he recognizes her, and that he's more than a little shocked to see her there. Carmine recovers from the shock quickly, and doesn't let it interfere with his acting. He ends up giving one of his best performances yet. After the show, Shirley finds Carmine.)
Carmine:Angelface! What are you doing here?! Shirley:I came here to see you, silly! (Laughs slightly, smiles at him)
Carmine: Where are Walter and Katie?
Shirley: Walter and I aren't together anymore. Katie is staying with her father back in England. I just felt I had to come back here and see Laverne again before I start raising Katie as a single mother.
Carmine:I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out, Shirl. I really am. (They hug)
Shirley: It's no big deal. It's just we weren't right for each other.
Carmine:Maybe that's because we're right for each other.
Shirley: I don't know if I'm ready to get back together with you yet.
Carmine:Why not?
Shirley: I just got a divorce, that's why! I just don't want to do anything sudden again. That's how it was with me and Walter, remember?
Carmine: We've known each other since grade school, what's sudden about that?
Shirley: I'm just saying we should wait before we start dating again. Besides, I don't even know how long I'm going to be here. I promised Katie I wasn't going to move away for good.
Carmine: Wait a minute, Laverne never said anything about you coming for a visit!
Shirley: That's because she doesn't know. I wanted to surprise her tomorrow by dropping into Cowboy Bill's.
Carmine: How about if I go with you tomorrow and I can tell her there's someone there who wants to see her?
Shirley: Sure! Is Laverne upset that we lost touch the way we did?
Carmine: At first she was, but I think she understands now. You've been busy raising Katie, and Laverne's been busy raising Lenny and Squiggy!
Shirley: Oh, Carmine, I've missed you!
Scene 4
(Cowboy Bill's, the next day. Frank is there, Shirley and Carmine enter.)\par
Frank(Sees them enter): Shirley! (He hugs her)
Shirley(Hugging him): Oh Mr. DeFazio, I've missed you and Laverne so much!
Carmine: Would you cool it, Mr. DeFazio? We want to surprise Laverne. Where is she, in the kitchen?
Frank: Yeah. Want me to get her for you?
Carmine: No, that's alright, I'll do it myself. (Goes to kitchen door, opens it slightly) Hey Laverne, could you come out here a sec? I got something here I think you ought to see.
(Shirley gets giddy with excitement)
Laverne (From within kitchen): Sure Carmine, just hang on a minute. (Comes out) Well, what is it? (Looks around resturaunt, then sees Shirley. Gasps)Shirl! (They run to each other and hug) Where are Walter and Katie?
Shirley: Katie is staying with her father in England. (Looks down at ground) We..sort of...got a divorce.
Laverne: Oh Shirl! Why didn't you write and tell me?! Or call, something?
Shirley: I felt this was the kind of thing I should tell you face to face. Oh, Vernie, I'm so sorry we didn't keep in touch after I got married the way we promised we would!
Laverne: I've missed you, but I know you had to be with Walter and Katie. Carmine and Lenny and Squiggy and Pop have been keeping me busy around here to make sure I didn't mope around about you being gone.
Shirley:Oh I'm so glad you're not mad! As soon as Walter and I split, I knew I had to come back here and take some time just for me before I go back to England and start my life over again with Katie.
Carmine: Listen, Shirl, I know you said you don't want to get back together yet, and I respect that 100 percent, but I have nothing to do tonight, so I was wondering.....Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight? Just as friends!
Shirley: I-I guess we could, but Vernie and I have an awful lot of catching up to do. Tomorrow night, ok, Carmine?
Laverne: Oh, no, Shirley, you go out with Carmine tonight! You two have as much catching up to do with him as you do with me. (Winks knowingly at Shirley)Probably more!
Shirley: Ok then. If you're sure it's alright with you Laverne.
Laverne: Sure, you and Carmine go out and have nice ro-Uh, friendly, dinner, and I'll spend the evening watching TV. I read in TV Guide that this week's episode of Mary Tyler Moore is a good one!
Shirley: All right then. (To Carmine)Come by my hotel around 8, ok? Here's the address.
Scene 5
(That night, Carmine and Shirley sit opposite each other at a table in a rather elegant resturaunt.)
Carmine: You know, Shirley, being here with you brings back so many memories.
Shirley: I know what you mean. I feel so comfortable here with you. After all those years in Europe with Walter, I had almost forgotten what that feeling was like.
Carmine: What was Walter like?
Shirley: Oh, he was a nice man. He was a doctor, and I was just completely head over heels with the idea of marrying a doctor, but once we realized we were really married we discovered we weren't all that in love. It took both of us a while to face the truth. You know, we wanted to protect Katie and all.
Carmine: I'm so sorry.
Shirley: You've said that already.
Carmine: I know, but Shirl--Angel Face-- I love you!
Shirley: I know that. Even while I was with Walter, I never stopped loving you either.
Carmine: I have a confession to make. When I invited you here tonight, I was kind of hoping that this atmosphere might rekindle our relatioship. I really do love you Shirley, and I think we could be really good together, if you're ready. \par
Shirley: I-I don't know. I've only been divorced a few months....
Carmine: It's not like we just met. I've known you since we were just kids! I think our running into each other the other night was fate's way of telling us we're meant to be together. You just said yourself you feel comfortable with me.
Shirley (Hesitantly):Well....
Carmine: What have you got to lose?
Shirley: Well when you put it like that....
Scene 6
(Later that night. Shirley walks back into her hotel room after her date with Carmine. She is deliously happy and anxiously runs to the phone and dials Laverne)
Shirley: Vernie? It's me. I didn't wake you, did I?
Laverne: Nah. I was just about to go to bed. I stayed up to watch Johnny Carson and The Late Movie. So how'd it go with Carmine? (Shirley sighs contentedly) That good, huh?
Shirley: It was amazing, Laverne! It was as if time stopped! Ooh, I get goosebumps just thinking about it!
Laverne: So you and Carmine decided to be more than friends tonight, huh?
Shirley: Yes, can you believe it?
Laverne: I think that's wonderful.
Shirley: Listen, I've gotta go. I promised Katie I'd call before she went to bed. I'll come over in the morning and we can analyze the entire evening piece by piece over breakfast, ok?
Laverne: Ok, see you in the morning!
Scene 7
(The next morning, Laverne and Shirley are at Laverne's CA apartment, talking over the date) Laverne: So how was it, Shirl? I'm dying to hear every detail! (Brings two plates of food from kitchen counter to table where Shirley is already seated)
Shirley: It was exactly like what I've always dreamed of! I was so comfortable with him! I really had forgotten how much I loved him.
\b Laverne: Oh, Shirley, I'm so happy for you! So are you guys going to go out again?
Shirley: I don't know. I was too busy walking on air to ask. I hope so!
Laverne: From the way you've described things, it sounds like he had as good a time as you.
(Suddenly, the door flies open, Carmine enters)
Carmine: Angelface! (She turns, sees him. Her face lights up. She runs to him and hugs him.) I called your hotel and they said you weren't in your room. I figured you were here.
Shirley: Oh I'm so happy you're here! I haven't been able to stop thinking about last night.
Carmine: I haven't either. I've been up all night thinking, and there's something I gotta ask you. (Notices Laverne watching intently) Uh, Laverne, can Shirley and I be alone?
Laverne: Sure. (She gets up, walks to Carmine, whispers) You're gonna propose, aren't ya? Go Carmine! (Punches him in shoulder)
Carmine: Would you just go?
Laverne: Ok, ok! (Goes up to bedroom and closes door.)
(Shirley lets go of Carmine's waist, and looks up at him hesitantly, anxious to hear what he has to say.)
Carmine (Takes her hands in his): Let's sit on the couch. (Shirley hesitantly sits on couch, almost afraid of what Carmine's about to say. Carmine sits there looking at her in silence, unsure of what to say.)
Shirley: Carmine, what is it?! (Almost begins to cry)
Carmine: I-I'm just not sure what to say. (Sighs) We've known each other a long time right? (Shirley nods) Even though we've know each other all those years, that isn't going to make what I'm about to say any easier. Last night brought back a feeling I never thought I'd have again. I didn't realize how much I missed that feeling. I never want to go without that feeling again, so....Will you marry me?
Laverne (From upstairs): I was right! He is proposing to her!!
Carmine: Laverne!! (To Shirley) Well, will you?
Shirley: Oh, Carmine! I thought maybe you and I would date a while and \i then maybe discuss marriage, I never even considered it. At least not so soon!
Carmine: I knew I should've waited. You said you didn't wanna rush into anything! I was a fool for even suggesting it. You're absolutely right, we should get to know one another again.
Shirley: But Carmine, I didn't say no!
Carmine: So does that mean you will marry me?
Shirley: Yes! I'm so touched you took the risk of even asking me! (They hug) Can I tell Laverne now?
Carmine: I have a feeling she already knows.
Shirley: Laverne, you can come down now!
Laverne (As she runs down the stairs):Oh Shirl, I'm so happy for you!! (They hug quickly) I gotta call Pop and tell him! He'll be so thrilled!
Shirley: No, wait, I've got to call Walter. He has to put Katie on a plane out here for my wedding. Then you can call your father!
Carmine: Hey what about me? What do you want me to do?
Laverne: Oh...you can go tell Lenny and Squiggy, I guess. (Carmine heads to the door)
Carmine:(Under his breath as he goes)Why do I always get the exciting jobs?
Scene 8
(The next day, at Cowboy Bill's. Carmine, Shirley, Frank, Laverne and Lenny and Squiggy are there. They are making plans for the wedding.)
Laverne: Have you two set a date yet?
Shirley: A month from now. That should give us enough time to get things arranged, shouldn't it?
Laverne: Ok. Pop, you'll take care of the food, right?
Frank (Looks over at Shirley and Carmine, who are both beaming): I'll make sure you two have the best wedding reception in the world!
Shirley: Thank you very much, Mr. DeFazio.
Frank: Hey, don't mention it.
Laverne:(Makes mark on pad): Shirl and I will cover invitations and the guest list.
Shirley: All right.
Squiggy: What should Lenny and me do? Squignowski Talent Agency would be more than happy to provide you with entertainment for your wedding reception.
Laverne: What kind of acts do you have?
Squiggy: We just signed a world-class fire-eater.
Shirley (Makes a grossed-out face): A fire-eater? At a wedding reception?! Are you nuts?!
Squiggy: We've been told that, yes.
Laverne: Carmine, can you handle getting us a church and a reception hall?
Carmine: Sure.
Laverne: (Makes another mark on pad)Ok....that leaves...the dress. Carmine, is it ok if Shirl and I go shopping for that together?
Carmine: Sure!
Squiggy: Wait, what about me and Lenny?
Lenny: If you don't want our professional fire-eater, me and Squig could try to eat fire for you ourselves.
Shirley: I don't think so Lenny. But instead of us hiring a disc jockey for the reception, how would you guys like to pick the records? (The boys look excited) But I'll approve all of them to make sure they're appropriate for a wedding reception, ok?
(The boys look slightly less excited.)
Squiggy: What do you think, Lenny?
Lenny: I say we should do it.
Squiggy: Ok, Shirley, you got yourself a couple of disc jokeys.
Laverne: Ok, everyone's got their assignment, right?
All: Yes.
Scene 9
(One month later, the day of the wedding. Everyone is at the church and guests are beginning to arrive. Suddenly the door flies open, and there stands Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli.)
Fonzy: Aaaaay!
Laverne: Fonzie! (She goes over to him. He kisses her.) What are you doing here? I don't remember inviting you!
Fonzie: Well fine, if ya feel that way about it, I'll just be on my way back to Milwaukee! (He turns)
Laverne: Don't do that Fonzie! But how did you know about Shirl's wedding?
Fonzie: Carmine called me and told me. How could I miss the wedding of one of my two favorite ex-bottlecappers? Speaking of which, where is the lovely bride?
Laverne: She's on her way, just getting ready.
Fonzie: Well then where's the Big Ragoo?
Laverne (Points): He's over there.
Fonzie: I gotta go congradulate the groom! (He walks over to Carmine) Ay!
Carmine: Oh you came! Great! Where's your date?
Fonzie: My fiance Aimee wanted to come, but she has to work this weekend.
Carmine: Oh, the Fonz is finally settling down?
Fonzie: Yeah, we were up at Inspiration Point a couple months ago, and I all of a sudden popped the question to her.
Carmine: That's great Fonz! (They shake hands.)
Scene 10
(In the back of the church, Laverne and Frank are helping Shirley get ready.)
Frank:You're the most beautiful bride I ever saw! (He kisses Shirley on the cheek. He turns to Laverne) And you (He kisses her.) are the most beautiful bridesmaid I ever saw.
Shirley:Thank you, Mr. DeFazio.
Laverne:Thanks, Pop.
Shirley:I want to thank you again for agreeing to give me away a second time, Mr. DeFazio.
Frank:Don't mention it. I've known you since you and Laverne were this tall (He gestures at about his waist.) You're like another daughter to me!
Katie(To Frank):You've known my mom since she was that little? Wow, you must've known her for a long time!! (Frank and Shirley both give her 'looks')
(Minister opens the door slightly, and pokes his head in.) Minister:Are you about ready, Miss Feeny? (He smiles) Or should I say Mrs. Ragusa?
Shirley:I'm ready. Katie, are you ready?
Katie:Yes, Mommy. (She starts out down the aisle carrying her basket of flowers. A few seconds later, Laverne starts out. Just as she gets out into the main church, Fonzy, the best man, takes her arm and leads her down the aisle.)
Shirley(Whispers to Frank):Ready, Mr. DeFazio? Frank(Voice breaking):Ready. (As the pianist begins playing The Wedding March, Shirley and Frank start off down the aisle.) Minister(After everyone is standing in his/her place at the altar.):Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and these witnesses, to join this man, and this woman in holy matrimony. It is really a special privelege to perform this ceremony, because I'm told that Shirley and Carmine were high school sweethearts. They have watched each other grow from young children into the adults they have become, and now they are going to promise to spend the rest of their lives together. Who gives this woman away in holy matrimony?
Frank:I do, sir.
Minister:Ok, now the vows. Shirley and Carmine have something they would like to say to one another before exchanging rings.
Carmine(Voice breaking):Shirley, I have known you ever since we were in school together back in Milwaukee. I've watched you grow into a mature, caring, beautiful woman, and I am honored to become your husband.
Shirley(Just about in tears now):Oh Carmine! Ever since we were just kids, I have loved you, and I never stopped. I'm so happy we're going to spend the rest of our lives together, to continue to get to know each other and I know we'll be just as happy as we are now.
Minister:Ok, now the official vows. The rings, please. (Laverne hands Carmine the ring to give to Shirley) Place the ring on the bride's finger, and repeat after me. "I, Carmine, take you, Shirley, to be my lawfully wedded wife."
Carmine(As he puts the ring on her):I, Carmine, take you, Shirley, to be my lawfully wedded wife.
Minister:"For better or worse. In sickness and in health."
Carmine:For better or worse. In sickness and in health.
Minister:"Till death do us part."
Carmine:Till death do us part.
Minister:All right, now it's the bride's turn. Place the ring on the groom's finger, and repeat after me. "I Shirley, take you, Carmine, to be my lawfully wedded husband."
Shirley(As she puts the ring on his finger):I, Shirley, take you, Carmine, to be my lawfully wedded husband.
Minister:"For better or worse. In sickness and in health".
Shirley:For better or worse. In sickness and in health.
Minister:"Till death do us part".
Shirley:'Till death do us part.
Minister:By the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Carmine:Oh boy! (They kiss)
Minister:Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Mr and Mrs. Carmine Ragusa!