ELEVEN
boys' apartment

{I skipped the mini make-out fest... sorry}

Lauren (inspecting the lights)- Do ya know if Shirl's gonna have a New Year's Eve party?

Lenny- Yeah, just like her previous ones: coupes only at five bucks a couple.

Lauren- Five bucks, huh? (she turns to face him) Have you been to any of her parties?

Lenny- Naw... never had five bucks to spare.

Lauren- Huh. You didn't ask you date?...

Lenny- Why would I do that?

Lauren (pulls a $5 bill out of her pocket; holding it up)- Because ya never know when your date will want to pay for it. (she holds it out to him) You hold on to it, but, so help me, if you lose it or spend it on som'en...

Lenny- I'm a dead man?

Lauren You know me too well.

TWELVE
4th floor, Christmas morning

All four are sitting out in the hall--Lauren and Lenny on the girls' side and Kristin and Squiggy on the boys' side. There's a Christmas tree at hte end of the hall, blocking the view of the continuing blizzard. Wrapping paper, boxes, and gifts are scattered all over the place.

Lauren- That was a great Christmas!

Squiggy- It'll be even better when we break out the egg nog!

Lauren- Whadya need egg nog for? Ya stumble around just fine without it!

Lenny- Low blow!

Kristin- Ya got that right! C'mon, quit arguin'!

Lauren- Sorry.

Squiggy (mumbling)- Sorry.

Kristin- That's better. (pause) How's that blizzard comin' out there?

Lauren (gets up and goes over to the window; looking out)- Absolutely dreadful. (turns to face them) It's not fit for human or beast!

Squiggy- Snowball fight! (he jumps up)

Kristin (sitting Squiggy down)- Calm yourself!

Lenny- I think Squig dipped into the egg nog already.

The phone rings in the girls' apartment.

Lenny (getting up)- I'll get it. (he goes in and picks up the receiver) Hello? (receives a scream in his ear) Hiya, Shirl. (Lauren, Kristin, and Squiggy gather around) What am I doin' in here? Shirl... (to the three gather around) someone else take this, please! (holds the receiver out to Lauren)

Lauren (taking the receiver)- Fine. (to the phone) Shirl, stop screamin'! Kristin and Squiggy are here, too. Their plane got snowed in... Wha- (listens) Whadya mean? (listens; to the other three) Shirl and Carmine won't be back until after New Year's. The blizzard made the airport cancel all incoming flights for the next ten days.

Kristin- What's gonna happen to Shirl's New Year's Eve party?

Lauren (to the phone)- Oh, okay. (to the other three) She wants us to hold it for her.

Lenny- So that means we don't hafta pay the five bucks?

Lauren (listens; to Lenny)- No dice.

Lenny- I tried.

Lauren (to the phone)- Okay, bye. (she hangs up the receiver) Looks like we're gonna hold a party.

THIRTEEN
girls' apartment, later that day

Lauren- Well, we gotta have the party somewhere!

Kristin- Yeah... when are Laverne and her pop comin' back? We could use the Pizza Bowl.

Lenny- After New Year's. (Lauren glares at him) She didn't get a date.

Lauren- This is startin' to sound hopeless!

Squiggy (sitting up on the couch)- Wha-? (gets up)

Lauren- Lookit that! He knows when he's bein' talked about when he's drunk, too! (to Squiggy) Go back to sleep, huh?

Squiggy flops back on the couch.

Kristin- We could have the party here.

Lauren- Awe, no! No, no, no! Uh uh! No way, José!

Lenny- I think that's a no.

Kristin- Well, why not?

Lauren- Do you really want our apartment trashed?

Kristin- What's the problem with that? The boys have done that a coupla times.

Lauren- Yeah, but... It's just that... (sighs)

Lenny- Whassa matter?

Lauren- Truthfully, I don't like parties. I don't like putting them together even more. I don't like having them where I live the most. I can't do it, that's all. (thumps her head down on the table)

Kristin- You never told me all that.

Lauren (with her head still on the table)- I was hoping to avoid the concept of parties.

Lenny- But you were gonna go with me! Ya even gave me the five bucks.

Lauren- I know... I know. I don't like being the center of attention and if we're holdin' the party, I'll be a part of the center and I just can't.

Kristin- This poses quite the problem.

Lauren- I'm sorry.

There's a brief silence.

Kristin- I got it! I'll call Shirl and ask if she left a spare key to her apartment. We can have the party there!

Lauren- Whatever.

Kristin gets up and goes over to the phone.

Lenny- Do ya even wanna go now?

Lauren (looks at him)- I'll go, but if I get attention drawn to me, I'm leavin'!

FOURTEEN
New Year's Eve, L&S apartment, afternoon

Kristin comes up next Lauren.

Kristin- Boy, for someone who doesn't like parties, you've done a great job with the decorations!

Lauren- Thanks. Just please remember that I'm only a guest, so don't tell anyone I did anything for this party, okay?

Kristin- Okay. (pause) Where'd the fellas go?

Lauren- They went to get some more food and drinks. I hope Squig doesn't bring the egg nog.

Kristin- Why not?

Lauren- Ya haven't seen him yet today, have ya? (Kristin shakes her head no) Let's just say he doesn't need anymore.

The door opens. Lenny comes in, carrying a couple of bags. He goes over and plops them on the kitchen table. He goes over to the couch and plops himself on it.

Lauren- No hi... What's wrong?

Lenny- Never go shopping on New Year's Eve! Those people out there are insane!

Squiggy (coming in)- Hello!

Lauren- I see what ya mean!

Kristin- Well, we've still got an hour before our guests start to arrive...

Lauren- And tire out our lips before midnight?!

Kristin- Good point.

A car pulls up right outside the building.

Lauren- Awe, they can't be comin' already... (she goes over to the window, looks out and turns around) It's Laverne! (to Lenny) I thought ya said she wasn't gonna be back until after New Year's?!

Lenny- I goofed.

Lauren- Yeah! She's gonna kill us!

Kristin & Squiggy- Bye!

They leave. Lauren follows to the door.

Lauren- Come back you cowards! (she turns back inside) We're dead... I'm dead. (she goes over and plops next to Lenny) This is why I hate parties.

Laverne (at the door)- What the heck's goin' on in here? (she comes in) Where's Shirl?

Lauren- Still in California.

Laverne- So you're holdin' the party?

Lauren- I only decorated...

Lenny- I just got the food.

Lauren- Kristin and Squig ran before ya came down here.

Laverne- I thought ya didn't like parties?

Lauren- I knew I'd told someone that!

Laverne- If ya want, I'll take over the party.

Lauren- You're not mad?

Laverne- On one condition... (she comes up behind the couch)

Lauren- What?

Laverne- I get one dance with your date.

Lauren- Well, Len?

Lenny- Why am I so popular all of a sudden?

Lauren- I don't think he minds.

FIFTEEN party

The whole apartment is packed. Laverne has been dancing with every guy there. {How she talked the guys' dates into letting them is beyond me.} Lauren left for a few minutes--she didn't like the song that was playing and Laverne got her one dance.

Laverne- So, ya gonna ask her?

Lenny- I dunno, she said she doesn't want any attention on her and I think this could cause a little...

Laverne- Well, go in the other room or som'en... but keep the door open, huh.

Lenny- Okay.

{Ooh... what could that conversation have meant?...}

A few minutes later, Lauren comes back. Laverne tells her to go in the other room. {Okay, okay, so it's the girls' bedroom!}

Lauren (comes in the room)- Hi.

Lenny (gives her a weak grin)- Hi.

Lauren- So... did I miss anything?

Lenny- You were gone five minutes.

Lauren- I know...

Lenny (gets up and goes over to Lauren)- Uh, maybe ya oughtta sit.

Lauren- Don't tell me it's bad news!

Lenny- Just sit.

Lauren- Okay. (she sits on the end of the bed) What is it?

Lenny- Okay, um... well, ya remember when I asked ya to go steady?

Lauren- Yeah, thank goodness I was sitting, I prob'ly woulda fallen on the floor... (pause) What're you gettin' at?

Lenny- Uh... (he looks away briefly, then looks back, meeting Lauren's eyes)

SIXTEEN
living room

O.S. Lauren- What!?!?

Amazingly, none of the guests heard the outburst. Laverne did--she was standing as close to the door as she could get without being spotted.

Laverne (thinking)- Twice was plenty for me. I wonder how man times he'll hafta ask her...

SEVENTEEN
girls' room

Lauren (calming own)- I'm sorry about that. I mean, I had no idea you were gonna ask me to marry ya. I dunno what to say...

Lenny- How 'bout a maybe? As in at some point, but not yet?

Lauren- Like a promise? In that case, it's a maybe.

They hug.

Laverne- Awwe, that nearly brought tears to my eyes! (pause) Oay, get outta here, now.

EIGHTEEN
New Year's, morning

The girls' apartment is a complete mess. Squiggy is asleep on the floor, Kristin is asleep in a chair, Lauren is on the couch, and Lenny is on the table behind the couch.

Laverne comes out of her bedroom, half asleep. She sees her friends almost all over the room.

Laverne (thinking)- Boy, I bet they had a nice little party of their own after New Year's. (she smiles)

from the kitchen, Laverne watches Lauren roll off the couch. She stifles a laugh. Lauren gets up and goes to the kitchen in a daze.

Laverne- Mornin'.

Lauren (looks at her)- It is?

Laverne- Yeah, it's nine o'clock.

Lauren- Five hours of sleep, no wonder I feel awful.

Laverne- I'd suggest having a milk'n'pepsi, but the Pepsi seems to be all gone.

Lauren- Naw, that's okay, I'm just gonna sit, plop my head on the table... (she sits and thumps her head on the table) and sit here like a lump for a few hours.

Laverne- Atleast you've got plans for your morning. I have no idea how I'm gonna spend the day.

Lauren- Call Shirl and tell her about the party.

Laverne- Yeah, I think I'll wait until the afternoon, though, since it's only seven o'clock there. (she sits at the table) I wonder when I should wake them up.

Lauren (looks at Laverne)- Whenever, but I doubt I'll help ya get rid of them.

Laverne grins at Lauren.

Lauren- What're you grinnin' at?

Laverne- How's it feel to be "almost engaged"?

Lauren- Is it s'posed to make me feel different?

Laverne- I dunno, that's why I asked.

The hear rustling from the living room and turn to look just in time to see Lenny roll off the table.

Laverne- See, you're perfect for each other. You've got the same wake-up habit of rolling onto the floor!

NINETEEN
later that afternoon

Laverne has been cleaning all day and still the apartment is a mess.

A car pulls up right outside. Two doors slam.

A few minutes later, Shirley and Carmine come in.

Shirley- Whatta mess!

Laverne- A mess!? Where?

Shirley- Here!

Laerne- Naw, I've been cleaning all day... (realizes they just got back) So, how was California?

Shirley- Wonderful! My mom introduced Carmine to all her friends...

Carmine- And all her friends pinched my cheeks!

Shirley- So that was your reason for running away from them? They gave ya a sore face?

Carmine- Yes!... I gotta go unpack, AngelFace. I'll see ya a little later. (he gives her a kiss on the cheek and leaves)

Shirley- So, this is what's left of the party?

Laverne- Yup. Ya sorry ya missed it?

Shirley- No, not really. Anything special happen?

Laverne- Nah, (continues cleaning) just Lenny asked Lauren to marry him. Nothin' much.

Shirley- Oh. (realizes) What!?

Laverne- You're gonna freak out again? She said maybe.

Shirley (makes a face)- What kinda answer is maybe?

Laverne- She didn't wanna say yes, but didn't wanna say no either. It's a maybe. (stops cleaning) Maybe you could use "maybe" when Carmine asks.

Shirley- That's not a bad idea. I'm gettin' tired of saying "No, try again next month".