ONE
Lauren & Kristin's apartment, evening

Kristin's sitting on the couch watching TV. She'd gone out with Squiggy earlier in the day because he had a late delivery of beer to make.

The door flies open and Lauren stomps in, slamming the door behind her.

Kristin- What's the matter?

Lauren (angrily)- I don't ever wanna see him again!

Kristin- Who?

Lauren (still angry)- Who!?... Lenny, that's who! (she stomps over to the kitchen)

Kristin (following her)- Well, what happened?

Lauren (getting milk and a Pepsi from the fridge)- We were supposed to meet at the Pizza Bowl... I get there and he's already there... with someone else!!! (she begins gulping the milk'n'Pepsi)

Kristin- Who was it?

Lauren (putting the glass down)- I duno... and I don't care. I ain't gonna blame her... but I am gonna blame Lenny!

Kristin_ Ya know what?

Lauren- What?

Kristin- First, ya need to calm dow and second, you really oughtta talk to Lenny... Maybe he had a good reason...

Lauren- oh, please! There is no good reason for that...!

Kristin- Well, maybe not, but you should still talk to 'im.

Lauren (a bit calmer)- Yeah, I just wanna cool off first... (she sits on the couch, seconds later she's crying)

Kristin- I knew ya'd calm down.

TWO
boys' apartment

Lenny's sitting alone and feeling bad. He just heard Lauren. (well, who couldn't - she was yelling!)

A few minutes later, the door opens and Squiggy comes in. He sees Lenny staring at the floor.

Squiggy (coming closer to him)- Whatcha lookin' at?

No answer.

Squiggy waves his hand in front of Lenny's face.

Nothing.

Squiggy turns, goes out the door, and across the hall. He knocks on the door. (yes, I said he KNOCKS on the door!)

The door opens.

Kristin- Hi, Squig.

Squiggy- Hi. Where's Lauren?

Kristin looks behind her and turns back.

Kristin- She's not in a very good mood right now, why?

Squiggy (motioning across the hall)- I just got home and lenny's off in La La Land.

Kristin- Oh... um, well, they broke up.

Squiggy- What?

Kristin- I dunno the whole story, but what I do know is that he was with another girl insteada Lauren.

Squiggy beginning to turn around to go across the hall)- I'll kill 'im...

Kristin grabs his arm and spins him around.

Kristin- No, we gotta find out why he was out with someone else... then, if his reason ain't good enough, you can kill 'im.

Squiggy- Alright... but I still wanna talk to Lauren... Why don'tcha go down and tell Laverne and Shirley what happened. Maybe they can help.

Kristin- Okay. (she goes down the stairs)

Squiggy goes in and closes the door behind him.

Squiggy- Lauren?

O.S. Lauren- Squig?

Squiggy- Yeah. Can I talk to ya?

Lauren comes in the room and sits on the couch.

Lauren- What about?

Squiggy (sitting next to her)- Kristin told me what happened... a wanna talk about it?

Lauren- No.

Squiggy- Ya sure?

Lauren- Yeah.

Squiggy- Really sure?

Lauren (beginning to get irritated)- Positive.

Squiggy- Absolutely positive?

lauren- Squig?

Squiggy- Yeah?

Lauren (loudly)- Get out!!!

Squiggy gets up quickly, runs out, and across the hall.

THREE
a few minutes later

Kristin, Laverne, and Shirley come running up the stairs and into Lauren and Kristin's apartment. Lauren's sitting on the couch, staring at a blank TV screen.

Kristin (coming over to the couch)- Ya wanna talk?

Lauren shakes her head no.

Kristin (sitting next to her- Do ya wanna kill 'im?

Lauren nods.

Kristin (standing up)- ...And the verdict is in. (she goes over to Laverne and Shirley) Maybe you two would have better luck...

Laverne- I'll try. (she goes over to Lauren and sits next to her) Okay... who was she?

Lauren glares at Laverne.

Laverne- You don't care... (getting up) Next. (she goes over to Kristin and Shirley)

Shirley- I guess that leaves me... (she goes over to Lauren and sits next to her) C'mon, it's not the end of the world... He's a guy... guys are stupid... most of 'em.

Lauren looks at Shirley.

Lauren- Why'd it take him so long to be stupid?

Shirley- Well...

Laverne (butting in)- What about the camping trip? What about when you broke your arm going down the steps off the building on a bike?...

Lauren- Okay, okay. He has been stupid before... but this really hurt... more than getting throw in a lake and breaking m arm combined.

Suddenly, the four girls hear a noise from the roof.

Shirley- What was that?

Kristin- Big birds?

laverne- It sounded like someone's up there...

Lauren comes out of her slump.

Lauren- Oh no!... (she gets up and runs out the door)

Kristin, Laverne, and Shirley stand there not knowing what's going on.

FOUR
on the roof

Lenny is sitting reclined against the roof with his legs dangling over the side.

Lauren comes in view from the far side of the roof, holding onto the chimney.

Lauren (quietly)- I shoulda known...

No answer.

Lauren slides carefully down to the edge right next to Lenny.

lauren (quietly)- Why were ya with that girl?

Lenny (sadly)- I'm sorry... (he looks at Lauren and she can see tears in his eyes) I didn't mean to hurt ya. (he sniffs) That was Edna's daughter, Amy. She don't visit too often and she didn't stay long. I wanted to talk to 'er. (he looks away from Lauren) I told 'er about ya...

Lauren (surprised)- You did?

Lenny- yeah... I'm really sorry...

Lauren (putting her arm around him)- it's okay. All ya had to do was tell me.

Lenny-You're not mad...

Lauren- I was... but not now that you told me why. (she gives him a little kiss on the cheek) C'mon, we oughtta go back down before we attract an attention and people start yelling "Jump!".

Lenny- Yeah.

FIVE
inside

Laverne and Shirley went back down to their apartment.

The door to Lauren and Kistin's apartment is wide open, but Kristin is no where in site.

Lauren and Lenny come down the hall from the stairs. They go into the apartment.

Lauren- Kristin?

No answer.

Lauren- Uh huh. She's most likely visiting Squig in your apartment.

Lenny- I've never seen a girl go that crazy over Squig!

Lauren- Yup, she's one of a kind.

Lenny- So're you.

Lauren- Oh, trying to suck up now, huh?

They sit on the couch.

Lauren- Well, guess what?

Lenny- What?

Lauren- It worked.

They start making out.

SIX
across the hall

Kristin and Squiggy have been making out for about twenty minutes.

SEVEN
Laverne & Shirley's apartment

Shirley- Gee, it got awfully quiet all of a sudden.

Laverne- Yeah... they musta made up. (she winks at Shirley)

Shirley- More smut!