ONE
Lenny & Squiggy's apartment, morning

Squiggy has just gotten the mail and is looking through the envelopes. Lenny is sitting at the table, watching him.

"Let's see... occupant. That's yours," Squiggy said, tossing the envelope on the table. "Occupant. That's yours..."

"Squig?..." Lenny started.

"Bill..." Squiggy said, making a face.

"Squig?.."

"Occupant..."

"Squig?!..."

"Wha-at?!" Squiggy said, annoyed. He put the rest of the envelopes on the table and one fell on the floor.

"...You dropped one... and stop givin' me the ones for this 'occupant' guy!" Lenny said, pushing the envelopes away from him.

Squiggy picked up the envelope that fell on the floor. "Hey..." Squiggy said, reading the return address. He tore the envelope open and began reading the letter.

"What is it?" Lenny asked.

Squiggy turned the page over, looking for more of the letter. "This is from my step-sister," Squiggy said.

"Step-sister?" Lenny asked, making a face. "I didn't know ya had a step-sister!"

"Well, ya do now... Her letter says that she's comin' to visit," Squiggy said, still holding the letter, but putting the envelope on the table, "tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow?" Lenny picked up the envelope and looked at it. "Uh, Squig?"

"What?"

"She's comin' today!" Lenny said, holding the envelope up to Squiggy's face.

TWO
Laverne & Shirley's apartment

Shirley is waiting impatiently for Laverne. "Come on, Vernie! I don't wanna be late for work again!" Shirley shouted towards the bedroom.

"I'm comin, I'm comin'," Laverne shouted back.

There's a knock at the door.

"Don't worry, I'll get the door," Shirley shouted, sarcastically, going over to the door. She opened the door and found a girl standing there.

The girl was wearing a baseball cap with her pony-tail showing through the back. She had on a purple T-shirt and black jeans. She reminded Shirley a little bit of Squiggy.

"Uh... does Squiggy live in this building?" the girl asked.

"Yeah. On the fourth floor. Why?" Shirley asked.

Laverne finally came out of the bedroom. "Okay, Shirl, let's get go-" She stopped when she saw the girl standing at the door. "Hi."

"Hi, I'm Lauren... Squiggy's step-sister," the girl said.

Laverne and Shirley stood frozen with surprise.

Finally, Laverne snapped out of it.

"You're his step-sister?" Laverne asked.

"Yeah, I just came to visit him... Hey, he's written about you two. You're Laverne and Shirley, right?" Lauren asked.

"Yes," Shirley answered, motioning for Lauren to have a seat on the couch. "You know about us?... Huh, that's funny. We don't know anything about you."

Lauren shook her head, "That figures, he's always been a creep like that... but I'd still like to visit him."

Suddenly, the girls' door flies open and the boys come in.

"Hello!" Squiggy said. "Ooh..."

"You still do that?" Lauren said, glaring at him.

"Well..." Squiggy staggered.

"Is that your step-sister?" Lenny asked.

"Yeah, that's her... Everyone, that's Lauren," Squiggy said.

Lauren let out a sigh. "Could I possibly introduce myself?" she said, getting up from the couch. She went over to Lenny. "Hi."

"Hi," Lenny said.

"You must be Lenny... and let me guess, you ALSO don't know anything about me," Lauren said.

Lenny nodded.

"Squiggy, why haven't you said anything about me?" Lauren asked.

"Well..." Squiggy staggered again.

"Nevermind. I don't wanna know," Lauren said.

"Uh, I hate to end this conversation, but we gotta get to work... You wanna come with us to the brewery?" Laverne asked.

"Actually, I don't think I can... don'tcha have to be twenty-one?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah, why?" Shirley asked.

"I'm eighteen," Lauren answered.

THREE
The Pizza Bowl, mid-morning

Lauren is sitting at a table. She was talking to Mrs. Babish all morning and is now waiting for Carmine to take her to his dance studio.

"Hey, the Big Ragoo is here!" Carmine said, coming in the door. He went over to where Lauren is sitting. "Are you Lauren?"

"Yeah, you must be Carmine," Lauren said.

"Yup," Carmine answered.

"You have a dance studio, huh?" Lauren said.

Carmine nodded. "Yeah, maybe I could teach ya..."

Lauren stopped him. "Good luck. I've got two left feet and no rhythm!"

"Well," Carmine paused, thinking, "I'll find ya somethin'."

"Anything's better than sitting here bored... especially since I can't go to the brewery." Lauren got up and the two left.

FOUR
Outside the apartment building, afternoon

Lauren is sitting on the stoop, waiting for everyone.

The girls pull up in their car and get out.

"Hey, I hope ya haven't been sittin' there all day!" Laverne teased.

"No. Actually, I went to Carmine's dance studio and I watched him teach some classes," Lauren paused, seeing the look on Shirley's face. "And no I didn't touch him. He's nice, though. You're lucky to have a boyfriend like him!"

Shirley blushed. "Thank you," she paused. "Have you had supper yet?"

Lauren shook her head.

Shirley continued, "How about I go get some pizzas?"

"Okay," Laverne and Lauren said in unison. They looked at each other and laughed.

Shirley got back in the car and left. Laverne and Lauren went into the building and down to the girls' apartment.

FIVE
the girls' apartment

Laverne and Lauren come in.

"So, how do ya like Milwaukee so far?" Laverne asked.

"I like it alot. It kinda reminds me of North Adams," Lauren said, taking a seat on the couch.

Laverne headed towards the kitchen. "You want somethin' to drink?"

"Sure, whatever you're gonna have."

"Uh, well, I was gonna have a milk'n'Pepsi."

"So?"

"If you insist." Laverne began mixing together the drinks. She finished and carried them over to the couch. She handed Lauren a glass and sat down. As soon as Lauren had her glass in hand she took a long drink. Laverne watched her in amazement.

Lauren finished and looked at Laverne. "What?" she asked.

"It's just that I've never seen anyone, other than myself, drink that so fast... or even drink that!" Laverne said.

Lauren held up the glass to the light. "It takes an educated pallate."

The two girls began laughing.

Suddenly, the door flies open and Lenny and Squiggy come in. The two go over to the couch. Squiggy sat next to Laverne on the arm of the couch and Lenny sat on the couch next to Lauren.

"Is that better?" Squiggy asked.

"Squig, I meant do you have to barge in? Atleast when you say 'Hello!' you sorta introduce yourselves... but that was just plain rude!" Lauren said.

Laverne gave Lauren a hug. "I love this girl! She puts you in your place!" Laverne said.

Shirley walked in through the open door, with pizzas in hand. "Pizza's here!" She put the boxes on the coffee table and the others immediately dove into the pizzas. Shirley shook her head. "Animals."

SIX
evening

Everyone is sitting around, watching TV, surrounded by empty pizza boxes.

Shirley kept glancing from the TV to the boxes. "I can't stand this mess anymore!" Shirley said, standing up.

Laverne looked at her. "Then clean it up. No one's stoppin' ya."

"No, I think she meant we should help her," Lauren said, standing up.

The three girls began cleaning up, while the boys continued staring at the TV.

Lauren came up behind the couch. "Fellas..."

The boys turned around to look at her.

Lauren continued, "You gonna help... or be vegetables all your lives?"

"I love that girl!" Laverne yelled, suddenly.

The boys mumbled something, got up off the couch, and started cleaning.

SEVEN
later that evening

All the boxes are picked up and Shirley is looking around at the nice clean room. "See, isn't that better?" <> "What do we care? We don't live here!" Squiggy said, laughing.

The girls looked at Lenny and Squiggy, then looked at each other. "OUT!" they said in unison and pushed the boys right out the door, slamming it behind them.

Laverne turned to Lauren. "You wanna stay on our couch?"

"Sure," Lauren answered.

"I'll getcha some blankets," Shirley said, heading towards the bedroom.

EIGHT
night

The room is dark. Lauren is trying to get comfortable on the couch. She sits up. "This is NOT gonna work!" she whispered to herself. She got up off the couch, grabbed a key for the door, and left the apartment. She went up the stairs, out of the building, and sat on the stoop. She'd been looking at the stars for a few minutes when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around quickly. "Lenny?!"

"Mind if I join ya?" Lenny asked.

"No, go ahead," Lauren said, scooting over a little to make some room for him.

"What're ya doin' out here?" Lenny asked.

"I couldn't sleep. Besides, it's only nine o'clock," Lauren said, looking at her watch. "What about you?"

"Well, I kept pickin' on Squig about how you keep pickin' on him and, well, he locked me out," Lenny answered.

Lauren shook her head. "It figures. He can really act like a little kid sometimes..."

"Maybe he should be more like you?" Lenny said.

"Me? No, I don't think so..." Lauren said, trailing off. She looked back up at the sky; the clouds were beginning to cover the stars. She sighed. "I'd rather be more like him... atleast he's been on dates... or he's been lyin' to me!"

The two sat for a moment not saying anything.

Finally, Lenny broke the silence. "I got an idea," he started, "close your eyes."

Lauren looked at him, skeptically. "Why?"

"Just close your eyes."

"Okay, okay." Lauren closed her eyes. A few seconds passed, then she felt something. Lenny had kissed her. She opened her eyes quickly and looked at him.

He was smiling. "I fixed it... Now, you've been on a date."

Lauren smiled. "Thanks!"

It started raining... heavily.

"Maybe we oughta go in," Lauren said.

"Yeah," Lenny agreed.

Lauren jumped up from the stoop. "See ya tomorrow!" she said, going in the building.

Lenny got up slowly and headed in the building. "She can't be related to Squig..." he whispered to himself.

On To Part 2









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