ONE
Laverne & Shirley's apartment, morning

"I hate Spring cleaning! Shirl, why do we hafta do this?" Lauren complained.

"Because it's Spring," Shirley replied.

"Oh, that's a good reason..." Laverne said, sarcastically.

There's a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Lauren said, walking towards the door. She opened it. A girl was standing there.

"Lauren!"

"Kristin!" Lauren said, surprised.

The two collided in a hug, while laverne and Shirley stared.

"Ahem," Shirley said.

"Oh, yeah. Laverne, Shirley, this is Kristin... and vice versa," Lauren said.

"Hi," Kristin said.

"Hi," Laverne said.

"Nice to meet ya," Shirley said, shaking Kristin's hand. "So, how do you two know each other?"

"We've been best friends for ever," Kristin said.

"Kristin, you remember that step-brother of mine?..." Lauren asked.

"Squiggy!? How could I forget?! I used to have the biggest crush on him!... I still do!" Kristin said.

Laverne and Shirley froze. They couldn't believe what they just heard.

"He lives on the fourth floor..." Lauren said.

"Oh! Then what am I doing standin' around here!" Kristin said, turning for the door.

Lauren followed her out. "We'll be back in a little while."

The girls were still stunned.

TWO
boys' apartment

"Hey, Squig? What's this in the fridge?" Lenny asked.

"Is it brown?" Squiggy asked.

"Yeah," Lenny answered.

"Then it was yellow once," Squiggy replied.

"Oh," Lenny said.

There's a knock at the door.

"Hey, fellas! Open up!"

"It's Lauren," Lenny said, walking towards the door.

"You get it," Squiggy said, taking Lenny's spot by the fridge.

Lenny opened the door.

Lauren pointed towards the fridge. "There he is!"

Squiggy spun around. "Huh?"

Kristin ran right into him. "Squig!"

"I think she's happy to see him... Who is she?" Lenny asked Lauren.

"That's my best friend Kristin... She's got a huge crush on him!" Lauren answered.

Squiggy finally pried her off of him. He looked at her. "Kristin?"

"You remembered!" Kristin said.

"How could I forget?!... I hope you don't still greet everyone like that," Squiggy said.

"Naw, just you and Lauren," Kristin said. She turned around to face Lauren and Lenny. She put her arm around Squiggy's shoulders. "I think I'm gonna like livin' here!"

"You're movin' here?!" Lauren and Squiggy said in unison.

Lenny had a confused look on his face. "Am I here...?"

Lauren slapped her forehead. "How silly of me... Kristin, this is Lenny... he's mine."

"Hey, this works out great! Ya know what'd be even better?" Kristin asked.

"What?" Lauren said.

"Does anyone live in that apartment across the hall?" Kristin asked.

"No," Lauren, Lenny, and Squiggy said.

"I only needed one no... I've got the best idea..." Kristin said, walking towards Lauren.

The two girls left, whispering to each other

"I didn't understand any of that!" Lenny said.

"Kristin's crazy 'bout me..." Squiggy said.

THREE
afternoon

"What's goin' on across the hall?" Lenny asked.

"Kristin's prob'ly got a surprise for me!" Squiggy said.

There's a knock at the door.

"Hey, fellas. Come on out!" Lauren said, loudly.

Lenny and Squiggy came out into the hall. The door to the apartment across the hall was wide open. Lauren and Kristin were standing by the door.

"Whadya think?" Kristin asked.

"You moved in across the hall!" Squiggy said, then hugged Kristin.

Lenny moved next to Lauren. "Squig's soundin' smarter bein' around her."

"She has that affect on him... so whadya think?" Lauren asked. She led Lenny into the apartment. It looked alot like Laverne and Shirley's.

"Wow..." lenny said.

Krisitn and Squiggy came in.

"Hey, I just had a thought.... since Lauren and I have our own apartment and you guys have an apartment... I'm feeling alot of make-out parties comin' on!" Kristin said.

"I love the way she thinks!" Squiggy said.

"We get our own apartment and that's the first thing she thinks of," Lauren said.

FOUR
evening

Lauren came up the stairs and tried to open the apartment door. "Why is the chain on?... Already!?" She went across the hall and knocked on the boys' door.

The door opened.

"I'd say I thought you were Squig, but he don't knock," Lenny said.

"He's not here..." Lauren said. "I think Kristin's already making use of our apartment... I can't get in. She's got the chain on."

"Maybe me and you can be alone, together," Lenny said.

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Lenny realized how that sounded. "Oh! I meant well since you're alone and I'm alone, ya know... oh, boy."

"Fine by me," Lauren said and slammed the door.

FIVE
across the hall

Kristin and Squiggy are sitting on the couch, sharing a bowl of popcorn, while watching "Godzilla On Monster Island".

"I love this movie," Kristin said, munching on popcorn.

"Me, too," Squiggy said.

Kristin gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Oh, com'on, you like it 'cuz I like it."

"Yeah," Squiggy said.

The movie went to commercial.

"What time is it?" Squiggy asked.

"Nearly seven," Kristin answered.

"Oh..." Squiggy said, jumping up. "Me and Len gotta be at work for seven... we got a late delivery." he went to the door, opened it, went across the hall, and turned the doorknob to barge in. He turned around to Kristin, who was in the doorway across the hall. "It's locked."

"Maybe he already left," Kristin suggested.

"Naw, he don't leave without me," Squiggy said, then pounded on the door. "Hey, open up!"

A few seconds later, there was the sound of footsteps, then the locks being undone. The door opened.

"Sorry 'bout that," Lauren said, slightly embarrassed.

"C'mon, Len, we gotta delivery to make!" Squiggy said, loudly, going down the stairs.

Lenny followed quickly, straightening out his jacket.

Kristin grinned at Lauren from across the hall. Lauren grinned back.

"What?" Lauren asked.

"I bet I know what you two were doin'..." Kristin teased.

"...The same thing as you..." Lauren teased back.

"We were watchin' a movie... Squiggy didn't hafta straighten out his jacket..." Kristin said, turning away from the hallway.

"You little..." Lauren said, playfully, and ran across the hall.

SIX
Lauren and Kristin's apartment, night

Kristin and Squiggy are on a date. Lauren is showing Laverne and Shirley the apartment.

"You two did a great job!" Shirley said.

'So good, it reminds me of ours..." Laverne said.

"Yeah," Lauren said.

"Well, what are you planning on doing now? You two'll hafta get full-time jobs to pay the rent," Laverne said.

"Yeah... Kristin's gonna work at Carmine's dance studio. I'm gonna work at the Pizza Bowl," Lauren said.

"Jobs already... not bad. I think you two're gonna do alright," Shirley said, then went out the door.

Laverne went to the door and turned around. "Just don't do great... if you get my drift." She winked at her and went down the stairs.

Lauren came to the door. "Who... Me?" she said, innocently.

The boys' door opened.

Lenny stepped out. "She thinks she knows everythin'."

Lauren leaned against the door casing. "Yeah." She sighed.

Lenny walked across the hall and stopped next to Lauren. "What's wrong?"

"Why do I get the feeling that they're gonna be tellin' us what to do?" Lauren commented.

"Because you're younger than them?... And because you're livin' across from me and Squig," Lenny said.

"Is that all? Why doesn't she just come out and say she doesn't trust us?" Lauren asked.

Lenny put his arm around her shoulders. "I don't know."

Lauren looked at Lenny. "Gee, thanks," she said, sarcastically.

"Anytime," Lenny said.

They went in the apartment.

"Make yourself comfortable... I'll get a coupla sodas," Lauren said.

Lenny sat down on the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table.

Lauren walked behind the couch and stopped at the open window. She looked out and down towards the street. "Len!" she whispered, excitedly, "come'ere."

"What?" Lenny asked, coming over to the window.

"Look down there," Lauren said.

Outside, on the stoop, they saw Kristin and Squiggy making out.

"How sweet," Lauren commented. "...Why does Kristin remind me of Laverne...?"

"Because they both get right to makin' out," Lenny said.

Lauren turned back inside and leaned against the wall. "I hope that doesn't mean I hafta be like Shirley..."

Lenny turned back inside. "I don't care... as long as I don't end up like Carmine... I don't like cold showers."

Lauren smiled. "Don't worry, that won't happen..." She grabbed Lenny's jacket and pulled him right into a kiss. They inched closer to the couch and fell over it.

SEVEN
outside, on the stoop

Kristin and Squiggy are still making out. Finally, they come up for air.

"I'm glad I moved here," Kristin said.

"Me, too!" Squiggy said. "Wanna go in?"

"Sure," Kristin said.

EIGHT
fourth floor

Kristin and Squiggy are coming up the stairs. The door to the boys' apartment is wide open.

They look towards Lauren and Kristin' apartment.

"I think that one's occupied..." Squiggy said.

"So, why don't we occupy yours..." Kristin said. She grabbed his arm and pulled him into the apartment, slamming the door after them.

A few minutes later.

Laverne and Shirley come up the stairs.

"What's with all the door slamming up here?" Shirley asked.

"I dunno... Why don't you check the boys' and I'll check Lauren and Kristin's," Laverne said.

Shirley was about to object, but Laverne turned away and knocked on the girls' door. Shirley turned and knocked on the boys' door.

No answer.

They knocked again.

Laverne turned to Shirley. "I think Lauren's learned too much from me... and Kristin came here already with that knowledge... care to knock again?"

"On three... one... two... three," Shirley said.

Both girls knocked at the same time. There were footsteps coming from the boys' apartment and a thud from Lauren and Kristin's. The door to the boys' apartment opened. Kristin and Squiggy came out.

"You two remind me of my mom," Kristin said.

"Yeah, we can't get away with nuttin'," Squiggy added.

Shirley crossed her arms. "Well, that takes care of one side of the hall."

Meanwhile, Laverne is still knocking. She stops. "I can't knock anymore... Maybe I'll start kicking it..."

There were hurried footsteps from the apartment and the door opened.

Lauren stood in the doorway for a few seconds, staring at the mob. She smiled, then reached out her hand to shake Laverne's. "Hi, mom!"

Lenny burst out giggling and came up behind Lauren, carrying his jacket.

"What the heck is goin' on up here?!" Laverne exclaimed. "That's it! Lenny, Squiggy, go to your apartment and stay there! Me and Shirl need to talk to these two." She grabbed Lenny's arm and yanked him out into the hallway, nearly running into Squiggy.

Laverne and Shirley pushed Lauren and Kristin into their apartment and slammed the door.

The boys' watched the door for a few seconds, then turned to each other and shook hands to a "Stu-pid!"

In Lauren and Kristin' apartment, things were not going well. Laverne is talking to Kristin and Shirley is talking to Lauren.

"What exactly is it you like about Squiggy?" Laverne asked.

"I just like how he says what he thinks... even though most of the time he says somethin' and then thinks it," Kristin expalined. "Besides, all we do is kiss... there's no law against that!"

"True," Laverne said. "Just be careful, huh."

"Okay," Kristin said.

Laverne left.

Meanwhile, Shirley isn't doing very well. She hasn't been able to put together a complete sentence.

Lauren had enough. "Shirl! Stop, please! I know you're worried and I know what you think is goin' on... but you've been around Laverne too long!" She quieted down. "I really like Lenny and he likes me and that's it."

Shirley sighed. "I'm sorry... we're sorry. It's just.. with all the commotion up here... slamming doors... two girls... two guys... two apartments..."

"Shirl, don't worry... me and Kristin won't have a problem beating them up if we hafta... although, we may switch if it comes to that... Kristin wouldn't wanna beat up Squiggy. I would... and maybe Laverne could beat up Lenny... Kristin doesn't know him well enough..." Lauren said.

"We just had to make sure," Shirley said and got up. "Sorry," she said and left.

Kristin closed the door after her. "Well, that was fun, wasn't it?"

"Oh, yeah, a ton!" Lauren said, sarcastically.

The two girls sat on the couch.

Lauren turned to Kristin. "Only makin' out?"

"Yeah," Kristin answered. "You?"

Lauren was silent. "I remember Laverne said she asked this same exact question a while ago..."

"What?" Kristin asked.

"...I wonder where he gets his underwear?" Lauren said, straight-faced.

They looked at each other... and burst out laughing.

THE END :)~

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