ONE
Laverne & Shirley's apartment, Saturday afternoon

Laverne is playing rock'n'roll records while Shirley is getting their apartment ready for the party.

"Laverne, would you please help me get ready for the party?" Shirley asked.

Laverne went over to the record player. "Why should we? Everybody's just gonna wreck the place anyway! It's a rock'n'roll party, Shirl," she said, changing the 45 to a 33 1/3.

Shirley stopped her 'getting prepared cleaning.' "Good point. We invited everyone and I'm sure the first ones to destroy our apartment will either be us or Lenny and Squiggy!"

"They do enjoy doing that," Laverne said, starting the record. 'Rock Around The Clock' began playing.

"Whyare you playing the music now? We need some for later," Shirley said.

"I asked some of our guests to bring some music. Fonzie's gonna bring his collection, Carmine's gonna bring some from the dance studio, Richie's bringing his 45 of 'Blueberry Hill,' and I asked everyone else to bring a 45," Laverne explained.

"What about Lenny and Squiggy?" Shirley asked, regretfully.

"I think Len said they might do a coupla songs, but only if they can get Richie and his band to back them up," Laverne answered.

"Great!" Shirley said, clapping her hands together. "We'll all be arrested before nine o'clock!"

TWO
evening

The party has been going on for about an hour.

Shirley walked up next to Laverne. "See, nothing's broken yet."

"'Yet' is the key word, Shirl," Laverne said.

"What's the matter with you? How can you be unhappy with all these great songs we've been hearing - 'Shake, Rattle, & Roll,' 'Young Love,' 'Sh-Boom,' 'Blue Suede Shoes'...?"

"Yeah, but Lenny keeps buggin' me about when they get to play a song!" Laverne interrupted.

"So? Let them. We need a little live music, anyway. Go tell him," Shirley said, giving Laverne a little shove.

A few minutes later, Lenny and Squiggy got the band together and gave them the music sheets for their song - Richie has his saxophone, Ralph is on the piano, Potsie is on bass, Chachi is on drums, Lenny has his guitar, and Squiggy... has his clarinet.

Laverne came up next to Shirley. "If Squig thinks he's gonna actually play that..."

"No one's gonna hear the rest of the music," Shirley finished.

"Everyone ready?" Lenny asked.

Various versions of "yes" are given by the band.

"One, two, three..." Lenny started.

"If only I'd've listened to mama
She told me this would happen to me sooner or later
If only I'd've listened to mama
Then everything would be alright," Squiggy sang.
"Everything would be alright," both sang.

"She said you better wear your rubbers
Or you're gonna catch your death
Keep your eye on what you're eatin'
And do som'en about your breath
Treat a lady like a woman
Treat a woman like a man," Squiggy sang.
"But I was only 7 & I didn't understand,

If only I'd've listened to mama
She told me this would happen to me sooner or later
If only I'd've listened to mama
Then everything would be alright
Everything would be alright," both sang.

"She said you're runnin' with the crowd
And it's gonna turn ya bad
Turn ya into pickin' pockets
On the corner like your dad
I told her she was crazy
I was smarter than the fuzz," Lenny sang.
"But 30 days in prison showed how right my mama was

If only I'd've listened to mama
She told me this would happen to me sooner or later
If only I'd've listened to mama
Then everything would be alright
Everything would be alright

If only I'd've listened to mama
She told me this would happen to me sooner or later
If only I'd've listened to mama
Then everything would be alright
Everything would be alright," both sang.

"She said you better learn a trade
Never make it on your looks
Take a job near a college
Maybe swipe a few books
But I didn't pay attention
And I didn't take heed
Now they're holdin' up a contract
Askin' me to read," Squiggy sang.

"If only I'd've listened to mama
She told me this would happen to me sooner or later
If only I'd've listened to mama
Then everything would be alright
Everything would be alright
Everything would be alright!" both sang.

They finish and everyone applauds, except Fonzie, who gives them a thumbs-up.

"Thanks everybody! For our next number..." Lenny started.

Laverne grabbed his arm and gave him a yank away from the microphone. "Another song right away?"

"Yeah, we got the crowd on its toes!" Lenny said.

"Why don't ya wait an hour and do another?" Laverne suggested.

"Would Buddy Holly wait?" Lenny asked.

"No..." Laverne started.

"Thank you," Lenny said and went back over to the microhone. He hands out more music sheets.

The boys pulled Laverne and Shirley up to the microphones.

"Rock & roll!" Lenny and Squiggy yelled in unison - right in the girls' ears, making then realize that now they had to sing.

"Rock...
Rock...
Rock...

Rock & roll is here to stay
It will never die
It was meant to be that way
'Though I don't know why
I don't care what the people say
Rock & roll is here to stay," the girls sang.

"I don't care what people say
Rock & roll is here to stay," the boys sang.

"Rock & roll will always be
Our ticket to the end
It'll go down in history
Just you watch, my friend
Rock & roll will always be
It'll go down in history," the girls sang.

"Rock & roll will always be
It'll go down in history," the boys sang.

"If you don't like rock & roll
Dig what you've been missin'
But if you like to bop & stroll
Come around & listen
Everybody have a ball
Everybody rock & roll," the girls sang.

"Everybody rock
Everybody roll
Everybody rock
Everybody roll
Oh... oh, everybody rock & roll," the girls sang.

"Rock...
Rock...
Rock...
Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock!" all four sang.

THREE
a half an hour later

The record player is back on and playing "Blueberry Hill," Richie's favorite.

Squiggy left after the band finished "Rock'n'Roll Is Here To Stay" - he hurt himself hitting a really bad note on his clarinet. Most everyone else is still there and dancing.

Laverne is sitting in the kitchen, shuffling through the 45s and picking out what's been played.

Lenny came over and sat next to her.

"I hope you're not planning on playing anyore after Fonzie took Squig's clarinet away," Laverne said, stacking some 45s.

"Nah, but I was wonderin' why you girls decided to have this party. I mean, there's no real special occasion or anything," Lenny said, looking at a couple of 45s.

"We thought it'd be fun. Besides, everybody here likes rock'n'roll. It's just something we could all agree on," Laverne commented. 'Blueberry Hill' ended and she grabbed two 45s. "Which one next? 'Jailhouse Rock' or 'In The Still Of The night'?"

"Play 'em both," Lenny answered.

FOUR
after the party

Everyone has left except for Lenny and Carmine, who are helping the girls clean up their apartment.

"What a mess!" Shirley said.

"Shirl, why don't ya write a song called 'What A Mess'? I'm sure we could find someone who'd actually wanna sing it," Laverne said, glaring at Lenny.

"What was that for?" Lenny asked.

"I saw that stack of sheet music you had. What were ya gonna do, sing the whole Top 40?" Laverne asked.

"Well..." Lenny started.

"I could've sung," Carmine commented.

"Why didn't you?" Shirley asked.

"I couldn't get near a microphone," Carmine answered.

"Pick, pick, pick," Lenny said.

"Speaking of pick, did you ever find it?" Laverne asked.

"I think Squig took it... All I did was throw it at him," Lenny said.

"He should be helping us clean up. It was his trying to play the clarinet that messed up our apartment," Shirley said. She picked up a stack of 45s and handed them to Carmine. "Here's your bunch. I hope everyone else got theirs."

"Oh, wait, this one isn't mine," Carmine said, handing Shirley one of the 45s.

"What one is it?" Laverne asked.

"'Purple People Eater'," Shirley answered.

"Hello!" Squiggy said, barging in. He went over and grabbed the 45 from Shirley. "Oh, good ya found it."

FIVE
a little while later

The girls' apartment is finally looking normal again. As it turned out, Squiggy didn't have Lenny's pick. He's still looking around for it. The girls are in the kitchen, sitting at the table.

"The next time we have a party, let's remember to not have anyone sing, unless it's Carmine," Laverne said, then took a sip of her milk'n'Pepsi.

"Yeah, we wouldn't have had to clean up this place," Shirley agreed.

"Hey, Shirl, what was your favorite song from tonight?" Laverne asked.

"Well, I'm sort of partial to 'Rock'n'Roll Is Here To Stay' since we had to sing it and we did it for last year's talent show, but I'd actually have to go with 'In The Still Of The Night'," Shirley answered.

"Why?" Laverne asked, then took another sip of her milk'n'Pepsi.

"Because when you're dating you can relate with it. That's what I like most about some songs. When I can relate to what's being sung, then I like it," Shirley said. "what was your favorite song?"

"I'd have to say 'Blueberry Hill' because..." Laverne started.

"It sounds like there may be smut involved?" Shirley suggested. "Or is it because it's Richie's favorite?"

"Neither. I like the music in it, but my second favorite, actually, was the fellas first song," Laverne said.

Shirley gave her an odd look. "You're kidding?"

"No, I think that people could relate to some of the lyrics..." Laverne said.

"'If Only I'd've Listened To Mama'?" Shirley questioned. "Laverne, I think that the time of night is setting in on you. You need to get some sleep."

"Oh, alright," Laverne agreed.

The girls get up and go into the bedroom.

A few seconds later, Lenny stands up from behind the couch, holding the pick. "I found it!" he said, then realized the girls weren't there. He started out of the apartment. "Boy, that's gratitude for ya. You're nice enough to play a coupla songs, ya lose som'en, then your audience won't even help ya look. Geez." He left.

THE END :)~

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