ONE
Milwaukee Airport, early morning

Lauren is sitting, with her chin resting in her palm.

Lauren (mumbling)- Why did I agree to this?

Lenny (comes over)- I got the tickets!

Lauren (unenthused)- Whoop-dee-do.

Lenny (sits next to her)- Awe, c'mon, I thought you got over the flying fear.

Lauren- I've always said I'd never fly... and I let Shirl be the pilot of my first flight. I'm not afraid of flying, I'm insane!

Lenny (slaps his hand over her mouth)- Shush! Ya say that too loud and one-a the cops around here will put ya in the looney bin.

Lauren (takes his hand off her mouth)- Well, atleast then I wouldn't hafta fly, (pause) I thought you didn't like you previous trip to Poland. What changed your mind about going back?

Lenny- Well, last time I went alone...

Lauren- And this time you're dragging me along. Other than the fact I'm still terrified of flying, it's a sweet sentiment.

PA System- Flight 7A now boarding.

Lauren- 7A again? Is that the only gate number they can come up with?

Lenny- Who cares!? Let's get going!

They put their bags on the luggage conveyor (thing). {can ya tell I've never been in an airport... okay, once a long time ago}

Lenny grabs Lauren's hand and practically drags her onto the plane. They find their seats and sit.

Lenny- You sure ya don't want the window seat?

Lauren- No, thanks! I'm gonna be nervous enough here... looking out the window would just make it worse. (she puts her seat belt on and slumps down)

Lenny- They like it better if ya sit up.

Lauren- Yeah, well, I like it better if I slump down... So help me, if there's turbulence...!

Lenny- Boy, you need to calm down, you're practically a basket case!

Lauren- If you know a sure-fire way that I'll calm down, let me know, or let me be terrified in peace, okay?

Lenny- Fine.

They sit in silence for a few moments.

Lenny- I got it!

Lauren (looks at him)- Got what?

Lenny leans over and kisses her.

Lauren (half-smiling)- What was I worried about?

TWO
in the air, about two hours later

Lauren's asleep, slumpe down in her seat.

Lenny is looking out the window. He turns and starts shaking Lauren.

Lenny- Wake up, ya gotta see this view!

Lauren (groggily)- What view?

Lenny- Out the window.

Lauren- No way! If I get out of this flight, I'd rather believe we never left the ground.

Lenny- Awe, c'mon! (he gives her that look)

Lauren (melting)- Oh, alright! I'll look.

Lauren leans over and looks out.

Lenny- Ain't it beautiful?

Lauren- Yeah, it is.

Lenny- Not as much as you.

Lauren- Was that just because I'm leanin' over ya here? (sits back) You're lovin' this, not havin' the others around, aren't ya?

Lenny- Yeah.

Lauren- Thought so.

THREE
Poland (somewhere), airport, next day

Lauren and Lenny come out the front doors with their luggage.

Lauren (points to hr right)- Lookit that!

Lenny (looks where she's pointing)- A limo? Wow!

Lauren- I take it they didn't letcha near a limo the last time.

Lenny- You're right... I never saw one.

They start walking towards it to take a closer look.

Lauren (sees the sign the driver is holding)- Ya know, that's actually ours! But why does it say "Kosnowskis"? (glares at Lenny)

Lenny (gives her a genuinely confused look)- I dunno. (pause) Let's find out!

They go over to the driver, then get in the limo.

Lauren- I can't believe all this!

Lenny- Yeah, there's no fuzzy dice.

Lauren ignores his comment and looks out the window.

FOUR
a few minutes later

The limo pulls up in front of a beautiful mansion. {think either the Stratton's mansion on Silver Spoons or Wayne Manor on Batman}

Lauren and Lenny get out and just gawk at the mansion.

Lauren- Holy lenoleum, lookit this place!

Lenny- It's gotten bigger since last time.

The driver leads them into the mansion and then goes back outside, leaving them in the foyer.

Lauren- Oh my goodness!

A man comes into the room.

Man- Welcome!

Lenny- Didn't I see you last time?

Man- Yes... Leonard, right?

Lenny- Lenny!

Lauren grins and turns away to look at a painting.

Man- Of course.

Lenny- And you're... I forgot.

Man- Jonathan Wondoloski.

{I didn't make up the name... his students called him "Wondo"... I was in his class 2 or 3 days & he always remembered who I was after}

Lenny- Oh, yeah!

Jonathan- Sorry about calling on you on such short notice, but we thought we would offer you a second stay and hopefully it will be more to your approval. (looks at Lauren, who is wandering off, looking at paintings) I think she approves.

Lenny- Well, I've seen all these already, she hasn't.

Jonathan- Right... Does she have a name?

Lenny- Yeah, that's Lauren.

Jonathan- Lauren... that's a very pretty name.

Lenny- She likes it. (to Lauren) You can look at the rest later, we're talkin' 'boutcha over here!

Lauren looks at him, then walks back over.

Lauren- The paintings are beautiful... um, sorry, I didn't catch your name.

Jonathan- Jonathan. (pause) Let me show you where you will be staying. (starts towards the stairs)

Lauren and Lenny follow.

FIVE
upstairs

Jonathan opens a door to reveal a beautiful bedroom.

Jonathan- I will be back in a few minutes after you have gotten situated. (goes down the hall)

Lauren and Lenny go into the room.

Lenny- Atleast this is the same room I had last time.

Lauren- It's beautiful. (continues scanning the room) Uhh... (goes over and sits on the end of the bed) one room, one bed? (pause) You're sleepin' on the floor!

Lenny- Maybe there's a cot or som'en in the closet. (goes over and looks in the closet) Nope, no cot.

Lauren- I've got a really odd feeling about this whole situation.

Lenny- Why?

Lauren- First, there was the limo driver's sign and now a one, queen size bed... what does that add up to?

Lenny- Three?

Lauren (slaps her forehead)- No, you dope, they think we're married!

Lenny- So?

Lauren- So?! That's prob'ly the only reason they letcha come back here! (pause) I don't believe this. (lies back and stares at the ceiling) First the flight and now this.

Lenny (goes over to the side of the bed)- Let 'em think that! We prob'ly won't be here long enough for it to make a difference, anyway!

Lauren- yeah, but that's not fair to you and it really isn't fair to me.

Lenny- C'mon, we don't even know if that's what they really think! Umm... it could be coincidence.

Lauren- I'm not gonna letcha read the dictionary anymore. (sits up) Len, I'm 99% sure that's what they think and I'll also bet we may not be leaving that soon. (pause) I know I should be happier to visit since I am part Polish, butI wanna go back to Milwaukee.

Lenny (sits next to her)- But what if they actually offer me the throneship?

Lauren We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

There's a knock at the door.

Lenny- It's open.

Jonathan (comes in)- I hope you have found everything satisfactory.

Lenny stands up and pulls Lauren up with him.

Lenny- We love it... What now?

Jonathan- There are some papers downstairs in the library I need you to look at.

Lenny- Okay, let's go!

Jonathan turns and leaves. Lauren and Lenny start to follow, then Lauren stops Lenny.

Lauren- What're ya doin'?

Lenny- I'm goin' along with this until we figure out why they really asked me back here. Would ya mind playin' along atleast that much?

Lauren- Well... (sees the pleading look on his face) okay, I'll go along.

Lenny- Great! (grabs her hand and drags her out of the room)

SIX
night

Lauren is sitting in a chair, writing in a notebook. She's wearing her usual nightshirt with the L and shorts.

Lenny comes out of the bathroom and sees her writing.

Lenny- Whatcha doin'?

Lauren- I figured as long as we're here, I'll jot down a few things about what we do, where we go, stuff like that. (pause) I think I've got everything for now... You don't mind me using the bed, do ya?

Lenny- Naw, I don't mind... maybe I can make that chair comfortable.

Lauren- I'll go find ya a blanket. (gets up, plops her notebook in her open suitcase, and goes over to the closet)

A few moments later, Lauren emerges with a blanket.

Lauren (hands him the blanket)- Here ya go. Take you of the pillows, here, too. (goes over, picks up a pillow, comes back, and hands it to him) I dunno, I still think that Jonathan thinks we're married.

Lenny- I thought we did this already?

Lauren- Well, then how come I had to sign stuff, too? Ya gotta admit he gave me a pretty weird look the first time I signed my last name.

Lenny- Maybe he don't realize you're independent.

Lauren- We're not getting anywhere with this. Let's just get some sleep, okay?

Lenny- Alright. (sits and starts getting settled on the chair)

Lauren goes over to the bed, pulls back the covers, sits, and turns off the light.

There is just enough moonlight coming through the window curtains that you can still see where they are and that Lenny's fidgetting, trying to get comfortable.

A few minutes later...

Lenny- Lauren, could ya turn on the light?

Lauren (obviously tired)- Why?

Lenny- My leg cramped up, I think I'm movin' to the floor.

Lauren reaches over and clicks on the light. She continues to lay there and stare at the ceiling.

Lauren- Lemme know when you're on the floor.

Lenny gets up and brings the balnket and pillow over next to the bed. He plops the pillow on the floor, then spreads out the blanket.

Lauren (looks to her right)- Can I turn the light off now?

Lenny- Umm... yeah, I guess. I just gotta get rid of this cramp.

Lauren turns off the light and rolls over onto her left side.

About a minute later, Lauren feels something against her back. She shoots up and turns on the light.

Lauren (sees Lenny with his foot on the bed)- You're not gonna let me sleep, are ya?

Lenny- Sorry...

They hear footsteps from outside the door.

Lauren- Great! Now see what you've done! That's prob'ly Jonathan comin' to see what all the noise is!

Lenny- Quick! Turn off the light!

Lauren turns off the light and Lenny jumps across the bed, landing on the other side of Lauren.

Lauren- What the heck do you think you're doin'?

Lenny- Shh! Prtend to be asleep!

The door opens an inch for a few seconds, then closes. They wait a few moments.

Lauren- Some privacy.

Lenny- Maybe he was expecting it to be locked.

Lauren- True.

Silence.

Lauren- Len?

Lenny- Yeah?

Lauren- Are you on or under the blankets?

Lenny- Uhh... (checks) under.

Lauren rolls right out and turns on the light.

Lauren- Don't do that!

Lenny (ignoring her remark... sorta)- Bed's comfortable.

Lauren- Lenny, don't make me hafta hurt you.

Lenny grins at her. Lauren goes over, kneels on the bed, grabs a handful of his shirt, and pulls him up.

Lauren- I'm serious. If ya wanna stay on the bed, atleast sleep on the sheet, then you can use the rest of the blankets, okay?

Lenny- You don't trust me?

Lauren (lets go of his shirt)- I trust ya... I'm just not too sure of me.

{author fans herself}

Part 2