ONE
Laverne and Shirley's apartment, afternoon

Shirley is about to go to visit her mom.

"Well, Shirl, I think ya got everythin' now," Laverne told her, struggling with one of Shirley's suitcases, "but why're ya takin' so much?"

"Because," Shirley said, guiding Laverne, "I want to show her how well we're doin'. Unlike when she visited here a few years ago... and her welcoming committee was Lenny and Squiggy!" She thought for a moment, "Just leave that on the sidewalk, I forgot something." Shirley went into the bedroom and came back out carrying BooBooKitty. "Now, I've got everything."

Laverne came trudging down the stairs. "Gee, thanks for helpin', Shirl," she said, sarcastically.

"Anytime. See you in a week," Shirley said, waved, and closed the door behind her.

Laverne watched out through the window as Shirley got on the bus. As soon as the bus pulled away, she began dancing with joy. "The whole place to mself! Whoopee!" She paused and thought for a moment, "A party." She went over to the phone, but didn't pick up the receiver. "No, maybe I shouldn't. If I do, it'll prob'ly be crashed by a coupla no-good jerks..."

"Hello!" Squiggy said, flinging the door open.

"Not now, guys," Laverne said.

"No, no. You shouldn't be alone," Lenny said.

"Yeah, it's not safe," Squiggy added.

Laverne chuckled. "Since when are you guys interested in my safety?"

"Well, it's funny you should ask..." Squiggy began.

"Can we stay wit' you for a coupla days?" Lenny asked.

"What!? No way... Why?" Laverne asked.

"Since our apartment is charred," Lenny answered.

Laverne gave them a skeptical look. "Charred As in a fire? How could there be a fire in this building and not everyone knows about it?"

"It was a contained fire," Lenny said.

"Yeah, we was tryin' to make a bonfire and it tried to attack us!" Squiggy said.

Laverne felt her head beginning to hurt; her temples throbbed. She put a finger on each side and rubbed. "Guys, you're givin' me a headache..."

"Then you sit down and we'll bring our stuff down," Lenny said.

The boys disappeared out the door and came back; Lenny carrying a box and Squiggy carrying a brown paper bag and dragging a trash bag behind him.

"Where do we sleep?" Squiggy asked.

TWO
night

Lenny, Laverne, and Squiggy are sitting on the couch, watching TV.

The boys' stuff is everywhere.

Laverne crossed her arms. "C'mon guys, I've seen this movie a dozen times! It's gettin' boring!" she said, then yawned.

"No! We is gonna watch this! I wanna see if Godzilla stomps the whole city!" Squiggy said.

"Yeah, it's a two-to-one vote anyway," Lenny added.

The boys' get wrapped up in the movie.

A few minutes later, a snore is heard.

"What was that?" Lenny asked.

They looked at Laverne, who was now sleeping sitting up.

"I guess that was her," Squiggy said. He paused, and a smile came across his face. "I got a idea."

"Yeah," Lenny said, happily, "what?"

"Let's sleep in the girls' beds," Squiggy said.

The boys got up and went into the girls' bedroom. Squiggy took Shirley's bed and Lenny took Laverne's bed.

THREE
middle of the night

The living room is pitch black and the bedroom door is closed, but light can be seen from the crack beneath it.

Laverne is still sleeping, sitting up. She begins to tip over and wakes up as soon as she hits the cushions. "Huh? What am I doin' out here?" she said. She got up and trudged towards her bedroom, still half asleep. She didn't notice the light from the crack under the door. Laverne turned the knob and screamed. "What're ya doin' in here?!"

Squiggy shot up. "The huns! The huns...!"

Lenny sat up and threw a pillow at him. "Wake up, we been found out."

"Out!" Laverne said, going over to Lenny. She grabbed his arm and began pulling. "Don't make me hafta hurt you two!"

"Hey..." Lenny said. He tried to yank his arm out of Laverne's grasp, but she held on and fell across the bed.

"Wrestling match front row seats!" Squiggy said, applauding.

Laverne looked at him. "This is not a wrestling match..."

"Then why're ya lyin' on my legs?" Lenny asked.

Suddenly, Carmine appeared in the doorway. "I thought I heard a scream... What the heck is goin' on?" He came in and helped Laverne get up off of the bed.

"Nothin'," Lenny said.

Squiggy nodded his head, agreeing with Lenny.

"It's alright, Carmine. Why don'tcha go back home and go to bed," Laverne said.

"You sure?..." Carmine said.

"Yeah, I let 'em stay here... long story," Laverne paused, "go back to bed."

Carmine turned and left.

Laverne turned back to the boys. Squiggy was fast asleep and Lenny was rubbing his arm.

"How does he fall asleep that fast?" Laverne asked, pointing at Squiggy. She went over and sat at the foot of what was her bed, saring at Lenny. "Are you gonna go peacefully or..." she stopped, noticing that he wasn't paying attention, but inspecting is arm. "You alright?" she asked.

Lenny kept checking his arm. "Yeah," he said. He started to check his hand and bent his wrist. He squealed. "Maybe I shouldn't've pulled on ya."

"I'll getcha some ice," Laverne said and went out into the living room. She came back with a bag of ice. "Here."

"Thanks," Lenny said, taking the bag of ice.

Laverne sat silently for a moment. "Well, I guess the couch isn't that bad. You stay here. I'll just get a pillow and blanket out of the closet." She got up, went over to the closet, opened the door, and stepped in, bracing an arm against the stuff on the top shelf. A few minutes later, Laverne emerged with a pillow and a blanket. Squiggy was now snoring and Lenny was asleep with the ice pack still on his wrist. She suddenly felt guilty for trying to kick them out of her bedroom when all she had to do was get a pillow and a blanket and sleep on the couch, like she was about to do anyway.

FOUR
morning

Laverne is still on the couch, asleep. The bedroom door opens and Squiggy comes out, still in his pajamas. He tiptoes up to the couch. "Sleepin' beauty," he said, leaned over, and gave Laverne a kiss. She sceamed and lashed out, slapping him in the face.

Squiggy put a hand on his cheek. "Geez, you're dangerous!"

Laverne sat up. "I'm sorry... Don't EVER do that again!"

"How else was I gonna wake ya up?" Squiggy asked.

"Try an alarm clock," Laverne answered, getting up. She began folding the blanket.

"That didn't work - you threatened us wit' it after," Squiggy said.

Laverne to face Squiggy. "I'm gonna take this stuff and put it back in the closet. I'll be right back... And don't touch nothin'!" She pushed past him and went into the bedroom. She opened the closet door and half of its contents fell on her, knocking her to the ground.

"Oh... that was fun," Laverne mumbled. She started to climb out of the mess, putting a hand on one thing to push herself up, and she tumbled back into the mess. She heard laughter from behind her. She turned and saw Lenny laughing.

"What's so funny?" Laverne asked.

Lenny kept laughing. "You... that stuff... fall over..."

"Ha ha ha, very funny," Laverne said. She pushed everything off of her and, finally, got back on her feet. She looked around at the mess. "Why is most of this stuff Shirl's?" She knelt down and started picking up stuff.

Lenny came over and started helping, still snickering. "Sorry... I needed a laugh."

"Well, you got your laugh and..." Laverne paused, picking up a picture. She looked at it through squinted eyes. She turned in one direction, then the other. She began laughing.

"What is it?" Lenny asked.

"Look," Laverne laughed, showing him the picture. It was taken in their sophomore year of high school of the five of them. "I forgot about this!"

"I like how Shirley's about slap Squig and Carmine looks like he's gonna pound him!" Lenny said.

Laverne held the picture closer to her face, as if looking for something.

Lenny stood up and started kicking some blankets back into the closet.

"Hey, Len," Laverne said, standing up, "do you remember when this was taken? It looks like I'm wearin' your jacket... It also looks like you'd just been in a fight - your arm's in a sling." She gave the picture to him.

Lenny took the picture, turned it sideways, held it up to the light, and then looked at it normally. "I think it's sophomore year... Remember, I fell off the roof of my house and broke my arm." He shook his head. "Memories."

Laverne snatched the picture away from him. "It doesn't take much to get ya sentimental, does it?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind," Laverne said. She put the picture on Shirley's bed, then started picking stuff up off the floor, and cramming it back in the closet.

FIVE
Shotz Brewery breakroom, noontime

Laverne is sitting alone at her usual table.

"I hate a late lunch," Laverne whispered to herself.

The last few people who were in the breakroom left, leaving Laverne alone.

She looked around the room. "I'm alone... this is what I get for comin' in late," she told herself.

The door to the breakroom opened and Lenny came in. "Hi, Laverne!" he said, going over to the snack machine.

"You're awfully cheerful - why?" Laverne asked, skeptically.

Lenny came over and sat at Laverne's table. "Because," he said, laying his bandaged wrist on the table.

"What'd you tell 'em?" Laverne asked, devilishly.

"I told 'em I hurt it on the loading dock - so Squig's out doin' both his shift and mine while I get to sit around and do nothin' and still get paid," Lenny answered.

"Awe, I wish I could have somethin' like that happen to me," Laverne semi-whined.

Lenny glared at her.

"I know, I know, 'Don't whine!'," Laverne said.

On To Part 2









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