Title: Displaced
Rating: G
Spoiler: What happen when you mix the cast of L&S, a time warp, & those two guys from Perfect Strangers? Read to find out...!
Distribution: Missy & the L&S FIc archive. Others are welcome to ask me for permission to host the fic.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot idea & my muses... although, they don't like to be known as being "owned"



"Laverne, what is taking you so long?" Shirley asked, impatiently
tapping her foot.

Laverne momentarily came out of the bedroom, suitcase in hand. "Shirl,
we're goin' to Chicago. It's a trip, a vacation. I had to find our Lenny
and Squiggy repellent." She put down the suitcase.

"And did you find it?" Shirley asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No," Laverne said. "I looked everywhere! Oh, Shirl, I know they're
gonna ruin this trip. Remember when..."

Shirley slapped a hand over Laverne's mouth. "I remember all of those
times, Vernie, but they'll just follow us, anyway, no matter what. The
best thing to do when we get to Chicago is--"

"Find us some men?" Laverne interrupted.

Shirley held up an index finger and opened her mouth, but stopped and
seemed to be thinking over the suggestion. She shook her head. "You can.
I've been thinking about inviting Carmine to come along--"

Laverne grabbed Shirley's shoulders. "Shirl, for once, just give me a
chance. And if anything weird happens, we'll blame Squiggy."

"Okay," Shirley agreed.

* * * * *

"That was the worst train ride I have ever taken," Shirley said, as
Laverne moved her aside to close the hotel room door. "And... and... how
did Lenny and Squiggy manage to get to the Conductor?"

"I dunno, Shirl," Laverne said, glancing at the tv.

"Uh, Shirl, what's that little box on top-a the tv, there?" She pointed
at it.

Shirley moved over next to her. "I don't know. And this--" She held up a
smaller item with buttons. "What is this?"

Laverne shrugged. "Call the lobby an' ask 'em."

"Right," Shirley said, then went over to the phone. "Laverne! Look at
this!"

Laverne joined her. "Is this a phone? It ain't got a rotary dial."

"Buttons, kind of like that thing by the tv that I picked up," Shirley
said.

"Weird. Very weird. It's Squiggy's fault. Has to be," Laverne said,
sounding like she was trying to convince herself. She paused. "How
about... we go somewhere, get some fresh air, do a little shopping. When
we get back, everything will be normal. Whaddaya say, Shirl?"

"Let's go," Shirley agreed, then dragged Laverne after her, without any
argument.

"Oooh, Vernie, a discount store!" Shirley said, pointing at the small
store to their right. "Let's go in." She didn't wait for a reply and
dragged Laverne in causing her to stumble down the sunken floor of the
store.

"Shirl, you even think of doin' that again an' I'll give BooBooKitty to
Squiggy," Laverne threatened.

Shirley smiled. "I'll be good."

"Then let's..." Laverne began, as something caught her eye, "...start...
lookin'..."

"Vernie?" Shirley asked, then waved a hand in front of Laverne's face.
"She's gone."

Laverne grabbed Shirley's hand. "Look." She pointed at two guys on the
opposite side of the store.

"Laverne, he's dusting. Some men actually do that, you know," Shirley
said, turning back to her friend.

"Not him, Shirl, the other one. The one with the vest, makin' faces in
the mirror."

The girls watched as the guy with the duster went over to the other guy
in front of the mirror. He stopped next to him and watched him make a
few more faces before sticking the duster in his face.

"Could you please be a little serious? I know it's slow today, but that
doesn't mean you can stand here all day, making faces in the mirror." He
paused. "You could help me clean if you need something to do."

"But, Cousin, you already cleaned everything here... twice."

The first guy shook his head and sighed. He looked away and spotted the
girls watching them. "Customers." The second guy kept making faces. The
first guy turned his friend around and pointed at the girls.
"Customers!"

"Ohh!" The second guy grabbed his friend's arm and dragged him over,
tossing the duster behind the counter.

The first guy detached himself and straightened up, offering a glare to
his friend, then a smile for the girls. "Sorry about that, ladies, but
my, ahem, cousin was testing the mirrors." He extended a hand. "I'm
Larry. How can we help?"

The girls exchanged glances, then looked back in time to see the second
guy shake Larry's hand. "I'm Balki. Cousin Larry forgets I'm here
sometimes."

Larry separated his hand from Balki's and smiled at the girls again.
"Oh, I didn't forget." He paused. "Are you ladies looking for anything
in particular?"

"Actually..." Shirley began.

"We're just lookin'. We're in from Milwaukee for a little vacation. My
friend, here, wanted to do some window shopping, but they're too
expensive."

Shirley nudged her. "Vernie."

"Okay, just let us know if you find something," Larry said, then went
over to the counter to retrieve his duster.

Balki pointed at Laverne. "Why are you wearing a letter?"

Larry rushed back over, duster in hand, and pushed Balki away. "You'll
have to forgive him. He has a tendency to blurt out anything that comes
to mind, sometimes even before that." He dragged him away, back to the
other side of the store.

"Shirl?"

"Yeah, Vernie?"

"I like Balki."

"Laverne," Shirley said, then groaned, turning to her.

"Shirl, ya gonna loosen up, or what? There's two-a them and two-a us."

"But..."

Laverne patted her shoulder. "Great, that's all I need." She started
over to the guys.

Shirley turned away, pretending to look at some t-shirts. Laverne came
back over. "What did you just do?"

"Asked 'em out," Laverne answered. "What else?"

"And?" Shirley prompted.

Laverne smiled. "I'm gonna see a movie with Balki. You'll have to ask...
uh, the curly-haired guy--"

"Larry," Shirley supplied, sounding annoyed.

"You gotta ask him yourself."

Shirley sighed. "Why do you do these things to me?"

"Hey, what're best friends for?"

"I don't know."


Across the store...

"And you said yes?" Larry asked, taking on a usual pained expression.
"Balki, you don't know anything about her."

Balki smiled. "Good way to find out." He paused. "Cousin, come with us.
She's got a friend--"

"No, Balki, remember our last double date. I don't feel like being embarrassed again. Thank you," Larry said.

"Awe, Cousin, you worry!" Balki commented.

Larry shot a glare at him, which went unnoticed. "You know, I never had to worry before you dropped in."

"Thank you, Cousin."

Laverne dragged Shirley over to the guys. "I had an idea, why don't the four-a us all go see a movie?" She moved Shirley in front of her to her other side, putting Shirley next to Larry. "Whaddya say?"

Shirley glared at Laverne, then offered Larry a defeated smile, which he mirrored after glaring at Balki.

"I pick the movie!" Balki announced, then he and Laverne began for the
door.

"I'm... uh, sorry about my friend Laverne. She has a habit of being like that: instantly latching herself onto a guy she just met." Shirley extended her hand. "I'm Shirley and this is certain to be an interesting night."

Larry watched Laverne and Balki leave. "Interesting I can handle. Embarrassing I can't." He paused, frowning. "I wonder if it's too late to say I don't feel well. No offense."

"Hey, Shirl, ya comin' or what?" Laverne called from outside.

Shirley looked at Larry. "None taken. I say try anyway." He nodded.

* * * * *

To Chapter 2

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