7 INT: Fillmore High
Lenny and Squiggy arrive
before Laverne and Shirley; they’re waiting in line for their name tags at the
gym’s entrance.
Lenny is wearing black pants,
a white long sleeved shirt; a black coat, with the cummerbund across his chest.
Squiggy is wearing a similar
pair of pants and shirt as Lenny’s but has on a Leather jacket over his shirt.
They’re both wearing Converse
shoes.
The gym’s entrance has
balloons of the school colors bordering the entrance, you can hear faded music
in the background; “Da do ron-ron-ron.”
LENNY
(Looks around at the people around him and then
pokes Squiggy)
None of these people look familiar to me, Squig.
SQUIGGY
I think it’s the fact that we’re the only ones that
haven’t aged.
A young blonde girl walks by,
a current student at the high school that has forgotten a book after school
hours; Squiggy eyes her and follows her.
SQUIGGY
Well where have you been all my life, my sweet
lovable bundle of sweetness?
GIRL
(Makes a disgusted face and shrugs him off)
Probably not even born yet, EW.
(Walks off)
LENNY
(Laughs)
Just like old times, ‘eh Squig?
SQUIGGY
Yes, just like old times; all of them trying to
play hard to get. I know I’ve always been a lady killer but never thought
they’d play THAT hard to get me.
They finally reach the woman
giving out the name tags; she’s a thin and attractive brunette.
LENNY
(Reads her nametag, it reads Ms. Sax hire)
Ms…Sex hour. Does that mean I get an hour to…?
(Bites palm and turns towards Squiggy)
SQUIGGY
(Slaps him upside the head and pushes him to the
side, smiling at Ms. Sax hire)
You wouldn’t want him; I think you have a better
chance for fun with me.
(Bites palm)
MS. SAX HIRE
Just tell me your names, please.
LENNY
Say did we go to school with you? You don’t look
familiar.
MS. SAX HIRE
(Annoyed)
I’m a teacher at this school; I am not part of your
class.
SQUIGGY
Why are you here then if you’re not part of our
class?
MS. SAX HIRE
Because I volunteered for this and now I’m wishing
I didn’t.
LENNY
Why did you want to volunteer?
MS. SAX HIRE
(Aggravated)
Look, just tell me your names so I can assist the
rest of the people behind you?
SQUIGGY
But like Lenny said, don’t we get an hour?
(Bites palm and laughs obnoxiously with Lenny)
MS. SAX HIRE
The name is Ms. SAXHIRE, not SEXHOUR. Now will you
two just tell me your names? Or better yet, why don’t you two just take these
tags and put your names on them yourself.
(Hands them each a tag and a pen)
LENNY
Is there anywhere specifically we’re supposed to
put these?
MS. SAX HIRE
(Slams hands down on table)
I give up!
SQUIGGY
(Watching her walk off and turns towards Lenny)
See, told you they play hard to get.