Act/Scene 1:

Laverne and Shirley are at Bardwell’s Department Store, working and going about their regular job and duties. While Laverne walked away into a back room, a tall man with blonde hair and blue eyes walked in. Shirley shifted her attention over to him kissing up as she usually does.

Shirley: OH! May I help you sir?

Man: NO!

Shirley: Oh, haha, well-

Before Shirley could finish what she was going to say, the man crossed over the counter and covered her mouth then backed up into the wall with a firm hold on her.

Man: Listen lady, I’m real sorry to have to do this to ya. I mean, such a nice person… beautiful face…

Shirley tried to break lose, but the man grabbed onto her harder… Shirley began to cry from fear and the pain of the grip the man had on her.

Man: I know who your boyfriend is, and if you don’t bring me to him, I’m not only gonna have my way with you, but then I’ll break you in two and throw the remains of you in the garbage disposal. Which means you’d probably be into little pieces.

The man paused. He looked into Shirley’s scared eyes, and saw the fear and pain. Also he saw the kindness and sweetness of her. He felt something for a moment that he had never felt before. He started to loosen his grip a little more. He finally took his hand off of Shirley mouth. Shirley and the man stood there close because he still had a hold of her around her waist.

Shirley: What do you want with my boyfriend?

Man: None of your business.

Shirley: Is damn well is my business if it’s my boyfriend! Excuse my French!

Man: He has something I want.

Shirley: Well did you ask him for it?

Man: What?

Shirley: If you asked him he might give it to you.

Man: Listen, you keep your mouth shut! I think I’m gonna have go a little extremes.

He covered Shirley’s mouth and picked her up, running out of the store. When Laverne came back she became frantic and started to search everywhere for Shirley.

Meanwhile…

The man had Shirley tied up to a chair in his groggy apartment. Shirley had no idea what she would do. She decided seduction might help. So…

Shirley: Hey, what’s your name? And what’s a guy like you doing in this kinda place?

Man: My name, you talking to me?

Shirley: Well cutie, who else would I be talking to?

Man: Oh, well, Grant.

Shirley: Hmm… nice!

Grant: Why the sudden change in personality?

Shirley: What do you mean? I just like what I see, and when I like what I see, I wanna learn more! You see?

Grant: Sure!

Grant walked over to her and got close to her face. He started to kiss her and she had no choice but to kiss him too. She decided that one, it would help with her plan, and two she had no other choice.

Shirley: Listen, why don’t we go over to my apartment? I like it better there, if you know what I mean!

She winked

Grant: Well, ok! But if you open your mouth or try to make a run for it, you’re dead. BY the way, what’s your name?

Shirley: Oh, why does it matter! Let’s go!

They arrived at her house. When they walked in, she was expecting to find someone in the house. No one.

Shirley (disappointed): Oh, look, there’s no one here.

Grant: Yep.

Shirley: Well, why don’t you tell me about yourself!

Grant: I think we should just get down to the nitty gritty. If ya know what I mean.

Grant put his lips to her neck and she rolled her eyes. Then, she realized what she had gotten herself into and what he was expecting. Her eyes got big.

Grant: What’s the matter? Something wrong?

Shirley: Uh, noooo, everything’s just fine. Actually, well, it’s that time of the month, and so how are we supposed to get to the nitty gritty if well, ya know!

Grant: Oh, well… uh, we can work around that.

Shirley wondered how you can work around that. But then she thought, well it’s really not that time of the month so therefore there really id a way to work around it.

Shirley: Well, then let’s go….

Grant: Alright babe!!

Grant picked Shirley up wrapping her legs around him and falling into the couch. Shirley stalled.

Shirley: Wait…

Grant: Wait? WHY!?

Shirley: I have to get up!

Grant: Oh no!

Shirley struggled to get up but he had her pinned. She screamed and Rhonda came running in with Sqiggy and Lenny chasing her. When Grant saw Rhonda, he loosened his grip more and Lenny and Sqiggy, seeing Shirley under him, made their noises. Shirley motioned to get Carmine. Rhonda ran passed and went to go get Carmine.

Grant: Get outa here punks! Can’t you see we’re trying to do something!

Shirley: No you’re trying to do something!

Lenny: Yeah, Shirl here would never, well, unless it was Carmine, but never with…

Shirley: Would you shut up! HELP!

Grant knocked Lenny and Squiggy down and still had Shirley in a lock underneath him. He started to rip open her shirt. Shirley had had enough and he kneed him and knocked the breath out of him. She managed to get out from him a little when he grabbed her by her arm and was leaving bruises and marks all over Shirley from struggling with her. Right when he was ready to rip her skirt off, Carmine came running in. He pulled Grant off and they fought with Carmine winning. Shirley ran over to the phone to call the cops and they came and took him away. Carmine looked at Shirley who had her shirt ripped wide open, tears running down her sad face, and bruises and marks form the horrible beast. She leaned up against the wall and started to fall to the ground with her hands over her face. Carmine ran over to her holding onto her.

Carmine: Don’t worry Angelface, it’s all ok! It’s over! I won’t let him near you again. Are you ok?

Shirley: NO! How could I be! For one, that jerk tried to have his way with me and hurt me. And two, he wanted something from you! Are you hiding something from me?

Carmine: Oh, well he wanted a boxing glove that isn’t his. He just wanted to take it from me. I swear! I would never hide anything from you! I should have just given it to him,. He said that I didn’t, something bad would happen to someone I really loved. It is all my fault-

Shirley: You love me?

Carmine: Of course… why do you find that surprising?

Shirley: I just haven’t heard that in so long from anyone!

She was still crying.

Shirley: Oh Carmine, I was so scared! I didn’t know what he was going to do. I thought I might as well let him do what he wanted because he was probably gonna kill me anyway, so it wouldn’t have mattered.

Carmine: It would have to me.

Shirley: What?

Carmine: I would have been mad that you died, and we never even, ya know, vo-deo-do-doed together. Well, you would have, but you didn’t want to, and it wasn’t with me…

Shirley: I’m sorry!

Carmine: Why? If anyone should be, it’s me! It’s all my fault!

Shirley: I just am.

They sat there on the floor against the wall and Shirley cried into Carmine’s arms. Soon, they had fallen asleep. Shirley woke up. She looked at her clock. It was 2:30 AM. She started to move and woke Carmine up.

Shirley: Come on.

Shirley and him got up and walked up to the bedroom. They both got under the covers and kissed a little, then they cuddled next to each other and fell asleep. Laverne was laying on the couch in the living room and they had not seen her. They all lay there in the spots, peacefully. Suddenly, Laverne wakes up at the sound of something outside the door. She slowly gets up and looks over at where Shirley and Carmine were before. They weren’t there. She ran upstairs and saw them laying there. She took a deep breath. She had forgotten about the sound. Then she remembered. She walked over to them and woke Shirley up.

Shirley: What do you want?

Laverne: Well, a couple of things, but first things first! There is something-

They hear a noise and Laverne didn’t even have to finish her sentence when Shirley woke up Carmine. They all heard it, and then they heard the door blow down with a loud bang. Carmine got up and headed for the door. Shirley stopped him.

Shirley: Where are you going?

Carmine: What do you mean, “ Where am I going?” Where do you think? I’m gonna go see who it is!

Shirley let go of his arm and he slowly walked out the door. All the lights were off and he was up against the wall aware of the person. He accidentally flipped on a light and no other than Grant, turned around with a gun in his hand, aimed at Carmine.

Grant: Ok Ragusa, don’t move, don’t say a word.

Shirley came running out of the door to the bedroom and froze at the sight she saw.

Grant: OH, look who it is! It’s that little bimbo of yours Ragusa.

Carmine: Excuse me? What did you call her?

Grant: You heard me! BIMBO!

Thew something at him and knocked the gun out of his hand. He charged at him and Shirley ran to go get the gun. Carmine had him pinned to the ground and was hitting him. It was more than Grant could take. Shirley just stood there with the gun and by that time Laverne had run out the door for help.

Carmine: No one calls Shirley a bimbo you hear buddy?

Grant: Oh come on! That bitch never gave you anything!

Carmine: SHUT UP!

HE began to punch him again. Shirley walked over to him and pulled him off.

Shirley: Just give it up Carmine. Lay off. He’s right.

Carmine: What?

Grant: Yeah, I am right!

Grant was able to attack Carmine because he was distracted. But Shirley hit him in his side with the gun and he rolled over. Carmine got up and pushed Shirley aside. He had blood on his mouth. Shirley ran over to him.

Shirley: Carmine stop! You’re hurt! You can’t fight just stop!

Carmine: Shirley, I can handle this!

Grant knocked him out in the corner and pinned Shirley to the ground with his hands around he neck.

Shirley (thinking): Where the hell is Laverne!?

She kneed him in his stomach and grabbed him in a place that truly hurt! (if you know what I mean! Haha)

Shirley: How that feel Grant!? Not to good? Well… good!

Grant: Please!!! Ok, I won’t do anything anymore!

Shirley: Yeah, sure!

She grabbed the gun and rolled out from under him. She had him cornered.

Shirley: Don’t move!!!

Grant: Come on Shirley, you wouldn’t want to do that!

Shirley: Oh it would be my pleasure really!

Then Laverne ran in with the cops behind her and they took him away but this time, for good. Shirley dropped the gun and Laverne hugged her.

Laverne: Are you ok?

Shirley: Yeah, no, I mean…Carmine!

Laverne looked over and saw Carmine laying on the ground. He started to move. Shirley ran over to him. She was holding up his head.

Shirley: Carmine. Sweetie are you ok? Talk to me!

Carmine: Shirl, I’m ok, are you ok?

Shirley: Yeah don’t worry about me! You’re bleeding!

Carmine: Yeah, well not as bad as you are! Lemme up!

Shirley let him up. She felt a pain in her back on her left shoulder blade when she tried to get up.

Carmine: Oh my god! Your back!

He lifted her up and walked over the couch. Laverne was right behind them. Carmine and Shirley both were bleeding and were hurt.

Laverne: Wait a minute! Both of you are hurt! Carmine your head is bleeding, you have a limp. Shirley you have a huge gash in your back and your head is bleeding too! I’m ok, so both of you just sit still and let me take of it!

Laverne got Carmine cleaned up and hew as waiting for Shirley.

Carmine: Hey Laverne, let me fix Shirley up, we need to talk.

Laverne: Ok.

Laverne headed upstairs. Carmine moved over to couch and started to fix Shirley up.

Carmine: Listen Shirley, when were said that Grant was right about what he said, what did you mean?

Shirley: Oh, well I meant, he was right. Ya know, I’ve never given you anything. Just mostly support and things like that. Never anything that you wanted, or for that matter, that I wanted. I am just so…

Carmine: Is that what you think? I thought that we had a great relationship! We’ve tons of fun, and you have given me more than that! You give me your love and your heart and all that.

Shirley: Yeah, but not what you really want.

Carmine: That’s not all I want. It’s fun being with you and doing things. Other men might be different and want, well ya know, but not me! I mean, I guess I would kinda like to one day, well I would really like to, but not just with anyone.

Shirley: Aww, well that’s real nice Carmine. What do you mean not with anyone though?

Carmine: Well, I want to with you. I couldn’t do that with just anyone. It would have to be the right person. And you are. I love you Shirl, and I want to be with you forever and do things. Everything.

Shirley and Carmine leaned towards each other and kissed.

Carmine: Well, we better finish getting you fixed up.

He began to clean up her cuts. Then it came to her back. He paused.

Carmine: Um, so how are we supposed to fix your back?

Shirley: Um… well…

Carmine: Ok, well we both know what we have to do so… this might sound kinda bad, but, could you lift up your shirt?

Shirley smiled and pulled up her shirt so he could fix her back. Laverne came running down the stairs.

Laverne: Are you guys- oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to-

Carmine: OH, no, I was just fixing her back.

Laverne: Oh. Well, I am gonna go to Cowboy Bills. I have ta help Pop. I’ll see you guys later! Bye!

Carmine finished with her back.

Shirley: Thanks.

Carmine: Thank you.

They smiled and then started to make out. They got up and headed upstairs. They closed the door behind them and walked over the bed still kissing and fell back onto the bed. Before the knew it, they were under the covers. Carmine was laying over Shirley and they stopped kissing for a moment. They smiled at each other.

Shirley: DO you feel guilty?

Carmine: No, why would I feel guilty?

Shirley: Just asking. I was hoping you would say no.

Carmine: DO you?

Shirley: No.

They heard the door open and heard Laverne talking to Lenny and Squiggy.

Carmine: Oh no!

Shirley: What are we gonna do!?

They got dressed really fast and sat on the bed. Their clothes were a bit wrinkled but not to bad.

Carmine: Ok, let’s go!

Shirley started to get up and was walking funny.

Carmine: Come on! What’s wrong?

Shirley: Oh, well, um, have you ever read those stories about a man and a woman… doing…. “it”… and the women is kinda…

Carmine: Yeah…

Shirley: Well ya know…

Carmine: Oh, you mean… sore?

Shirley: YEAH!

Carmine: Well, you can play it off! Just say… you hurt your ankle last night. That will work!

Shirley: Ok. Let’s go!

They walked out of the room.

Laverne: Hey guys! Whatcha doin’?

Shirley: Oh, Carmine was helping me… clean the room. And we had to change the bandages on ourselves, and didn’t really think anyone else would want to do that.

Laverne: Why are you walking like that?

Carmine: She hurt her ankle last night.

Laverne: Oh, is that so!

Shirley: Yes! You don’t believe me?

Laverne: No, no! I do! Listen, boys, can ya get out now!?

Lenny: Fine, we know where we’re not needed!

Squiggy: Good-bye!

Laverne: Well, I’m going upstairs.

She leaned over a whispered into Shirley’s ear: Sure, you hurt your ankle. Tell me all about it later.

Shirley hit Laverne in the arm and Laverne ran upstairs.

Carmine: Let’s go.

Shirley: Where?

Carmine: Wanna go to my place?

Shirley: Ok.

Shirley yelled up to Laverne and told her she was leaving and not to wait up.

The End.