Hand In Hand
By Shotzette, Old Time Fan and Missy

Episode Eight
By OldTimeFan

Thank You To Chesh For Tireless Hours of Betaing!

One month later...


Laverne paced back and forth in the hallway outside Squiggy's room. For someone who hated hospitals, she was sure spending a lot of time in them lately. First Grandma's, God rest her soul, and now here. Whether it was New York or California, they all looked the same inside -- cold, white, and terrifying.

At least now she had Lenny by her side, or at least he would be once he came back from the cafeteria with coffee for all of them. Well, at least for her, Rhonda, and himself. Shirley wasn't touching the stuff, due to her delicate condition. Hell, since she'd announced her so-called wedding night pregnancy, she'd been as strict as a Mormon with what she put in her body. The sad thing was, it didn't seem to be making things any easier on her.

Nothing was easy anymore. Everyone was so on edge, so mad and hurt all the time. It took Squiggy's strange, awful condition flaring up to bring them all together again, in body if not in spirit. Well, all of us except for Sonny, she amended. He couldn't be bothered with any of them now that she wasn't his girl anymore, and seemed to be off working almost round the clock. Oh, well, it was probably for the best. One look at her and Lenny together, looking so right and so happy, would probably trigger an incident that would have ended badly all around, especially if it involved Sonny's ham-sized fist and Lenny's cranium.

Not that she hadn't wanted to throw a few punches herself in the past month. Biting her lower lip, Laverne remembered when she had seen Edna standing across the threshold of Lenny's slummy apartment. Even now, it made her hands twitch into fists.

***

"Laverne? Is that you?" Edna had exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you care?" Laverne had spat in return. "I mean, it's only my father's heart that's getting torn apart again, like that matters to you!"

Edna had flinched, but her eyes never wavered from Laverne's. "Look, Laverne, what happened between Frank and me has nothing to do with you. You've got no cause to talk to me like..."

"Like what? Like a daughter facing the woman who broke her father's spirit? The woman who isn't by his side when he needs her the most, like all he did for her never mattered?"

Edna had shaken her head. "What are you talking about?"

Laverne had told her, no, screamed it at her, about Grandma dying in the hospital. Then a bunch of other stuff had come out, unplanned but unstoppable - about how her father had torn the trailer apart in the wake of Edna's departure, about how his business was falling apart, about how lost and hurt he looked all the time since she'd left. When the tirade was over, Edna had been left slumped against the threshold of the apartment, tears rolling down her cheeks. For the first time, Laverne thought she looked every bit her age.

"I...didn't mean for him...it was for the best," Edna had finally stammered.

"No it wasn't. It was for you!" Then she had turned away, so that Edna couldn't see the tears of anger and betrayal in her own eyes. Lenny had opened his arms to her and she'd fallen into them. After a few minutes, when she'd collected herself, Laverne had turned around to find only an empty hallway. Edna had disappeared. Again.

***

That confrontation had been the first of many, with nearly everyone in her life. Laverne shook her head, her thoughts drifting to her bout with Carmine, with her father, and even with Shirley. Good Lord, when did I become such a shrew? she wondered. The funny thing was, about the only people she hadn't let have it over the past four weeks were Rhonda Lee and Squiggy, the pair who normally set her off.

Laverne glanced over at Rhonda, who was sitting in the small waiting room, a look on her face so sad that it made Laverne's own heart ache in sympathy. Go figure the Barbie doll could actually feel so much. And for Andrew Squigman of all people! Not that Laverne could fault her...just one look at Squiggy's face, all drawn with pain, was enough to make her want to hold him and make it all better. Except none of them could do a thing to make it better, except visit him whenever the MS flared up and try to stay cheerful in his presence.

No, I'm not going to cry again, she commanded. This isn't about my problems, it's about Squiggy's. So what if almost everyone I've ever loved is ticked off at me? All I did was tell 'em the truth, after all. The truth hurts, but so what?

She looked back at the door to Squiggy's room, the corners of her mouth twitching. They would all get over their pain, and probably turn out better for it. Unlike poor Squig.

***

Carmine hovered outside the apartment, his fist raised to knock on the door. He'd been standing in the same position for about ten minutes now, and his fist had yet to make contact with the wood. He let it drop to his side, again, and wondered if he'd be able to go through with it.

Damn Laverne! If she hadn't come to New York and magically repaired her relationship with Lenny, he'd never have wound up here in California, outside this perfect little ranch house, with its picket fence and rose-lined walkway. He'd still be in New York, trying out for parts, singing for his supper, helping out Amy...but no. Laverne had shown up and managed to make Lenny the happiest man on Earth right before she'd made him feel like the worst.

He rested his back against the door to the house and closed his eyes, reliving the argument. It had started the minute he'd re-entered the squalid little apartment, right after passing a sobbing Edna dashing down the hallway.

***

"Edna? Say, what's wrong?" he'd asked, but she'd just run right past him, heading down to the apartment she shared with Amy. Carmine had continued on to his place, wondering if Lenny would know what was up.

As soon as he'd strolled through the open door he knew the answer. Laverne was pacing, her arms flapping in the air as she raged, "Len, she had it coming, and then some!"

"I ain't arguing with you," Lenny was struggling to placate her. Before Carmine could turn around and avoid interfering, Laverne had spotted him.
"Oh, so there you are!" Laverne had snapped. "I suppose you're proud of yourself!"

"Um, hi?" Carmine had responded. "How have you been, Laverne?"

"Me? I'm just fine! Now ask me about Shirley, how she is! Go on, ask me!"

At the mention of Shirley's name, his heart had started to pound. "Laverne..."

"You heartless, gutless bastard!" she'd snarled. "How could you do that to her, huh? How?" She stalked over to him and for a moment, Carmine was convinced that she was going to punch him.

Raising his hands, half in supplication, half for protection, he'd said, "Look, Laverne, I know what I did was scummy. Worse than scummy, even. Sub-scummy. But I did it to save Shirl, believe me."

"Believe you? Is that what you told her that night, Carmine? Did you say, 'oh, Shirl, I love you. Believe me, you're doing the right thing, giving up your heart and soul to me. I'd never hurt you, Angel Face, believe me!'"

That was when he'd started feeling more angry than defensive. "Laverne, you don't know what the hell you're talking about! I do love Shirley, more than anyone in the world! What we did that night meant everything to me, understand, everything! But...but it was a mistake." His shoulders had sagged in defeat. "A mistake I couldn't take back. I was trying to fix it as much as I could, so that it would only be a mistake that lasted one night, not the rest of her life."

When he'd opened his eyes, Laverne's flushed face was hovering mere inches from his. Her green eyes flashed. "Well if that's what you were trying to do, you failed big time. Because Shirl's life has gone straight to hell in a hand basket since you left her. Want details?"

He really, really hadn't, but of course, Laverne had shared them anyway. He'd learned about the drinking, the men, the rapid self-destruction of the purest, sweetest woman he'd ever known. By the time she finished, he'd wanted to go back out the apartment window again, only this time, skip the fire escape and just plunge headfirst to the cement.

When she was finally done, Laverne had planted her fists on her hips and glared at him. "So?"

"So." He'd taken a ragged breath. "So what do I do to make it better?"

"Still trying to fix things." Laverne had shaken her head, but her voice was softer when she next spoke. "Carmine, why'd you do it, huh? After all these years, treating her so nice...why did you hurt her like that?"

"God, I swear I didn't mean to! Laverne...I love Shirley. I mean, I really, truly love her, with everything that's in me. Only what is that worth?" He'd gestured to take in the apartment around them. "This is my life. I'm broke, as adrift as I was right out of high school. I have nothing to give her, Laverne, absolutely squat. I'm a waste of a man and I just didn't want to take her down with me. That night...we let ourselves cross a line and you know as well as me that the next step Shirl expected was a proposal. I couldn't give her that, not without having any kind of life to offer. How could I chain her to a loser like me?" Trembling, he'd sunk down into a folding chair, staring blankly at the disheveled mattress on the floor. "Except I've managed to drag her down anyway, from what you're telling me. I didn't fix anything. Shirley's life is still a mess because of me, even though I'm not in it anymore." He'd closed his eyes, not trusting himself to speak again. The weight of his guilt and the pain of Shirley's absence had crashed down, leaving him barely able to breathe.

"Hey." He'd felt Lenny's hand on his shoulder. "Carmine, it might not be too late for you to fix this."

He'd just shaken his head in response. Then Laverne had added, "Look, Len's right. I'm...I'm sorry I came down on you like that. It's just...I love her too, Carmine. And it's been hard seeing her...and she won't even talk to me anymore, not like we used to talk. But maybe it ain't me she's needed to talk to. Maybe the only one she needs to talk to is you."

"Why?" Carmine had finally whispered. "What's the point, now? You say she's got this Walker guy..."

"Walter. His name's Walter."

"Whatever. Army guy, a doctor yet? Sounds like a stand-up fella."

"Yeah," Laverne had scoffed. "For a guy who picks up little drunk gals during leave."

"At least he's sticking around, unlike me." Carmine had shaken his head. "Laverne, I'm no good for her..."

"Why not let Shirl decide whose good enough for her?" Laverne had demanded, her eyes alight once again. "If you love her like you say...and God help me, but I think you do...then why can't you trust her to make a right decision about her own life?"

"Because she's Shirley!" he'd exclaimed. "Because she follows her heart, not her head!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Lenny had replied. As Carmine watched, the tall young man had taken Laverne's hand. She'd squeezed it in return. In that moment, he'd finally understood the magnitude of his mistake. Watching them, he'd suddenly known exactly what he had to do, whatever the outcome.

He'd stayed long enough to support Frank and Laverne by attending Mamma DeFazio's funeral. Then Lenny had asked to borrow the car for a few weeks because Squiggy wouldn't take his phone calls, despite Rhonda's increasingly dire reports on his condition. Without hesitation, Carmine had told him no problem...he'd welcome the company. At Lenny's quizzical look, Carmine had simply pointed to his own, already- packed suitcase. After that, he, Laverne, and Lenny had piled into the car and headed back across the country for California.

***

So now he was outside Shirley's door, having screwed up his courage over the past week since their arrival to get this far. During that time, he'd learned that not only had Shirl married this Walter guy, but was already carrying his baby. It seemed her life had taken a turn for the better - she had her house, her doctor, and her family on the way. It was almost enough to convince Carmine to get back in the car and return to New York, sight unseen.

Then he'd remembered Lenny and Laverne, hands clasped, together in spite of it all.

Carmine's eyes opened wide as he felt the door behind him give way. Flailing, he failed to grab onto anything that would keep him from crashing to the floor. So he did.

"Who the hell are you?" A man's voice, deep and filled with surprise. Carmine blinked up at him until his face came into sharper focus.

"Uh, hi," he said. "Is Shirley Feeney home?"

"That's Shirley Feeney-Meaney," she corrected, glaring down at him like a flea-ridden stray dog. One delicate hand was pressed against her jutting abdomen. "Hello, Carmine. Nice of you to drop by."

Wonderful, he thought. I'm off to a great start.

***

Frank stared at the wall of his trailer without seeing it. Instead, all he could see was a replay of his most recent argument with his Muffin.

The evening had started harmlessly enough. Upon their return from New York, Laverne had come over with Lenny, of all people, to check and see how he was holding up. It had pretty much gone downhill from there, starting right after his little girl had announced that she was taking up with the Polish boy.

**

"You're kidding, right? This is a joke?" he'd asked.

"No, Pop." Laverne had reached over and patted Lenny's knee, which kept jiggling up and down as he sat next to her on the couch. "This is the truth. Len and I, we really care about each other. I...well, I hope you'll be happy for me, once you get used to the idea."

At that moment, he'd wanted to scream. Throw his hands in the air and start ranting about choosing this mook over a stand-up paisan like Sonny. But then, like a splash of ice water in his face, he'd realized something. Laverne looked happy, a lot happier than she had with Sonny. Mamma had wanted Laverne to be happy, had said he should encourage anything that brought her joy. And maybe Lenny wouldn't have been his first choice for her -- or second or third or even tenth for that matter - but beggars couldn't be choosers. He was there, he was interested, and he was a young man capable of making babies.

"You know what, Muffin? That's just great," he'd responded. As her eyes, so much like her late mother's, widened in surprise, he'd grinned. "I'm happy for ya. No, more than happy. Thrilled. I'm thrilled!" Then he'd stood up and walked over to Lenny, who'd shrunk back against the sofa at his approach. He'd stuck out his hand and said, "Welcome to the family, son!"

"Um, yeah, okay. Thanks?" Lenny had accepted his hand and as Frank pumped it up and down, he'd looked over at Laverne with blue eyes like saucers.

"Pop? You really mean that? You're okay with this...us?"

"Laverne, look. You're always saying, 'I'm grown up, Pop. I make my own decisions, Pop.' Am I right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But nothin'. If this boy here is the one who makes you happy, then you have my blessing. Now, tell me, when's the big day?"

Lenny's mouth had fallen open. Laverne had simply blinked up and said, "Big day? What big day, Pop?"

Throwing his hands up in exasperation, he'd replied, "The wedding! Marone, if we're gonna make a wedding, we have to get started! There's the food, and the church...that St. Anthony's down the street looks nice, although I heard funny things about the Father..."

"Pop, whoa! Slow down!"

"Yeah, Mr. DeFazio..."

"Call me Pop, son."

Lenny had responded in a choked voice. "P...P...op. Um, me and Laverne, you know, we just got together..."

"And?"

"And...well...we were kinda thinkin' of...you know...dating first before we got hitched."

"If we're even gonna get married!" Laverne had stood up and glared at him, very disrespectfully. "Pop, what is wrong with you? I didn't even think you'd approve, but instead, you're rushing us to the altar! Why?"

"Why? Why?" He'd heard his voice rise, but couldn't stop it. "Because! Because you're hittin' thirty and I've got no grandbabies! Because you're livin' all alone, now that Shirley has made her dreams come true! Because being alone ain't no good!"

"Shirl's had what dreams come true?" his daughter had shot back. "Her dreams of a quickie wedding to a guy she barely knows?"

"It don't matter! She'll get to know him! In the old country, a boy and a girl, their parents arranged things and after the wedding, they had plenty of time to get to know each other. So will you." He'd folded his arms and glared at both youngsters. "So, Len, you are a kinda Catholic, right? Ever consider converting to the Roman church?"

The boy'd looked like he was gonna faint. Laverne had started yelling all sorts of nonsense about taking their time and getting to know each other, and falling in love. It had all just filled Frank with an icy despair, until he'd exploded, "Enough! I've waited and waited for you to make one right choice for yourself, Laverne, and it's obviously never gonna happen! So I'm makin' it for ya this time...you and Lenny are gonna get married and live a good, decent, happy life together or you ain't gonna waste any more time together at all! Capice?"

Her green eyes had regarded him as though he were a stranger. "You mean a good choice like marrying Edna? You want the same 'good, decent, happy' life for me as yours has turned out to be?"

That's when he'd threatened to disown her, his Muffin, his only child. And that's when she'd stormed out the door with her new past time, and out of his life.

**

"God, what have I done?" he murmured, burying his face in his hands. "Is it so wrong for me to want her to be secure? To have a full life, with a husband to take care of her and babies for comfort?"

The chipped, faded wallpaper offered no response. But then the phone rang. Rising slowly, feeling all of his sixty plus years, Frank picked up the receiver. "Muffin? Is that you?"

There was silence on the other end. Then, a voice he thought he'd never hear again. "Frank? It's me. Edna."

***

While visiting Squiggy in the hospital, Shirley had felt the first, sharp pain. Her hands had flown to her stomach, causing Laverne to exclaim in concern, "What is it, Shirl? Is the baby all right?"

"Yeah...yes. It's nothing." After catching her breath, she'd forced a smile. "There, all better now. Just one of the joys of pregnancy!"

"Yeah." Laverne had given her a funny look.

"What?"

"What what?"

"That look. What's with that look, Laverne?"

"What look? I'm not looking." To emphasize her point, Laverne had stared down at her shoes.

"You know, I'm the happiest I've ever been. The least you could do as my best friend is act happy for me!"

"Sorry, Shirl. I thought you were already doing all the acting."

Her temper rising, she had snapped, "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

"Look, do you really want to do this now...?"

"Yes! Yes, I really do! Laverne, ever since I married Walter and got pregnant, you've been acting like...I don't know. Like you're disappointed in me, or something. In fact, even before that, you've been judging me...when you've been around, that is."

"Okay, fine, Shirl. You want to hash things out, we'll hash." Laverne had glanced around, then grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a corner of the hospital, away from Lenny and Rhonda. "I'm not judging anybody, believe me. After what happened with Sonny, I ain't in a position to judge."

"I'm glad you recognize that."

"But, I am worried about you, Shirl. First you start drinking like a sailor on leave..."

"...that's all over now! I haven't touched a drop since...for awhile now." She didn't want to give away the fact that her baby was conceived before her wedding night. No child deserved the stigma of being a bastard.

"And that's all good. But then you run off and marry a guy you barely know, Shirl..."

"Walter Meaney is a wonderful man!" she'd insisted. "He's a professional, a doctor. Someone who knows who he is and what he wants and, most importantly, wants me." She'd found herself blinking back tears.

"But you don't love him!"

"I...I most certainly do!"

"Bull!" Damn Laverne, she'd always seen right through her and this argument was no different. "There's only one man you've ever, truly loved, Shirl."

"And see where that got me?" Involuntarily, she'd pressed her palm against her stomach. She'd dropped it to her side just as quickly.

But not fast enough. Laverne had nodded and said, "I knew it. I knew that baby wasn't Walter's. There's no way you'd be showin' already if..."

"Stop it!" The tears had started to flow. Wiping at them angrily with the back of her hand, Shirley had said, "As far as me and the world are concerned, Walter is the only father that this child will ever know! The only one that matters, because he's here and he did the right thing by us! So don't you dare mention..."

"Carmine," Laverne had finished. "Come on, Shirl. I told you, I talked to him in New York, and he came back with Len and me to make things right."

"Really?" Shirley had waved her hand. "Funny, I don't see him here, Laverne. He's not the one standing in front of me, begging my forgiveness or offering any explanations."

"I told you..."

"It doesn't matter!" she'd hissed. "Whatever he said, he was talking to you, not me! It doesn't count! Besides," and she'd paused to rub her belly, which had begun to ache again. "It's too late. Whatever amends that man might have made, it's all far too late now. I have a man, a good man who cares about me and my baby. I don't have any interest in..."

She'd broken off as another, sharp pain coursed through her body. A small moan escaped her lips and Laverne had grabbed her arm in concern as she staggered. "Shirl? All right, that's it. You're goin' to the doctor."

Laverne had started to drag her off down the hall, but she'd stopped and pulled away. "Yes, I am going to see a doctor. My husband, the father of my child. He'll take care of us, thank you very much." With that, she'd stormed off, clenching her teeth against the occasional aftershocks of pain as she headed out of the hospital and into a waiting taxicab.

She'd cried in the backseat all the way home. But after the cab let her out in front of her perfect house with her perfect husband waiting inside, she'd resolutely dried her tears, straightened her shoulders, and strolled down the rose-lined path with a smile plastered across her face. Because she had everything she'd ever dreamt of and no one, not Laverne and especially not the man who'd shattered her into a million pieces, was going to make her forget it.

FIN






To Chapter 7

On To Chapter 9











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