Hand In Hand
By Shotzette, Old Time Fan and Missy
Episode Seventeen
By OldTimeFan
Thank You To Chesh For Tireless Hours of Betaing!
Two weeks later...
"So," said Sonny, sitting down across from Carmine. He'd been surprised to see his old roommate at his door. The guy looked a lot better than when Sonny had last seen him, but that wasn't saying much.
"So." Carmine drummed his fingertips on the kitchen table. "Um, I guess I kind of owe you a thank you."
"Aw, no you don't."
"You shoved a finger down my throat, Sonny. So, yeah, I think I sort of do."
Sonny chuckled. "Hey, you live in Hollywood, you learn how to save people from overdoses. It's practically a requirement of citizenship."
Carmine smiled, briefly. "It was an accident. You do know that, don't you?"
"You sure about that?"
His old roomie looked away. "What're you saying?"
Sonny spoke carefully. "I'm saying that you sure seem to be trying hard convince everyone that what happened was an accident. Sounds to me like you're the one who's having trouble buying it."
"Sonny, why in the hell would I commit suicide now, when things are finally coming together for me?" Carmine demanded. "That would be crazy!"
"Look, you and I, we've known each other awhile now. We've shared some things over beer and pizza - about me and Laverne, when there was a 'me and Laverne.' About you and Shirley, and how much you love..."
"Loved. Past tense, Sonny."
"Bullshit. A guy doesn't eat a bottle of Valium over..."
"I hate her." Carmine stared straight into his eyes, as if to drive the point home. "As much as I ever loved Shirley, that's how much I hate the bitch now."
Sonny blinked, startled by the icy rage in Carmine's tone. "Um, Carmine, that's a little...I mean, I was kinda ticked at Laverne for awhile, too."
"I'm not kinda ticked. She drank our baby to death - oh, excuse me, the baby that might have been mine, or a dozen other guys' as it turns out - turned her back on me when I was practically on my deathbed, and nearly got me committed to a nuthouse for her grand finale. I'm done, Sonny. I'm all out of guilt, all out of empathy, and definitely all out of love!" He slammed his palm against the tabletop. "Shirley can shove her friendship! She isn't worth caring about and she sure as hell ain't worth dying for!"
"I guess I'm glad to hear you say that, at least the last bit," said Sonny, hesitantly. "But Carmine, don't you think hate is a little...much?"
Carmine took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and mumbled something under his breath. Sonny wondered if he was having some sort of breakdown.
"Carmine? Yoo-hoo, you okay?" He went over to his friend's side and put one hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah. I'm terrific." He opened his eyes, his voice much calmer now. "A suggestion from my doctor, for when things get...overwhelming." He gave himself a brisk shake. "Look, I didn't mean to dump all this on you. I really just came here to thank you for saving my life. I promise, you won't ever need to do it again. I'm not taking anything but therapy from now on."
"That's great. But Carmine, I ain't the only one you owe your life to."
He nodded. "I know. Amy. God, I must've scared the poor kid to death. I really feel awful about that."
Sonny shifted uncomfortably. "You know, she's got kind of a big crush on you. I tried to talk to her about it, but I don't think she understood."
"I know." Carmine squared his shoulders. "I've got to do something about Amy. I never meant to lead her to believe that we were anything but friends. I have to make sure she gets that, without hurting her feelings."
"That won't be easy."
"You're telling me. I can barely keep myself together, let alone...but I will handle it. It's the least I can do."
"You sure you want to do that? Let Amy down easy?"
"What do you mean?
"I mean, do you want to let her down, period? She's a pretty girl, Carmine, and very sweet. Maybe you should..."
"What are you, nuts?" Carmine planted his fists on his hips. "I couldn't do that to Amy!"
"I'm just saying..."
"No, man. No way. I am never going to mess up another innocent girl. And that's all I could do, Sonny. I don't think about Amy like that, it's just not in me, and I won't lead her on."
"I guess that's the right move, then. Say, I'll tell you what. Why don't you pick up Amy, then bring her to my set for a good time?"
Carmine's eyes widened. "Sonny, you aren't saying...you're interested?"
"No, no, not like that! She kind of reminds me of my kid sister, you know? I just mean that you'll take her to where I'm filming, let her watch a real movie get made. She'd get a kick out of that, don't you think? While you're there, you can talk to her. That way, she'll have a happy distraction when you're done."
"It'd certainly be easier than doing it one-on-one and then leaving her feeling sad," said Carmine, nodding. "Okay, sure. That's real nice of you, Sonny."
"I'm a real nice guy. At least, I can be. Too bad Laverne didn't give me a chance to prove it to her." The last slipped out before he could edit himself. Now it was Carmine's turn to look uncomfortable. "I'm trying to be happy for her, but it's hard, you know? I really thought we had something...at least we could have...."
"I understand."
Sonny knew he probably did. They stood in silence for a couple of minutes, each lost in his memories. Finally, Carmine said, "I should go find Amy."
"Yeah, you do that. Why don't you bring her by around noon? We're filming the finale in the Valley today; some great action sequences."
"Cool. Hey, hang in there, buddy, you'll find the right girl soon. One who will appreciate all you got to offer."
"Sure I will. Take care of yourself, okay? And do yourself a favor; let go of the hate, man. It's not going to do you any good. Just try and let all the baggage go and move forward." He offered an encouraging smile. "Me and Laverne have almost gotten back to being pals. Maybe you and Shirley..."
"Maybe someday," Carmine murmured. "For now, I don't give a shit."
"Carmine..."
"Have a good one, Sonny." Carmine walked out the door before he could say another word.
"Poor guy," Sonny mused. "Giving up so easily." He knew that despite all his protests to the contrary, Carmine loved Shirley as much as ever; the passion in his eyes whenever he talked about her was a dead giveaway. After all, hate was just the flip side of the love coin.
What Carmine didn't realize was that it wasn't over until it was over. Take him and Laverne, for example. As long as she didn't have that jerk Kosnowski's ring on her finger, he knew he still had a shot, however slim. Just as long as he stayed in her life somehow, there was still a chance that she'd realize the mistake she'd made in leaving a guy who was eager to make her an honest woman. Sonny knew that being her friend was the best way to accomplish that.
"Hey," he said, snapping his fingers. "Maybe I can help Carmine figure it out, too!" Whistling a little, he went into his bedroom to get changed for the shoot.
***
"Laverne, are you sure this is the way you want to conclude your honeymoon?" Shirley asked from the back seat of the car.
"I gotta, Shirl. I don't want Sonny to hear about this through the grapevine, y'know? It wouldn't be fair."
"Okay. So why exactly am I here again?"
Lenny glanced back over his shoulder from the passenger's seat. "Because Sonny invited you to watch him film today, too."
"Which was very nice of him, I suppose." She was still curious about this out-of-the-blue invitation. After all, she and Sonny had never been much more than acquaintances, even when he was with Laverne.
"Hey, at least he asked you to come," Lenny pointed out. "Me, I'm just sorta crashing the party."
"You're my husband," said Laverne, steering the car around some cacti in the dirt road. "Where I'm invited, you're invited."
"Does Sonny know about that rule?"
"Sonny don't know about us, period, Len. That was the point in accepting this invite, remember?"
"Oh, yeah." Lenny folded his arms and looked away. "So's you can tell him we're married, after which...what? He pounds my face into the dusty valley floor? Whee, this should be fun."
"Don't worry, Lenny," said Shirley with an indulgent grin. "If Sonny acts up, I'll protect you."
"I'll bet you would, too," muttered Laverne. "After goin' up against my Pop...I still can't believe you did that, Shirl."
Shirley sighed. Laverne had yet to learn as she had that if you didn't take charge of your own life, you'd wind up being batted around and controlled by everyone else in it. Of course, Shirley didn't wish her own life lessons on anyone, much less her best friend. However, she wished Laverne had taken some more time after Sonny to become her own woman before finding another man to lean on. She didn't realize how invigorating it was to be free, dependent upon only yourself, truly steering your own ship. As hard as it had been to reach this realization in her own life, Shirley was grateful that she was there now. She didn't need anyone to protect her or give her the strength to face down adversity, not anymore.
Especially not a man.
"Shirl? You hear me?" Laverne was saying.
"Laverne, your father has been playing with your mind for months now. You keep bitching and moaning that you want him to cut it out, but exactly what have you done about it?"
"I've done plenty!" Laverne cried. "I told him to cut it out, I walked out on him, I ignored him. Geeze, what do you want me to do, shove him off a cliff?"
"Really. Because it looks to me like you did exactly what he wanted you to do. You got married."
"Hey! That wasn't because of her father!" Lenny turned around and glared at her. "Me and Vernie got married 'cause we're in love and, well, that's what people in love do."
"Oh? And who proposed to whom again?" asked Shirley.
Lenny's mouth opened, then snapped shut as he turned back to stare out the windshield. Shirley could see Laverne's eyes narrow in the rear-view mirror. "I asked Len because I was ready, not to appease Pop! Got it, Miss Know-It-All?"
"If you say so."
They continued on in sullen silence. Finally, Shirley spotted a sign proclaiming, "Powder Keg Film Set. Private Site - No Trespassing. Caution: Explosives in Use."
Laverne pulled up alongside a security guard and gave their names. He consulted a clipboard, then nodded and waved them through. After they parked next to several cars that were much grander than Lenny's, they piled out into the fiery hot day and made their way over to the roped-off visitor's area. As they approached, Shirley realized that they weren't the only ones visiting today.
"Well. Hello, Carmine. Amy," she said, mustering what she hoped was a pleasant, but only mildly interested smile.
Carmine shot her a look of pure loathing that she was still not used to, and said nothing. Amy ducked her head and mumbled, "Hello, Shirley Feeney." The girl raised her eyes and gave Lenny an affectionate smile. "Lenny! How are you?"
"Hey, Amy." He gave her a quick hug. Shirley couldn't help but notice that she clung to him a little longer than needed before letting him go. "You get an invite today, too?"
"Yes! Me and Carmine are here, together. Both of us. See?" She took his hand and gave it a hard squeeze. Carmine looked distinctly uncomfortable and remained silent.
"Carmine." Laverne walked over to him and gave him a peck on the cheek. "You doin' okay?"
He smiled for the first time. "Good to see you, Laverne. Yeah, I'm just fine, thanks."
Laverne stared into his eyes a moment longer, as if trying to determine whether he was telling the truth. He winked in response, and she visibly relaxed. Shirley felt a strange annoyance at their easy intimacy, and an unexpected longing for the days when...
Stop it! she scolded herself. Those days are over, and good riddance! He threw away your love, then turned his back on your honest offer of friendship. The hell with him! And after she had bothered to go out of her way to talk the hospital into assigning him a psychiatrist on an outpatient basis, instead of letting them institutionalize him as his doctor had wanted. His thanks had been to alternately ignore or openly stare daggers at her whenever she approached. Well, if Carmine couldn't get past everything the way she had, then she didn't need him in her life. In fact, she was better off without him. If she'd learned nothing else in AA, it was that her sobriety depended upon staying away from anyone who triggered her urge to drink. And that was what Carmine had become, in a nutshell - one big trigger, who could set her off with a mere word or look. She tightened her hands into fists and turned away.
Sonny strolled up, dressed in clothes identical to the lead actor standing several feet away, flipping through a script. "Hey, guys," he said cheerily. "Glad you all could make it."
"Hiya, Sonny," said Laverne, suddenly shy. Shirley noticed that she was holding her left hand behind her back.
Lenny apparently noticed, too. He walked over to Sonny and smiled a little too widely. "How you doing Sonny? Hot enough for ya?"
Sonny's smile wavered. "Len. Nice of you to show up."
"Yeah, well, I wouldn't miss it." He stuck out his hand to shake.
His left hand.
Sonny took it reluctantly. Before his fingers could close around Lenny's, his eyes landed upon the gold band glittering in the powerful sunlight. Shirley saw Sonny hesitate, then complete the handshake, leading Lenny to wince. "So," Sonny said, looking straight at Laverne. "You got somethin' to tell me?"
Laverne walked over and firmly pulled Lenny's left hand out of Sonny's grip. Lenny turned around with a pained look on his face, briskly rubbing and shaking his hand. Shirley rolled her eyes. So much drama. They'd all be better off if they just said what needed to be said and moved on.
"Sonny, I wanted to tell you before you heard it from someone else," Laverne said softly. "Len and me, well, we eloped." She held out her left hand, with its ring finger now adorned with a gold band that matched Lenny's.
Sonny stared at her hand as though she'd just smashed him in the nose. Finally, he said, "Well, then I guess congratulations are in order." He leaned forward, took Laverne's face in both hands, and planted a kiss right on her lips.
Lenny stopped shaking his hand and advanced, a look of suicidal determination in his eyes. Carmine neatly stepped in front of him and put both hands against his chest. "Len," he said. "Don't!"
"Don't what, Carmine? That's my wife he's...!"
"Exactly. Your wife, Lenny, not his - not ever. Let him say goodbye."
"They said goodbye a while ago, remember?"
"Maybe she did," said Carmine, his voice strangely subdued. "But now it's his turn."
Lenny looked confused, but stood still. Shirley returned her attention to Sonny and Laverne, who had gently but firmly pushed the tall young man away. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Me, too." He gave her a regretful smile. "You guys, enjoy the shoot, okay?" Then he hurried off toward the set.
"Carmine, that was real nice of you, keeping Lenny from getting in trouble," cooed Amy, wrapping her arms around him from behind.
Lovely, Shirley thought. He's found someone to screw with who's even more naive than I was.
But Carmine carefully removed Amy's arms and turned to face her. "Amy, I think we need to have that little chat now. Can you come with me?" He held out his hand.
She took it, smiling oh-so-sweetly. "Sure. I'll go anywhere with you, Carmine." He led her off to a clearing behind a nearby boulder.
"I wonder what that's about?" Lenny said, watching them go.
"Don't you know?" asked Laverne. "Come on, you remember when Amy used to look at you like that? Carmine's gotta have a little talk with her."
"Oh." Lenny didn't sound as though he understood.
"You see, Lenny," Shirley sneered. "Carmine's found a fresh, sweet young thing to play with. I guess he can't wait to get started, especially with me in the audience."
Lenny's mouth dropped open, but it was Laverne who retorted, "You know, Shirl, you really don't have a clue about Carmine anymore. So why don't you just take your stupid, self-centered opinions and shove 'em where the sun don't shine!"
Dumbfounded, Shirley watched as her friend spun around and flounced over to a nearby rock to sit. Her husband managed to shut his mouth before some flies flew in and hurried over to join her.
Well, I guess she's all done making nice to me in the wake of my tragedy. Shirley bit her lower lip and glanced back over toward the boulder Carmine and Amy were behind. Was she judging him unfairly? It was a little much to think Carmine would take advantage of a slow girl like Amy. But then again, it was a little much to think he'd swallow a bottle of pills, and look how that had turned out. Of course, he only did that out of grief...but then why'd he turn on her so completely when she'd extended both friendship and a helping hand? His behavior didn't make any sense anymore, not that she supposed hers did to him these days, either. He wasn't used to Strong, Independent Shirley, none of them were, which is why they were all so angry with her lately. That was the problem.
Or was it?
***
Amy looked up at him with eyes wide with trust and Carmine felt a little sick. I can't believe I have to hurt this sweet girl's feelings. How in the hell did this happen? He searched his memory, tried to pinpoint when he had led Amy to believe that they were anything more than friends, but for the life of him, he couldn't. He'd been nice to her, sure, watched out for her at her mother's behest, but he hadn't done anything improper. Maybe this time, it actually wasn't his fault.
Knowing that didn't make the conversation any easier.
"Amy," he said. "I think you've gotten the wrong idea about something and I want to explain it to you, okay?"
"Okay, Carmine. Go ahead."
He leaned against the rock. God it was hot out there! Maybe taking Sonny up on this offer hadn't been such a great idea after all. "Look, I know you like me."
Amy giggled.
"And I like you, too. Just...not the same way I think you like me."
She shrugged. "That's okay. You will."
He shook his head. "No, Amy, please listen to me. I like you as a friend...a really good friend. But just a friend."
Her smile faded. "You mean, not like a girlfriend?"
"Yes, that's right. Not like a girlfriend."
"But you might, if you waited a little while." He tried to respond, but she clapped one hand over his mouth and continued. "I know you're still sad about Shirley being mean and getting sick from your medicine, but I could make you feel better if you'd just let me. I know you think I don't understand, and you want to protect me, but you don't need to! I'm a woman, Carmine. Not a little girl. A woman." She moved her hand to the back of his head, leaned forward, and kissed him.
As her lips pressed against his, he realized that she certainly kissed like a woman. He was shocked by the sudden surge of excitement that hit him and realized that it had been nearly a year since he had been even this intimate with a woman. She was awakening something in him even as he recognized that this was so very wrong, especially with her. Even though it felt really, really good...
"No!" He grasped Amy by the shoulders and shoved her back, a little harder than he intended. She staggered and stared at him, her blue eyes round. "No, I'm not doing this! Not again!"
"Carmine, what are you...?"
"I don't love you, Amy!" he shouted. "Don't you get it? I'm not attracted to you, I don't want you, and I never will! Can you understand that? Is that clear enough for you?"
The moment the words were out of his mouth he regretted every one. They were way harsher than what he'd had in his head, and a lot less truthful than he wanted to admit. But there they were and he couldn't take them back.
Amy's eyes filled with tears. She backed away, her lower lip trembling. "Amy, wait," he said, but she just turned around and ran away from him.
Carmine flung his head back against the rock, pounding it a few times for good measure. "You stupid, heartless, idiot!" he cursed.
Stop it! This isn't about you and your screw-up, this is about Amy. Do what Dr. Schnable tells you - stop wallowing in the emotions and fix the problem! He came around the rock and squinted into the sunlight, until he was able to make out Amy's fleeing figure. It was then he realized that she had run right out of the visitor's area and onto the restricted set.
Right past the sign that read, "Caution. Dynamite in use. Authorized personnel only."
His heart leaping into his throat, Carmine broke into a sprint, charging after Amy and screaming for her to stop. He dashed past Lenny and Laverne, glimpsing the shock and confusion on their faces as he ran. He had only a moment to wonder where Shirley was before something tackled him, sending him crashing to the dusty ground.
***
Shirley couldn't believe what she was seeing. Amy dashed past, tears streaming down her face, sobbing hysterically. Shirley called to her, but she didn't pause, just ran headlong toward the movie set.
Shirley turned around and was even more startled to see Carmine charging after Amy like a wild man. His was screaming at her, waving his arms, running like a man possessed.
My God, Shirley thought. He's completely snapped!
She knew she had to do something to protect the poor girl. So as Carmine dashed past, she flung herself at his ankles, wrapping her arms around his legs and yanking him down to the ground.
They lay there a couple of minutes. As she caught her breath, she saw him raise his head and give it a brisk shake. Then he look over his shoulder at her and blinked. "Shirl? What the hell are you doing?"
"Carmine, you can't do this!" she ordered. "You have to leave that poor girl alone. You don't want to hurt her, you know you don't!"
He shook his head again, more slowly this time. "What are you...?" Then his eyes widened and he seemed to remember what he'd been doing. "Jesus, Shirl, you know what you've done?" He tried to yank his legs away, but she clung to them like a terrier with a bone.
"Yes, I know what I've done! I've stopped you from hurting another innocent young woman! You need help, Carmine, obviously more than I..."
"Stop it!" he shouted, shoving her away and struggling to his feet. He jabbed a finger after Amy. "Shirl, she's running straight into a blast zone!"
Shirley followed his gesture and felt her heart skip a beat. "Oh, my God," was all she could whisper.
***
Laverne hurried up, wondering why everyone had suddenly gone completely nuts. "What are you guys doing?"
Carmine just shot her a helpless look and started off after Amy again. At which point, Shirley cried, "Lenny, stop him!"
Obediently, Lenny jumped up and ran in front of Carmine, blocking his progress. "Why exactly am I doing this?" he begged.
"Get out of my way, Len! I have to stop Amy!" Carmine lunged forward.
Shirley scurried over and intercepted him as Lenny reluctantly gave way. "No!" she cried. "You're not going to get yourself killed, do you hear me?"
"Shirley! This isn't about us!" Carmine tried to shove her out of his way, but she clung to him like a vine.
"I know that! Don't you understand? It's too late! You're already too late!" She shook him, and pointed.
Laverne looked after Amy, past the sign with its all-too-plain warning, and realized Shirley was right. Amy was right where the explosives for the big finale were about to go off. Sonny was already in place on the hill nearby, waiting for them to go off.
"It can't be...I can still get to her," insisted Carmine, struggling forward.
"Maybe I can do it," said Lenny, terrifying Laverne to her core. "I used to run track in high school."
Before he could take a step, she was in front of him, both hands planted against his chest. "Not a chance!"
"But Amy..." he replied, eyes filled with fear. She just shook her head in response, refusing to let him go.
"Sonny!" Carmine shouted, using all the power in his voice to project across the sandy expanse. "Stop them! Amy's out there!"
Laverne watched as Sonny caught sight of Amy. He threw down the protective gear he'd been shrugging into and leapt off the hill, sprinting toward the girl, who was still running blindly toward the explosives stash.
The rest seemed to happen in slow motion. She saw Sonny close the distance between himself and Amy in record time, watched him dive at the girl, sending her flying backward...
Then the explosion blotted out the rest of the scene.
FIN
To Chapter 16
On To Chapter 18
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