Hand In Hand
By Shotzette, Old Time Fan and Missy

Episode Eleven
By OldTimeFan

Thank You To Chesh For Tireless Hours of Betaing!
Episode 11

Shirley finished folding her nightgown and placed it precisely in her small suitcase before snapping the lid down. There, she had everything she'd come to the hospital with.

Everything except her baby.

She thrust the thought aside, and the aching emptiness it brought with it. Lenny and Laverne would be arriving any minute now to take her home. Not to her home, of course, the perfect house with the perfect flower-lined walkway and the perfect picket fence. Walter had made it very clear when he'd spat in her face that she'd killed the baby that was never his in the first place that their house was no longer her home. She knew that should trouble her more, along with the news of the annulment, but somehow, the only feeling she could conjure up was a numbness. Perhaps it was because the perfection of her home, like her marriage, had only ever been on the outside, a veneer that could be easily stripped away. Compared to the deep down pain of losing her baby, the other losses were no more than mosquito bites.

Walter Meeney couldn't even scratch the surface of my heart, she thought. The only two times in my life that it's been ripped to shreds were because of Carmine.

That was unfair. Carmine hadn't even known for sure what she'd been positive of from the first - that the baby she'd been carrying had been his. He certainly hadn't shoved a bottle in her hand and made her finish off what she'd started before she even knew that she was pregnant. Tears welled up in her eyes as she remembered the Pendleton doctor explaining that her baby was already damaged, that the miscarriage was nearly inevitable and probably for the best considering how she might have turned out.

She. Her baby would have been a girl. Would she have inherited her mother's porcelain skin? Her father's curls? How beautiful she might have been...

The tears escaped and began rolling down Shirley's cheeks. She crumpled to the floor, wrapped her arms around her empty abdomen, and let the sobbing and the guilt overwhelm her once again.

"I'm sorry!" she gasped, rocking back and forth. "I'm so sorry! Come back, I want you back, I need you...!"

Suddenly, she felt strong arms wrapping around her, lifting her up from the floor, holding her close. She opened her eyes and saw Lenny's face from behind a veil of tears. His blue eyes were filled with such kindness, such sympathy, that for the first time, she completely understood Laverne's love for the man.

"I'm sorry, too, Shirl," he said softly. "I wish I could do somethin' to make this better for you."

She clung to him like a drowning woman, her tears soaking the front of his shirt.

***

Laverne paused a moment before knocking on Sonny's door. She hadn't had any sort of a real conversation with the man since their last, disastrous dinner. But she knew that if Carmine were going to stick around California for even a day or two, he'd need a place to sleep. In all likelihood, that would be at the apartment of his former roommate.

She steeled herself and rapped on the door. A few minutes passed and she was about to turn and leave when the door finally opened. "Laverne," Sonny said flatly.

"Um, yeah. Hi, Sonny." She couldn't meet his eyes. "Sorry to bother you, but I'm, uh, I'm sort of looking for Carmine."

"Oh." He leaned against the doorframe, not inviting her in. "Should have known."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He sighed. "Nothing. He did ask if he could stay here a day or two until he figures things out, but he left early this morning, didn't say when he was coming back."

"Okay."

"Bye." Sonny started to close the door.

"No, wait!"

He paused. "Is there anything else you need from me? I'm good for lots of things; impressing fathers, warming beds..."

She glared up at him, her eyes locking onto his. "Is that all you think you were to me?"

"You gonna deny it?"

Her shoulders slumped. "I...I'm sorry, Sonny. I really am." She straightened her spine. "But, really, I was attracted to you and I really did like you..."

"Just not as much as Lenny Koslowski."

"Kosnowski."

"Whatever." Sonny shook his head. "You know, I don't know what's worse. Having my girlfriend dump me in an angry snit over a meaningless job, or knowing that it was all an excuse to go after a guy like that!"

Laverne's fists balled at her sides. "Hey, you watch the way you talk about Lenny! He's been absolutely wonderful to me, even after I ignored him and dumped on him for years!"

"Yeah, well, some guys enjoy that kind of thing. Me? I prefer a girl who treats me the way I treat her - with respect!"

Stung, Laverne snapped, "You mean with obedience! You were tellin' me where to work, how to live my life, plannin' a wedding after no time at all, for Christ's sake!"

"Because I cared about you, damnit! Because you meant something to me!"

Despite his angry expression and loud words, she could see the hurt in his eyes. Italian guys are all alike, she thought. All bluster on the outside to cover up the sad little boy inside.

She gave him a small smile. "I cared about you, too, Sonny. Just...not enough. Don't you think it's better that we didn't keep on goin', that we didn't wind up married and with kids before I realized it? Look what just happened to Shirl and Walter. She married the guy she claimed she always wanted, since we were little, and it wrecked her life." Laverne reached up and pressed her hand against Sonny's cheek. "You're exactly what I thought I wanted from a guy, too."

He shut his eyes briefly. "But you figured it out before Shirl did. That your heart really belonged to someone else."

"That's right. Can't really control those things, Sonny, no matter how much you try. I could've kept on lying, to you, to my father. But not to myself. I'm really, really sorry that I hurt you, and I know I should've handled us breaking up better."

"What, better than a shouting match in front of your father?" He grinned.

"Yeah, better than that. But I ain't sorry that I didn't wait until it was too late."

"When you put it like that...I guess I am, too." He covered her hand with his, gave it a gentle squeeze. "I do want you to be happy, Laverne. And if Lenny does that for you, well, that's good."

She smiled. "So, does this mean we can stop pretendin' like we don't exist whenever we see each other? 'Cause I'm really getting tired of that."

"Yeah, sure. You've moved on, I will, too." He sighed dramatically, flinging one arm over his eyes. "Someday, somehow, I will find love again!"

She playfully socked him in the stomach. "See, I told ya, you should be an actor, not just doin' the stunts!"

They laughed together and Laverne felt as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She started to leave, but then remembered the reason she'd come in the first place. "One more thing, Sonny. When Carmine does get here, could you tell him to come see me? I want to talk to him." Her smile faded. "He still doesn't know..."

Sonny pressed his lips together and nodded. "I understand. No problem, I'll send him your way."

"Thanks."

"Goodbye, Laverne."

She winked. "See you around, Sonny."

***

Amy clapped her hands. "Do another one!"

Carmine rolled his eyes. "I think I'm out of breath, Amy."

"Oh, come on! I like your voice. You could be a Beatle!"

He grinned. "From your mouth to God's ear."

This was the second day in a row that he'd spent in Amy's company. At first, he'd felt like a glorified babysitter, but now, he had come to realize that he enjoyed spending time with her. She was so straightforward - no mixed messages, no hidden expectations - just a girl having a nice time with a guy. It was a relief.

Of course, his throat was about to give out. Even since Amy had heard him singing to himself while they walked through the park, she'd demanded one tune after the other. But whenever he looked into her wide, innocent eyes, he simply couldn't deny her.

"Just one more," Amy pleaded. "I promise, that'll be it." She raised her right hand.

He grinned. "Okay, but that's it. I've got to get you back to your...um, to Frank's place."

"I like Frank," she said. "He's nice to me. But he looks so sad whenever Momma comes in the room. Why is that?"

Carmine shifted uncomfortably on the park bench. "Uh, well, that's kinda hard to explain, Amy. Let's just say he and your mother have a lot of stuff to talk about. Hard stuff."

"Oh." She nodded, apparently satisfied. "Okay, how about a sad song?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Why sad?"

"Because. Sad songs make you feel better. I know you're sad about something, too. You have that same look in your eyes as Frank." She reached up and ran her hand through his hair, smiling gently. "A nice guy like you shouldn't be so unhappy."

He swallowed hard. "I'm not that nice, Amy."

"Silly. Go on, sing something sad."

"Okay." He ran through a bunch of songs in his head, like flipping through a mental jukebox. His own selection, a fairly new Simon and Garfunkle tune, surprised him.

When you´re weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all...all...
I´m on your side, oh, when times get rough
And friends just can´t be found...

As he sang, Amy's smiling face blurred and vanished. Shirley's appeared, looking up at him the way she used to with open affection and pride. His heart ached for her.

When you´re down and out
When you´re on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I´ll take your part, oh, when darkness comes
And pain is all around...

But I wasn't there, was I, Shirl? he thought. I left you to suffer alone. I told you it was because I didn't want to hurt you, I even convinced myself. But we both know the truth, don't we?

Sail on silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
Oh, if you need a friend
I´m sailing right behind...

I was scared. It was too much...I felt too much. I knew that you'd become my life, that fame and fortune meant nothing next to you. So I panicked. I ran out on you...on our child...

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind...

Maybe it wasn't too late, he realized. Maybe he could somehow get her back. After all, they had history together, a lot of it. And there was no stronger bond two people could have than a child. He knew that the baby was his, no matter what Shirley said; he knew it in his heart. Perhaps that bond would be stronger than the one to her still-new husband.

For the first time, he realized that none of the rest of it mattered. So he wasn't a star. So he barely had two dimes to rub together. Hell, he'd survived this long, and he'd keep on getting by, somehow. What mattered was Shirley, and that they were meant to be together. As he sang out the final verse, he put all the hope and pain of this revelation behind it.

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind!

The last word hung in the air for several moments, echoing through the park. He caught his breath, then blinked. Amy's face came back into focus.

Her mouth was hanging open, her hands clenched together. Her eyes were filled with tears.

"Amy? Are you okay?" he asked, suddenly concerned.

"That was...I...I don't know the words to say," she whispered.

"How about amazing? Stunning? Incredible?" came a man's voice from behind. Carmine shifted on the bench and looked up at a balding, heavyset man in an obviously expensive suit.

"Who are you?" he asked.

The man reached into his vest and pulled out a card. Handing it over, he said, "I'm the owner of The Twenty-One Club in L.A. Heard of it?"

"Heard of it?" Carmine took the card, studying the silver embossed writing. "Yeah, I've heard of it! It's only the hottest new place in town."

"It's doing all right," the man said with a sly grin. "But it'll be doing better once you're singing there."

***

"So, Rhonda. You sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, Andy. I've told you that ten times!"

"Yeah, but..."

She patted his cheek. "I'm not going to let those idiot doctors stick you in some home. And since your family is, shall we say, unavailable..."

"You mean, completely not interested in what happens to me at all," he corrected.

She bit her lower lip. "This is the best solution. I thought you agreed."

"Oh, hey, I'm all for it." He gestured with his cane. "But this is askin' an awful lot, Rhonda, even for me. And I've asked you for just about everything!"

She smiled. "You belong at home, Andy, with the people who do care about you around to help you."

"Yeah, but..."

"And don't start with 'nobody cares about me' again! You know that isn't true! Lenny is back from New York and he stayed in that hospital almost 'round the clock with you. He's said many times that he is going to stick around and help you, whether you like it or not!"

Squiggy ducked his head. "Yeah, well, he's a glutton for punishment."

"He owes you and he knows it. Plus, Laverne is going to help out as much as she can."

"Aw, she don't have to. Poor Shirley needs her more than me." His dark eyes clouded. "I can't believe her little baby's gone. That's just rotten."

Rhonda blinked rapidly. "I know, it is. But at least both girls will be together again and nearby. You can help Shirley while they help you...that's a fair trade, right?"

"I guess." He shrugged. "Ain't much I can do for her, except maybe fall down real funny and make her laugh."

"That's a start."

They chuckled together. Then Squiggy sobered. "Yeah, but Rhonda, you're really puttin' yourself out here."

"It's my pleasure, I told you. I want to be certain that no matter what condition you may be in that nobody, and I mean nobody, tries to put you away!"

He looked up at her, meeting her eyes. "Thanks. You know...for that. For all of this. For a bubble-headed blonde, you got some pretty clever ideas."

She smoothed a few wrinkles out of her short, white dress. "You're welcome. Besides, lots of girls and their managers..."

"Are you two all set then? It's time!" The minister grinned at them from the doorway.

Squiggy straightened his tie and looked up at her hopefully. Rhonda patted down a stray lock of hair and smiled at him. "We're ready."

They walked down the aisle of The Chapel Of Love. His free hand, the one not resting heavily on the cane, reached out for hers. She took it and gave him a reassuring squeeze, hoping the rapid thudding of her heart wasn't loud enough to betray her own doubts about the wisdom of becoming Andrew Squigman's next of kin.

FIN






To Chapter 10

On To Chapter 12











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