Bookends
By Shotzette and Missy

1972
By Shotzette



Laverne rolled her eyes in exasperation for the twentieth time that hour. It's amazing, she marvelled, how a three hour car ride could turn what she had thought was a cultured, intelligent, sensitive man into the boorish, pompous, jerk that was currently behind the wheel.

Well stupid, she chided herself, it's your own dumb fault for committing to this trip before you got to know him any better. They were heading to a two day peace march near Berkeley. They were committed to stopping the atrocity in Vietnam, bring about racial equality, and furthering the liberation of women.

And this yutz was her only ride home.

Great.

*****

Lenny ran his fingers over the strings of his guitar nervously. For a crowd of people all brought together by a desire for world peace and embracing the brotherhood of man, he thought these folks were pretty cranky.

He glanced over at Karen who was helping Breeze (who's real name, he discovered, was Eloise) put the finishing touches on a "Make Love, Not War" sign. He didn't know why Karen had been angry with him for the last two days, and frankly, he was tired of asking. He was tired of a lot of things lately, he thought glumly.

*****

"Can you smell it, Laverne," Benjamin asked exhuberantly as he surveyed the crowd and stroked his beard. Laverene, who was struggling to get her guitar and sleeping bag out of Benjamin's decrepit microvan, smelled a lot of things. Few of them good.

"Smell what, Benji?"

"It's Benjamin," he said petulantly as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his forefinger. "The smell I'm talking about, my dear girl," he continued condescendingly, "is the smell of revolution, of youth, of change..."

"Speaking of change," she said reaching under her woolen poncho to the front pocket of her battered jeans, "here's my part of the gas money."

He surprised her by grabbing it with blinding speed. "Thank you, Laverne," he said as he stuffed the $2.42 in his knapsack. He smiled as he said, "I'm so glad our relationship isn't constrained by the bourgeosie concept of gender regulated financial dependence."

"Yeah, we're lucky that way. Now, can you carry some of your own stuff because my knees are ready to buckle."

"Laverne, it would really help if you were to abandon your middle class mentality and embrace the whole 'Age of Aquarius' thing, okay?"

Laverne took a deep breath, bit her tongue, and let that one slide.

Gathering their meager, yet surprisingly heavy possessions, they slowly made their way through the throng of mainly unwashed humanity. Of all the marches Laverne had attended, this one seemed to be the most unorganized. Benji had mentioned that this march had been organized by a coalition of local communes. Judging by their inability to coordinate the enthusiastic, although already frustrated crowd, Laverne didn't think the various communes would be able to handle the complexity of the cutthroat macrame jewelry industry.

Forty eight hours, she reminded herself. In forty eight hours, she would be home, taking a warm shower and adding this pathetic anecdote to her next letter to Shirley in the Phillipines.

Laverne heard the sound of a guitar strumming over a loud speaker. Looking around, she spied a stage area. A tall man with long blond hair seemed to be organizing some sort of sing-a-long. Although she couldn't see his face, she did like the way his tight jeans hugged his tushie. Laverne smiled for the first time that day.

*****

Lenny gave up on organizing a sing-a-long. Everybody was eager to start the march, yet the organizers were no where to be seen. Not a good sign, he thought. His thoughts were interrupted as yet another puff of rancid smoke wafted into his face. Lenny grimaced at the bitter stench as he popped another brownie in his mouth. The smell was awful, but the doctored brownies (made with just a hint of Bosco) helped him endure.

This whole commune thing was just not working out. He hoped that when he and Karen moved in with Breeze, J.J., Micky, and Edwin; that he had found a home. Or at the least, friends.

After Squiggy went to 'Nam, Lenny had nearly lost his mind from loneliness. Always best friends, Squiggy had become his only friend. Then Uncle Sam took Sqiggy away from him and sent him to a country that Lenny couldn't even find on a map. A place where Squiggy could die any day.

It just wasn't fair.


His face momentarily darkened as he remembered the day he and Squiggy finally moved out of their apartment on Laurel Vista. Although they would miss their doggie door, it wasn't hard to convince Squiggy to move to the bigger, two-bedroom apartment he found in Tarzana. Heck, he thought bitterly, by the time they left, there weren't even enough so-called friends left to help them move.

Shirley was long gone with her doctor-hubby.

Carmine left for New York in the dead of night.

Sonny... Well, he wouldn't have ever asked Sonny to help him move. Although, Sonny was a big guy and could have done a lot of the lifting. Didn't matter if Lenny had asked, Sonny had already moved to Hawaii.

And God knows, Lenny couldn't have asked HER to help him move. After his first ten attempts at apologies were rebuffed, he gave up and spent the last two weeks at Laurel Vista avoiding her at all costs.

He remembered eavesdropping in the hallway as Squiggy had begged on his behalf for Laverne to give him another chance even if only as a friend. The slamming of Laverne's door rang in Lenny's ears for days.

Fine with him, he thought, stuffing yet another brownie into his mouth while simultaneously reaching for his open can of Shotz. Canned beer, he truly lived in a golden age. Swallowing a large draught to wash down yet another the dry brownie, Lenny tried to regain his train of thought.

Laverne.

It always came back to her.

Maybe it was all for the best. If, miracles of miracles, they had gotten together, how long would it have lasted? Three, four months, at best? Laverne wasn't exactly known for long-term relationships. And he wasn't known for...well, having women interested in him at all.

A few months with Laverne, then rejection time. That's how it always was with her.

If the morning at the diner was still bugging him after six years, he could only imagine how much it would hurt if she dumped him after weeks of being together. Would the time he spent kissing her and touching her be worth all of the heartache? Having her tear herself from his arms just after he had gotten used to how wonderful her hair smelled, and realized how naturally she fit into his embrace? Trying to adjust to the coldness of sleeping alone in his bed again after she would inevitably say good-bye?

Lenny looked down at the front of his pants and swore silently as he held his guitar more securely against his mid section. Damned tight jeans...



*****


Laverne looked around the crowd in dismay. Three hours later, the march still hadn't started. Scanning the crowd, she finally located Benji. Two girls in their early twenties were gazing at him with expressions of adoration on their faces as he droned on about the new world order.

Funny, she thought. Nothing makes a man in his early forties look older than trying to look like and hang out with the younger generation. A flash of embarrrassment tinged Laverne's cheeks pink as she realized that she could be replaced by a younger model before the end of the evening. She was even more embarrassed that she cared.

She didn't care about Benji at all. She was worried more of what the day was starting to represent to her. She was only a few years older than many of her fellow marchers, but there was a world of difference in their attitudes and experiences. As much as the people, kids really, around her wore thrift shop clothing and preached against the evils of materialism, very few of them had ever had to put in a ten-hour shift to make their monthly rent.

Her frown deepened as she saw Benji take a puff off of a joint one of the young ladies had presented. Great. Now he'll make even less sense.

Turning her back, Laverne reached into her knapsack and pulled out a rapidly warming can of Shotz. Canned beer, she wondered, we truly live in a golden age. To each his own, she thought saracastically. I'd rather give money to "the man" for my crutch instead of potential criminals. Besides, as thick as the smoke was in the crowd, she was already feeling a bit high. A second beer rapidly followed the first.

Laverne looked at Benji thoroughly, trying to find out what attracted her initially. He was short, average looking at best, and had a receding hairline. He was also, she reminded herself, well educated with a career.

Not just a job. A career.

A man with a career. Who was going places. A man who was well respected by his peers, or so he said. A man who she thought would never confuse her, or get her feelings all tumbled into a giant knot before stomping on them.

A man who she thought could be her Walter Meeney.

A man nothing like Leonard Kosnowski.

Sadly, the thrill of dating an associate professor of philosophy at a community college just lost all of it's pizazz.

Laverne finished her second beer and started her third.

Lenny.

Hadn't thought about him in ages. Well, weeks. Okay, a couple of days.

She wondered what he was doing now, then cursed herself for caring.

Her best guy-friend, she sneered. The one who waited until she was at one of the most painful moments in her life to kick her in the teeth.

Jerk.

Loser.

So what if he had laid a kiss on her that still made her toes curl at the memory?

Goosebumps? Maybe, but it had been cold that morning.

Besides, he wasn't the first man to give her goosebumps.

That had been Fonzie.

Then again, she reflected, Fonzie could have given a block of cement goosebumps. Can't count that.

Randy.

She felt a familiar tenderness at the thought of his name, even though she had lost him seven years ago. Randy had given her goosebumps in spades, she recalled, smiling at the memories. They would have been so happy together...

No. Randy was gone.

A part of her would alway consider him the love of her life, but an even bigger part of her was afraid that he was. Ever since she lost him, all other men seemed to be second best.

After his death, Laverne had started dating again fairly soon. Far too soon, as far as her old gossipy neighbors in Milwaukee were concerned.

If they had only known she hadn't forgotten him. She was merely trying to.

With every new man, every new relationship, part of her was praying to catch lighting in a bottle for the second time. Life is cruel, she mused, giving you a taste of love only to rip it away from you. Just letting you have it long enough to miss it when it's gone.

She hoped she had found it again with Sonny St. Jacques.

Laverne allowed herself a smile as she remembered Sonny's well-muscled physique and brown puppydog eyes. He had adored her and convinced himself he loved her. He nearly convinced her as well.

He couldn't have known she would have run sobbing from his bed after he had loved her and had asked her to share his life.

She couldn't believe it two years ago when he called her out of the blue and invited her to his wedding. He even offered to pay for her ticket without a hint of bitterness or malice in his voice.

She had gone, enduring a hellish eight hour flight to Honolulu, only to be greeted by Sonny and his very angry fiancee. Oddly, the daggers in Lisa's eyes didn't bother her as much as old adoration that was still in Sonny's eyes.

She managed to avoid him before the wedding, not trusting her needy self to be alone with him. At the reception, one of Sonny's stuntman buddies kept her occuppied.

He kept her so well-occupied that he didn't leave her motel room until the next morning.

No goosebumps, but she had to give him an A for effort.

No goosebumps since...

Damnit, she wasn't going to think about him anymore today.

She looked at Benji who had his chunky little arms draped around both girls shoulders and shuddered.


*****

Damnit, damnit, damnit, Lenny swore to himself as he charged out of the back of the van and into the dark night. First, Karen was still angry with him and he was still getting the cold shoulder. Secondly, the damn march never started! Everyone just hung out in the park all day getting high then set up camp for the night. This wasn't what he was here for! He wanted to protest the war, change the world, get his best friend to come home...

Maybe then he wouldn't be so damn lonely all the time.

Hard to beleive he could be lonely living with his girlfriend and five other people, but he was. He was at his happiest at the commune when he was alone picking apples or walking in the meadow.

Karen never seemed to want to walk in the meadow with him, or do anything outside.

Laverne would have loved the meadow.

Before he could curse at himself for thinking about her again, his body reminded him of the main reason he left the van and he started to walk briskly, if unsteadily, to the porto-johns at the edge of the park.

Two six packs and twelve brownies were not a good idea, his addled brain informed him.

*****

Damnit, damnit, damnit, Laverne swore to herself as she charged out of the tent with the keys to Benji's van in her left fist. What the hell was he thinking, bringing that girl back to the tent? Did he forget she was there, or worse, remember she was there? And what the hell kind of name was Breeze anyway? Like that was the girl's real name! She instantly regretted not introducing herself as Lemon Pledge.

Laverne clutched the keys to the van in her hand as she inwardly repeated to herself, it's not stealing if you bring the van back to his house, it's not stealing if you bring the van back to his house...

Glancing to her right, Laverne saw a porto-john illuminated by the sole light in the park. Weaving unsteadily towards the light, she regretted the eight beers that were playing havoc with her otherwise empty stomach. The stench of weed embedded in her woolen poncho didn't make her feel any better. Laverne shook her head to clear it and continued staggering towards the porto-john. As disgusting as the smelly, plastic structure was, it was at least a three hour drive back to Burbank.

*****

Lenny emerged from the porto-john, dizzy from holding his breath. As he stood outside of the plastic structure, he saw what he thought was a female figure mostly obscured by a poncho approaching. As the she drew closer, he squinted his blurry eyes as he tried to get a good look at her face. Remembering that he still wore his sunglasses, Lenny sheepishly started to pull them off. Right about then, the light bulb in the street light above shattered into a million pieces, plunging the world into darkness.

*****

Laverne's worst fears were realized when the porto-john door opened while she was ten yards away. This is going to be even more disgusting than I originally thought, she said to herself. A long-haired bearded man in sunglasses emerged unsteadily and she instantly remembered him as the tight pants-wearing fellow from the sing a long. As nice as his tushie looked from a distance, up close he had sort of a Viking look going on. One that made her wonder if saving her money for a Swedish vacation might be a good idea. She automatically put on her "hello, sailor!" smile. She stepped towards him, he started to remove his sunglasses, and the streetlight above them shattered.

Laverne jumped back unsteadily in surprise and lost her balance. She sensed the stranger reaching out for her, rather than seeing him do it. She felt his arms go around her as they both tumbled onto the soft grass.

*****

Lenny reached out automatically to stop the girl's fall. In the brief moment of illumation between removing his sunglasses and the bulb exploding, he caught a quick glimpse of long, auburn hair and an overbite. He found the latter quite sexy for some reason. As his arms closed around her, he realized just how inebriated he was. They both tumbled clumsily to the ground with her awkwardly sprawled across his prone form. He opened his mouth to apologize and to see if she was okay. His voice sounded very far away, and he couldn't really form any recognizable words. She let out a quick, and oddly familiar snort of laughter, and didn't seem like she was in a hurry to get off of him.

*****

Laverne let out a small yelp as she and the stranger rolled to the ground. As she landed heavily on top of his chest, she let out a nervous giggle. Usually, rolling on the ground with a stranger in a park in the dead of night would have terrified her, but there was just something about this guy that made her feel oddly safe. The eight beers probably had something to do with it as well.

He was talking to her, but Laverne couldn't make out what he was saying. Maybe he really was from Sweden and didn't speak English? Instinctively, she reached towards his face, trying to connect in the darkness. Her hand reached his scratchy soft beard, an oddly comforting sensation. I've never kissed a guy with a beard before, she realized. Before she knew what she was doing, Laverne felt herself leaning closer to the stranger, finding his lips with her own.

*****

Before he could move, Lenny felt the warm silk of her lips upon his own. After his brain got over the initial shock, Lenny pulled the strange girl into a tight embrace and the kiss deepened. After only being with Karen for three years, this new girl felt deliciously exciting. Yet, at the same time there was a comfortable familiarity to her.

*****

This guy is such a good kisser, Laverne thought to herself. She stretched out lengthwise along his long form, marvelling at how well they fit together. She felt his hands move slowly down from her back, down her waist, then further down to gently clasp her buttocks as he maneuvered her against his torso. Despite the warm night and the heat they had built between them, Laverne's skin turned to gooseflesh under her woolen poncho.

*****

Lenny moaned softly against the strange girl's lips as she writhed on top of him. His hands left her buttocks to travel under the poncho and the tee-shirt she wore underneath. When his hands touched her naked back he nearly went into overload.

Canned beer and bra-less women. Life didn't get much better than that.

Kissing her with added passion, Lenny's hands slowly and tantalizingly began their journey from her back to her breasts. The girl on top of him groaned as her hand travelled down his chest, until...

*****

Laverne moaned as the stranger's large, warm hands continued to enflame her flesh further. She instinctively reached for his belt, and was delighted to feel only the top button of his Levi's in her hand. Judging by how he felt as he pressed himself against her inner thigh, Laverne could tell he had nothing to be embarrassed about in the locker room. Her hand found his zipper and began to drag it downards, until...

*****

ATTENTION: THIS IS THE POLICE. YOU'RE PARADE PERMIT EXPIRED AT 8PM. YOU ARE NOW TRESSPASSING IN A PUBLIC PARK AFTER HOURS. PLEASE DISPERSE IN AN ORDERLEY FASHION.

*****

Pandemonium struck the park. Panicked protesters in various stages of undress and inebriation were running pell mell through the woods under the illumination of police searchlights.

Laverne rolled off the stranger and leapt to her feet. Before she could say anthing to him, he was off and running towards a green van as nearly as decrepit as Benji's.

Benji.

The one person she definitely didn't want to deal with now. Grabbing the keys, she started to run towards the blue microvan. Laverne got inside and quickly turned over the ignition. Swerving manically through the trees, in a way that rivaled her early driving days, she headed towards the side entrance of the park. Miraculously, she didn't run over any fellow protestors, police officers, or hapless woodland creatures.

Laverne reached the main road and turned a hard left onto a side street. As the blocks rolled by and her adrenaline wore off, she realized she was in no condition to drive any further. Pulling over with exagerrated caution, she parked the van and took the key from the ignition. After making sure all the doors and windows were locked securely, Laverne went to the rear of the van and settled down in the cleanest corner to sleep.

Chuckling to herself, she knew Shirley wouldn't believe this one. Then again, as visions of herself dry-humping a total stranger in front of a porto-john flashed through her head, Shirley really didn't need to know everything...


*****

Lenny sighed in relief as the patrolman waved their van through the gates of the park. A lot of people had been in the van that day, and God only knows what may have been left behind. His gaze fell on the woman to his right.

She said nothing. Lenny felt like he was going to explode.

He opened his mouth. He was going to tell her everything, how he was tired of her moodiness, how he hated the commune, how all of her friends were jerks, even how he had made out with a total stranger that night. And how he would have done a lot more if the cops hadn't interrupted them.

He opened his mouth, then looked at her.

She was crying.

"Karen, what's wrong?"

"I don't know how to tell you this..."

"What's wrong? Did someone hurt you?" he asked, immediately protective out of habit if nothing else.

"No. Nothing like that." She took a ragged breath. "Lenny, I'm so sorry. I'm pregnant."

The van careened madly on the dark street before Lenny pulled over behind a blue microvan and shut the engine off.

"You're what?" he asked, increduality on his face.

"I'm pregnant. And I've decided to keep it." she added. "I think it's the right choice for me."

Lenny stared at her, still in shock.

"For heaven's sake, please say something, Lenny."

"I thought you were on..."

"I was, I just got careless, that's all. I swear, I didn't mean for this to happen."

"A baby," he said in a soft voice as a big grin spread across his face. As he pulled her into his arms, he said, "We can drive to Vegas tonight and get married, then we ca--"

"No," Karen said quietly. "I don't want to get married, and I never want you to feel obligated to stay longer than you want. I never want you to feel trapped with me. I still don't believe in the whole till-death-do-we-part bit, and a baby doesn't change that."

"But--"

She turned from him, sniffling. "This is why I dreaded telling you about the baby."

He opened his mouth again, but no words came out. So many conflicting feelings were at war within him. His eyes fell to Karen's abdomen and one feeling started to out grow the others.

Love for his child.

He couldn't make Karen marry him, but he could be a father. The best damn father anyone had ever seen.

Lenny smiled and he started to think of baby names as he pulled a way from the blue microvan and drove slowly down the street..

FIN



Back To 1967

To Christmas-1972











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