Jo Moves in Written by - Joanna Hunter Act 1 Scene 1 - Int. Night Laverne and Shirley's apartment Shirley is singing the Tony Bennett song, "Rags to Riches" while doing the laundry. Laverne is ironing and whistling along with her while ironing and tossing the clothes to Shirley when she was finished with them. Shirley is folding the laundry. Shirley We came from rags to riches... There's a knock at the door. Shirley goes to answer it, locking the door when she gets there. Shirley (In a low hoarse voice) Who is it? O.S. JoHunter It's me. Shirley unlocks the door peeks out and opens the door. JoHunter Fonzarelli comes in with a mad look on her face, she stomps to the couch and sits down. Laverne No hello? JoHunter (Angrily) Hello. Laverne stops ironing and Laverne and Shirley sit down on the couch with Jo in the middle. Shirley Something wrong? JoHunter (Very irritated) Is there something wrong? No! There's nothing wrong! Everything is just GREAT!! Laverne Yeah, I see. (Pause) What's wrong? JoHunter Okay, I'll tell you what's wrong. It's Fonzie! The girls look a bit alarmed. Shirley What's wrong with Fonzie? Is he hurt? JoHunter No he ain't hurt. It's just that he always tells me to stay away from home until 1:00 in the morning if he has a date. The girls sympathize for Jo. Laverne You must have to do that a lot huh? JoHunter A lot? How about everyday for the last six months? I gotta get out of there. I mean I like Fonzie and all but this is getting ridiculous! Shirley Well have you talked to him? Jo looks up at her. JoHunter Yeah I've talked to him. Laverne Well what did he say? JoHunter He said, (In her Fonzie voice) "Well if you don't like it go get your own apartment!" Laverne Well that shouldn't be a problem. JoHunter Well it wouldn't be if I had the money. The fact is I don't have enough money to keep the rent. Shirley get's an idea look. Shirley Why don't you stay with us? Jo and Laverne give her a "I don't think so" look Laverne I don't think so Shirl. Shirley Well why not?! I think it's Jo's decision, we should ask her what she thinks. They both look at Jo, Shirley with a hopeful face and Laverne with a don't face. Jo shakes her head. Shirley Well why not Jo?! JoHunter Well it's hard to explain. I'm a guy girl, I feel more comfortable around guys than women. Shirley looks confused. JoHunter See I got to live with a guy who wouldn't mind me around. A guy that I wouldn't mind living around. As though the speak of the devil Lenny and Squiggy pop in. Squiggy Hello. Laverne gives a sly look to Jo. Jo's eyes grow wide. JoHunter Are you crazy?! Laverne Well! It's the best thing you could do. And you're going out with one of them anyways so what does it matter?! JoHunter I AM going out with Lenny but moving in is a long term relationship thing. Besides they probably wouldn't agree to it. Squiggy Hello are we totally forgotten over here? Laverne Hey guys could we ask you a little favor? It's for Jo. She get's up and walks toward the guys. Shirley Laverne!! You're not actually serious about doing this are you?! Laverne Come on Shirl! If she doesn't like it we could always help her apartment hunting. Lenny What's the problem? Laverne Well you see Jo wants to move away from Fonzie. She points to Jo. The boys look around Laverne and smile at her. Jo smiles back. Laverne And she needs a place to stay... Squiggy Oh sure she can crash at our place. Just as long as she pays part of the rent. Laverne Great! You hear that Jo. Jo gives a fake smile. JoHunter Oh yes, I'm just jumping for joy. Lenny Yeah, this will be a great way to broaden our relationship and get to know each other better. The boys give a sly look at Jo. She shifts uneasily on the couch and gives a weak smile. Squiggy Just as long as you don't vodey-yo doe in the day time. The girl's eyes bulge out of their heads. Laverne and Shirley quickly walk over to Jo who's clutching the couch. Shirley (Urgently) If they even TRY to vodey-vo doe with you you just call us and we'll kill them!! JoHunter It's okay I think I can handle them. (Turning toward the boys) I'll move in tomorrow okay? Squiggy Okay. Lenny All right. Shirley Okay, I think you boys should go now. Squiggy But we need to borrow... Laverne We'll give it to you tomorrow. Laverne and Shirley scoot Lenny and Squiggy out the door closing it on them. Shirley breaths a sigh of relief. They walk back over to the couch. Shirley I can't believe you're actually going to go through with it and live with them!! JoHunter (Off into space) The things I do to get away from my brother. Laverne gives another sly smile to Jo. Laverne You know I bet you couldn't spend a whole week with them. JoHunter I could so!! Laverne Betcha can't!! They get into a small argument with Shirley separating them at they end yelling, "Stop!" Shirley Now let's just go to bed and sleep. Jo has a big day tomorrow. Jo and Laverne mumble "okays" Laverne Betcha can't. JoHunter I'll betcha 5 bucks that I can. Laverne It's a deal. The two shake hands with evil grins on their faces. Scene 2 - Int. Day Lenny and Squiggy's apartment Laverne, Shirley and Jo come into the room with boxes. They set them down in the middle of the room. Jo sits on a box, Shirley leans against the door and Laverne stands next to Jo. Laverne Where's Lenny and Squiggy? JoHunter I think they're downstairs picking up the last boxes Laverne nods. Shirley What do you have in all these boxes?! JoHunter (While pointing to various boxes) Well some hold combs and hair tonics. Some hold T-shirts, jeans, sneakers, jackets. And another holds some of my personal belongings. Shirley opens a box and pulls out a stuffed dog. Shirley What is this? Jo makes a quick grab for the dog. She pets it and cuddles it in her lap. JoHunter Nobody touches Binkie! He's my rottweiler, I've had him since I was a little kid. Laverne Maybe Binkie and Boo Boo Kitty should get to know each other. Shirley That's a good idea. JoHunter Yeah that way Binkie can have his favorite dish. Kitty a la mode. The door opens and in comes Lenny and Squiggy with some boxes. They set them down with a sigh of relief. JoHunter Is that all? Lenny Yep those were the last boxes. Squiggy What do you have in all those boxes. Dolls? Len and Squig laugh at the stupid joke. JoHunter No not dolls. It's my hair stuff, clothes, bike stuff and personal stuff. Lenny Well we'll help you unpack. Shirley Well we'll just be going now. See ya later Jo. JoHunter Bye. Laverne Bye. Laverne and Shirley exit. Lenny, Jo, and Squiggy start opening boxes and taking out the contents. Lenny sifts though his box finds a black leather top that looks like a Jeanie's (I Dream of Jeanie) bra, puts his palm in his mouth and faints. Squiggy stares with wide eyes and Jo snatches the top. Scene 3 Int. Laverne and Shirley's apartment. Laverne walks in and Shirley gives Laverne a mean look. Shirley I can't believe you're making her do this. You know that she couldn't last a week out there. She'll go insane!! Laverne Yeah, I know. That's why I made the bet. Shirley Laverne, you know JoHunter is your friend. I mean she has gotten us out of fights and jams. Why are you doing this to her? For 5 bucks? Laverne looks like she's considering calling the bet off. Laverne Okay, if she wants to quit then she doesn't have to give me the 5 bucks. Shirley Good. Now back to the laundry. They start to head for the laundry. End of Act 1 Act 2 Scene 4 - Int. Night Lenny and Squiggy's apartment. The gang is all in their pajamas ready for bed. Lenny and Squiggy go toward the bunk beds while Jo heads for the couch. Squiggy Nice jammies Jo. He points to her motorcycle pajamas. JoHunter Well I wouldn't talk. I usually don't wear pajamas to bed. I wear that leather top that you found. Lenny puts his palm in his mouth while Jo turns out the lights. After a few minutes Squiggy gets out of his bed. Squiggy Lenny, Lenny, wake up. Lenny moans and groans and sits up in his bed. Lenny Is it morning already? Squiggy No. I wanna get a chance to see her in that leather top tonight. It looks like a bra. Lenny How do you know she's wearing it? Squiggy She's wearing it! I just know it. Lenny What if you're wrong and she ain't wearing nothing? They give sly looks at each other as Lenny puts his palm in his mouth again. Lenny gets out of bed and they creep over to Jo. Lenny Better make sure she's a sleep. Squiggy waves his hand over Jo's face. He tickles her. She doesn't stir. He smiles and start unbuttoning her top carefully. Every time she groans or moans they start to head for the bunk bed. Finally when he's done unbuttoning he opens her shirt revealing her black leather top. Lenny lets out a high pitched squeal puts his palm in his mouth and faints. Squiggy stares over Jo drooling for a minute. She starts to stir again and Squiggy quickly buttons her shirt. Squiggy wakes up Len and they go back to sleep smiling. Scene 5 - Int. Morning Lenny and Squiggy's apartment Jo, Squiggy, Lenny all have their clothes and cleaning stuff to use the shower. They all try to fit in the door at once. JoHunter Wait, wait, wait! This isn't going to work. They back up and then rush to the door again. JoHunter Let's settle this like adults. Squiggy Okay. (Points to each person) Eenie Meenie Minee.... JoHunter (Stops him) No! Here, um I'll take a shower at night, and be the last one to put my hair stuff on in the morning. Lenny you like the cold showers right? (he nods) Then you're after Squiggy because he likes the hot showers. The boys nod as Squiggy proudly goes toward the bathroom. Jo sits on the couch. Lenny sits on the couch with her. He puts his arm around her. And then kisses her. She pushes him away quickly. Lenny What'd I do?! JoHunter Never, EVER, make out with me before my hair is greased. He nods understandingly. Scene 6 - Int. Day Laverne and Shirley's apartment Laverne is sitting watching TV while sewing an "L" on a new T-shirt. Shirley is making drinks. Shirley Gee, it's been three days and still no sign of Jo. Where do you think she could be? Laverne When it has something to do with Lenny and Squiggy who knows. Just thinking about living with those two disgusting, rude, obnoxious creeps makes me shudder. Jo comes into the room with a curl in her hair like Squiggy. A leather jacket that says, "Lone Fonz", jeans with a belt, a purple shirt on top of her white one, and sneakers. She looks like a cross of Lenny and Squiggy. JoHunter (In a Squiggy voice) Hello. Laverne and Shirley didn't turn around when she came in. Shirley Oh hi, Squig... She screams at Jo. Not knowing who it is. Jo backs off cowardly like Lenny and Squiggy would have done. Laverne turns around and screams. They get up and walk toward Jo cautiously. Laverne Jo, is that you? JoHunter (Still in her Squiggy voice) Yeah. What's you two's problem? They look very alarmed. Shirley What's with your clothes? And your hair? JoHunter Oh well today gotta little messed up. You see I got Squiggy's shirt and Lenny's belt. I don't know how the hair thing happened. Laverne Jo, maybe we should call this bet off. JoHunter No, no, no. I can do it. It's just getting to me a bit that's all. Shirley Jo, I think for the sake of your sanity. We should call the bet off. JoHunter Oh, I get it. You know that I'm going to win so you're just trying to call the bet off. Nice try Laverne but I'm sticking with the bet. She storms out of the apartment. Laverne Well there's nothing I can do now. I tried, but she has the mind of Lenny and Squiggy now. Shirley It's amazing. Did you hear how her voice sounded like... Laverne nods solemnly. Scene 7 - Int. Night Lenny and Squiggy's apartment The guys are still in their regular clothes sitting on the couch watching "Heckle and Jeckle" Jo is in the bathroom talking to them. O.S. JoHunter Okay guys. To celebrate the 4th night of me staying here you're going to be in for a treat. The boys don't really pay attention. They laugh at the TV show. O.S. JoHunter On the count of three. 1, 2, 3... She comes out in her black leather top. The boys don't notice because they're still watching the TV JoHunter Guys. GUYS!! They turn to look at her and as usual Lenny stands up puts his palm in his mouth goes over by Jo kisses her, then walks back over to the couch knocking things over and tripping. As if by a magnet Squiggy stands up with wide eyes go over by Jo checks her over kisses her and goes back to the couch. They both have a glazed look on their faces. Scene 8 - Int. Day Breakroom at Shotz Laverne and Shirley are sitting at their usual table eating lunch. Laverne I wonder if she did it. Shirley Oh, Laverne is that all you can think about? If Jo won the bet or not? Laverne Well we haven't heard from her or from Lenny or Squiggy since that one day. Lenny and Squiggy enter the breakroom in their usual work clothes looking high and mighty among the people. Squiggy doesn't have his little curl on his forehead. Squiggy (In a very normal voice) Hello. Laverne and Shirley look in awe as Squiggy says something in a normal voice. The boys approach the girls. Lenny (In a normal voice) My my aren't you two girls looking pretty today. Now the girls are looking a bit scared. Laverne Len-len-len-Lenny is that you? He smiles widely. Lenny Oh Laverne please call me Leonard. Lenny is such a childish name. Right Andrew? Squiggy Right Leonard. They laugh a bit at their wit. Now the girls look REALLY frightened. Shirley Guys what happened to your voices? You sound, normal. Lenny Well apparently I've done this (Puts palm in mouth) until my teeth straightened out. The girls knowing that Lenny only does that when he thinks or sees something he "likes" get very alarmed. Laverne Why would you do that Lenny, I mean Leonard? Squiggy Because we saw a side of Jo that no other women would show us. She showed us her, black leather top. The girls now stand up and exit the breakroom, while "Leonard" and "Andrew" eat their lunch. Scene 9 - Int. Day Laverne and Shirley's apartment Laverne and Shirley drag Jo into the apartment, both extremely upset. Shirley I told you Laverne that she would go crazy! Laverne I knew it too, but I didn't know it would go this far!! They throw Jo onto the couch. JoHunter What's the matter with you two? Shirley Leonard and Andrew just told us that you showed them your black leather top, whatever that is! JoHunter Well... Laverne And their voices! They sound normal. I hate to say this but I miss the guys. JoHunter Okay, I won't show them my top again, and I'll get their voices back to normal. Shirley And you'll promise you'll move out of there. JoHunter NO! I just got adjusted there. I mean Binkie has finally made friends with Jeffrey. I helped Squiggy add to his moth collection. Lenny even put "Lone Fonz" on my leather jacket. I just can't leave them, I mean I do their laundry and make them lunch. Laverne You do that for them?! How could you? JoHunter I like them Laverne. I just can't move out on them. They depend on me. Shirley Okay, if you don't mind then I guess you can stay there. JoHunter Great, now I think that you owe me 5 bucks Laverne. Laverne mutters something and then goes for her wallet. She takes out 5 dollars and gives it to Jo. She smiles and leaves the apartment. Shirley She's a bold kid. Laverne Yeah. I wonder if she'll be able to get those two voices back to normal... Lenny and Squiggy come in with their normal attire. Squiggy (In his normal voice) Hello. Shirley Andrew your voice is back! Squiggy We quit with this Andrew and Leonard stuff. Lenny Yeah, I just found out that he was faking his voice all along. Laverne How'd Jo get your voice back Lenny? Lenny She said that it was an old parlor trick she learned from Fonzie. Squiggy I don't know what it's called but I loved it! Lenny I don't even know why she did it on you, you were faking it! Shirley So Jo's moving in for good huh? Squiggy Yeah, she's real nice around the house. And Binkie is a good dog, once you get to know him. Jeffrey didn't like him at first though. Lenny Come on, let's see what Jo's making for dinner. Okay? Squiggy Okay. The boys leave as strangely as they came. Laverne and Shirley just look at each other and smile. Shirley I wonder what she did to them to get their voices back. Laverne I bet I know. Shirley You do? What? She makes a kissing face and Shirley laughs and throws a pillow at her.