Title: Together Again
Author: Emily L.
Email: lavennyfic@gmail.com
Category: Romance, Comedy

Rating: PG (mild adult content)

Het/Gen/Bi: Het

Parts: 1/1

Spoilers: None.

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, they belong to Paramount. Don’t sue me - I might cry.
Pairing: LDF/LK, FDF/EB
Distribution: I’m keeping my fic on here for now. E-mail me if you have any requests.

Authors Notes: For Missy

Setting: California, post-Mummy's Bride
Summary: Laverne sends Frank's name to a computer dating service, but who will he end up with?

 

She twirled the gold band on her left ring finger and stared at the clock, waiting for her shift at Ajax to be over and done with. Chuck was spouting off useless information about alternate ways to send dogs to space, and all she wanted was a nice cold bottle of Shotz and a kiss and a hug from her husband.

 

'My husband,' she thought to herself for the millionth time since she said “I do.” She and Lenny had finally gotten married, with the reluctant blessing of her father. He knew she was lonely since Shirl had run off with Walter, and he had to admit that he was lonely too, since Edna had left him and gone back to Johnny Babish.

 

“So then I thought that quite possibly the best way to send man's best friend into space would be to catapult him off of the... Laverne, are you listening to me?”

 

“No.” She replied, her face completely void of any emotion. “I mean... yeah! I think that's a real swell idea, Chuck. You should write a letter to the President.” She walked over to the chair closest to the door, ridding herself of her work boots so she could get changed faster and high tail it out of Ajax before Chuck came up with any more brilliant ideas.

 

“Say, Laverne...” Chuck muttered, his eyes widening as he came closer to her. She briefly wondered how any man managed to scare her more than Squiggy, but quickly rid herself of that thought so she could try and focus on what he was saying. She waited for him to say something, but his blank stare indicated that he was either finished with his thought or was waiting for her to say something.

 

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, Chuck?”

 

“What's been bothering you lately? Do you miss Lenny or something?”

 

She smiled at the sound of his name, and at the fact that Chuck was at least mildly perceptive.

 

“Yeah, I do. A lot, actually. I know I don't work no real long hours or nothin', but we didn't have enough money for our honeymoon, and you know we've only been married for a couple of weeks...I had to come back here two days after the wedding.”

 

“I'm sorry, Laverne. If I could find a way to legally and efficiently clone you so that you could be here and at home with Lenny at the same time, I would.”

 

“That's... that's real, thoughtful Chuck.” While that was certainly a doozy of a thought he had there, she at least gave him credit for wanting to try. She bit her bottom lip, wondering why in the world she was about to tell Chuck all of her business, but there was still five long minutes until she could clock out, and she didn't feel like listening to Chuck ramble on about playing The Beatles albums backwards again. She knew that was all just some dumb hoax.

 

“Well... there's another thing too, Chuck. See... my Pop was married to a woman named Edna for a few years. She used to be our landlady back in Milwaukee, and I was sure that they were gonna be together forever. It wasn't like my Pop to marry another woman after my Mama died, so it was pretty serious.”

 

“...did she die?”

 

“No, she didn't die. But she might as well have. She left my Pop and flew back to Milwaukee to start living with her  ex-husband again. Now he's all alone runnin' Cowboy Bill's by himself, and he's gettin' a little too old to do that.”

 

“That's a real shame, Laverne. But you know what? I know of a computer dating service that fool-proof, and I know we could find the perfect match for your father.”

 

“Noooo, no no no, Chuck. I entered one of those computer dating services back in Milwaukee and me and Shirl ended up datin' a bunch of horny midgets. I'd rather my father not have to go through the same thing, but... thanks a lot for tryin' to help.”

 

“No, Laverne! This will be perfect! I know it works perfectly – your father will find the woman of his dreams!” She squinted at him, trying to read was he was scribbling onto the back of the printer paper.

 

“Are you sure this is gonna work, Chuck? I don't want my Pop endin' up with no loser...”

 

“Positive! I once entered the information for my Parakeet, Stephanie, and she found the perfect mate!”

 

She cringed at his words and took the paper from his hands, shoving it into her pocket. “Great, Chuck... thanks a million. I'll make sure to tell my Pop about this.” Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was five o'clock and silently thanked Father Time, and snuck out of the room before Chuck had anything else to say to her.

 

 

 

“Honey, I'm home!” She shouted, tossing her purse onto the couch. Within seconds, Lenny greeted her in the living room and swept her into a strong, warm hug.

 

“Mmm, love you...” he murmered against her parted lips as her arms linked around his neck. She clung to him as he slowly rubbed her back through her sweater. “Tough day at work today?” he whispered into her hair.

 

She pulled back from him, taking his hands in hers. “Not really... I've just been real worried about my Pop lately. He's still heartbroken over Edna.”

 

“I've noticed. I never thought those two would split, Vernie. I know she's been married a bunch of times, but I thought she was better than that.”

 

“I did too,” she sighed. “I don't know what to do with him, Len. Other than somethin' Chuck suggested, which... I would never go through with in a million years.”

 

“What's that?”

 

“He gave me the number to a computer dating service. Like my Pop would actually do somethin' like that...”

 

He looked at her defensively. “Hey! Squig and I helped you and Shirl with a computer dating service back in Milwaukee! What's so bad about 'em?”

“...Did you ever see our dates, Len?” He chuckled at the memory of the two men they ended up with. “Oh, I don't know what to do about it. I mean, I could at least try, right? I could just call the service, get them to fix up the date, tell my Pop he's got a blind date, and have 'em meet somewhere. Then if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.”

 

Lenny mulled over Laverne's proposition. “Sounds good to me!”

 

 

 

“May I take your coat, Mr. DeFazio?”

 

Defensively pulling his jacket against his form, he snapped at the waiter. “No... you may not. I wore it, so I'm gonna keep on wearin' it!”

 

“Alright, Mr. DeFazio, have your way. Your table is right over here, let me take you to it.” Frank grimaced at the phoney accent that Jacque, the French waiter in the tight pants, possessed. Once he was over and done with this date, he was going to go home and bawl out Laverne for setting him up at such a hoity toity restaurant. “And here is your date, Mr. DeFazio,” Jacque said, handing him a menu and pouring him a goblet of water.

The woman in the gold collared dress looked up at Frank as he was pushing himself and his chair closer toward the table.

 

“Frank?!”

 

“EDNA.”

 

 

 

“That was... amazing...,” Laverne huffed, catching her breath and pulling her short nightgown down over her hips and righting the couch pillows.

 

“Only the best for my wife,” he giggled.

 

“Len, don't giggle...”

 

“Alright, alright. It's just that it's not every night I get to have a quickie on the couch with the girl of my dreams right before her father drops in.”

 

“Yeah, it is every night, Len,” she said, rolling her eyes. “We're married, remember?”

 

“I know, but I still feel like it's a dream...”

 

“It ain't, Len. And we got the whole weekend to have even more quickies on the couch. Or on the kitchen counter or balcony or in the bathtub...”

 

He listened as she went on, and was becoming more and more aroused. Until the doorbell rang.

 

“Quick, Len! Take care of your...”

 

He gulped, running towards the bathroom. “I'll be right back, Vernie...”

 

Pulling on her purple robe and coiffing her hair, Laverne strolled towards the door.

 

“Hi, Po – Edna?!”

 

“Hi, sweetie!” Edna yelped, reaching to Laverne for a hug.

 

Completely confused, Laverne stared at Edna with a look of contempt. “Pop... what... how... huh?”

 

“She was my date. I can't believe you had the nerve to fix me up with her!”

 

“Pop, it wasn't me, it was a-”

 

“But I wanna thank you, Muffin, for lettin' us have a second chance.”

 

Edna sensed Laverne's discomfort, and pushed Frank aside. “Frank, I'd like to talk to Laverne alone. Could you excuse us for a little bit?”

 

“Yeah, Pop, I gotta few things I wanna talk to her about. Could you just wait upstairs for a little while?”

 

He smiled, walking over and kissing her on the cheek. “Of course I can.” Both women watched him walk up the stairs.

 

“I know what you're thinking, Laverne.”

 

She laughed, “Oh, you do, do you?”

 

“Yes. You're wondering why in the hell I'm here in Burbank instead of Milwaukee. You're wondering why I entered the same computer dating service you entered your father in. And you're wondering how the hell your father and I were matched up with that way things went with our marriage.”

 

Impressed, Laverne gave her credit. “Well, ya hit the nail on the head, Edna. Why the hell are you in my house tonight after the way you left my father for your ex-husband?”

 

Edna sat down on the couch and beckoned Laverne to do the same. “Look, Laverne. I left your father because I was scared.”

 

“Scared? How could you be scared? He never hit ya or nothin'...”

 

“No, he didn't hit me. It's just that... well... we'd been together for years and I still loved him.”

 

Laverne stared blankly at her. “Yeah...”

 

“Don't you see, Laverne? I've been married five times and never once did any of those marriages last as long as the one between me and your father did. I got scared because I was actually in love with the man I was married to for once. I don't know how in the world that could ever get my goat, but it did. I got scared and needed a place to go that was far away enough from your father that he wouldn't come after me. I'm still on speaking terms with Johnny Babish, so I called him. He paid for my plane tickets, and I've been living with him for a few months. Until three weeks ago, when I remembered why I divorced him in the first place. I was too ashamed to go running back to your father right away, and I'm not exactly desirable on the dating market, so I entered the computer service to give me something to do for a few weeks. I still can't believe I was matched up with Frank...”

 

Bewildered, Laverne stared at her. “I know I should be mad with you Edna... and I was... but I'm not no more.”

 

“You're not?” Edna said, stunned.

“Nope. Look... I know how it feels to be completely in love with someone. I was in love with Randy, and had him taken away. I was scared when Len and I first started falling for each other because I had it in the back of my mind that he could be taken away from me at any minute. I tried to run away from him, but he wouldn't let me. I know our situations are a little different, but... I understand.”

 

Crying, Edna pulled Laverne towards her and brought her into a hug. “Are you and Pop gonna get back together again?” Laverne wondered aloud.

 

“Well, we never divorced, so if he'll take me back, I would gladly accept.”

 

“ARE YOU TWO DONE YET?!” Frank bellowed.

 

“Yeah, Pop. You can come down,” Laverne replied, sniffling.

 

As Frank clunked down the stairs, Lenny came out of the bathroom, garnering a naughty grin from Laverne.

 

“Well, what did you two talk about?” Frank asked, suspiciously.

 

“Well...” Edna said, standing up and walking towards him, “we talked about what a huge mistake I made and how great it would be if you and me got back together...”

 

Frank beamed. “There's nothing I'd rather have happen. I was so angry at you, Edna, but I love you so much.”

 

Laverne wrapped her arm around Lenny's waist as Edna tearfully kissed Frank.

 

“'sides,” Frank added, “my future grandchildren are gonna need a grandmother.”

 

And at that, Laverne and Lenny were drawn into a group hug by two of the best parents that they ever knew.