Title: Did You Ever See A Dream Walking?
Author: Emily
Email: lavennyfic@gmail.com
Catagory: Romance, drama

Rating: PG-13 (Adult content, mild sexuality, language)

Het/Gen/Bi: Het

Parts: 1/1

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, they belong to Paramount. Don’t sue me - I might cry.
Pairing: LDF/LK, LDF/RA
Distribution: I’m keeping my fic on here for now. E-mail me if you have any requests.

Authors Notes: None

Setting: Milwaukee, for “Why Did The Fireman…”
Summary: What if Randy had lived, but Laverne realized that he wasn’t the one she really wanted?

                He was going to ask her to marry him. She knew it. In mere weeks, she could be Laverne Carpenter.

                Laverne Carpenter. She let the name brew in her brain, finally saying it out loud. It didn’t sound right to her. Not that it mattered. The man of her dreams was worth more than a stupid name. Perhaps she could hyphenate it. Laverne DeFazio-Carpenter. It still didn’t sound right. She cursed herself. Her boyfriend – the love of her life - was about to ask her to marry him, and all she could think of was the fact that her last name would have to be changed. She tried to remove the thought from her mind, tossing on her blue toggle coat and heading out the main door..

                The short distance from the Milwaukee Fire Department to Knapp Street seemed endless as she walked the chilly streets alone. For once, she was not attached to Randy’s hip, leaving  her time to think. Did she really want to marry him?

                She cursed herself again. Randy had changed her life. Just when she thought that her social life hit rock bottom after she had stopped seeing Ted Nelson, she had snagged herself another fireman – one with an actual personality.

                Randy was gorgeous. Tall, intellectual, sweet, polite… he was everything that she had always wanted in a man, but couldn’t find. And he actually loved her. They didn’t need to fool around to have a good time – something she could hardly believe. He encouraged her to follow her dreams, and fed her imagination. He was so much more than a boyfriend to her, and he was perfect husband material.

                But something was missing. He had no sense of humor. Sure, he played around with her occasionally, but they were usually too busy swooning over one another that they had no time to joke around - something that Laverne DeFazio was known for.

                Lately her life had been all about love. It stopped being about cheap dates and Sea Hunt  - it was about her and Randy. She felt like she hadn’t seen her friends in ages, even though she saw Shirley every night and the others at work everyday. She had noticed that she hadn’t talked to Lenny in ages, and that he was avoiding her at all costs. They stopped eating lunch together on break, and even the days that she wasn’t seeing Randy, he came up with an excuse as to why he couldn’t spend time with her – saying things like he had to give Jeffrey a bath, or Squiggy lost his moths and he had to go hunting for them. As much as she hated to say it, she missed him. He was her best guy friend, and there were just something’s that even the best of boyfriends couldn’t fulfill.

                As she reached the icy steps of her building, she knew she had to visit Lenny. Instead of heading downstairs, she trudged up to the boys apartment. She rapped at the door, eagerly awaiting him. When he opened the door, he was ready to slam it in her face.

                “Len – wait!” she shouted as she thrust her arm out to stop the door from closing

                He reluctantly pulled back the door, rolling his eyes and heaving sigh. “What do you want, Laverne? Do you wanna tell me how great you and Randy are? How absolutely wonderful it is to finally be with a guy who actually gives a rats ass about you?”

                “Lenny, stop…” she pled; not wanting to have to put up with another one of his tantrums.

                “No, Laverne. I won’t stop. I’ve been wantin’ to give you a piece of my mind for a long time…”

                She grimly searched his eyes. “Lenny… I know. I’ve had a couple of things on my mind, too. I… I…” she looked down at her shuffling feet.

                “What? What could possibly be going wrong in your life now, Laverne? You’ve been livin’ on Cloud Nine these last few months…”

                “I was going to say that I miss you. A lot.” He stared at her, swallowing hard. “And that’s it, Len – I have been on Cloud Nine. But I don’t know if that’s what I want. I’m so scared, Len. I mean… for the first time in my life, I’m in love. And that scares me so much...”

                He couldn’t believe her. She was the luckiest girl alive. He was the one that was suffering. He was the one who had to watch the only girl her ever cared about fall for a guy that was the complete opposite of him.

                “Why, Laverne? What the hell are you scared of?”

                “I’m scared because…” She glanced at her surroundings. She was still standing in the doorway. “Um, before the whole building hears my business, can I come in?”

                “Oh… yeah…” he mumbled, moving to the side so that she could enter. She sat down at the kitchen table, beckoning him to sit across from her.

                “Okay. Well… like I said, I’m scared. I’m scared because I’ve never felt this way, and it feels weird. I feel like every time I’m with Randy, I’m in some fairy tale – like it’s not really happening. And I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about it, because Shirl thinks I’m stupid for thinking that, and you haven’t exactly wanted to be around me…”

                “I thought ya didn’t like me no more…” he muttered, his soft blue eyes clouding with tears. She reached across the table, taking his folded hands and grasping them with her own. They felt warm and rough against her cold, nimble fingers.

                “Of course I still like you, Len… I’m always gonna love ya.”

                “Yeah?!” he exclaimed, his voice two pitches higher than usual, and his eyes wide with disbelief.

                “Not like that, Lenny… you know how I mean.”

                “Yeah… just as a friend…” he said, mocking what she once told him.

                “Len…” she said, secretly warning him not to go down that route again. “Now… are you going to listen to me, or are you going to complain the whole time?”

                “Yeah… I’m listenin’.”

                “Good.” She thrummed her fingers against the cold kitchen table before continuing, trying to gain the confidence to say what she needed to. “Randy means a whole lot to me, but I don’t know if I can go on with him for the rest of my life…” She slowly got out of her chair, nervously pacing.

                “I mean… I know I’m in love with him. He makes me feel the way no other man has, and yet, I still feel awkward around him. I don’t know if I can let him know the real me. The girl who learned the facts of life from a disgusting teenage boy , and would go out with anyone who would take her.” She walked to his side – trembling - unsure of herself. “Len… is he still gonna want me after he gets to know me?” At her worried tone, he stood up to meet her eyes.

                “Of course he’s gonna want you, Vernie” he said with sincerity, reaching out to push her hair back. “You’re the perfect girl… who wouldn’t want you?” She lightly swatted his hand away.

                “A lot of guys, Len. Almost every guy I’ve gotten to know runs away from me when they find out I’m not the easy, confident, bold girl they think I am. I don’t want him to hate me… so I keep pretendin’. The truth is… I am different around him. I’m quieter, I’m nicer, I’m sweeter, but… I’m not the real me.”

                “Vernie, if you’re not the girl you are around him, then who are you?” he muttered, completely overcome by confusion. She cast her eyes downward, seemingly ashamed of what she needed to say next.

“The girl I am when I’m with you.”

“Huh?”

She inched towards him. “Len… I feel like I can only be myself around you. You don’t care what I look like without make up, or when I’m crying my heart out. You know almost everything about me already - I don’t have to get up the courage to tell you my life story. I know that you won’t judge me, and I’m not afraid of what you’ll think of me - ever. I don’t know if you know this Len, but… you’re the only guy that I’ve ever let see the real me.”

“But… why, Vernie? Randy loves you – we both know that. Don’t you love him enough to talk to him about everything?”

                “I don’t know, Lenny. I can’t just sit him down and pour my heart out to him. He’s too perfect to hear how imperfect I am. And plus…” she turned from him, fidgeting with the puckered L on her shirt.

                “…What?” he questioned, moving to her, lightly grabbing the back of her arm and turning her around. He was hardly prepared to see the tears welling in her eyes, her mascara running down her tanned face.

                “He doesn’t give me goosebumps.” She opened her mouth, glancing at him, slowly inhaling. “For all the butterflies I get in my stomach when he kisses me, he’s never given me goosebumps.” She glanced down at his pale, strong hand that still held onto her. She inched her sleeve up to her elbow, showing him her forearm. To his surprise, he saw the raised hairs on her arm - the unmistakable sign of goosebumps. Looking into his eyes, she granted him a shy smile.

                As he pulled her closer to him, she let out a quiet sob. As their lips locked, her arms traveled around his neck, pushing his body against hers. Gently, he pulled back from her, a million questions dancing in his eyes.

Her arms fell to her side as she let go of his shell-shocked body. She sighed, her fingers grazing across his face and smiling as she shuffled away from him.

                “I have to go take care of something…” she muttered as she exited his apartment.

                Telling the man who she had been sure would be her future husband that she couldn’t marry him had to be the most difficult thing she had ever done. She still couldn’t believe that she had let that beautiful man go. A man who was a fireman. A man who had just saved a family of five and a Boarder Collie. A man who, after putting out a raging fire, had quickly showered and dressed so that he could come to her apartment to pop the question. A man who she had openly loved for three months. A man who was crazy about her.

                It wasn’t easy letting him go. She had done what she had feared most – she cried like a baby. She told him her tales of woe, and shamefully admitted that he didn’t give her goosebumps. He cried in return, completely unprepared for the let down. But deep down, they both knew that they would both get over it.

They kissed each other goodbye, and she told him that she really did love him – she just wasn’t in love with him. He accepted what she had to say, and openly admitted that he wanted to see her again in the future. They finally parted, weeping and hugging and promising that they would keep in touch. As he left, she ran into her room, sobbing into her pillow until she had no tears left to shed. At some point, she dozed off, only to be woken by the shrill sound of Shirley complaining that the door had been left unlocked and that there were still dirty dishes in the sink. Upon Laverne’s lazy entrance into the living room, Shirley questioned her swollen eyes and disheveled outfit. Laverne said nothing to her, walking out the front door and up the stairs. Only Lenny would understand.

As he opened the door, she fell into his arms, welcoming his warmth and scent – not having to say a word. He understood.

As she held onto his soft form, she knew she would be okay. It suddenly didn’t matter that she wouldn’t end up with a hunky fireman or a dreamboat model. It didn’t matter that they weren’t the best-looking people on earth. It didn’t matter that their friends probably wouldn’t approve. From now on, they would openly love one another. She finally recognized that deep down, she had always known that it would turn out this way. They were perfect for each other, and she knew that never again would she be afraid of anything. He was her rock. Her savior. Her best friend. Her boy friend. He was everything she needed and more.

He was Lenny.