Shirley and The Not-So-Great Romance
By Dorothy
Its a happy day for Shirley Feeney, The one guy she has been drooling over for two months now has finally asked her out on a date. Shirley is in the bedroom getting ready when Laverne walks in.
Laverne-So Shirl, What is this guy Dave really like?
Shirley-Oh he's Tall,Dark and very very handsome.
Laverne-Where is he taking you?
Shirley-to the River's Edge.
Laverne-(Gasps) That's the most expensive reseraunt in town and you get to go. why do you get to have all the fun?
Shirley-Laverne DeFozio what are you talking about? You are the one who always gets the dates.
Laverne-Yeah but they never take me to places like the River's Edge.
Shirley-Thats because they are to busy Showing you every motel in town and asking which one you like the best. (looks at her watch) I gotta go Dave's picking me up in 10 mins.
Laverne-Have fun Shirl, And be home by midnight.
Shirley-What are you my mother? (leaves)
Shirley and her hunkish date are at the River's edge at a table eating.
Dave-So tell me some about your friend Laverne.
Shirley-Laverne is my best friend she can be nice some of the time
but there are times when she can annoy the heck outta me.
Dave-Is she single?
Shirley-Yeah for now, you know i remember what she wrote in my high school year book.
Dave-Whats that?
Shirley-If in Heaven we don't meet, Hand in hand we'll bear the heat, And if it ever gets to hot, milk and Pepsie hits the spot.
Dave-That was a sweet thing to say huh?
Shirley-Yeah it was.
Dave-well you've told me all i need to know about her and now i can ask her out on a date.
Shirley-Yeah a.....a what?
Dave-Uh you didn't think i was interested in you did you?
Shirley-You mean....?
Dave-I only asked you out to get close to Laverne, Your not my type. I thought you knew that.
Shirley stands up and throws her water in Dave's face.
Shirley-You creep. (leaves)
Shirley walks into the apartment her eyes are red and puffy from crying Laverne see's Shirley.
Laverne-Shirl whats wrong?
Carmine comes in.
Carmine-What happened to Shirley?
Laverne-I don't know.
Shirley-D.Dave dosent like me.
Laverne-What?
Shirley-He only took me out to get next to you Vernie.
Laverne-That Fink. Come on Carmine.
Carmine-Where are we going?
Laverne-To go straighten that loser out.
Dave is still at the River's Edge having dinner with a new woman. Laverne and Carmind walk right up to them.
Dave-(looks up) Laverne hi.
Laverne-Dont hi me you creep.
Dave-I suppose you spoke to Shirley huh?
Laverne-Yes i did, You know if you had approched me and asked me out i would have said yes. But instead you use my Best friend.
You stay the hell away from me and Shirley. Laverne then picks up his wine glass and pours it all over his head then walks off.
Carmine-Yeah no one hurts my Angel Face and gets away with it.
Carmine picks up the girls wine and pours it on Dave's head then follows Laverne.
Laverne arrive back at the apartment Shirley is on the couch still crying, Laverne and Carmine go over and sit next to her.
Laverne-Dont worry about Dave Shirl, He got his.
Shirley-(Sniffles) What did you do?
Laverne-Lets just say he had a date with a glass of wine.
Shirley-You did that?
Laverne-Yep
Carmine-Make that two glasses of wine.
Shirley-(Giggles) You guys are the best friends enyone could ever have.
Carmine-We'll we love you Angel Face.
Shirley-And i love you.
They all hug.
The End
I was bored so i decided to write this, Feel free to tell me what you think of it
Always Dorothy.