Title: Valentine Dinner (1/1)
Disclaimer: I don't own it. I don't make money off of it. I just use it to make other people happy. Suing me will only get you action figures.
Notes: Written for Valentine's Day and Missy's birthday. It's a twofer!
Warnings: Jellyfish can be deadly.
The apartment smelled like wet soot and burnt ham. Lenny had tried for perfect and once again, perfect kicked him in the teeth.
It was his and Laverne's first Valentine's Day, which explained his need, want, and desire for perfection. He could have just made reservations at a fancy restaurant and bought her something nice and shiny that she'd coo over but then only wear on very, very special occasions for fear of losing it. But that seemed so empty and easy. Lenny worked hard to win Laverne's heart and he wanted their first Valentine's Day to show that he hadn't lost that work ethic.
Lenny also wanted it to be a surprise.
He enlisted Shirley's help. Shirley was pretty good at keeping a secret and really good at all of those romantic tricks that girls loved and Lenny wasn't so good at. Squiggy was always good help, but this was something that called for a woman's mind.
Shirley told him everything to do. He cleaned up the apartment so well that it would have sparkled if it had any sparkle left. He showered and spruced and put on his best clothes. He put candles all over the apartment and lit them so he and Laverne could be bathed in the soft glow that Shirley had mentioned a hundred times. Then he fixed a real nice dinner, glazed ham and potatoes and a fancy salad, all according to the recipe that Shirley gave him.
Only he was running late because he couldn't get his hair just right so he turned up the oven to compensate. And in his hurry to set up the candles before Laverne came over, he put one too close to the window.
The drapes caught fire.
Lenny scrambled in panic for a few seconds, including a leap over the couch, before he grabbed a pan of water from the sink and threw it on the fire. The curtains were doused, but badly burned. And he could still smell smoke.
That's when he realized it was the ham.
Lenny made a mad dash to the oven. Smoked billowed from it when he opened it. Coughing, he waved it away with a dishtowel and pulled the blackened ham from the stove, only burning his hands a little bit.
Lenny stood in the kitchen, fanning the smoke out of the window, ruined dinner in the trash, mind racing, trying to figure out how to fix it all, when Laverne walked in.
Lenny tried to explain himself, tripping over his words and panicking outright at one point. His perfect surprise, perfect Valentine's Day dinner, was ruined. Lenny bowed his head in defeat.
Laverne sighed and went to him. Her sweet words made him lift his head. Her sweet perfume blew away the burnt air.
And her sweet kiss made the night perfect.