I Keep My Love For You In a Box
Title: I Keep My Love For You in a Box (1/1)
Disclaimer: I don't own it. I don't make money off of it. I just use it to make other people
happy. Suing me will only get you action figures.
Notes: Written for the LAS Christmas fic exchange.
Warnings: I have bugs.
Shirley stumbled from Lenny and Squiggy's bathroom, a little sweaty and a bit
disheveled. She dropped her cleaning bucket filled with supplies on the floor and looked
at Laverne, who was just finishing up scrubbing the little kitchen area.
"The bathroom is clean," Shirley announced. "Let us never speak of the experience
"It couldn't have been as bad as what I went through," Laverne countered. "I spent
twenty minutes trying to get taffy out of the drain and I found an entire head of lettuce
wedge behind the refrigerator. At least I hope that's what it was."
Shirley stripped off her pink rubber gloves and straightened the bandana tied over her
hair. She sat down heavily in one of the few chairs in the apartment. Laverne joined her.
"I can't believe they actually live like this," Shirley said as she looked around.
"Well, at least it looks a little better than when we started," Laverne pointed out.
"Yeah, and it only took us three hours to get this far," Shirley replied bitterly. Laverne
sighed in agreement. "No use putting it off any longer. We don't want to be here all
night. You want the bed or the bugs?"
"Neither one sounds good," Laverne said as she stood up. "I'll take the beds since you
took the bathroom. I imagine they're scarier than whatever creatures Squiggy is
Laverne headed for the bunk beds, while Shirley began rifling through the nearest
As a favor to Mrs. Babbish and a Christmas present to Lenny and Squiggy, the girls had
offered to clean their apartment. It was no easy task. The place really wasn't filthy so
much as it was cluttered. There wasn't a bare spot to be found. Boxes, newspapers,
plates, glasses, jars of moths, comic books, random possessions were scattered
Laverne pulled a cardboard box from underneath the bed.
"Here you go, Shirl," she said, picking a jar of moths out of it and holding it out for
Shirley to take. "Another jar of bugs."
"That's the sixth one I've found so far," Shirley muttered. She took the jar from Laverne
and placed it on the window ledge with the others.
Laverne continued to rifle through the box she'd found. Aside from a few random items,
it was mostly filled with cards and letters. Looking around to make sure Shirley was
distracted, she opened one of the cards and read it.
It was a Christmas card from Squiggy's dad. The entire greeting consisted of Helmut
trying to get Squiggy to send him money for some get rich quick scheme.
Laverne wrinkled her nose in disgust and tossed the card back in the box, wondering why
Squiggy would keep such a thing. She rummaged around and pulled out another one. It
was from some of the other delivery guys and featured a dirty limerick that had Laverne
struggling not to laugh out loud and attract Shirley's attention.
Tossing that one back, Laverne grabbed for another one.
It was from Lenny to Squiggy. She opened it, expecting another dirty joke in poetry
form. Instead, she got a sweet message of fondness with a few misspelled words. Biting
her lip, Laverne put it back and this time searched for one from Squiggy to Lenny.
She quickly found one and hurriedly read it. The same song of friendship and devotion
flowed from the nearly illegible writing on the inside of the card.
Laverne suddenly found herself digging frantically through the box, looking for anything
addressed from Lenny to Squiggy or vice versa.
There were a lot of them.
Cards, notes, letters, all written with sincerity, promise, and love.
Laverne jumped to her feet, the current letter in her hand flipping and flapping around in
the air before she managed to catch it and crush it to her chest.
She turned to see Shirley standing behind her, hands on hips and looking very stern.
"What are you doing?" she snapped.
"Nothing," Laverne replied shyly.
"You're snooping!" Shirley said. She snatched the letter away from Laverne. "Oh,
Laverne, how could you? Sneaking and reading someone else's private letters. That's so
Laverne blushed with embarrassment.
"You should be ashamed of yourself," Shirley scolded.
Laverne turned away and picked up the box to move it. As she did, Shirley sneaked a
peak at the letter she'd taken away from Laverne.
"Shirley!" Laverne exclaimed as she turned around and caught Shirley in the act.
"I was just…straightening it out," Shirley defended, smoothing the paper between her
"No you weren't," Laverne said. "You were reading it."
This time it was Shirley's turn to blush.
Laverne dropped the box and snatched the letter away from her.
"You oughta be ashamed of yourself, Shirl," Laverne scolded. She glanced at the letter.
"Besides, if you want this to make sense, you've got to read this stuff first."
She started rummaging through the box, pulling out various items and handing them to
Nearly an hour and a half later, the girls were both in tears, exchanging looks after each
piece they read. After the last scrap was finished, they sat sniffling in silence for a
"I had no idea," Shirley said softly.
Laverne shook her head.
"They mean so much to each other," Shirley said, fingering one of the Christmas cards.
"I mean, we all knew that, but we didn't KNOW that. You know?"
"Oh, Laverne, we've got to do something really nice for them for Christmas," Shirley
"We're already cleaning their place," Laverne said, indicating to the partially clean
apartment. "What more can we do?"
"I'm not sure," Shirley said, face falling a bit. She suddenly lit up. "I've got it! You
keep cleaning, I'll be right back!"
"Where are you going?" Laverne asked as Shirley scrambled to her feet and raced for the
door. "You can't leave me here to do all this by myself!"
But the door had already swung closed.
"I guess you can," Laverne said.
She wiped her nose on the back of her hand and resumed her work.
It was nearly ten o'clock before Lenny and Squiggy returned to their apartment.
"Whoa," Lenny said as he walked in. "Somebody broke in and cleaned the place."
Squiggy looked around, horrified.
"We should call the cops," he said, going for the phone. "People can't just going around
cleaning other people's houses for nothing. It's not right."
As he picked up the phone, he noticed a note lying next to it and picked it up.
"Dear Lenny and Squiggy," he read aloud. His eyes widened. "It must be from the
Lenny quickly joined him and read over his shoulder.
"As an early Christmas present, we cleaned your apartment. We hope you like it.
Laverne and Shirley."
"Aw, that was nice of them," Lenny said.
"P.S.," Squiggy continued, "there is a present for each of you on the beds."
Lenny and Squiggy looked at each other for a split second before Squiggy dropped the
note and they raced and clambered over one another to get to their respective packages.
With only a breath of hesitation, they tore into the pretty wrappings.
Each of them looked in puzzlement at both each other and the gifts they held in their
A photo album for each of them.
With a shrug, they opened them. After only a few pages, they realized what the gift
Lenny and Squiggy looked at each other and grinned.