Too Many Cooks
By Barry

TITLE: Memories of Knapp Street
PARTS: One of One


Lenny and Squiggy had been best of friends since the third grade, and Squiggy looked at the calender pinned to the kitchen wall and was reminded that Lenny's birthday was just two weeks away. and Squiggy had a good idea, a really good, nice idea, a party.. Squiggy would plan a party to surprise Lenny. The idea filled Squiggy with a really good, nice feeling. and Squig found the mis-matched pair of socks he's been wearing all week, put them on and soon left for work. Whenever he was sure that Lenny was nowhere nearby, Squiggy would ask a friend of Lenny's to come to the party and many of them actually said yes. and even offered to bring food. Squiggy made the invited guests swear not to mention the party to Lenny. "A party for Lenny , I think it's really swell" Shirley said as she buttoned up her coat & got ready to leave the brewery " We'd better give Squiggy some help with this, who knows what his idea of a party might involve " muttered Laverne .Both women shuddered at the mental images of Squiggy, whipped cream and a game of Nude Twister. Laverne & Shirley volunteered to have the party in their apartment, as it was certainly cleaner that Lenny & Squiggy's but as not to hurt Squig's feelings, the girls sweetly lied and said it would be easier to surprise Lenny this way. Laverne went to Edna's apartment to get some advice on the menu and came back toting a five gallon punch bowl, a dozen punch cups, a ladle and several pages of neatly written suggestions on the party menu. Finally, the day of the party arrived and as it was a Saturday and the party was scheduled for 3 o'clock, Squiggy had to keep Lenny occupied and make sure he did not wander off somewhere like Bardwell's lingerie department where he'd been known to spend hours happily fondling the lacey unmentionables . During a marathon game of Monopoly, Squiggy was able to keep Lenny from becoming suspicious as to his true motives, When Squiggy "suddenly" remembered that Laverne & Shirley had just received the Sears Big Book and Lenny did not have to be invited twice as the Sears catalog had page after page of scantily clad women posing in bras, panties and garter belts. Lenny did find it a bit odd that Squig insisted he comb his hair & put on a clean shirt before they left to drop in on the girls in their basement apartment, "You never know who ya might run into..." Squig said as they shut the door behind them. Once at the door to the girl's apartment, Squiggy insisted on knocking, rather than barging in uninvited, Lenny found this to be really odd. combed hair.. a clean shirt and politely knocking? Shirley opened the door with a smile and an expectant look on her face .This was rather strange as well.. " Oh Andrew... and Lenny..what a pleasant surprise !" at this verbal cue, more than a dozen people shouted "SURPRISE!!" Once in the basement apartment, Lenny was dazed to see so many people, Fonzie, Big Rosie Greenbaum, Edna and Frank,Carmine & several co-workers from Shotz, as well as Laverne & Shirley, wearing their best outfits and actually grinning with the pleasure of surprising him, Lenny had never felt more flattered and a bit overwhelmed as he thought of all of the planning this must have required.; The living room was decorated with colorful crepe paper streamers and a hand lettered banner said " Happy Birthday Lenny" The table was covered in a blue & white checked cloth, and standing in the center of the table was a huge, triple layer cake with a single candle in the center of it "Come on, come on...make a wish Lenny !" urged Frank DeFazio "I got a pan of lasagna in the oven " Lenny blew out the candle to tremendous applause and said " I think my wishes have all come true right here, today " to which Squiggy immediately replied " Naww, how could they? the girls still got all their clothes on..." In honor of Lenny's birthday, Laverne & Shirley politely disregarded Squig's crass remark. and began distributing slices of cake to their guests .In the kitchen resided the five gallon punch bowl, While Shirley was busy with the cake plates, Laverne added a very healthy amount of "Pirate's Reef Coconut Rum" to the fruit juice and ginger ale. When Carmine sang a slow, romantic tune, Lenny screwed up his courage and asked Laverne to dance and she shyly nodded & walked into his arms, Fonzie took the opportunity to add a pint of vodka to the punch bowl. and helped himself to several cookies. and minutes later, Frank poured in a bottle of Triple Sec . The party was a roaring sucsess, the gifts were opened,(Squig had given Lenny a year's subscription to "Nudist Frolics") the cake was demolished... After a few cups of the innocent looking punch, Shirley proceeded to do a down and dirty version of "The Twist" and whispered somthing in Carmine's ear that made him blush and after Frank & Edna left, Laverne was discovered in the coat closet with Lenny, and Big Rosie Greenbaum was passed out cold on the sofa. It would be several days before Shirley would venture from the safety of her bedroom,hugging BooBoo Kitty to her chest moaning about "becoming a drunken floozie" and a week would pass before Laverne's bra was retrieved from the coat closet by an indignant Shirley.. And Laverne decided maybe, just maybe Lenny Kosnowski wasn't quite so icky after all.

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